Solutions on dealing with heartbreak?

[murksiderock]

Make her earn your trust, plair

I am. One advice I would share with brothers, is remember that everyone's situation is unique. There are some truths that are applicable to many situations, but end of the day people on the outside don't know you, your woman, or your situation, the way yall do...

If she worth it to you, fight for it. But only you know if she really worth it and you can't worry yourself trying to keep up with what muhfukkas on the outside think of you. That also goes for if you don't think she worth it and people think you should try to work it out...

Only you and her really know yall shyt...

 

[Hawala Man]

We working it out. We aren't back together but we're conversational...

Breh the minute you show a woman you still trying to "repair or work on it" the leverage and dynamics change. I've seen this happen too many times. The minute you keep it moving and live life on your terms with what makes you happy then you will see her trying to make double the effort. Dead the conversational stuff and go mute...silence speaks louder than words. Don't ever let a woman think you need her more than she needs you is what all my OGs taught me growing up and it's always worked. Salute!

 

[semicko82]

We working it out. We aren't back together but we're conversational...

 

[Ohene]

Breh the minute you show a woman you still trying to "repair or work on it" the leverage and dynamics change. I've seen this happen too many times. The minute you keep it moving and live life on your terms with what makes you happy then you will see her trying to make double the effort. Dead the conversational stuff and go mute...silence speaks louder than words. Don't ever let a woman think you need her more than she needs you is what all my OGs taught me growing up and it's always worked. Salute!

yup
id always rather be the one who does the breaking up at this point

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Breh the minute you show a woman you still trying to "repair or work on it" the leverage and dynamics change. I've seen this happen too many times. The minute you keep it moving and live life on your terms with what makes you happy then you will see her trying to make double the effort. Dead the conversational stuff and go mute...silence speaks louder than words. Don't ever let a woman think you need her more than she needs you is what all my OGs taught me growing up and it's always worked. Salute!

Yep. Learned that the hard way with my most recent breakup.

The more you “beg, plead, try and work it out, etc.,” the harder she runs in the opposite direction. Gotta chunk that shyt up and go radio silent soon as she say she done. That’s the ONLY move left on the chess board at that point.

And remember, if you ghost after she leaves you and she doesn’t try and comeback within…let’s say 1, maybe 2 months AT MAX it’s a wrap. After that time period if she’s coming back it’s because her primary option she thought was an upgrade failed.

 

[murksiderock]

Breh the minute you show a woman you still trying to "repair or work on it" the leverage and dynamics change. I've seen this happen too many times. The minute you keep it moving and live life on your terms with what makes you happy then you will see her trying to make double the effort. Dead the conversational stuff and go mute...silence speaks louder than words. Don't ever let a woman think you need her more than she needs you is what all my OGs taught me growing up and it's always worked. Salute!

Respectfully, I've stopped attempting to apply broad statements to my own situation because too many of them didn't apply. A few did, like, she moved the other dude in because she was fukking him. That was true...

Most didn't, and because I know this woman and I want my life and family with her, I know I can't broadbrush our specific relationship. Here's an example, if I do exactly what you say it's going to have an adverse effect on our relationship. That's not what I want...

What I am doing, however, is protecting my money and resources, and being patient on what conversations to have with her. So I'm in the right place emotionally, but there's no point in me acting as if I want another woman or she dead to me because she isn't. I'm as open and transparent with my feelings with her, as I am on here. It's not negatively impacting me, I had a rough 4 months, lost 30 pounds, all kinds of shyt but shyt is on a corrective path with her and we taking it day by day...

She knows she needs me. And to be honest I need her. Not technically, I'd live without her, obviously. But I need her and the goal of repairing our relationship and family, that's within reach so treating her as if I'm the scorned lover when she already on that time is counterproductive to the mission!

 

[ORDER_66]

This nikka still simping???

 

[murksiderock]

This nikka still simping???

My dog you can call it what you want. I'm a grown man, 34 in 25 days. I have a child with this woman, had a home and a family. This was never a situation of a woman who was done with me, fell outta love with me, etc. That would be simpimg, chasing a woman who has washed her hands with you...

This was never that, I understand this woman, the dynamics of our relationship, and I know what is required to put us back together. I'm not really concerned with what nikkas who haven't walked in this specific journey would advise because most brothers haven't been in this specific scenario; the brothers in here who've been in the most similar cases didn't have children with the woman in their case or there were other specifics lacking that are integral to the entire situation...

 

[ORDER_66]

My dog you can call it what you want. I'm a grown man, 34 in 25 days. I have a child with this woman, had a home and a family. This was never a situation of a woman who was done with me, fell outta love with me, etc. That would be simpimg, chasing a woman who has washed her hands with you...

This was never that, I understand this woman, the dynamics of our relationship, and I know what is required to put us back together. I'm not really concerned with what nikkas who haven't walked in this specific journey would advise because most brothers haven't been in this specific scenario; the brothers in here who've been in the most similar cases didn't have children with the woman in their case or there were other specifics lacking that are integral to the entire situation...

dude she dont love you nikka... jesus christ... you acting like you the only one in this entire website that has been in a relationship... talking about dynamics??? What happened to that other dude??? he left or is he still talking to her on the sly? you think she wont leave ya ass for real down the line??? kids dont mean shyt these days. your replaceable. you NEED to understand... it's not yours, it was just YOUR turn...

 

[Rozay Oro]

I'm trying, man. Everything else in my life is well. But I didn't see this one coming, not as I near 34 later this year. And it's really, really working me out emotionally...

All I do is work and come home, on my off days I have my girls to keep me busy. But nothing takes my mind off of it and I'm really struggling right now...

