Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Nintendough]

I know we may be beefing or whatever but i want your opinion on this since you seem knowledgable. I was out with a girl i been seeing for a few weeks and we were walking while i read sports stats on my phone and some dude walked by and she said "wow he's cute" i gave no reaction. i noticed though through the corner of my eye as she said it she looked at me to see how i'd respond and that bugged me...I recently deduced that she was trying to get attention and was willing to play childish games and she was no longer worth my time. I deleted her number and have been ignoring her texts for about 4 days. My friends say i went too hard on her but alot of them i would consider simps...What y'all think?

You didn't do anything wrong in my opinion. It was a test and you gave the best reaction by not reacting at all when she looked at you.

 

[semtex]

Court date?

made some threats

 

[twan83]

Line in the sand if she's in a relationship and she goes to the club its time to drop her. There's nothing good at the club and people in relationships have no business there. This is one of those things that if you accept it you're headed down a slippery slope that probably leads to her fukking around on you.

I feel what your saying and all but i disagree to a extent. If her friend wants to go to the club one night then im cool but me saying she can't go when she really doesnt ever go makes it seem like your insecure though. Thats y i say its cool every so often.

Now as far as what she does there i know the risks of being in that environment but at the same time u gotta put trust in who you with and also feel like aint no other guy can treat her better than you

BUT
at the same time put in the back of your head that you wont put it past you that she aint doing something stupid. Cuz when it comes down to it

HERE IS THE REALITY
If you think preventing somebody going out to the club with her girls is gonna stop or prevent cheating YOUR WRONG.
They are gonna cheat whenever they want too at any given time
AND THATS UNPREVENTABLE ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME AND WHEN THEY GONNA DO IT.

Any relationship ive been in the female only went out to the club like ONCE every 3 months

 

[MikelArteta]

I feel what your saying and all but i disagree to a extent. If her friend wants to go to the club one night then im cool but me saying she can't go when she really doesnt ever go makes it seem like your insecure though. Thats y i say its cool every so often.

Now as far as what she does there i know the risks of being in that environment but at the same time u gotta put trust in who you with and also feel like aint no other guy can treat her better than you

BUT
at the same time put in the back of your head that you wont put it past you that she aint doing something stupid. Cuz when it comes down to it

HERE IS THE REALITY
If you think preventing somebody going out to the club with her girls is gonna stop or prevent cheating YOUR WRONG.
They are gonna cheat whenever they want too at any given time
AND THATS UNPREVENTABLE ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME AND WHEN THEY GONNA DO IT.

Any relationship ive been in the female only went out to the club like ONCE every 3 months

its not preventing someone who will cheat will cheat regardless, just that the environment of clubbing to me is not for someone who is in a relationship.

to me its like dating a girl and shes on a dating site just "looking for friends" or "here for the forums", maybe she is but i wont tolerate it, the same how as a man as me in a relationship, i would not go to a strip club to hang out the guys, even though I won't cheat, its disrespectful.


i have ground rules and as a chick you don't respect those rules or the door is over there

im not controlling anyones life, you want to club then i wont be in a relationship with you

 

[Nintendough]

I feel what your saying and all but i disagree to a extent. If her friend wants to go to the club one night then im cool but me saying she can't go when she really doesnt ever go makes it seem like your insecure though. Thats y i say its cool every so often.

Now as far as what she does there i know the risks of being in that environment but at the same time u gotta put trust in who you with and also feel like aint no other guy can treat her better than you

BUT
at the same time put in the back of your head that you wont put it past you that she aint doing something stupid. Cuz when it comes down to it

HERE IS THE REALITY
If you think preventing somebody going out to the club with her girls is gonna stop or prevent cheating YOUR WRONG.
They are gonna cheat whenever they want too at any given time
AND THATS UNPREVENTABLE ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME AND WHEN THEY GONNA DO IT.

Any relationship ive been in the female only went out to the club like ONCE every 3 months

Having standards isn't a sign of insecurity. When you give space for potential havoc, it opens up room for nonsense. Having these rules and standards is about personal value. If you refuse to bend when it comes to your rules and standards it forces people to come correct more often.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Another thing with women is use their game on them. Case in point...I use to deal with a woman and we was really cool.She calls me up one day and asks me "I need a favor"...and when I hear that my reaction is usually when MOST women want a favor 9 times out of 10 your going to have to go out of your way.She asks me flat out "Can you co sign this loan,I promise I will pay you back.I just aint get paid yet etc".....At this point im like .....before I said my response she immediately says "Nevermind forget it".I was going to switch the tables on her to see how far she really wanted to go,but she quickly back tracked. After that convo I cut her off. One day I saw her in the store walkng with a man and with her 2 kids...See women know what they are doing.Brings me to my next point....I dont care how fine she is let women handle their own financial business.They wanna be independent,well handle your independent bills and debt.Hate to say it....even when you are married,watch your $$$$. Still keep your OWN bank account or a "secret stash".Co signing a loan is a no-no. Not even for your own mom,sister,grandma.

