These are my confessions... (for the ladies)

Luna

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I confess I'll think of suicide if I'm not where I want to be in 10 years. Everyday I dream of success but I feel like I'm not exerting the right amount of effort to get where I want.
I also confess I want to change my name and move to New York City. I just want to live an adventurous, fulfilling, amazing life led by my own efforts. :mjcry:
 
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i confess that i am so fukking angry. just mad as hell. mad at myself for agreeing to help my family and mad at my family for taking advantage to the point where i am being robbed of my own quality of life.
 
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I'm traumatized by the attention. When I first left home for college it was non stop and I became very introverted and just began to curb every man who tries to approach me. :mjcry:I still do... I have to know someone in context of being in a setting or organization together. Otherwise it's automatic bushes.:camby:

I definitely avoid clubs though. I don't like loud music or crowds... :huhldup:
:patrice:
 

Solano707

The Coli's dirty Afro-Mexicano
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I confess, I don't love nor trust myself. It makes me angry, so angry that I've yelled at God a few times because I've been praying for years to have more understanding of my wants, needs, limits and reasons. People underestimate how conflicted I feel when my mind, heart and body operate like 3 separate people.

I confess, I've been dealing with depression since I was about 8. I had a rough rough life from childhood till i was about 17. I got hospitalized at 13 for suicide attempt. I thought I came out of it around 16, 17 but from late 18 till now (21) it feels much worse than before. I'm on anti-depressants and medication for Anxiety Disorder but I think it does me more bad than good. People like my current therapist and my husband doesn't understand, though I may have a good, government job and I'm graduating in Computers at the end of the year, those don't make me happy. It scares me to no end to think I will never be happy with myself. There's days that are much harder than others, hell, waking up and eating breakfast seems like too much work. I can be starving and just don't feel like eating and when I do, I have this horrible urge to throw it up. I'm scared to speak on that because I don't wanna get thrown into a crazy penn. I'm even more scared to speak on that I just want to end it all..

On a brighter note..

I confess I am an Anime addict. I own over 50 Anime books and will watch them all day on Hulu.

:noah:
 
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i just feel like my life is so damn stagnant. and i know i shouldn't feel that way because every year for the past 4 years or so, something great has happened for me. but at the same time something is missing, i am just going through the motions trying to keep several balls in the air. i know people will say, well let the balls go, but if people are dependent on you for safety and shelter you can't just do that, unfortunately. i feel like i never have enough money or enough time. its like a circle

now i am in a panic because by summer 2017 i have to move and i have no idea where i can move to given the circumstances. every day its something, where someone needs something, someone wants something or i have to do something. its never a day where i can chose something.
 
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CinnaSlim

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i just feel like my life is so damn stagnant. and i know i shouldn't feel that way because every year for the past 4 years or so, something great has happened for me. but at the same time something is missing, i am just going through the motions trying to keep several balls in the air. i know people will say, well let the balls go, but if people are dependent on you for safety and shelter you can't just do that, unfortunately. i feel like i never have enough money or enough time. its like a circle

now i am in a panic because by summer 2017 i have to move and i have no idea where i can move to given the circumstances. every day its something, where someone needs something, someone wants something or i have to do something. its never a day where i can chose something.
:jbhmm:
What people? Are you married? Have kids? Are these dependents adults with adult responsibilities? Everyone has to pull their weight and develop the skills to stand on their two feet.

You can't take care of other people if you arent good. You gotta take care of you first. And all these people you are supporting, are they giving back?

Also and lastly, is there anything you can give up that you do not need (vs want)? It may be time to minimize, start cutting back and streamline your life or if you can, time for a break/respite.
Make a list if it helps. You may have to sacrifice a little now in order to save for the future. Dont run yourself ragged.
 
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:jbhmm:
What people? Are you married? Have kids? Are these dependents adults with adult responsibilities? Everyone has to pull their weight and develop the skills to stand on their two feet.

You can't take care of other people if you arent good. You gotta take care of you first. And all these people you are supporting, are they giving back?

Also and lastly, is there anything you can give up that you do not need (vs want)? It may be time to minimize, start cutting back and streamline your life or if you can, time for a break/respite.
Make a list if it helps. You may have to sacrifice a little now in order to save for the future. Dont run yourself ragged.
my niece lives with me since my sister can't take care of her. she's only 3 but a handful. no reliable family support and i can't afford to keep hiring people just so i can do basic stuff like shop or housework. her care from start to finish is on my head. this is on top of school and work. i have to work-i worked hard for my position. the school thing i am seriously considering quitting even though i only have 3 classes left on my advanced certificate

my mom sistuation is shyttastic but i don't live with her and i stopped taking her calls as much but when i say these people are of no use, they are of no use. its hard.

i already stopped doing stuff i want or like to do, can't cut back anymore
 

CinnaSlim

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my niece lives with me since my sister can't take care of her. she's only 3 but a handful. no reliable family support and i can't afford to keep hiring people just so i can do basic stuff like shop or housework. her care from start to finish is on my head. this is on top of school and work. i have to work-i worked hard for my position. the school thing i am seriously considering quitting even though i only have 3 classes left on my advanced certificate

my mom sistuation is shyttastic but i don't live with her and i stopped taking her calls as much but when i say these people are of no use, they are of no use. its hard.

i already stopped doing stuff i want or like to do, can't cut back anymore
I feel you. Try reaching out to people and looking up resources that can help you. When you do reach out to people, they may know something that you dont. I missed out on so many opportunities because I tried to do everything myself.

So you cut back on your output. Now you need to increase input. I really hope you can finish school. Are you part-time or full-time? Do you have any scholarships or financial aid that requires you to be full-time?

