So Yall Really not gon get Married?

[Wear My Dawg's Hat]

Having children fukks men over more than the marriage. Most average, middle wage earning men aren't out here paying all their money in alimony because they don't make enough to have stay at home wives. It's the child support and family court that hurts most average men, which is why having children is a bigger commitment than marriage.

If men had the same mentality towards having children as we do with marriage, then we'd have less issues.

Fathers married to the biological mother of their children don't pay court-enforced child support.

And they don't require visitation arrangements because they live with their children.

However, the welfare/child support/family court system, since the 1980s, has served as a complete disincentive to black married-family development.

Its focus has been under the guise of "supporting children's best interests" when instead, it has shifted limited black financial resources to fund forming majority black single-mother headed families, single-grandmother headed families, and the destructive social services/family law process that has benefitted from mostly unmarried parents battling one another.

 

[havoc]

It's hard to think about legacy with such easy access to a wide variety of women these days. That's probably the major reason guys are forgoing marriage these days.

Then they should be opened to marrying women who are into POLY Plenty of women who don't believe in monogamy prefer to be in an open relationship.

 

[Killigraphy]

Statistically speaking, what are the benefits really? If you really think signing a legal document makes someone more* loyal, you're out of your mind. We can point to plenty of powerful couples who split. So its clearly not about the money. It coming off more like people are chasing mindless tradition (outside of tax cuts) and are trying to capture some concept.

Either way, its pointless.

 

[Michael's Black Son]

Italicised. Yeh those are mainly loser women. You talking about women in marriages or women out of wedlock?

A man has a child. He'll be responsible for providing for that child. Simple. Most men don't want joint custody. If they do... and have a good lawyer they can get it but most don't actually want it.

I'm 30. Childless. 6 figures. 6 pack. Good height, better hairline,

Women want me. I don't want no babymama or divorcee. Unless she's super bad she's lost access to men like me.

I know divorcee men my age and similar salary. No problems getting quality women. A man with resources with a child, still has high stock. Sure some of his resources will go towards his child but he's still up and women.. quality women will deal with it.

A babymum? A man about his shyt don't want that at all.

Again I'm talking quality people. A smart, beautiful woman with a decent career who decides to get married and has children will most likely defer her career for her family for some period of time. Putting her back financially for the greater good of the family and risking her status as a top quality woman if things go sour.

All of this.

literally all of the shyt you can “get” out a a marriage you can get without being married.

Unmarried people are having kids all the time. Been this way since forever.

 

[Wildhundreds]

Man I can't even imagine being this weird and petty and generalizing of the sexes

I got married on Friday to a woman I love. We've been together 8 years. She was with me when I was broke and struggling to make rent, and she's with me now as we are a few years into our mortgage, living comfortably

Are you all this miserable in real life? Honest question. Like is this whole gender war some stuff that gets parroted because you read it online? Is that it?

The hyperbole is crazy. On both sides. It's like y'all aren't even talking to or about people. That internet anonymity hits like a motherfukker.

It's just so bizarre to me, just coming from a setting where we threw this amazing party for friends and relatives, had an incredible amount of positive feedback, on the job we did planning but also our character.

I know tons of people in here are not used to having someone have their back like that. To them showing the quality of their character over and over again. To have their family show their character, and reinforce it over and over again in positive ways. To understand that someone else can have your back, they can keep your secrets, they are willing to take that leap with you, and build, and grow. I know many of you haven't had that yet. All I want to say is this: you have to be open to that to receive it. You have to be willing to leave your safe space and put yourself out there.

Live scared and you'll die scared. That's all. I hope you find it

These dudes come from extremely broken homes.. Then the fact that they internalize everyones else's failures is troubling.. Like they don't believe they can carve their own lane in whatever they do...

Very sad..

 

[Wildhundreds]

All of this.

literally all of the shyt you can “get” out a a marriage you can get without being married.

Unmarried people are having kids all the time. Been this way since forever.

Then why all the anti marriage threads around here? How is it that the people who were never married always making the don't get married threads?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

Man I can't even imagine being this weird and petty and generalizing of the sexes

I got married on Friday to a woman I love. We've been together 8 years. She was with me when I was broke and struggling to make rent, and she's with me now as we are a few years into our mortgage, living comfortably

Are you all this miserable in real life? Honest question. Like is this whole gender war some stuff that gets parroted because you read it online? Is that it?

The hyperbole is crazy. On both sides. It's like y'all aren't even talking to or about people. That internet anonymity hits like a motherfukker.

It's just so bizarre to me, just coming from a setting where we threw this amazing party for friends and relatives, had an incredible amount of positive feedback, on the job we did planning but also our character.

I know tons of people in here are not used to having someone have their back like that. To them showing the quality of their character over and over again. To have their family show their character, and reinforce it over and over again in positive ways. To understand that someone else can have your back, they can keep your secrets, they are willing to take that leap with you, and build, and grow. I know many of you haven't had that yet. All I want to say is this: you have to be open to that to receive it. You have to be willing to leave your safe space and put yourself out there.

Live scared and you'll die scared. That's all. I hope you find it

A lot of these people are antisocial and are involuntary sexless my admission. Take what they say with a grain of salt. These are the same type of men who will have their nose wide open if they get attention from a woman.

 

[Wildhundreds]

A lot of these people are antisocial and are involuntary sexless my admission. Take what they say with a grain of salt. These are the same type of men who will have their nose wide open if they get attention from a woman.