 

[MikelArteta]

Another thing with women is use their game on them. Case in point...I use to deal with a woman and we was really cool.She calls me up one day and asks me "I need a favor"...and when I hear that my reaction is usually when MOST women want a favor 9 times out of 10 your going to have to go out of your way.She asks me flat out "Can you co sign this loan,I promise I will pay you back.I just aint get paid yet etc".....At this point im like .....before I said my response she immediately says "Nevermind forget it".I was going to switch the tables on her to see how far she really wanted to go,but she quickly back tracked. After that convo I cut her off. One day I saw her in the store walkng with a man and with her 2 kids...See women know what they are doing.Brings me to my next point....I dont care how fine she is let women handle their own financial business.They wanna be independent,well handle your independent bills and debt.Hate to say it....even when you are married,watch your $$$$. Still keep your OWN bank account or a "secret stash".Co signing a loan is a no-no. Not even for your own mom,sister,grandma.

id rather lend money and have it be gone than to cosign which can mess up your credit.

never feel bad about saying no to a womans favor, she has a long list of males at her disposal it wasd just your turn you say no she goes onto the next.

"chick texts me, i dunno how im going to make rent this month"

i say - wow that sucks, just got to balance your money, anyways you can't be kicked out for missing rent once.

 

[sixsixtwo]

Timeline For The Typical American Woman:

18-25 - College! Second time trying group sex, first video hits the Webz, first public acts, ONS, lots of "mistakes" get made. Get masters in some Lib Arts discipline!

25-32 - Career in HR! A couple bad boyfriends, a few ONS, a couple incidents of cheating on business trips, perhaps a stint as "the other woman" for one of her managers, bangs her way through the office talent, etc.

32-35 - Quest For Beta begins! At age 35 she decides she needs to meet a "quality" guy (oh, the lolz.) and pin him down quick so she can get a baby and a life of middle class comfort secured while still expressing her unique self and strong woman credentials though occasional cheating. Even though that stuff "just happened", a couple times.

42 - Divorce His Ass! Take the money and kids and run. If you can't come up with any reason just use ye ole "He was abusive! Always trying to control me!"

42+ - Cougar Town!

 

[kevm3]

Exactly, these women are 'equal' and 'grown, independent women'. Let them handle their own financial responsibilities like you said. Just like the recent situation with Malik, most women don't hit you up until they conveniently need a favor. They are gone for months, but a few days before they need something before you they 'pop up' and are extra friendly, buttering you up until the request comes in. Oh hey sweety, how have you been? It's been such a long time. I just wanted to catch up with you... bla bla bla... How have those ladies been treating you? Oh wow, that's a shame, you're any woman's dream. I got a quick question for you. Can you do me a favor?" If a woman asks you for a favor, let's be real, she's most likely highly interested in some other guy and messing with him. I don't know why this is, but just about every situation in which a guy was paying for his girl's school, she was cheating on him... You know the QUICKEST way to get your car wrecked or to have some other negro in it? That's right, loan it to a woman and let her drive it around. And those women you do a favor for? Be assured you won't be able to find her for a long time and she'll be avoiding you for the longest hoping you forget her not paying you back... and if you don't look like the type that would want to be paid back, she'll only hit you up sporadically for more favors. Being the 'favor buddy' of a woman is an absolute no-no. Co-signing for a female is definitely a no-no.

Man this is why this isn't 'common sense'. You would think you do a favor for someone and they appreciate it and would be willing to return the favor. With women, it doesn't work that way. You do a favor for them and they are more likely to return it with the cold shoulder or dismissive or even snake-like behavior.

Let's be real here. A lot of these women are cordial and half-way friendly with a bunch of dudes who they never really seem to be consistent with and then hit them out of the blue when they need something, aka favor buddy. In the meanwhile, they are spending all of that quality time with the men they actually desire. If she was really down to be your friend, she would have spent tons of time with you consistently without asking for favors.

 

[sixsixtwo]

 

[twan83]

Having standards isn't a sign on insecurity. When you give space for potential havoc, it opens up room for nonsense. Having these rules and standards is about personal value. If you refuse to bend when it comes to your rules and standards it forces people to come correct more often.

Never said standards are a sign of insecurity. I dont bend backwards for nobody. Me letting her go out to the club doesn't mean my standards are bad either. I look at it as her having some fun with her girls. The other bs that could happen can happen at any given time.

Giving space is also a sign of trust. That you trust her to do the right thing not the stupid shyt that most do.

My standards are hey you had friends before you met me go out and have fun just dont go make it a habit of going to the club. There are other things she can do which is true just dont make clubbing a habit. To this day i never had that problem with any female i have ever dated.

Now whether or not she did something disrespectful while she was out i dont know but that can be applied at a female at work or at her girls house.

