You Are Pregnant And The Bro Asks For DNA Tests

Ashley Banks

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...and that's all that matters when you get pregnant right?

Your happiness. Not the well-being of the child. I get it.

You do know that for a marriage to work both people have to be happy, right? I won't be happy, I won't want any more kids, I won't want to talk to him, I won't want to do anything for him. I will hate him. In that situation, the parents separating is better for the child.
 

Taadow

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Asking your wife for a DNA test for a child that is likely your because of YOUR insecurity is only thinking about YOUR feelings...NOT the well being of the child.

Only care about YOUR feelings and not respect the feelings of others brehs.

Also, in case you didn't know, a child shouldn't grow up in an unhappy household so if she wants to get a divorce it's her life.

It's not about insecurity...it's about protection.

That's the first thing we are taught (or should be taught) about sex...why not family planning?

As mentioned by someone in here, the test is just the confirmation. If a person wants their partner to have an STD test
before they let someone enter their body, why can't someone want a paternity test before they let someone in their family/heart?




I have a relative who fathered a child from the woman he was living with...the boy has named "(his name) Jr."
Some other nicca called him up and said "I was fuccin' yo' gal, that might be my baby". He got the test done behind
her back, and the boy wasn't his. The boy is walkin' around with his name on him, and that's not his blood.
And I know a couple other stories like this.
THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.
 

Taadow

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You do know that for a marriage to work both people have to be happy, right? I won't be happy, I won't want any more kids, I won't want to talk to him, I won't want to do anything for him. I will hate him. In that situation, the parents separating is better for the child.

No - for a marriage to work, both people have to work together.

Granted, t's a lot easier if they are happy, but each person in the marriage is not gonna be happy all the time. That's just real talk.
 

Ashley Banks

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No - for a marriage to work, both people have to work together.

Granted, t's a lot easier if they are happy, but each person in the marriage is not gonna be happy all the time. That's just real talk.

I'm not willing to work on a marriage after that. He's not going to continue to insult me just because he's paranoid. Do you think it would be fair to make him condoms because I'm afraid to get an STD? I can bring up the statistics showing the amount of women that get STDs from their husbands.
 

Taadow

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I'm not willing to work on a marriage after that. He's not going to continue to insult me just because he's paranoid. Do you think it would be fair to make him condoms because I'm afraid to get an STD? I can bring up the statistics showing the amount of women that get STDs from their husbands.

That's up to you.

Anything is fair in a relationship if both parties agree to it.
 

SouthernBelle

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It's not about insecurity...it's about protection.

That's the first thing we are taught (or should be taught) about sex...why not family planning?

As mentioned by someone in here, the test is just the confirmation. If a person wants their partner to have an STD test
before they let someone enter their body, why can't someone want a paternity test before they let someone in their family/heart?




I have a relative who fathered a child from the woman he was living with...the boy has named "(his name) Jr."
Some other nicca called him up and said "I was fuccin' yo' gal, that might be my baby". He got the test done behind
her back, and the boy wasn't his. The boy is walkin' around with his name on him, and that's not his blood.
And I know a couple other stories like this.
THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN TO ANYBODY.

Again, you all have posted real stats on the situation. Your anecdotes are the vast MINORITY. The vast MAJORITY of men are raising children that are theirs.

Also, the bold is rather silly logic especially if it's between a HUSBAND AND WIFE who decided to already CREATE that family together. Boyfriend/girlfriend..whatever I don't care because I'm not having out of wedlock children.

However, your logic, especially within the context of a husband and wife (a family) just does NOT fly. HIS feelings are NOT the only feelings that matter. Get your test for a child you planned (whether now or eventually) with your wife but please expect consequences and repercussions since he is NOT the only person that has to "protect" themselves. At that point, she need to protect herself so if protecting herself means not having anymore children with him or no longer living with a man who does not trust her (and she probably doesn't trust now), then hey everyone has to do what they have to do to be happy.

He needed a test to be happy (and was unwilling to be discrete and do it without her knowledge). She needs a different type of relationship/man to be happy. You can't say one is selfish without calling the other selfish.
 

bennett

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I get why most women, particularly the ones who are faithful, would be upset by the request. But it's really not about her. It's about BOTH parents KNOWING for sure that a child is in fact their's. And a neither woman's word, nor his faith in her fidelity can "prove" paternity.
 

SouthernBelle

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That's up to you.

Anything is fair in a relationship if both parties agree to it.

But what if he doesn't agree (just like she doesn't agree with the paternity test). You don't think he has the right to question his marriage and whether he wants to be in it with a person that is clearly dealing with their OWN insecurities?
 

Taadow

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would you think it was stupid if he wanted to leave because of it?

Yes, absolutely.

I am on record here as a person who:

- doesn't want any children, so i'm not against the condom in a marriage/long-term relationship.
- will NEVER EVER get divorced if I ever get married.
 

SouthernBelle

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I get why most women, particularly the ones who are faithful, would be upset by the request. But it's really not about her. It's about BOTH parents KNOWING for sure that a child is in fact their's. And a neither woman's word, nor his faith in her fidelity can "prove" paternity.

I'm guessing you wouldn't think it's crazy at all if a wife subjected her husband to condoms use and regular STD testing (maybe even regular lie detector tests) since there's no of knowing if he's actually being faithful (and she has to protect herself since she really never knows). He should just be okay with that and do it?
 

Taadow

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But what if he doesn't agree (just like she doesn't agree with the paternity test). You don't think he has the right to question his marriage and whether he wants to be in it with a person that is clearly dealing with their OWN insecurities?

There will be a myriad of things a husband will not agree with his wife on in a marriage. This example is just another.

The difference is, for the most part in such an instance the husband will take an L to keep the peace.
(generalization coming) Wives seem less likely to do that.
 

Ashley Banks

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I'm guessing you wouldn't think it's crazy at all if a wife subjected her husband to condoms use and regular STD testing (maybe even regular lie detector tests) since there's no of knowing if he's actually being faithful (and she has to protect herself since she really never knows). He should just be okay with that and do it?

She's just wants to be re-assured. Do you know how many women get STDs from their husbands? :whoa:
 

SouthernBelle

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There will be a myriad of things a husband will not agree with his wife on in a marriage. This example is just another.

The difference is, for the most part in such an instance the husband will take an L to keep the peace.
(generalization coming) Wives seem less likely to do that.

Baseless generalizations mean nothing.
 
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