the 2nd girl i ever loved and thought i would possibly marry, she dumped me said she didn't love me anymore then started dating someone else right after me (im pretty sure she cheated) and now their engaged etc. well I just found out there doing counselling and USING MY BROTHER IN LAW AND SISTER who are pastors as their counsellors
I'm livid and told my sister she is disrespecting me and if they continue this and do the wedding or even attend teh wedding that i sever the ties with them for life for this blatant disrespect.
Of course now i'm being portrayed as unreasonable and bla bla what would Jesus do etc.
the 2nd girl i ever loved and thought i would possibly marry, she dumped me said she didn't love me anymore then started dating someone else right after me (im pretty sure she cheated) and now their engaged etc. well I just found out there doing counselling and USING MY BROTHER IN LAW AND SISTER who are pastors as their counsellors
I'm livid and told my sister she is disrespecting me and if they continue this and do the wedding or even attend teh wedding that i sever the ties with them for life for this blatant disrespect.
Of course now i'm being portrayed as unreasonable and bla bla what would Jesus do etc.
In the grand scheme its not a big deal breh, if you are truly over her i dont see the issue. Its like you are asking your sister to pick sides in a battle thats not really happening... Let it go and k.i.m.
This will be one of my longest posts I've ever written here, but I wanna get some shyt off my chest right now regarding disrespect from people in general, especially females.
This is another gem of a video by Tariq I'm posting for a reason in line with what I have to say:
Never tolerate disrespect from females, whether it's in jest or not.
Ole girl I mentioned who disrespected me through whatsapp was damn near sniveling and crying to my female cousin after I told her to step and go message somebody else. It's always fascinating to see how they react when they see you clearly don't give a fukk and can easily just get on with it and not care they even exist. She kept sending me messages, but of course I ignored them and didn't bother to reply which I guess the ether made that soul burn slow. I wasn't doing it as some kind of game, cos I don't play games, but I have my principles and if I feel you overstepped the mark I will check you from the gate.
Anyway, she's a friend of my cousin but she lives abroad and she told my cousin that she was just playing and didn't mean any offence but I took it the wrong way (at one point though she said to my cuz "I didn't know he was so sensitive" more on that point later...). She forwarded the whatsapp convo to my cousin so she read the whole thing and my cousin told her that she has to remember that there's a slight cultural difference and also, if someone doesn't know you, then people tend to read what's on the screen in black and white and feel disrespected even if it wasn't intended. My cousin told me that she (my cousin) felt that I shouldn't have said the "go message another man" part, but I said, nope I stand by what I said. If I feel like you're attacking my character, there's nothing wrong with me telling you to find someone that ticks your boxes. I feel that's totally fair.
Anyway, this chick actually called me on my cellphone (goodness knows how much that cost) so I suggested she just speak to me through skype or viber since it would be free, but her laptop wasn't working and she couldn't do it on her blackberry so I figured I'll just let her talk, cos shyt, it ain't my phone bill so why should I give a fukk. Anyway, she was saying the same things she said to my cousin and that it was miscommunication and whatnot and that I was ignoring her messages and shyt - however the word 'sorry' never came out her mouth regardless. So afterwards, we spoke briefly about other stuff and that was that. She hasn't messaged me since we spoke on Sunday and I'm not about to message he either.
The point I'm making is this: it doesn't matter whether someone is supposedly jesting or not....if they say or do something you don't like, don't be afraid to check them on it or throw them in the bushes altogether. NEVER let shyt slide. If something bothers you or makes you uncomfortable, wtf are you sitting back being quiet for? don't let muthafukkas shame you into calling you "sensitive" or touchy or a crybaby. No, a real man stands up for his. Different things affect different people. Some will do that reverse psychology shyt and say stuff like a real man is thick skinned and doesn't let little comments affect him. BULLshyt. You ain't a fukking man if you just sit back and allow a disrespectful person get away with their bullshyt. Like a tumor, it always starts out small then grows and grows and multiplies because you failed to identify it and cut it out.
