If You Don't Want Me, Why Can't I Holla At Ya Friend?

[Gold]

Me too



I don't see the spin, duh who wants to be 2nd choice. I am speaking of if you know we are friends and you have seen us together etc... It will be like you wanted the friend more and now trying to settle for what you can get. This is common in people is general.

Not just that, but seeming like you are like this:





It's unappealing to us.

If I you didn't know like by chance that's another thing. That has actually happened to me in the end my friend and I laughed about it.

I dont think you are responding to the OP's question...
You're putting yourself in the place of the 2nd choice.

OP is asking why do you care if you are the first choice, you say no, and then he goes to talk to your friend.

And the only reason this should bother anyone is their ego

 

[Arishok]

I dont think you are responding to the OP's question...
You're putting yourself in the place of the 2nd choice.

OP is asking why do you care if you are the first choice, you say no, and then he goes to talk to your friend.

And the only reason this should bother anyone is their ego

That I don't care about but being second choice is

 

[Raava]

I dont think you are responding to the OP's question...
You're putting yourself in the place of the 2nd choice.

OP is asking why do you care if you are the first choice, you say no, and then he goes to talk to your friend.

And the only reason this should bother anyone is their ego

I was responding to you. You said ladies which I assumed you meant the ones who posted in the thread.

I'm talking in general terms and giving more information because on both ends most of the time it's unappealing to both friends. Ego is involved but it's not just about ego.

 

[Gold]

That I don't care about but being second choice is

I feel you. No one wants to be second, I get that.
That part actually makes sense.

The other part doesn't

 

[Gold]

I was responding to you. You said ladies which I assumed you meant the ones who posted in the thread.

I'm talking in general terms and giving more information because on both end most of the time it's unappealing to both friends. Ego is involved but it's not just about ego.

Ok... in the situation that I and OP mentioned, how is it unappealing to friend 1?

 

[Arishok]

I feel you. No one wants to be second, I get that.
That part actually makes sense.

The other part doesn't

I would just see the dude as thirsty, bouncing from girl to girl in our group but I'm not going to cock block, do you bro

 

[Gold]

I would just see the dude as thirsty, bouncing from girl to girl in our group but I'm not going to cock block, do you bro

That's all we're asking for

 

[detroitwalt]

You wanted me first, got rejected then turned to my friend. Why not some other girl who has no clue that I rejected you? Situations like this never end peachy. You'll always have friend 2 thinking "he wanted her first".
I've been friend 1 and friend 2, it's just stupid to me

If a guy overlooked me to holla at my friend and she turned him down so then he decided to try his luck with me? Yeah that's not happening, lol.

Fellas to avoid this trap you never zero in on one woman with her friends directly unless one is cute and the other one isn't. I'm comfortable enough where I can strike up a convo with 2 or 3 women that are together. If they're all cute, you don't focus on just one. As the conversation flows youll be able to find the one that's feeling you because she'll be talking to you the most. If you're able to carry a conversation you can subtly steer it towards the chick you're feeling and find out if she's into you or not. This way you don't have to worry about one feeling some kind of way like the women I quoted stated.

 

[karim]

Why is it that when a woman rejects a man, and he turns around and tries to holla at her friend it's a problem? The woman doesn't want the man, and it's not like they have history, had sex, dated etc.

If I told a chick I wasn't interested and she tried to holla at my friend I'd tell him "Cool breh, do you".

Like real talk, if you said you had a man, then I turned to your single girl friend you'd probably not have a problem with it. This hasn't happened to me, but I'm just saying.

And why is it women want a man to do all the work and chase them even after they've curved him? Like you shoot your shot with a chick and for some reason she wasn't feeling you, but later on she changes her mind. But she waiting for you to make a move, and does some passive aggressive shyt like stare at you or add you on social media

And y'all say things like "If it was meant to be then we would be together" but you just curved dude, and he got tired of sitting around waiting on you.

shyt never made sense to me either. She wants you in her personal stable for whatever reason. The motive for keeping you around is usually based on thot logic that I'll never truly understand

WHY NOT?!!!?!?:Mileswhat:

It's kind of like when as a man, you're not supposed to holler at the girl your friend is interested in even though you know he doesn't stand a chance, just in a reverse, twisted, woman logic kind of way

 

[Gold]

It's kind of like when as a man, you're not supposed to holler at the girl your friend is interested in even though you know he doesn't stand a chance, just in a reverse, twisted, woman logic kind of way

Its actually nothing like that...




