Why do women keep remarking that I’m quiet at work?

[Zero]

Look here, if yall dont have to heart to bring this face to face, don't blow up my alerts

 

[Uitomy]

High finance but hiring practices are pretty much indistinguishable from big law.



You can’t really say that you’re pretty social when others think otherwise. This means that there is a “perception gap” that you need to better manage.

And what do you mean by “choosy”. There are many topics of conversation that you can engage in that will not come back to bite you in the ass.

Sports
Food
Restaurants
Nightlife
Television
Movies
Books
Music
Concerts
Video Games
Travel
Hobbies
Activities
Family
Past experiences
Future Goals

Like this isn’t complicated and staying away from controversial topics should be a no brainer unless you’re really close to and trust your coworkers on some “bro” stuff.

Otherwise, there is no need to have to walk on eggshells if you keep your topics of conversation relegated to the above which is more than enough to keep you seeming interesting.

Yeah, but it’s not relegated to controversial subjects when I mean choosy
I also mean speaking in a way that’s not counter productive either, cause we talk about all that shyt back in the warehouse, then, it gets easy to end up talking a bit too much and that’s like 5 min we slow down a bit to get points across and our manager is complaining we cleared 84 totes per hour instead of 90, it’s just the environment for me
If I was in an office setting and I had a bit more freedom with my work I’d be a bit more expressive. Its still important to keep comraderie with co-workers tho, keeps the machine going.
But you know some days you just don’t say much you know?

 

[Koba St]

You gotta be careful with work gossip cause that shyt always comes back, nikkas can't keep quiet for shyt and sooner or later shyt that was said or done gonna make its way back around.

For me personally, it ain't about not wanting to talk. I'm a very sociable and charismatic kat most of the time, except at work...nikkas just simply talk to much, tell ya business and shyt.

Just found out this chick was getting paid by this older dude to fukk on weekends, and I don't even know these mufukkas. Like I said, some big ass mouths in the workplace.
:brehcorrectyourself:

Yep. There’s this nikka at work that I barely speak to, but I know he has a a baby mama, 2 kids, from New York, where his sisters live and all kinds of shyt.

We only say hello to each other when we walk past yet I know his whole life because he can’t stop yapping to everyone

 

[EBK String]

Yeah, but it’s not relegated to controversial subjects when I mean choosy
I also mean speaking in a way that’s not counter productive either, cause we talk about all that shyt back in the warehouse, then, it gets easy to end up talking a bit too much and that’s like 5 min we slow down a bit to get points across and our manager is complaining we cleared 84 totes per hour instead of 90, it’s just the environment for me
If I was in an office setting and I had a bit more freedom with my work I’d be a bit more expressive. Its still important to keep comraderie with co-workers tho, keeps the machine going.
But you know some days you just don’t say much you know?

and you work at amazon. I have to be the only person who has worked in a amazon warehouse and biglaw

 

[Brock Landers]

Because people with extroverted personality types get their energy from feeding off of others...if you don't give them any energy they begin to get agitated and cannot understand why someone doesn't want to talk to them or share information. They're used to getting their way in social interaction, so you stonewalling then sends their brains into overdrive. The other thing I've noticed is people like to "figure out" and pigeonhole others, which allows them to write you off as something they've already determined you to be in their head or justify liking/not liking you solely based on interactions and information they can glean from you. It's only when you don't give them anything to go with that they begin to get uncomfortable and cannot put you in a box. I am polite enough to not be seen as being contemptuous yet reserved enough to not give away any information about myself other than useless generic surface material

 

[Bumblebreh]

Being talkative = easy to figure out

At the end of the day you are paid to get the work done so that means having a professional relationship with work colleague so no buddy buddy shyt.