I'm talking in generalities too, not just some chick you're seeing, but even members of your own family or friends and acquaintances. If you got some bitter ass and/or controlling aunties/female cousins/sisters or whatever who come at you sideways, check THEM. I don't care if they wanna throw temper tantrums, call you disrespectful, try and put hands on you etc...stand up for yours no matter what the temporary cost is. You're a fukking grown ass man, you ain't 12 years old no more and they need to accept that. shyt, my own father knows not to overstep boundaries with me cos I'll set him straight. If you ARE wrong and you know it, then by all means don't be too proud to listen to criticism or advice, but even then, don't let people talk to you any ole way. This is an example of a sniveling coward who lets people run him:
I'M having webcam sex with a woman on the other side of the globe.
My new friend is naughty, feisty and very rude.
She says the most outrageous things to me and I find myself letting go like never before.
Most times we both end up naked, exhausted and in hysterics.
She whips out adult toys, mucky mags and sexy lingerie which she uses to turn me on.
The other day she dressed as a naughty teacher and we roleplayed for hours. In return I talk dirty to her and make her feel cherished and adored.
She’s British and we met via a chat room. Suddenly I have a reason for getting up in the morning. We take it in turns to contact each other on our different time zones and I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it.
I’d love to meet her for real but I’m frightened of what my family would say. She’s desperate to get back here as she is divorced and would love to be near her mum and sisters again.
But my mum and her boyfriend live in my house with me. I know for a fact my mum would not take kindly to another woman coming into our home.
She wouldn’t approve of me sharing a bedroom with my friend or changing our routines.
I’m in my early thirties. Two years ago I was in a disastrous relationship with a local woman.
She used me for money and for sex and my mother has since dubbed me “useless with women”. But I have to believe my new lover and I have a chance, don’t I?
You see what I'm talking about? This dude is afraid to bring a woman into HIS own home that HE'S paying for cos he's scared his mommy will disapprove, despite the fact she's living there with a man she's not even married to herself. Sometimes, you can't even have tht your mother wouldn't take advantage of your weakness, that's the world we live in. Now if this dude was halk a fukking man, he would tell his mother that this is HIS house and he's bringing a woman there and if she doesn't like it, she can either tolerate it or she and her partner will have to find somewhere else to live. For all he knows, she might just admire the fact that he's finally grown some balls and even mellow down. Even if she refuses to have anything to do with him after that, so what? She wasn't much of a mother to begin with, so there's no real ultimate loss.
Stop worrying about making broads like you. fukk being "liked", that shyt is for the birds and you don't have feathers or a beak attached to your face. Have your shyt together as a man and make yourself a force to be reckoned with and demand respect from everybody. Just because someone likes you doesn't mean they'll respect you. You may be nice until they decide to come at you sideways for whatever reason and if they do that, they obviously don't even like you any ole damn way. At least if they respect you, they won't come at you greasy and may even like you for THAT.
Seriously, dudes need to man up, because I'm seeing epidemic levels of moist ass, no testosterone having, bytchassedness worldwide.
Another thing, stop giving these broads so much power. My female cousin is a bit on the heavy side but with an attractive face and the amount of super mangina simp shyt dudes say to her and other broads she knows makes me cringe to the point where it becomes unbearable. Basically, to say dudes are putting her and other chicks on pedestals is an understatement. Put it like this, you can read your bible, quran, torah and any other spiritual book and you'll never read a single passage that has half the reverance to a figure that some of these dudes give to chicks, it's embarassing. Needless to say, they laugh about that shyt all the time.
Playing games my left nut. Its only playing games cuz you stopped entertaining her and you stood your ground and she feels like shyt. And because of that, you are sensitive. I've had the same thing happen to me breh. What really cheeses me the most though is when they say stuff like this after the fact. Like i got 0 fukks for your BS and then you go ahead and call me sensitive because of that? I usually cut them off once and for all the minute i hear something like this.