Any suggestions are accepted and appreciated, it's rough right now...

Immerse yourself in a new hobby, jump rope daily or every other day at least if you don’t have a gym routine, cop occasional new clothes and bless the needy. Don’t be a fakkit who posts online how he blesses the unfortunate.

That’s it nikka. God got your back like chiropract

 

[Amestafuu (Emeritus)]

My dog you can call it what you want. I'm a grown man, 34 in 25 days. I have a child with this woman, had a home and a family. This was never a situation of a woman who was done with me, fell outta love with me, etc. That would be simpimg, chasing a woman who has washed her hands with you...

This was never that, I understand this woman, the dynamics of our relationship, and I know what is required to put us back together. I'm not really concerned with what nikkas who haven't walked in this specific journey would advise because most brothers haven't been in this specific scenario; the brothers in here who've been in the most similar cases didn't have children with the woman in their case or there were other specifics lacking that are integral to the entire situation...

I thought I would see a better update that this to keep it a buck. You still haven't moved on mentally. There's nothing to save there. The dynamic of your relationship was based on you being a provider not love from what I can read. Y'all were not together but had a family. I wouldn't look back on a woman who doesn't even feel the need to tell you who is around your kid. You sir are tripping still thinking about saving this situation. Get to a good place to mutually co parent and let the romance side of it go.

 

[murksiderock]

dude she dont love you nikka... jesus christ... you acting like you the only one in this entire website that has been in a relationship... talking about dynamics??? What happened to that other dude??? he left or is he still talking to her on the sly? you think she wont leave ya ass for real down the line??? kids dont mean shyt these days. your replaceable. you NEED to understand... it's not yours, it was just YOUR turn...

The difference is you're talking generic, sweeping statements about a woman you don't know and I'm telling you about I woman I do know...

I refuse to turn into one if you He-Man Women-Hating, trust no bytches type nikkas man I appreciate all advice because I feel it's all from a genuine place, but dudes are also speaking from they own perspective...

If I hung onto your every word I'd destroy a relationship that's right here in front of me with a woman begging me to save it...

So you don't need to believe me or agree with my approach, it's all good. Different strokes for different folks my brother...

And no I don't think I'm the only one been in a relationship, what I said was no one on here has had this specific situation, thru their own anecdotes within this thread...

Old boy gone, could she still be talking to him on the sneak? Of course she could, but when I asked she said no, and look. To repair our relationship we need to regain trust with each other. That takes time, and if I'm hung on a belief that she lying about homeboy to me our relationship never have a chance...

If I find out she lying that's a different thing but this ain't something I'm approaching as if she is. Can't afford to. I've done things to lose her trust too, so we have to regain each other's trust; you can't do that when you're choosing not to take the other person at their word...

 

[murksiderock]

I thought I would see a better update that this to keep it a buck. You still haven't moved on mentally. There's nothing to save there. The dynamic of your relationship was based on you being a provider not love from what I can read. Y'all were not together but had a family. I wouldn't look back on a woman who doesn't even feel the need to tell you who is around your kid. You sir are tripping still thinking about saving this situation. Get to a good place to mutually co parent and let the romance side of it go.

I didn't move on mentally, she didn't either. There's some signs of growth from her coming thru here, but it's a process. We taking it day by day...

This woman is showing and letting it be known that she wants me and because I'm a man who wants her the same, I'm not turning my back on that. Rather, I'm watching her words and actions and letting shyt play out organically, but we are in an improving space...

 

[ORDER_66]

The difference is you're talking generic, sweeping statements about a woman you don't know and I'm telling you about I woman I do know...

I refuse to turn into one if you He-Man Women-Hating, trust no bytches type nikkas man I appreciate all advice because I feel it's all from a genuine place, but dudes are also speaking from they own perspective...

If I hung onto your every word I'd destroy a relationship that's right here in front of me with a woman begging me to save it...

So you don't need to believe me or agree with my approach, it's all good. Different strokes for different folks my brother...

And no I don't think I'm the only one been in a relationship, what I said was no one on here has had this specific situation, thru their own anecdotes within this thread...

Old boy gone, could she still be talking to him on the sneak? Of course she could, but when I asked she said no, and look. To repair our relationship we need to regain trust with each other. That takes time, and if I'm hung on a belief that she lying about homeboy to me our relationship never have a chance...

If I find out she lying that's a different thing but this ain't something I'm approaching as if she is. Can't afford to. I've done things to lose her trust too, so we have to regain each other's trust; you can't do that when you're choosing not to take the other person at their word...

ok bruh do you....

 

[CarmelBarbie]

My dog you can call it what you want. I'm a grown man, 34 in 25 days. I have a child with this woman, had a home and a family. This was never a situation of a woman who was done with me, fell outta love with me, etc. That would be simpimg, chasing a woman who has washed her hands with you...

This was never that, I understand this woman, the dynamics of our relationship, and I know what is required to put us back together. I'm not really concerned with what nikkas who haven't walked in this specific journey would advise because most brothers haven't been in this specific scenario; the brothers in here who've been in the most similar cases didn't have children with the woman in their case or there were other specifics lacking that are integral to the entire situation...

Did the Breh she was involved with leave her so she came back to you or did she leave him because she wanted you back?

I had a feeling that regardless of anything said earlier in this thread, that you just wanted her back and wanted insight on the chances of it happening.

I hope everything works out for y’all this time around breh. Just be cautious… (for some of the reasons Brehs have said on this page… Atp, she knows you taking her back regardless of her fukking this other dude and moving him in.)