Now that you admitted it, your answers makes sense.I may not have what it takes, but you are DEFINITELY dying alone with your cats and plants.
A man who can't cut it dictating who will and won't make it is laughable though.
So Yall Really not gon get Married?
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A man who can't cut it dictating who will and won't make it is laughable though.
Ma'am, I thought you were done with me pages ago.
My DMs are open so you can at least beg for my attention in private.
Wear My Dawg's Hat
Superstar
The single mother epidemic of the past four decades has marriage rejection at its roots.
The whole "black fathers aren't needed in the household to raise children" took hold in the 1970s
and has exploded ever since.
So unless we are going to cease bringing children into the world while we figure out the dominant baby mama/baby daddy industrial complex, our children will continue to be subject to being residentially raised mostly by single mothers. single grandmothers, single aunties, foster care, children's homes, and occasionally, by married parents or even rarer, single fathers.
What does this have anything to do with anything. Note the lack of question mark at the end of that sentence.
You must be fifty or sixty. We're not talking about your generation. MOST young black women today get pregnant and have kids without even being married. The woman is often the main caretaker because the court system will do whatever they can to restrict the father's access to the children as much as possible. It's common knowledge that unless you can prove derelict or substantial substance abuse, you have very little chance of beating out a woman over custody. Regarding "financial independence," TODAY - not forty years ago - when women enter a marriage at a level of financial security, the majority of divorced women leave at that same level or higher. I shouldn't even have to say this to adults, but exceptions don't make the rule.
EDIT: Not to mention all the governmental assistance available to women with children, on top of alimony and child support. Someone should run a campaign promising to financially assist men left with nothing after a divorce. I guarantee women would shut that shyt all the way down, though.
Italicised. Yeh those are mainly loser women. You talking about women in marriages or women out of wedlock?
A man has a child. He'll be responsible for providing for that child. Simple. Most men don't want joint custody. If they do... and have a good lawyer they can get it but most don't actually want it.
I'm 30. Childless. 6 figures. 6 pack. Good height, better hairline,
Women want me. I don't want no babymama or divorcee. Unless she's super bad she's lost access to men like me.
I know divorcee men my age and similar salary. No problems getting quality women. A man with resources with a child, still has high stock. Sure some of his resources will go towards his child but he's still up and women.. quality women will deal with it.
A babymum? A man about his shyt don't want that at all.
Again I'm talking quality people. A smart, beautiful woman with a decent career who decides to get married and has children will most likely defer her career for her family for some period of time. Putting her back financially for the greater good of the family and risking her status as a top quality woman if things go sour.
I just don't see dudes signing up in masse to be step father's like that. Just being honest that's never gonna happen. Guys that are successful have way too many options on the table.
Wear My Dawg's Hat
Superstar
Valid points, but step fathers (and step mothers) in a family-organized society, should be secondary
in consideration to biological parents being married and raising the children they've created together.
Step parenting is intended to serve as a safety net when the marriages of biological parents fail.
But in the sex-first culture that we mimicked from the white, so-called "Sexual Revolution" of the 1960s and 1970s, these notions were turned upside down.
I don't think you have a clue of how rare the bolded is, and frankly it's annoying as fukk that you ask if we're all this miserable in real life when America is the antidepressant, liquor, and drug self medication hub of the planet. Like what the fukk are you talking about. The last 3-4 years have easily been the worse of my life and I've had to navigate it dolo. I'm not the exception to the rule, I'm most folk. People in general don't fukk with people on the way up even if they too are up and coming.
Sounding like Lebron after the 11 Finals telling people to go back to their miserable lives, no shyt it sucks, you think we watch millionaires play a child's game because we're sooooo fulfilled in our own lives? Tone deaf shyt. Bron has grown from that and you can too
I could berate you for the apparent obliviousness in your post, but instead I'll say congrats, and be grateful, a$$hole
marriage use to be guaranteed with virginity for the woman to ensure the mans children would be his and receive his inheritance
HarlemHottie
Uptown Thoroughbred
My brother was at the upper end of average financially and his divorce had him damn near destitute out here. We moved him into a new place and helped a lot that first year.His ex wife was educated on his dime and got into her profession off my mother's hook ups, making excellent money, possibly 6 figures. He still had to pay child support tho.
Mrhateeverything
All Star
Yes
Having children fukks men over more than the marriage. Most average, middle wage earning men aren't out here paying all their money in alimony because they don't make enough to have stay at home wives. It's the child support and family court that hurts most average men, which is why having children is a bigger commitment than marriage.
If men had the same mentality towards having children as we do with marriage, then we'd have less issues.
This is the damn truth.
havoc
Superstar
I will add that married couples who are financially successful are not going to split easily compare to their lower-class counterparts because there are financial assets involved. Divesting financial assets can make a divorce proceeding lengthy and lawyers have to get involved to ensure both parties have their fair share of the assets that were built during the duration of a marriage. As a result, the divorce gets expensive which can make the divorce very stressful. High-class couples understand the possible consequence that can occur in their marriage if they decide to divorce. They possibly do their best to avoid divorce by attending marriage counseling or make an arrangement that will keep both man and woman
havoc
Superstar
I will add that married couples who are financially successful are not going to split easily compare to their lower-class counterparts because there are financial assets involved. Divesting financial assets can make a divorce proceeding lengthy and lawyers have to get involved to ensure both parties have their fair share of the assets that were built during the duration of a marriage. As a result, the divorce gets expensive which can make the divorce very stressful. High-class couples understand the possible consequence that can occur in their marriage if they decide to divorce. They possibly do their best to avoid divorce by attending marriage counseling or make an arrangement to date other people.