I have avoided this thread....but I cant front it's hard out here finding down chic to hang with....I thought I had one, but she couldnt deal with the fact I had a baby moms at the house....so she dipped....dont blame her....but a nicca just need somebody I can look forward to seeing
I have avoided this thread....but I cant front it's hard out here finding down chic to hang with....I thought I had one, but she couldnt deal with the fact I had a baby moms at the house....so she dipped....dont blame her....but a nicca just need somebody I can look forward to seeing
id say in this generation it's harder than ever, with a click of a mouse you can find someone hotter, richer, more "compatible". Especially as you get older, a pretty face and a curvy body just won't do it anymore many men are looking for substance, a woman that's loyal, that you don't have to fight 50 other niccaz to get but it ain't easy.Right now im messing with this chick who has met my criteria so far but i expect nothing I know right now i could be putting a smile on her face but by the morning she'll be no longer interested, just living day by day
id say in this generation it's harder than ever, with a click of a mouse you can find someone hotter, richer, more "compatible". Especially as you get older, a pretty face and a curvy body just won't do it anymore many men are looking for substance, a woman that's loyal, that you don't have to fight 50 other niccaz to get but it ain't easy.Right now im messing with this chick who has met my criteria so far but i expect nothing I know right now i could be putting a smile on her face but by the morning she'll be no longer interested, just living day by day
the 2nd girl i ever loved and thought i would possibly marry, she dumped me said she didn't love me anymore then started dating someone else right after me (im pretty sure she cheated) and now their engaged etc. well I just found out there doing counselling and USING MY BROTHER IN LAW AND SISTER who are pastors as their counsellors
I'm livid and told my sister she is disrespecting me and if they continue this and do the wedding or even attend teh wedding that i sever the ties with them for life for this blatant disrespect.
Of course now i'm being portrayed as unreasonable and bla bla what would Jesus do etc.
Goddamn, it's a cold cold world. I'd be mad as hell too at my sis and the ex too. smh @ what would jesus do? Jesus was a rolling stone like Derek Jeter. Sis might be doing it for the check though.
the 2nd girl i ever loved and thought i would possibly marry, she dumped me said she didn't love me anymore then started dating someone else right after me (im pretty sure she cheated) and now their engaged etc. well I just found out there doing counselling and USING MY BROTHER IN LAW AND SISTER who are pastors as their counsellors
I'm livid and told my sister she is disrespecting me and if they continue this and do the wedding or even attend teh wedding that i sever the ties with them for life for this blatant disrespect.
Of course now i'm being portrayed as unreasonable and bla bla what would Jesus do etc.
your sister should know better. I would be pissed as hell. fukk Jesus in this case. Blood should always be thicker than water. This girl strung you along, fukked you over, and still has the nerve to go to your sister. She obviously knew what she was doing when she did that. And your sister thinking she has turned over a new leaf and is none the wiser.
I'd say stick to your word. I've had bickering with family member where i stopped talking to them for a good period of time (~6 months), and they've realized the mistakes they made and we bonded much better. Be mad at your sister, tell her that you will not tolerate this kind of disrespect, and if she goes through with it, then you'll never forgive her. Stay strong breh.
As much as we like to get on women, we got to turn the mirror to ourselves. Women go for swag, but we go for looks. We get on women for chasing this bad boy and trying to change him around, knowing he won't change, but how many of us go for that superfine broad and ignore just about everything about her personality, but think we can mold her into the woman we want? We see that super bad broad with that big booty and we tell ourselves we got to have her by any means necessary, but we ignore the fact that she has 10,000 dudes texting her. We ignore her scandalous club history. We ignore the fact that she hasn't been in a relationship that lasted more than 4 months her whole life... but we say we'll get her and then use our 'game' to morph her into miss loyal and miss sweet.
something about women you got to realize is that some are like dough and are actually moldable, while others have already came out the oven and are the way they are going to be. What happens if you try to take a cookie that's out the oven and try to remold it? It'll break. Some women are simply not moldable, and keeping them around when they have all the wrong characteristics is inviting disaster. You got this fine woman with ho characteristics, but you want to try to turn her into little miss pure? Disaster. We all would save a lot of time and problems by realizing that we invite either problems or pleasure by the women we invite into our lives, so it makes sense to learn to assess them to a high degree, and that includes taking looks out of the equation when making our character assessment.
I haven't been in this thread in perhaps a year or so but this shyt is so real and I just came home from a situation that exemplified it.
long story/rant. apologies in advance.
