Solutions on dealing with heartbreak?

[International Playa]

But no matter what I'm doing, whether work or something else, this chick stays on my mind. I have stretches I don't think of her but they aren't long...

That's normal at the early stage, you will think less of her as time goes by. It took me months

 

[murksiderock]

That's normal at the early stage, you will think less of her as time goes by. It took me months

How many months did it take for you?

I can feel me getting thru it, case in point, I still feel hurt and pain and resentment. But less so than I felt three days ago, and certainly less so than I felt a week-plus ago. Like I can compare my emotional state from today, to a week ago, to two weeks ago, etc, abd there has been a sharp improvement. For that, I'm happy, and it gives me confidence that I'm coming out of it, and will make it thru it...

The hardest part right now is the emotional swings, which I guess is normal as you said. I go from being okay to a flood of conflicting energies. When THAT bullshyt stops, I'll be on good time for real. I can't wait to get outta the part where every day there's mood swings...

But I am experiencing progress, bruh. The pain and all the other shyt I'm feeling today, is less than it was in the past. It's not subsiding fast enough for me---->but it IS subsiding, and that's a hella encouraging sign...

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

How many months did it take for you?

don’t put a time table on shit like breakups.

you’ll be looking up like “damn it’s been 2 months and I still think about her”

just take it day by day.

you better not get back with her. I don’t care what she tells you to massage your ego. DONT GET BACK WITH HER.

“if you cross me, then you lost me.”

 

[murksiderock]

don’t put a time table on shit like breakups.

you’ll be looking up like “damn it’s been 2 months and I still think about her”

just take it day by day.

you better not get back with her. I don’t care what she tells you to massage your ego. DONT GET BACK WITH HER.

“if you cross me, then you lost me.”

I wanna ask you, and everyone else, a question I asked my grandmother on Thursday:

If two dysfunctional people begin a relationship, and it predictably ends in chaos because of those two people's dysfunction, can they ever resume a relationship that lasts when both are matured?

Grandma and I had a conversation about my bio dad, who I've never met, and is in prison in Washington until '27. And I have some things in common with him, some of the more negative traits when it comes to relationships with women. I don't know if judgement is hereditary to any extent but it looks like it's possible and I'm desperate to break things that look like I'm repeating patterns of his...

So I'm really interested on your answer to that question. Not, is it likely. Is it possible?

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

I wanna ask you, and everyone else, a question I asked my grandmother on Thursday:

If two dysfunctional people begin a relationship, and it predictably ends in chaos because of those two people's dysfunction, can they ever resume a relationship that lasts when both are matured?



So I'm really interested on your answer to that question. Not, is it likely. Is it possible?

Why don’t you want better for yourself? If you feel you’re dysfunctional…Work on yourself and don’t return to energy (her) to that will put you back in that space.

Honestly it’s hard to feel bad for you because when she tries to get back with you she gonna hurt you bad again, because you’ve proven that you WILL tolerate her behavior if she fucks things up with you.

look at the poll results

 

[murksiderock]

Why don’t you want better for yourself? If you feel you’re dysfunctional…Work on yourself and don’t return to energy (her) to that will put you back in that space.

Honestly it’s hard to feel bad for you because when she tries to get back with you she gonna hurt you bad again, because you’ve proven that you WILL tolerate her behavior if she fucks things up with you.

look at the poll results

You know what, I forgot I put a poll on here. 10% of people think it can be salvaged, 90% think not...

I think if it trended in the direction that we reconcile, and it hasn't to this point and likely won't, I've acknowledged that and am in the healing stages of it...

But if it did trend that direction at a later time, I'd be able to set boundaries on what is acceptable to me and what isn't. I wouldn't return to an energy that isn't good for me.

 

[YaThreadFloppedB!]

But if it did trend that direction at a later time, I'd be able to set boundaries on what is acceptable to me and what isn't. I wouldn't return to an energy that isn't good for me.

setting boundaries would look like not letting her back in your life. but ima let you rock out since it seems like you haven’t felt enough pain from this woman.

 

[OSUBaneBrowns]

setting boundaries would look like not letting her back in your life. but ima let you rock out since it seems like you haven’t felt enough pain from this woman.