The thing is u dont dwell or should'nt dwell on is she ACTING UP if she doesn't give you a reason too PERIOD. its stress you dont need.

 

[kevm3]

^ that's exactly what she said (just to have a good time because it's going to be her birthday, and she always wanted to visit TX) and that's EXACTLY what I thought too. Like she probably met some married dude and is going to get the brakes beat off her. I'm not trying to be a rest haven. I already told her she's not allowed to bring ANY dudes to my crib, and she is going to have to rent her own car because I have my own stuff going on and I'm not trying to be her tour guide. She was like we're hardly going to be there at all, just to sleep. But still I feel like I'm in a "haze funk" like why did I agree to letting her stay with me for 3 days?

You got the right notion in your mind man. Women do these kind of things. Is this a woman that stays in contact with you regularly and is genuinely a friend, or is she the 'cool woman' who sporadically hits you up, stays around, acts friendly for a few days, and then she disappears for weeks or months? I'm thinking the latter... and right before she asked for that favor, she was the sweetest woman in the world, buttering you up, making you feel like you were the bomb beforehand.

lol, she told you exactly what it was when she said 'we're hardly going to be there at all, just to sleep.'Oh so you can come all the way out my way and it wasn't much of a discussion of, 'can you show me around? I really want to go out there to ATL and chill with you, my long-time friend.' I bet she never really brought up a situation like we really should get to hanging around... I really want to hang with you. A woman that was really either interested in you or a true friend would have been discussing coming to your town to chill with YOU long before she ever came through. A woman looking to hit one of her favor buddies up for something sporadically appears out of nowhere. The fact that she ALREADY has destinations in mind, and I'm sure none of them involved you, that would be occupying so much of her time that she wouldn't be at your crib much at all lets you know what it is.

More likely what happened was she was chopping it with some guy that she wants to beat it up and she's afraid to go to a new city by herself and deal with this guy and city on her lonesome so she's taking her homegirl with her... then it popped in her mind while talking to her friend, oh hey, I won't have to pay rent because I know my 'boy' Malik who I haven't talked to in months...I can ask 'this dude I know' if I can stay out there at his place so I won't have to pay any hotel fee.

And when you really think about it, you see how messed up it is. Would you ask one of your real 'homegirls' to stay at her place while you hardly saw her because 'you'd be out so much'? Would you put her in the uncomfortable situation of bringing along a homeboy she doesn't know? To top it off, she asked if she could sleep in the bed with LOL... wow. Would you really go hit a homegirl up who may have a bit of feelings for you just to use her place so you can go smash another woman? This is why a man got to be hard on these females man. You be a sweetheart, they will use you for a favor and toss you to the side.

You did the right thing at least in setting strict boundaries, but you got pulled in by that smooth seduction game and possible fear of shaming (ie she been nice to me, I don't want to be mean and turn her down). Next time you know what the game is though.

 

[twan83]

Having standards isn't a sign on insecurity. When you give space for potential havoc, it opens up room for nonsense. Having these rules and standards is about personal value. If you refuse to bend when it comes to your rules and standards it forces people to come correct more often.

Also what i was saying bout standards is nothing wrong if you dont want them going to club thats how your morales and standards are and she should respect that

But to say you aren't gonna let them cuz you worried bout some other dude messing with your girl is a sign of INSECURITY. Instead trust your woman respects you and loves you that she wont do nothing disrespectful too you while she is out. If you think preventing them from going to club gonna stop that NONSENSE OF CHEATING your wrong it can happen any given time.

 

[MikelArteta]

Also what i was saying bout standards is nothing wrong if you dont want them going to club thats how your morales and standards are and she should respect that

But to say you aren't gonna let them cuz you worried bout some other dude messing with your girl is a sign of INSECURITY. Instead trust your woman respects you and loves you that she wont do nothing disrespectful too you while she is out. If you think preventing them from going to club gonna stop that NONSENSE OF CHEATING your wrong it can happen any given time.

Why would a female in a relationship need to go clubbing though?

 

[kevm3]

Ay man this goes out to some of you youngn's right here. I made 2 posts in a row on this subject, and this is my 3rd, but this is a point I need to absolutely hammer home. There is a huge difference between a woman that is friendly and one that is your friend. A friendly woman is cool, but only pops up now and then and uses that veneer of friendship to ask you for favors and if you don't give it to her, she will 'shame you', aka I thought we were cool. Oh it's like that. What I'm likely thinking and might say if she presses me too much: "Man girl get yo butt out of here." A true friend is around CONSISTENTLY and hardly ever asks for favors unless they actually need on. Their first concern when dealing with you is actually hanging with you. Be VERY careful about keeping 'friendly women,' aka 'cool women' around. They pretty much exist in your life to use you and if you don't go for it, they will try to make you look like the bad guy and then get in the wind. Just chalk that up as another user who got the boot.