As soon as some of these dudes get a down woman, they'll change their whole tune about women.. What's troubling is these dudes have 0 patience whatsoever ever.. How dudes be 25 years old or less, having all these relationships issues?

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

As soon as some of these dudes get a down woman, they'll change their whole tune about women.. What's troubling is these dudes have 0 patience whatsoever ever.. How dudes be 25 years old or less, having all these relationships issues?

They don’t have relationship issues because they don't get women. What you are reading is 100% projection.

 

[RTF]

All of this.

literally all of the shyt you can “get” out a a marriage you can get without being married.

Unmarried people are having kids all the time. Been this way since forever.

It says something about a woman if she’s willing to have a baby with a man that doesn’t want to marry her.

She’ll bare a mans child who has not committed anything to her at all. That’s not a smart decision on her behalf.

You think of the smartest women you know directly and indirectly. How many of them would raise a child without commitment from a man or think it’s a good idea? Hetero women.

even in most poly societies a man still ‘marries’ women and he’s to commit resources to her.

 

[Wildhundreds]

It says something about a woman if she’s willing to have a baby with a man that doesn’t want to marry her.

She’ll bare a mans child who has not committed anything to her at all. That’s not a smart decision on her behalf.

You think of the smartest women you know directly and indirectly. How many of them would raise a child without commitment from a man or think it’s a good idea? Hetero women.

even in most poly societies a man still ‘marries’ women and he’s to commit resources to her.

I think women shouldn't fck a nikka with no job or means to a steady/established income..

Why partake in a activity that can ultimately cost you more financial heartache?

 

[Be Strong Blackman]

I tell brehs all the time that sure, after you have sex with a girl, you are gonna want her to get up and leave, but there is gonna eventually be that one woman that after you have sex, you aint gonna want her to leave because you connected with her not only physically, but spiritually, and mentally.


The LEGAL aspect of marriage sanctioned by the government has burned many men though

Don’t marry a broke woman

 

[RTF]

I think women shouldn't fck a nikka with no job or means to a steady/established income..

Why partake in a activity that can ultimately cost you more financial heartache?

Men should also take responsibility. Be a man.

there’s many forms of contraception. Sex is a natural human urge to be enjoyed.

but in any case. Let’s take your line of thinking. Women shouldn’t have sex with a man who will not marry her. He hasn’t committed anything to her and can always runaway. How would you like that?

casual intimacy is one thing. Children is another.

it’s better for communities and individuals if people have marriage in wedlock. It requires commitment from 2 people.

I hate this loser talk men sometimes partake in. Blaming women for everything. Relationships marriage whatever it’s a market. 2 sides interacting. It’s never the sole fault of one side. People these days don’t want to commit. Don’t want to build. Only think about themselves.

people keep bringing up single mothers in their replies to me. Why? You don’t want to date them. Or is that the only type of women you are around?

 

[sosayeth]

However, the welfare/child support/family court system, since the 1980s, has served as a complete disincentive to black married-family development.

Its focus has been under the guise of "supporting children's best interests" when instead, it has shifted limited black financial resources to fund forming majority black single-mother headed families, single-grandmother headed families, and the destructive social services/family law process that has benefitted from mostly unmarried parents battling one another.

All by design, of course.
It's difficult to establish anything long-lasting when your partner comes into the situation knowing whenever there's a tingling in her vagina, there's another daddy there to fully encourage and support her every whimsical step of the way.

These dudes come from extremely broken homes.. Then the fact that they internalize everyones else's failures is troubling.. Like they don't believe they can carve their own lane in whatever they do...

The majority of this thread is men saying they wouldn't mind being married, weirdo.
No marriage will work, however, when modern women's divorce countdown clock starts ticking as soon she hears, "You may now kiss the bride."

Eight out of ten divorces are filed by women, and eight out of ten of those divorces are filed because of boredom. Modern men want to be married, it's women who want to have their cake, eat part of it then decide they shouldn't have, but the next day take another bite, then wish for the full cake back, then toss the cake away thinking they'll find a better cake, then start cycling through bakery after bakery, each time being less able to afford a higher quality cake than previous bakery provided - but getting bitter because they deserve a perfect cake and start blaming the lower quality cakes they can afford for the fact they had a good cake in the beginning.

You think of the smartest women you know directly and indirectly. How many of them would raise a child without commitment from a man or think it’s a good idea? Hetero women.

...like almost, if not, half of them. Seriously, breh, what generation do you really belong to? More than forty percent of college "educated" black women today have one or more children out of wedlock. What planet are you living on where none of these facts are reality? I'd like to visit.

 

[Wildhundreds]

Men should also take responsibility. Be a man.

there’s many forms of contraception. Sex is a natural human urge to be enjoyed.

but in any case. Let’s take your line of thinking. Women shouldn’t have sex with a man who will not marry her. He hasn’t committed anything to her and can always runaway. How would you like that?

casual intimacy is one thing. Children is another.

it’s better for communities and individuals if people have marriage in wedlock. It requires commitment from 2 people.

I hate this loser talk men sometimes partake in. Blaming women for everything. Relationships marriage whatever it’s a market. 2 sides interacting. It’s never the sole fault of one side. People these days don’t want to commit. Don’t want to build. Only think about themselves.

people keep bringing up single mothers in their replies to me. Why? You don’t want to date them. Or is that the only type of women you are around?

Facts breh... I don't get it either.. Dudes stressing over shyt they're not even interested in..