Just the other day I had just entered the checkout line at the grocery store when I caught my eye on this BAD dark skinned thing just comin in the store and goin to the hair products aisle. Mind you she had sweat pants and a whatever v shirt on but you could still see the big ol jello booty bouncing with each step and the big ol titty cleavage sandwhichin a thin waist and a very pretty face (w/o makeup). So i was like fukk it, i turn my cart around go up to where she was at lookin at products and hit her with whatever line about finding her cute and wanting to introduce myself, yadda yadda. She was receptive but she told me that she was seein someone and had a 3 month year old kid () . So whether she was bullshyttin or not I was already voicing my exit strategy on some 'well, i'll see ya around, peace' when she asked me where I worked b/c i was wearin a lanyard from my job (Id just came from work). She asked me if i worked at the store and i said nah and showed her that the lanyard was actually the name of this big time energy company that i worked for. Her eyes shot up and she talkin about how her best friend works in that same energy industry and she's the one who hooked her up with the current dude she's dating b/c the dude she had the baby with left her () and she'd been goin on dating sites trying to find someone with no luck, and she aint 'really' with the current dude cuz its been only 2 weeks and blah blah blah.
So at this point i'm lookin at her like.. ok, too many red flags... but ( @ me) she sweet as hell, comes across humble (or humbled), and that ass is very phat ().. so i said fukk it, i told her to exchange numbers wit me and we'll go grab dinner sometime to get to kno each other and shyt. She was down.
-----------
So the next day i hit her up like, aight lets go grab a bite to eat or whatever. She's like cool, i say what about chilis, she said she liked this one spot tho... so i google map it and i swear i only see like this burger place, and so i'm like whatever, cool. So we plan on meeting up at 9p and I text her like "ok so its in this location right?" and she txts back "nah, its in the mall" () I say.. aight. i'm thinkin the food court area. So i get there and i dont see the restaurant nor her so i call her like, ok where is it, where u at, i'm at the food court." She hits me with "no its right outside the mall, with the valet parking" I'm already thinkin "valet..? this bytch right here.." So turns out its this fancy lil restaurant where everything not an appetizer is basically 50-60 bucks minimum. appetizers started at 20, the small ass lil desert cakes are on some $80 tip and nothin but old chubby white people eating there.. and i'm lookin at this like "this bopper bytch think she slick... ".
So just as im figuring all this out, she arrives lookin straight video vixen instagram model status with the tight 'elegant stripper' (lol) lookin outfit, but im already too far gone with this. It became awkward cuz they asked if we had a reservation (i was like ), but they sat us down and they asked her if she wanted to try some new fancy ass drink and she was like "oh of course!" . They turn to me, i'm like: "water ". So waitress leaves and at that point bopper asks me, so this place is above ur level? on some borderline snide shyt but i kept my cool and said this wasn't what i was expectin, i dont kno shyt about you, so I thought we were hittin a burger place to get to kno each other (i had originally suggested chilis, so the place she said and that i googled seemed within the same 'type' so thats why i assumed what i did & didnt even occur to me to clarify b4 hand.. smh) . So we had a short back n forth about the name/directions but then she said well this is the type of place i go on all my first dates , that she dont do shyt like 'chilis', and the dude she was with b4 was a major producer and the guy before him an athlete, and she aint lowerin her standards for no one." "I aint living an ordinary life" she throws in there.
lol
So I got up and said "Good luck findin some baller then. but that producer just ditched u and ur barely 3 month old daughter, so keep that shyt in mind with them standards of urs' and I bounced. Didnt pay for shyt. i should've brought up how her ass admitted to scavenging on datin sites lookin for love and how shes a 'real estate agent' with no specified education (she had dodged that question the day we met) but wants to live the privileged life. But, at that point i was thinkin about gettin outta there and not about tryna start some ignorant lovenhiphop mess.
