BelieveBeOK
Superstar
I'm officially in the worst shape of my life. Just stepped on the scale and see that I'm at 100.7kg 
I've avoiding it for months because I knew I would not like what I see.
I gotta get better and putting it here makes it kind of "real" to me.
How I got here
If I had to pin this down on one thing, I would say my depression has been the root cause of my weight gain (about 15kg over the last 6 months)
-I find myself drinking about 4 or 5 nights a week basically to the point of black-out.
-Not only am I gaining calories from the alcohol, but I'm also waking up hungover most days and therefore I have no motivation to get up and excercise (on account of feeling like absolute shyt). I have not excercise since August last year. Even then, that was my only run of the month.
- Zero discipline when it comes to diet. I find myself chasing comfort food (basically anything fried or sweet) to numb the pain when I'm not drinking. I haven't actually cooked anything in MONTHS besides noodles.
Looking at my trash, see McDonald's/KFC/Nando's/Mochachos and Mugg & Bean boxes/wrappers. I've been eating these twice a day for months.
How I feel:
-HEAVY. My right knee is in some mild pain due to all this weight I'm carrying. I'm also starting to get some back pain
- My face is BLOATED like shyt.
- I feel disgusted and ashamed when I look in the mirror. I can't even look at my brother's wedding photos from last month because I'm embarrassed at what I'll see.
-Pissed off because I can't fit in my best clothes anymore.
-My confidence with the ladies is starting to drop a little bit because I'm becoming more self-conscious.
What I'm going to do about it:
-My depression needs to be addressed as a matter of urgency. Just not sure how to go about that right now but I do know that excercise will go a long way to clearing my head.
-Consistent sleep. I must be up at 4 or 5 everyday to start excercisng, which means I need to be in bed by 10pm from now on.
-Running plan. I don't know how it's gonna look like. Important thing is to just start and build up momentum though.
-Bought an indoor bike. On the days I don't feel like running or wake up too late, I will use the bike.
- Tomorrow I go grocery shopping for food. Ostrich meat, chicken breasts and mixed veggies only. Calories must be tracked for every meal.
I must do this
I've avoiding it for months because I knew I would not like what I see.
I gotta get better and putting it here makes it kind of "real" to me.
How I got here
If I had to pin this down on one thing, I would say my depression has been the root cause of my weight gain (about 15kg over the last 6 months)
-I find myself drinking about 4 or 5 nights a week basically to the point of black-out.
-Not only am I gaining calories from the alcohol, but I'm also waking up hungover most days and therefore I have no motivation to get up and excercise (on account of feeling like absolute shyt). I have not excercise since August last year. Even then, that was my only run of the month.
- Zero discipline when it comes to diet. I find myself chasing comfort food (basically anything fried or sweet) to numb the pain when I'm not drinking. I haven't actually cooked anything in MONTHS besides noodles.
Looking at my trash, see McDonald's/KFC/Nando's/Mochachos and Mugg & Bean boxes/wrappers. I've been eating these twice a day for months.
How I feel:
-HEAVY. My right knee is in some mild pain due to all this weight I'm carrying. I'm also starting to get some back pain
- My face is BLOATED like shyt.
- I feel disgusted and ashamed when I look in the mirror. I can't even look at my brother's wedding photos from last month because I'm embarrassed at what I'll see.
-Pissed off because I can't fit in my best clothes anymore.
-My confidence with the ladies is starting to drop a little bit because I'm becoming more self-conscious.
What I'm going to do about it:
-My depression needs to be addressed as a matter of urgency. Just not sure how to go about that right now but I do know that excercise will go a long way to clearing my head.
-Consistent sleep. I must be up at 4 or 5 everyday to start excercisng, which means I need to be in bed by 10pm from now on.
-Running plan. I don't know how it's gonna look like. Important thing is to just start and build up momentum though.
-Bought an indoor bike. On the days I don't feel like running or wake up too late, I will use the bike.
- Tomorrow I go grocery shopping for food. Ostrich meat, chicken breasts and mixed veggies only. Calories must be tracked for every meal.
I must do this
or dudes don't have the discipline to follow-through or even update them later.
) isn't good for weight loss or your health. I noticed you ain't mention this in the OP. 
. No booze either (not planning to quit but need to detox. Quitting totally is probably gonna be one of the biggest challenges of my life)
