Be honest brehs & brehettes...how many of y'all just don't see yourself getting married?

[Malcolmxxx_23]

I'm gonna marry @Token and @Sunshine at the same damn time

 

[thirdeye]

Why don't y'all just step that $$$ game up? Just saying I know plenty of people that didn't have no wedding or place to live/debts/kickass vacation decisions.

That's what we're trying to do, we have a 3 year plan that including getting a place and getting our finances straight. I'm also planning to go back to school part-time next year so the cash flow will be a little slow.

 

[Mr. Negative]

I don't. but I also think I'm just bitter.

I'm at the point where I just want to meet someone who's an actual adult, wants to deal with her own mistakes,

and who will come by when she wants, chill when she wants, we enjoy similar shyt, we fukk when it comes down to it, she leaves when she wants and doesn't try to take shyt with her.

Would I be missing out on some prolly perfect and potentially permanent relationship because of stuff like that?

yeah.

But what is marriage if not just signing some papers saying you can legally fukk and no one can say shyt about it, while getting tax breaks for it?

 

[Ashley Banks]

I'm gonna marry @Token and @Sunshine at the same damn time

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

Then throw @Token annoying cat in the bushes

 

[Diondon]

I don't see it happening. I don't have a problem with marriage itself and wouldn't try to discourage anyone from getting married. I just don't want those problems in my life. My job is stressful enough don't want anything else added into that.

 

[MikelArteta]

You really tried to slip out the thread without dropping these?
Drop.

1. Is she Healthy, and if she can have children.

a) This is very important to me, you can get tests nowadays that can look at your genes and tell if you are at a high risk to develop certain type of cancers, dementia, alzheimer etc.
But but i love her, yeah but let's say she has a strain that leads to ALS or early symptoms, do you love her enough to be there when she is stricken in a wheelchair, can't communicate and needs you to wait on her hand and foot for the rest of her life?

b) Can she have children......you see it couples married for year and years, trying to have a child but the results are not happening, it's important to make sure that if you want children that your wife doesn't have a scarred womb etc., because one of the major reasons men get married is to have children of their own.


2. Is she from a strong loving family.

A woman from a strong loving family knows what makes a family, knows the sacrifices her dad and mom made. The fights how they stayed together, how important communication is, the ups and downs of marriages and not to bail when in a rut. As well they were brought up in a loving environment and actually know the meaning of love.

Compared to a woman from a broken family, or raised by a single mom. Hasn't seen what makes a family, hasn't seen the strong bond and love between a dad and a mom, how to keep a healthy relationships etc. Marrying a broad from a broken family you are headed for disaster.


3. Dig into her past.

Yes dig into her past, find out everything. If you were to buy a car, a house you would want to know the history of it. If the car has been in a accident, if the house was a grow up. So why would you not dig extremely deep and find out everything whether it hurts you or not about the women you want to spend your life with.
I would go as far as to hire a private investigator let him tail her for a few weeks or a month, let him dig into her history, find out her credit rating, find out if she has a criminal record, find out about her exes, her old places of employment EVERYTHING.
Nothing can be worse than marrying a women then finding out she owes 100,000, has trouble keeping a job, or gasp is cheating on you, I would take these steps and more.


4. No prior kids

There are many reasons for this and I will try to go through all of them

a) A woman with a child who is not married to me shows carelessness. I do not care that the rates are so high with children born out of wedlock, as a man would this be the type of women you want to marry? A women who had a child out of wedlock who made a horrible choice, is that what you want to wake up every day for the rest of your life to?
Is that who you would trust your finances with? your home with? be careful brehs

b) Instead of just being you and her growing in love together, travelling together, enjoying life together. It becomes you, her, baby daddy, and her child. Great you already have a 4 person family and drama every day till you croak.

c) Why save her? There are millions and millions of single childless women out there, don't give up your happiness for baggage.

5. Don't concentrate on looks, concentrate on what she offers.

This is very important, ever seen a chick's mom and your like eek how did she ever produce a daughter that looks so beautiful, then you look around their house and you see a wedding picture, and your like wow that looks exactly like my girlfriend. Because that's how it goes, women depreciate in looks very fast, just because everything is great now doesn't mean in 5-10-15 years or after kids she will look just as dashing.
So ask yourself this, if your only wifing, ringing, marrying this girl because shes a 10/10 what if she falls off, what if she can't lose the baby weight, what if she chops off her hair and everything starts to sag will you still be around? That's why you have to concentrate on more than looks, how is her personality, how does she treat others, does she nag a lot. Remember you will be stuck with her for the rest of your life, choose wisely.

6. Does she submit to you in your relationship

You are the man and the head of the household, a woman who will not realize this and try to test you and think she is in charge will make a horrible horrible wife.

7. Make sure she is 24-28

24-28 is the age range your wife should be around, not to young and not to old. Marry to young and get hit with the "im sorry but i was so young, i did not get to do everything I wanted", to old like 30, 31, 32 you are just the 2 bdrm bungalow for 110k on the outskirts of the city, aka the starter husband. 24-28 you get a women in her prime, whose graduated and has previous experience in relationships.

8. Make sure your family approves of her as a person.

Sometimes you get so caught up in love etc. that you don't see all the red flags and flaws those who really care about (your family) see. From my own observations, many times when the family doesn't approve not including race or religion the marriage will end in divorce.

9. Don't be unequally yoked.

What I mean if she is Jewish and you are christian your ideologies will clash. If she is a atheist and you are a christian, if she is even semi religious and you are hardcore again the clashes will destroy your marriage.