Man the bottom line is respect is way more important than a shot at getting some sex or spending time with a woman. Way more. The reason why men have so many problems these days is they are led with that little head instead of their big head. They hear lame philosophies pumped by simp negroes around them telling them they better go jump off and do anything to be with such and such woman and rush to jump inside the legs of any decent looking woman that spreads her legs. The reality is what is SCARCE is valuable. Most men operate with the philosophy that the woman has something they have to have by any means necessary so she is free to charge him all day long. What a man should really do is work on himself and be as high value as possible and realize that he has what women want and if she doesn't know how to act, she gets dismissed. Screw all that listening to foul mouth talking, having these women pull all these stunts. The problem with a lot of men is they feel they must get a woman's attention by any means necessary so they are willing to endure her mouth, her trying to get free dinners, and a host of other disrespectful behaviors. Your self-respect is way more important. These dudes that allow all of that to go on are the male version of hoes. They allow anything to go on to get attention. They allow women to constantly disrespect them just like a ho does. That's why these women are acting the way they are and doing all these disrespectful things... too many men have a 'ho mentality.' They let women run all over them and do anything to them in exchange for attention. Other people will do to you what you will allow them to do.
When it's said and done, it's all about self-responsibility. A lot of women are coming with bad behavior, but as a man, it's up to you to step up and check them on it and let them know that they can't bring that around you... and you have to back your words with actions. If she gets out of line, her opportunity gets cut. You cannot maintain respect if you don't back it with action.
I haven't been in this thread in perhaps a year or so but this shyt is so real and I just came home from a situation that exemplified it.
long story/rant. apologies in advance.
Just the other day I had just entered the checkout line at the grocery store when I caught my eye on this BAD dark skinned thing just comin in the store and goin to the hair products aisle. Mind you she had sweat pants and a whatever v shirt on but you could still see the big ol jello booty bouncing with each step and the big ol titty cleavage sandwhichin a thin waist and a very pretty face (w/o makeup). So i was like fukk it, i turn my cart around go up to where she was at lookin at products and hit her with whatever line about finding her cute and wanting to introduce myself, yadda yadda. She was receptive but she told me that she was seein someone and had a 3 month year old kid () . So whether she was bullshyttin or not I was already voicing my exit strategy on some 'well, i'll see ya around, peace' when she asked me where I worked b/c i was wearin a lanyard from my job (Id just came from work). She asked me if i worked at the store and i said nah and showed her that the lanyard was actually the name of this big time energy company that i worked for. Her eyes shot up and she talkin about how her best friend works in that same energy industry and she's the one who hooked her up with the current dude she's dating b/c the dude she had the baby with left her () and she'd been goin on dating sites trying to find someone with no luck, and she aint 'really' with the current dude cuz its been only 2 weeks and blah blah blah.
So at this point i'm lookin at her like.. ok, too many red flags... but ( @ me) she sweet as hell, comes across humble (or humbled), and that ass is very phat ().. so i said fukk it, i told her to exchange numbers wit me and we'll go grab dinner sometime to get to kno each other and shyt. She was down.
-----------
So the next day i hit her up like, aight lets go grab a bite to eat or whatever. She's like cool, i say what about chilis, she said she liked this one spot tho... so i google map it and i swear i only see like this burger place, and so i'm like whatever, cool. So we plan on meeting up at 9p and I text her like "ok so its in this location right?" and she txts back "nah, its in the mall" () I say.. aight. i'm thinkin the food court area. So i get there and i dont see the restaurant nor her so i call her like, ok where is it, where u at, i'm at the food court." She hits me with "no its right outside the mall, with the valet parking" I'm already thinkin "valet..? this bytch right here.." So turns out its this fancy lil restaurant where everything not an appetizer is basically 50-60 bucks minimum. appetizers started at 20, the small ass lil desert cakes are on some $80 tip and nothin but old chubby white people eating there.. and i'm lookin at this like "this bopper bytch think she slick... ".
So just as im figuring all this out, she arrives lookin straight video vixen instagram model status with the tight 'elegant stripper' (lol) lookin outfit, but im already too far gone with this. It became awkward cuz they asked if we had a reservation (i was like ), but they sat us down and they asked her if she wanted to try some new fancy ass drink and she was like "oh of course!" . They turn to me, i'm like: "water ". So waitress leaves and at that point bopper asks me, so this place is above ur level? on some borderline snide shyt but i kept my cool and said this wasn't what i was expectin, i dont kno shyt about you, so I thought we were hittin a burger place to get to kno each other (i had originally suggested chilis, so the place she said and that i googled seemed within the same 'type' so thats why i assumed what i did & didnt even occur to me to clarify b4 hand.. smh) . So we had a short back n forth about the name/directions but then she said well this is the type of place i go on all my first dates , that she dont do shyt like 'chilis', and the dude she was with b4 was a major producer and the guy before him an athlete, and she aint lowerin her standards for no one." "I aint living an ordinary life" she throws in there.
