Coli Breh that have had kid(s) with your girl and maintained the relationship..whats the secret??

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I understand that it may be something extra thats bothersome but idk. Shouldnt be an issue in this situation. The baby comes first and you gotta give a lot of leeway to the mother..for a long time.

Im not sure of his thought process totally but if he wasnt sure of marrying her beforehand then he obviously made a mistake having a kid with her.

If i was OP..id damn near give her another full year and see what happens. What i would not do is buy a house or propose to her at this point though.

I agree totally

 

[b_b]

The hormones will fukk thier shyt up royally. You also need to make sure she don't got post partum because a lot of times women will not talk about that shyt or seek help. Dealing with a pregnant woman is bad but if she is already a woman that don't got all the tools in the toolset so to speak your shyt about to be hell on earth and that's damn near impossible to rectify and salvage.

All I can say is one your baby is born, step up and toss that kid shyt aside and focus on your child. She may not like it, but fukk how she feel. And nikka if YOU don't like your girl focusing only on the kid and you lonely, grow up.

How often these hoes have kids and are garbage mothers putting they kids third after themselves and thier man and thecoli (rightfully) shyts on em. Vice versa for the fellas too.

Basically the focus is the future, you had a good run lmao

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

I agree totally

 

[Cynic]

@Cynic

He fell for the oldest tr!ck in the book.

The sexy fun is the bait and the trap - afterwards it's 18 years of getting stuffed like a taxidermy

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

Get over what? Not trying to troll but I’m not clear on what you mean.

Do you mean get over the changes of being pregnant, giving birth and becoming a parent? Because there clearly is no set answer for that.

I’ll tell you this - the baby you see as a result of her pregnancy took 40 weeks to develop. If you are thinking pushing out a baby is the equivalent of taking a shyt - whereby you might experience immediately relief, I think you may be mistaken.

Pregnancy can literal change the brain function of a woman. When she gives birth, if she is lucky, her recovery may be smooth. Other times, not so much. She can have physical issues herself or even have postpartum depression, which, again, obviously isn’t something 1) the average person anticipates and 2) something that can be fixed overnight. I’m not even going to touch on how dikk looks to you immediately after you’ve just pushed a person out of your vagina. To some it looks delicious and may be welcome but that isn’t the case with every woman.

And everything I just described to you is just for the lady...I haven’t even touched on the points of actually taking care of the baby itself.

If she is taking responsibility to put the child first, then I would say she is doing the right thing.

As @BlackPearl The Empress suggested, it is kind of amazing that, even in this day and age with information abound, a man can get a woman pregnant but not care enough to learn about what the pregnancy ultimately means for their child, her as the mother, him as the father or even them as a couple. If he did, I think 9 times out of 10, he would be anticipating his life to change completely as not just a new father but as a partner to a new mother - and not acting like these changes are the shock of his life.

I anticipate such a drastic change for me should this happen that it has me concerned to the point of not having a kid at all. Everything changes significantly and there is no grace period. Not sure ill ever be ready for that

 

[Cynic]

Caring more about getting your dikk wet than the wellbeing of your family isn't support. Idk what family is to you but convenient and easy isn't one of them. If you can't put your family before yourself you have no business creating one especially if it's just that easy for you to walk away.

That's nice and all but women still initiate 70-80% of divorces.

 

[acri1]

I anticipate such a drastic change for me should this happen that it has me concerned to the point of not having a kid at all. Everything changes significantly and there is no grace period. Not sure ill ever be ready for that

I'm saying. Having a kid sounds completely miserable for everybody involved.

 

[NkrumahWasRight Is Wrong]

I'm saying. Having a kid sounds completely miserable for everybody involved.

Would you rather go to jail for 3 months (but it otherwise not affect your job/career) or be in OPs shoes?

(Assuming he breaks up with her etc)

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

That's nice and all but women still initiate 70-80% of divorces.

It's a gender neutral post so...yeah ok

 

[NegaDuck]

Growing up i used to see this happen quite often but didnt pay much attention to it....a seemingly loving couple in a relationship for a while and then they have a kid and somehow their relationship dissolve and c'est la vie.

now as an adult and going through it, im just confused as to how to overcome it and not fall victim to the seemningly inevitable sequence of things.

My girl and I went out for 2 and a half years and everything was A1....abundant sex, adventurous, communicative....i would call her my best friend. ONe thing lead to another and she became pregnant..we had the baby 10 months ago and somehow everything just switched...slowly at first, then now rapidly.

So for the first 2 years of our relationship, we lived in our different space but gradually she would spend more and more time at my place but it was so beautiful and nothing out of the ordinary. After she got pregnant, i figured with a kid in the picture, it would make more sense for us to live together eventually. During the pregnancy she maintained her apt but a month before the kid was born, we moved into a two bedroom apt.

Looking back now, i can see an almost immediate switch right after she became pregnant....the sex dropped DRASTICALLY, she was slightly less concerned about the companionship aspect of our relationship, her appearance, her drive etc..i just figured its the pregnancy and didnt think too much of it.

Lets just say after we moved in, it started to become pretty glaring that something has changed. Again, i just use the excuse of new born baby and changes that she's going through to try to rationalize her behavior. But after 9 months, it feels like its not just a phase.
I remember at some point after she became pregnant, she said something that i took at a joke. Our sex life was ALWAYS kinky af,...doing all types of wild ish together. After we found out she was pregnant, we were about to have sex and she said "now that we are having a kid, i should know that she doesnt have to do any of that freak things anymore"..she said it in a joking way, so i just laughed along. But really, thats what its come down to. Infact, it would be perfectly fine with me if we just have vanilla sex ever so often but thats rarely on the table every 3 weeks, if im lucky.