You have your own business? or are you in HR? You can ask co-workers about childcare services. Or if you have any friends, you guys can split Costco and other bulk store purchases, etc.

We have a couple threads about how people survived on very little. A ton of us grew up broke so we know some life hacks. You can also make a thread. There's a lot of trolls but there is also a lot of untapped knowledge with this large collection of people.

You gotta expand your support network. No one can do it alone. Shoot, you can even make a GoFundMe, people have done it for less. You're stressed, let people brainstorm for you. Then you can choose from your options.
 
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I feel you. Try reaching to people and looking up resources that can help you. When you do reach to people, they may know something that you dont. I missed out on so many opportunities because I tried to do everything myself.

So you cut back on your output. Now you need to increase input. I really hope you can finish school. Are you part-time or full-time? Do you have any scholarships or financial aid that requires you to be full-time?

You have your own business? or are you in HR? You can ask co-workers about childcare services. Or if you have any friends, you guys can split Costco and other bulk store purchases, etc.

We have a couple threads about how people survived on very little. A ton of us grew up broke so with know some life hacks. You can also make a thread. There's a lot of trolls but there is also a lot of untapped knowledge with this large collection of people.

You gotta expand your support network. No one can do it alone. Shoot you can even make a GoFundMe, people have done it for less. You're stressed, let people brainstorm for you. Then you can choose from your options.
local social services linked me to parental support groups and caretaker groups but they meet during the day when i am at work or some other inopportune time. everything local for young kids is geared toward the stay at home parent or grandparent. so that has not worked out

i tried asking family and friends to help, family won't help-they feel my mom should do it (and she can't-a whole other thread) and my close friends moved out of state for work so i can't rely on them anymore.

i am only a part time student (1 class per semester) and my job is paying. no i am not in business for myself. and in my experience coworkers are more interested getting IN your business than helping, so at my current job i've decided not to say anything. some people at my old job know the situation and have not been much help even when asked. i tried doing some play dates and swapping services with people at the lil one's daycare and that went no where.

i tried care.com but the people that responded to my inquiries gave me creep vibes and some of them were asking questions that IMO were too intrusive.

i posted on another board asking for help and the response i got was to hire help. problem is i am not independently wealthy and i don't really get any money from her. whatever i get goes towards the basics of her care. there is no extra.
 

CinnaSlim

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local social services linked me to parental support groups and caretaker groups but they meet during the day when i am at work or some other inopportune time. everything local for young kids is geared toward the stay at home parent or grandparent. so that has not worked out

i tried asking family and friends to help, family won't help-they feel my mom should do it (and she can't-a whole other thread) and my close friends moved out of state for work so i can't rely on them anymore.

i am only a part time student (1 class per semester) and my job is paying. no i am not in business for myself. and in my experience coworkers are more interested getting IN your business than helping, so at my current job i've decided not to say anything. some people at my old job know the situation and have not been much help even when asked. i tried doing some play dates and swapping services with people at the lil one's daycare and that went no where.

i tried care.com but the people that responded to my inquiries gave me creep vibes and some of them were asking questions that IMO were too intrusive.

i posted on another board asking for help and the response i got was to hire help. problem is i am not independently wealthy and i don't really get any money from her. whatever i get goes towards the basics of her care. there is no extra.
Ok, so continue to keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities. If there is no other option, then last step is to sacrifice something. So if your job is paying for it. You might be able to pick it up later. Or you may be able to get a new (better) job or may look into relocation, if this job can transfer you or if you get a new opportunity somewhere else with better resources.

Sometimes, we get put in these types of positions where there is no other option because it is the catalyst for change. Something has to push us to make the hard decision. But in my experience it usually works out for the best. I don't know your sister's situation, hopefully, it gets better and she can help because her child needs her mother. That bond can't be replaced, she can have an amazing aunt and grandmother but her mother will always be her mother and have an impact on her.

I believe it will get better. I'm hoping, praying and sending good vibes and well wishes. I beg of you to take care of yourself. Don't take on more than you can bear.

Idk, what I can do to help without getting in your biz. Your environment has a lot to do with the resources available to you. So continue looking for those resources, keep options open you may what you are looking for in a place you least expected. At least, if you keep looking, letting people know, you create the space for new opportunities. Try to stay flexible. You may be too focused on one direction, and not see what's available around you.

Look up stuff for working moms, or in the church environment. Even, if you are not a strong believer, they tend to have a lot of resources. My church growing up had an afterschool program, summer camp, food pantry, free school supplies, etc. It's also great for networking. Build that network and take care of yourself. I know dealing with a 3 year old is tough. I'll keep my eyes and ears open for you too.
 
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I hate the look ppl give me when I say my bf of three years ....some of them are actually bold enough to say three years and no ring? Like that makes me feel better thanks. This one chick had the nerve to say a man knows whether he wants be with you or not like she's tryna say let me just say this and fukk you up and basically pit thoughts in my head...sigh
Oh and I'm tired I need a mental vacation
 

Vice Queen

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I hate the look ppl give me when I say my bf of three years ....some of them are actually bold enough to say three years and no ring? Like that makes me feel better thanks. This one chick had the nerve to say a man knows whether he wants be with you or not like she's tryna say let me just say this and fukk you up and basically pit thoughts in my head...sigh
Oh and I'm tired I need a mental vacation
Screw them. There's no time table to getting married. Not much is going to change with you as people or a couple whether you get married a year in or fifteen years in.

And I hate this shyt because if you get married then they'll be rushing babies, once you have the first kid then they'll be rushing you to get knocked up with the second, if you have two kids of the same sex they'll be asking if you'll try for the opposite sex, then when are you moving into a house; you will never satisfy people, so do you.
 
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