lol
So I got up and said "Good luck findin some baller then. but that producer just ditched u and ur barely 3 month old daughter, so keep that shyt in mind with them standards of urs' and I bounced. Didnt pay for shyt. i should've brought up how her ass admitted to scavenging on datin sites lookin for love and how shes a 'real estate agent' with no specified education (she had dodged that question the day we met) but wants to live the privileged life. But, at that point i was thinkin about gettin outta there and not about tryna start some ignorant lovenhiphop mess.
You did exactly what you were supposed to do. Obviously she's pulled that maneuver on a couple of men, so she felt comfortable trying that with you... but unlike them, you didn't go for it. Only thing is next time around, you can't let them women ever pick the restaurant because she'll take the most expensive option.
The process of decision making is hard for a lot of men in this day and age because there are so many choices and because men have never really been taught the root behind decision making. Let's talk about choosing where to take a woman out to eat for example. If she doesn't directly say where she wants to eat, most men will try to imagine in their heads where she'd like to eat or think about a place that might impress her. You ultimately cannot be confident in yourself because you are trying to read her mind and you will never really know what's on her mind, and second, you are looking for validation from her to feel positive about yourself. What if she didn't like the place? You'll feel bad about yourself and how you didn't choose the right place. This mindset of making decisions by looking for validation or mindreading is the opposite of being confident.
A better solution would be to develop your tastes and go where YOU want to go. Choose a place that you would have gone to even if she didn't come along. If she doesn't like it, who cares? That might be a sign that you two aren't compatible, and also, when going out with a woman, you don't want to waste time dealing with the women who are more concerned about where you're taking her. You want to spend time on those women who look at BEING WITH YOU as what ultimately matters, and who'd be just as happy going to Friday's as some upscale restaurant. It takes a while, but you have to condition yourself to not worry about what a woman likes or doesn't like. It's all about you going to somewhere you enjoy and letting her come along. Now, as you get to know her more and get more familiar with her tastes and you know she isn't there for the 'benefits package (aka free meals, etc.),' then you can know right off the bat what kind of places to take her when you feel it's time to 'treat her.'
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You see what I'm talking about? This dude is afraid to bring a woman into HIS own home that HE'S paying for cos he's scared his mommy will disapprove, despite the fact she's living there with a man she's not even married to herself. Sometimes, you can't even have tht your mother wouldn't take advantage of your weakness, that's the world we live in. Now if this dude was halk a fukking man, he would tell his mother that this is HIS house and he's bringing a woman there and if she doesn't like it, she can either tolerate it or she and her partner will have to find somewhere else to live. For all he knows, she might just admire the fact that he's finally grown some balls and even mellow down. Even if she refuses to have anything to do with him after that, so what? She wasn't much of a mother to begin with, so there's no real ultimate loss.
I've had the same thing happen to me breh. What really cheeses me the most though is when they say stuff like this after the fact. Like i got 0 fukks for your BS and then you go ahead and call me sensitive because of that? 
I usually cut them off once and for all the minute i hear something like this. 
) . So whether she was bullshyttin or not I was already voicing my exit strategy on some 'well, i'll see ya around, peace' when she asked me where I worked b/c i was wearin a lanyard from my job (Id just came from work). She asked me if i worked at the store and i said nah and showed her that the lanyard was actually the name of this big time energy company that i worked for. Her eyes shot up and she talkin about how her best friend works in that same energy industry and she's the one who hooked her up with the current dude she's dating b/c the dude she had the baby with left her (
).. so i said fukk it, i told her to exchange numbers wit me and we'll go grab dinner sometime to get to kno each other and shyt. She was down.
), but they sat us down and they asked her if she wanted to try some new fancy ass drink and she was like "oh of course!" . They turn to me, i'm like: "water 
, that she dont do shyt like 'chilis', and the dude she was with b4 was a major producer and the guy before him an athlete, and she aint lowerin her standards for no one." "I aint living an ordinary life" she throws in there.