They have a kid so she is always going to be in his life for the foreseeable future.

But he needs to start establishing standards with her and become indifferent to what she does with her love life. It takes time but it's a great feeling when your ex who did you dirty tries to come back but you don't even find them attractive anymore . They can see the coldness and disgust coming from your side and they have to eat it because they know it was their actions that put them in the predicament where there is no chance and they only have to blame themselves for it.

 

[murksiderock]

Haven't slept tonight, been at my homegirl crib since I dropped my daughter off around 5. And again, it's slow, it's gradual progress, but my homegirl helping steer me into a direction I've already trended in...

Which is, further acceptance of the reality here. I'm no longer a priority for her. That's a tough ass pill to swallow. But her new guy is the priority. And I have mostly accepted it, because I can't change it anyway. So now it's understanding that the things I can't change, aren't worth me losing myself over. It's time to move on...

I'm moving, fellas. It may doesn't always seem that way on here, but I've developed greatly from the time I began this thread. The emotional swings and feeling sorry for myself are painful, but I'm progressing...

I have confidence, I feel like I'm entering the phase where I'm ready to move on. Surely later than alot of you brothers told me to, and I'm not about to lie and say I'm completely at peace with moving on yet. Because I'm not! And I know there will still be some tough days ahead...

But I'm advancing, I think I've entered the moving on phase...

 

[murksiderock]

Update:

Really trying week, I started therapy Wednesday, and I'm booked thru late April, may continue it until I leave for Texas in June...

Tough week, but I hit a semblance of peacefulness, found some strength, in the full acceptance of, we are done. A full, complete, no wishy washy shyt, just total acceptance that it's over...

I'll miss her and I still love her at present. Ultimately we weren't right for each other. And I've grown okay with that. It's okay. The reality is this is the best thing for us, and my dumb, erratic, immature, wild emotional ass, was the last muhfukka to accept this, with no excuse making...

The pain is still here but it's lessening. Gradually ...but it IS lessening, I can feel a weight of sorts beginning to lift with a full acceptance of reality...

I love that woman, but I'm good. And about to lock in on Rodney's journey to truly being a Better Rodney, being the best man I can be for me, the best father I can be for those three girls I adore with everything in me, being the best person I can be for everyone who encounters me both personally and professionally, and ultimately, eventually, being the best partner, someday husband, for the woman I earn and live my life with...

It's focus on Rodney season, this will be awhile. May not get back into dating for at least a year, maybe longer. I'm 34 soon, I have time. Putting all this fukking energy into my daughters and myself...

Thank you again everyone, literally every one of you helped save me during this period, and I mean that sincerely. You guys will never truly understand the impact that being able to dialogue on here, has done for me. I needed every word, every critique, everything. I wish I could rep every respondent...

There's still some pain but there's a light now and the tunnel doesn't seem as long. I'm fully and squarely in the acceptance phase, 100%. No "one foot out" shyt. And the burden is slowly, slowly gotdammit slowly coming off. But it's lifting...

Gotdamn I fukking miss this woman....maybe going forward my testimony and my struggles will be able to aid others who are emotionally lost, this was legitimately the toughest thing I've ever had to face, and I mean that shyt. And I'm not out of it yet but I see the end in the distance...

I gotta fukkload of work to put in and I'm getting to fukking work. I want a Better Me, gonna make that shyt happen...

All love always man, to all of you. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Rodney

#FocusOnRodneySzn

 

[Mac Ten]

Charge it to the game and move on...cut your losses. Live to fight a another day.

I did that recently myself.

While you're crying and sobbing in defeat, she's messing with a another Man and getting her cowgirl on.

Focus on your paper, breh.

 

[JetFueledThoughts]

Nah edit cause joking about this didn’t sit right with my spirit

 

[murksiderock]

Charge it to the game and move on...cut your losses. Live to fight a another day.

I did that recently myself.

While you're crying and sobbing in defeat, she's messing with a another Man and getting her cowgirl on.

Focus on your paper, breh.

We working it out. We aren't back together but we're conversational...

 

[Detroit Wave]

Weak ass nikka cut that bytch off and keep it moving nikka

 

[Mac Ten]

We working it out. We aren't back together but we're conversational...

Make her earn your trust, plair