10. Willing to sign a pre-nup

but I'm broke with only a minimum wage job, so are you telling me your going to broke and working a minimum wage job 5, 10, 15 years down the line? You have car insurance on your car but don't expect to be in a accident right?
Protect everything you have.

 

[Incogno]

When your grandparents were married even parents.

There was no tinder where you can find someone more attractive with the next swipe, there was no online dating where you are like at a buffet and can search by race and height , there was no Facebook to snoop or chat up to a old ex, there was no Instagram filled with attractive people a DM away. Women didn't have a million SIMPs worldwide feeding their ego.

Nowadays women got 50 men texting them good morning, thousand of followers on Instagram, in their phone and headphones in their ear when out and about. Saying anything may be a harrasment in this generation.

Gramps probably only had to compete with a few other men, now you gotta compete with hundreds maybe thousands for her attention.

Have a fight with your partner or break up on tinder a hour later, its never been easier to have that new car smell.

*Sigh*

unconditional love is the only difference...

the reason why people continue on staying married is because of unconditional love..

its not a coincidence that the bible encourages us to be friends with the opposite sex...then marry...then become intimate


theres an implication.....true fellowship is important..character is important.....when you have a true fellowship with your significant other...that is unconditional love..


theres a connection of dots...when you become friends...you discover each others character....you discover each others personalities...you discover each others spirit...

when people jump into possessive relationships...that doesn't happen...the relationship is just based on the superficial...

 

[skeetsinternal]

@malcolmxxx_45

 

[010101]

Do you really believe that though? That's kind of sad to entertain that thought.

I say that cause I've had moments where I was thinking that...just all in myself just down and noticed women checking me out and seeing the looks of disappointment/sadness when I didn't reciprocate any of their signals/advances/whatever when they saw I didn't want to talk to them or ignored them.

I'm kind of a cold person...I've been working on not trying to be that way...but I've been through a lot of bullshyt that made me put my guard up when it comes to people. I feel like just at 30...I'm putting it down.

I would admit that I am not the most emotional person/// in fact I have been called COLD as well
It's just I see myself and humanity in a very raw way
I am an animal and I acknowledge my need for sex
I acknowledge the pleasure I take in sex///I'll even admit to enjoying a certain level of intimacy and companionship

It's just very easy for me to leave
Very easy for me to let go of emotions
Because of this I never fight for relationships
I know that I will always do as I please and I believe the same thing of everyone else
Some people say that I have an inability to love because I don't put others before myself
I say the only way I can love is out of the over abundance of love I have for myself

I could ramble on but the point is bro you are who you are and you have to learn to love that
You can't trade personalities just for the sake of seeming warm and caring
Women will do as they please and so should you
Don't feel bad because you are supposedly cold and nonreciprocal towards some women

You can only control what you do and your happiness should be based in that
Women should understand that aswell

I'm not sure anything I just typed will be relevant or usefull to anyone jahahahaa but you'll be fine bro//////

 

[trick]

Maybe Im too young to comment on this. But man she's gonna have to be something else. She's gonna have to be something I'd feel stupid for passing up on. I'm really the type of dude that needs his space, and that's what makes relationships hard for me. I like taking a week to myself sometimes, being mandated to see and talk to someone everyday would be a lot of work. A serious relationship is hard for me, marriage just seems out of the question. Im sure I'll change eventually though, somewhere down the line. And I'll find someone who sweeter than my solitude, till then though, Im chillin.

I had one of my old girls (who I loved) stay with me for a couple of months before. I enjoyed her company, but it got annoying having her around so much. I need my space.

feel the same way. i haven't really been in a relationship that's lasted long and i prefer to have space to myself. if i can find someone who understands that i need space to be alone sometimes, then marriage is a viable option.

 

[Token]

Then throw @Token annoying cat in the bushes

Neg. Kat is a part of the package, brehby. Take it or leave it.

 

[MikelArteta]

I remember when I was in a relationship, missing college football, NBA draft even one time the Superbowl

Tom from 12pm to 2am I'll just watch college football won't look at my phone won't be mowing the lawn just college football and Sunday well the NFL


And I love it.

feel the same way. i haven't really been in a relationship that's lasted long and i prefer to have space to myself. if i can find someone who understands that i need space to be alone sometimes, then marriage is a viable option.

 

[Yup]

I'm 26 going on 27, and I only met one woman in my entire life that was marriage material.
She wound up throwing me in the bushes, so I doubt I'm gonna get married barring a miracle. shyt isn't worth the headache or the heartache these days.

Pickings is slim for Black men that only date Black women, our sisters are so destroyed. Looking for a Black woman that woman that is racially aware and has knowledge of self is like looking for a needle in a haystack in a yellow convention on the sun. I refuse to have kids with a dumb bytch nevermind marry one.

Funny black women say the same about black men. They are no less 'damaged'than black men.

 

[Yup]

I don't. but I also think I'm just bitter.

I'm at the point where I just want to meet someone who's an actual adult, wants to deal with her own mistakes,

and who will come by when she wants, chill when she wants, we enjoy similar shyt, we fukk when it comes down to it, she leaves when she wants and doesn't try to take shyt with her.

Would I be missing out on some prolly perfect and potentially permanent relationship because of stuff like that?

yeah.

But what is marriage if not just signing some papers saying you can legally fukk and no one can say shyt about it, while getting tax breaks for it?

People always say that...but clearly its nit just paper or else so many wouldn't be so scared to sign it.
Is money just paper?