EDIT:

Honestly, this is just one of those things you chalk up to "Learning the Game".
Its one of those unwritten rules that you just follow and don't question.

Women cockblock hard as shyt, its just in their nature.
We can debate it/complain about it/denounce it, but at the end of the day, we have to abide by these rules when we decide to play the game.

I aint even mad


(maybe a little)

 

[Raava]

Ok... in the situation that I and OP mentioned, how is it unappealing to friend 1?

It just seems thirsty and you trying to get what you can get whoever it is. Which is could be true which makes it even more ew. I never understood trying to go through someone's friends. Neither of us would want to deal with you.

OP seems young so for example, In college a situation where, I turned a guy down time goes by he knows who my friends are but things happen and he gets cool with my friend cool IDC

A situation where I'm out dude happened to approach me, I turn him down. Then a seperate time he saw my friend happen to approach her they talk cool IDC Like I said that happened me and dude had even gone on a date perviously I didn't care.

But if you try to talk to me then turn right around and try to talk to my friend on some "Ok what about you?" lol both of us would be like I have had a guy try to talk to me leave go all the way around the club and slide up next to my friend or wait until I went to the rest room and try to talk to my friend next. Ew

 

[Chelsea Bridge]

You have to read the title though. If YOU (Chelsea Bride) dont want me, why cant I holla at ya friend... If YOU didnt want someone, would you have a problem if he tried to get at your friend?

Well basically what @Arishok And @Spotlessmind said

 

[Gold]

It just seems thirsty and you trying to get what you can get whoever it is. Which is could be true which makes it even more ew. I never understood trying to go through someone's friends. Neither of us would want to deal with you.

OP seems young so for example, In college a situation where, I turned a guy down time goes by he knows who my friends are but things happens and he gets cool with my friend cool IDC

A situation where I'm out dude happened to approach me, I turn him down. Then a seperate time he saw my friend happen to approach her they talk cool IDC Like I said that happened me an dude had even gone on a date perviously I didn't care.

But if you try to talk to me then turn right around and try to talk to my friend on some "Ok what about you?" lol both of us would be like I have had a guy try to talk to me leave go all the way around the club and slide up next to my friend or wait until I went to the rest room and try to talk to my friend next. Ew

buddy tried some shyt he saw on a sitcom

I'm fine with what you're saying.

My whole point is just, if your friend is a grown ass woman, let her make the decision if she wants your curved leftovers of not?

 

[karim]

Its actually nothing like that...




EDIT:

Honestly, this is just one of those things you chalk up to "Learning the Game".
Its one of those unwritten rules that you just follow and don't question.

Women cockblock hard as shyt, its just in their nature.
We can debate it/complain about it/denounce it, but at the end of the day, we have to abide by these rules when we decide to play the game.

I aint even mad


(maybe a little)

It's exactly like that. As a man, you follow that code in order to not make your man feel inadequate. It's the same for woman, because you shifting your attention to her friend makes her feel inadequate and she will see her friend as illoyal if she responds to your advances. If your interested in a woman, in her mind, you are supposed to pursue her while she makes up her mind about whether or not she considers you an option, and if so, where she will put you in her ranking of potential mates. You shifting your attention fukks up the natural order of things, and her friend is not allowed to let that happen.

 

[Gold]

It's exactly like that. As a man, you follow that code in order to not make your man feel inadequate. It's the same for woman, because you shifting your attention to her friend makes her feel inadequate and she will see her friend as illoyal if she responds to your advances. If your interested in a woman, in her mind, you are supposed to pursue her while she makes up her mind about whether or not she considers you an option, and if so, where she will put you in her ranking of potential mates. You shifting your attention fukks up the natural order of things, and her friend is not allowed to let that happen.

The bolded is what i'm talking about. Why would your friend be disloyal for talking to a man you have no interest in?

Because your ego is too large and is cockblocking potential relationships