 

[Cᵣₐₛₕ&ₜₕₑCₒᵤₚ]

When a sc black man has a job, there is a unwritten qualification that they expect you to be an entertainer. Literally you can be damn near perfect at whatever you do, but be business like/brief with your peers (respectfully) and these same individuals will find something to nitpick because you refuse to engage their bull****. Unless fraternizing with your co-workers casually is literally necessary, then just keep it moving. Not even something that exclusive to dealing with cacs :stopit:​

 

[Zero]

Imagine working a job for at least 8 hours a day and being unable to speak to people...then got the nerve (or lack thereof) to wonder why you're looked at as strange.

Imagine doing this and wonder with a straight face why you can't advance. Be the same silly negros talking about "connections" and "networking" in the next thread too. Closed mouths don't get fed.

And no one is asking you to make a Soul Plane audition tape when you finally decide to speak up either. That's mostly a Coli cornball talking point you nikkas love to regurgitate.

@Barnett114 unsticky that gems with dealing with women thread this instant...how nikkas got gems if they can't even handle the women they see everyday

 

[pcpking]

I’m taking a contrarian position from most posters and will say that this has nothing to do with race.

OP, if you want to get ahead in life, you will learn that those that do, most of the time, are not the smartest people in the room. The folks that are the most successful are the people that have superior social capital.

I work in an all-white high paying industry and it’s the same for everyone. My job and many others take the “fit” approach to hiring. We only hire a candidate based off of them being a good fit. Most of the time, this means the right “social” fit. Because we work long stressful hours, they want to make sure that the people they onboard will get on well with the team. The question is asked, “is this candidate someone in which we would want to be stuck 8 hours at an airport with?”

If you are a dull non-social person then the answer will be no and you’re not getting hired. The question is loaded because it implies that a good candidate will have similar hobbies and interests as the team (real hobbies like sports, traveling, and outdoor activities), that they are social, fun, and engaging enough to help the stressful long day go by quicker, and that they are outgoing and proactive in building/establishing/parlaying relationships. Introverted people and those that lack social capital get passed up 100% of the time.

And this a reason why there are not many blacks in my industry because so often we take the “I just go in to do my job and not make friends approach” which is easy to spot in a person and will get you dinged immediately for a position.

My advice would be to be a bit more proactive in being engaging and improving your social skills. Take every opportunity to build those skills, at work, school, bars, or parties. Everywhere. It will only improve your lot later in life. It’s not about “uncomfortableness” it’s about people wanting to be around fun people to pass the time with, especially if you’re working a shytty job.

fukk that. I'm not your entertainment. I'm currently working in a very white environment and it's only so much sports talk I can take and I damn sure don't want to hear about your disrespectful ugly ass kids and wife because my answers to that come from a place a Cac can't understand. I hate when grown people think you suppose to entertain them especially man, of any color. Everything ain't suppose to be fun they need to grow the fukk up.

 

[horizon]

@Zero and @ab.aspectus are right

it's a hard pill to swallow for antisocial types, but we're not in the business of coddling grown men here on the coli

better talk about sports or music or something

 

[invalid]

fukk that. I'm not your entertainment. I'm currently working in a very white environment and it's only so much sports talk I can take and I damn sure don't want to hear about your disrespectful ugly ass kids and wife because my answers to that come from a place a Cac can't understand. I hate when grown people think you suppose to entertain them especially man, of any color. Everything ain't suppose to be fun they need to grow the fukk up.

I respect that. Everybody is not meant to get far in life. We need the antisocial cogs too.

 

[Smokin Rider]

Y'all reading into too much. Most of them probably like you and find you "mysterious" and just wanna know you. Take that for what you will cause some ain't worth talking to

 

[AquaCityBoy]

Y'all reading into too much. Most of them probably like you and find you "mysterious" and just wanna know you

Get set up for a #MeToo case, brehs.

 

[Carlton Banks]

This is why I like being a driver. fukk people.

 

[pcpking]

I respect that. Everybody is not meant to get far in life. We need the antisocial cogs too.

Yea that's ture Young blood. one must be able to smile and tap once master shines the spot light on you. God forbid it's more then 1 master because you end up realizing your in showbiznees. What's crazy is after the lights go out and they say you a good one you still will be in the same spot you was in when you was entertaining.