She's become very controlling, especially when it comes to my interaction with the kid. Constantly Nagging about every single thing...literally EVERY SINGLE THING she finds a reason to complain about....her demeanor is 180 from the person i knew when we were dating. I literally feel like an invasive guest in my own "family".
I damn near feel tricked. I've spoken to other guys who's relationship dissolved after a kid or kids and they tell me the same sequence of events.


Its like women disguise who they are so effectively Until you get them pregnant, then its "thank god i dont have to pretend anymore.....whats the point of you being around?" comes out full force.


Now i look at some of these guys that are able to maintain their relationship after a kid or two and im wondering what their secret is.
Or if they're going tthrough the exact same thing but just pushing through because of the kid.


For my coli brehs
1. if you've yet to get to that position, be on the look out for signs that she's that person because im sure there are always moments when they drop their facade

2. If you've been in it and it worked itself out, whats the secret??

3. If you didnt go through that with your lady, what was the key to making that happen?

This gonna sound DuckTales as fukk, because when it'si ever I talk about it, sound unbelievable, but its 100% true.

The key for me ( I have 2 baby mom's ). I never fukked them again after we broke up, so they once they got out of their feeling 100%, the couldn't hate me because I'm a good dude. I never got jealous when they got new dudes, and never played that "I don't want other nikkahs around my kids" card ever, even if I didn't care for the new guy.

They never put me on child support. I eventually got custody of both my kids and put them on child support though ( for other reasons, not for the money itself , I only make them pay 50 bucks each a month).

All 3 of use are cool af and I could still fukk of I wanted. ( But never will lol )

 

[™BlackPearl The Empress™]

I'm saying. Having a kid sounds completely miserable for everybody involved.

Not for people prepared for the responsibility. Plenty people love being parents.

 

[Strapped]

“Have an affair, act like an adult for once”
-Jay-z

Don't do this , women are moody , they constantly like going out , she probably has a lot of resentment towards you for changing her life even tho she got what she wanted . Try to make it work fir your kid . Kids grow better with pops in the home .

 

[Hiphoplives4eva]

This post is sad. Its clear you woman doesn't respect you. You need to read that woman her rights or tell her to fukk off.

6 months after a baby is still early and a woman's hormones are all jacked up. 9 months is a bit long to be blaming hormones. Read that woman her rights or bush her

 

[Verbal Kint]

You're comparing different generations and different mind sets. Men of yesteryear didn't need to understand every facet because they understood it's time to grow up and provide and weren't willing to just walk away because everything wasn't perfect like then they were childless

The post wasn't about reading books. It's about understanding what your partner was going through. I think that was pretty obvious though.

You literally said men should 'research'. Apparently that doesn't include books now? I'd think the connection was obvious but I guess I'm not on your level of thought lol.

The biggest difference is the men of yesteryear you speak of were much more likely to be married to the woman they impregnated than today. That's a male AND female issue. Folks today split up easier, give up quicker, and are way more positive towards 'co-parenting' than before

 

[BigMoneyGrip]

Growing up i used to see this happen quite often but didnt pay much attention to it....a seemingly loving couple in a relationship for a while and then they have a kid and somehow their relationship dissolve and c'est la vie.

now as an adult and going through it, im just confused as to how to overcome it and not fall victim to the seemningly inevitable sequence of things.

My girl and I went out for 2 and a half years and everything was A1....abundant sex, adventurous, communicative....i would call her my best friend. ONe thing lead to another and she became pregnant..we had the baby 10 months ago and somehow everything just switched...slowly at first, then now rapidly.

So for the first 2 years of our relationship, we lived in our different space but gradually she would spend more and more time at my place but it was so beautiful and nothing out of the ordinary. After she got pregnant, i figured with a kid in the picture, it would make more sense for us to live together eventually. During the pregnancy she maintained her apt but a month before the kid was born, we moved into a two bedroom apt.

Looking back now, i can see an almost immediate switch right after she became pregnant....the sex dropped DRASTICALLY, she was slightly less concerned about the companionship aspect of our relationship, her appearance, her drive etc..i just figured its the pregnancy and didnt think too much of it.

Lets just say after we moved in, it started to become pretty glaring that something has changed. Again, i just use the excuse of new born baby and changes that she's going through to try to rationalize her behavior. But after 9 months, it feels like its not just a phase.
I remember at some point after she became pregnant, she said something that i took at a joke. Our sex life was ALWAYS kinky af,...doing all types of wild ish together. After we found out she was pregnant, we were about to have sex and she said "now that we are having a kid, i should know that she doesnt have to do any of that freak things anymore"..she said it in a joking way, so i just laughed along. But really, thats what its come down to. Infact, it would be perfectly fine with me if we just have vanilla sex ever so often but thats rarely on the table every 3 weeks, if im lucky.

She's become very controlling, especially when it comes to my interaction with the kid. Constantly Nagging about every single thing...literally EVERY SINGLE THING she finds a reason to complain about....her demeanor is 180 from the person i knew when we were dating. I literally feel like an invasive guest in my own "family".
I damn near feel tricked. I've spoken to other guys who's relationship dissolved after a kid or kids and they tell me the same sequence of events.


Its like women disguise who they are so effectively Until you get them pregnant, then its "thank god i dont have to pretend anymore.....whats the point of you being around?" comes out full force.


Now i look at some of these guys that are able to maintain their relationship after a kid or two and im wondering what their secret is.
Or if they're going tthrough the exact same thing but just pushing through because of the kid.


For my coli brehs
1. if you've yet to get to that position, be on the look out for signs that she's that person because im sure there are always moments when they drop their facade

2. If you've been in it and it worked itself out, whats the secret??

3. If you didnt go through that with your lady, what was the key to making that happen?

Got emmmmmmm!!!!!!!!