Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[kevm3]

Ay man this goes out to some of you youngn's right here. I made 2 posts in a row on this subject, and this is my 3rd, but this is a point I need to absolutely hammer home. There is a huge difference between a woman that is friendly and one that is your friend. A friendly woman is cool, but only pops up now and then and uses that veneer of friendship to ask you for favors and if you don't give it to her, she will 'shame you', aka I thought we were cool. Oh it's like that. What I'm likely thinking and might say if she presses me too much: "Man girl get yo butt out of here." A true friend is around CONSISTENTLY and hardly ever asks for favors unless they actually need on. Their first concern when dealing with you is actually hanging with you. Be VERY careful about keeping 'friendly women,' aka 'cool women' around. They pretty much exist in your life to use you and if you don't go for it, they will try to make you look like the bad guy and then get in the wind. Just chalk that up as another user who got the boot.

 

[twan83]

Why would a female in a relationship need to go clubbing though?

Reincar in a sense she shouldn't have too which i understand where you are coming from and agree with.

If she wanna drink she can do at her friends house or her own place.
If she wanna listen to music and dance my above response applies to that also

But if her friend wants to go out and drink and dance cuz they dont hang out as much and wants to spend time in that way then im like thats cool have fun with her but be respectful to our relationship is all im asking and saying.

 

[Nintendough]

Never said standards are a sign of insecurity. I dont bend backwards for nobody. Me letting her go out to the club doesn't mean my standards are bad either. I look at it as her having some fun with her girls. The other bs that could happen can happen at any given time.

Giving space is also a sign of trust. That you trust her to do the right thing not the stupid shyt that most do.

My standards are hey you had friends before you met me go out and have fun just dont go make it a habit of going to the club. There are other things she can do which is true just dont make clubbing a habit. To this day i never had that problem with any female i have ever dated.

Now whether or not she did something disrespectful while she was out i dont know but that can be applied at a female at work or at her girls house.

The thing is u dont dwell or should'nt dwell on is she ACTING UP if she doesn't give you a reason too PERIOD. its stress you dont need.

Giving space is a great for the man and the woman but what does she need to be at a club for? What good is waiting in such an environment? If she wants to do something that is appropriate such as going to watch a movie or enjoying a meal with friends then thats fine.

 

[twan83]

Giving space is a great for the man and the woman but what does she need to be at a club for? What good is waiting in such an environment? If she wants to do something that is appropriate such as going to watch a movie or enjoy a meal with friends then thats fine.

Co sign 100% i wasn't saying what you said was wrong i was just saying just my opinion on how i do things and my suggestion on the matter.

Do i think she should be at the club? no

Does it bother me? no

I do prefer a female not to go but at the same time if she wants to go im ok with it as long as it aint a habit

example my wife went to the club a total of 3 times only last year.

all 3 were for a birthday party

 

[You_Ugly_on_Skype]

Some of the realest stories on dealing with women are in the Bible. Samson got a little too laid back and started telling Delilah his secrets because he was entranced by her seduction. Guess what happened? She snitched his weakness out and got him killed. Guess what happens if you, as a man, start laying back and telling your woman your secrets and weaknesses? That's right, sooner or later she's going to slam that right in your face.

Adam and Eve's story is twofold. Firstly, women like the forbidden fruit. And secondly, it shows what happens when you go following up behind women. If Adam would have stood his ground as a man and said, "Look, I'm not going to do that. God told us to leave that alone and there will be repercussions behind not listening," we'd still be in paradise right now. You let a woman lead you and you're headed for self-destruction. You must be the leader as a man. In regards to the forbidden fruit point, it alludes to women wanting what they can't have. Why do you think when you get a woman, all of a sudden these other women start coming out of the woodworks wanting you? You're now that forbidden fruit that she shouldn't be able to have. Why do you think they keep gay guys buzzing around them and are in love with them? Because they can't have them. When it comes down to it, what really keeps a woman interested is not in HAVING what she says she wants, but rather the journey of her attempting to have something she is forbidden to have or can't have. This is why women say they want nice guys, but go for the so called 'bad-boys.' The bad boys don't allow themselves to be controlled or 'had'. THis is why when you first deal with a woman and you're cool and nonchalant, she is on her absolute best behavior with you, but once she 'has' you, whether it be in marriage or some serious commitment and starts getting comfortable, her whole personality can change for the worse. The key is to never be owned, had, controlled or led by women.

Came in here mention this same thing about adam and eve. Adam let eve do the decision making when it came to the forbidden fruit, fast forward to now and we're all in a situation that could've been avoided.

Keep in mind that they were both perfect utilizing 100% of their brain, but still Adam fell victim to the Feminine wiles of Eve. This is a very potent lesson for us to learn from. Since we're not perfect we should be even more inclined to take heed.

 

[MikelArteta]

Came in here mention this same thing about adam and eve. Adam let eve do the decision making when it came to the forbidden fruit, fast forward to know and we're all in a situation that could've been avoided.

Keep in mind that they were both perfect utilizing 100% of their brain, but still Adam fell victim to the Feminine wiles of Eve. This is a very potent lesson for us to learn from. Since we're not perfect we should be even more inclined to take head.

and it was the first story in the bible

and it goes on and on trusting bad women (samson), conspiring (ananias and saul)

 

[winb83]

I feel what your saying and all but i disagree to a extent. If her friend wants to go to the club one night then im cool but me saying she can't go when she really doesnt ever go makes it seem like your insecure though. Thats y i say its cool every so often.

Now as far as what she does there i know the risks of being in that environment but at the same time u gotta put trust in who you with and also feel like aint no other guy can treat her better than you

BUT
at the same time put in the back of your head that you wont put it past you that she aint doing something stupid. Cuz when it comes down to it

HERE IS THE REALITY
If you think preventing somebody going out to the club with her girls is gonna stop or prevent cheating YOUR WRONG.
They are gonna cheat whenever they want too at any given time
AND THATS UNPREVENTABLE ITS JUST A MATTER OF TIME AND WHEN THEY GONNA DO IT.

Any relationship ive been in the female only went out to the club like ONCE every 3 months

The insecurity trap. A woman in a relationship at the club is like a pastor at a whore house. Even if there's a justifiable reason it just don't look right. If I'm in a relationship and one of the boys invites me to the club I'll pass on it because I don't wanna display that type of questionable behavior to my woman.

certain things you give up by default if you're in a relationship. The club is one of them. People go to the club because there's people of the opposite sex there point blank. If your woman wanna go hang with her friends they can do that and not have to go to a club.

you don't tell her she can't go either you tell her ok fine you go to the club if you want to and I'm gonna re-evaluate where you and I stand and maybe we should start seeing other people or you tell her to go ahead and if she goes the relationship is over.

if you tolerate her going to the club even once that means its ok for her to go to the club. It means that's acceptable behavior to you.

people in relationships have no business at the club.

 

[winb83]

its not preventing someone who will cheat will cheat regardless, just that the environment of clubbing to me is not for someone who is in a relationship.

to me its like dating a girl and shes on a dating site just "looking for friends" or "here for the forums", maybe she is but i wont tolerate it, the same how as a man as me in a relationship, i would not go to a strip club to hang out the guys, even though I won't cheat, its disrespectful.


i have ground rules and as a chick you don't respect those rules or the door is over there

im not controlling anyones life, you want to club then i wont be in a relationship with you

It's a level of disrespect like you said. you can't stop a cheater from cheating but the things you accept can directly lead to cheating. If you let your woman run wild and do shyt she knows she shouldn't be doing her respect for you will erode and once she loses respect for you she'll likely cheat by default cause some other man is gonna get in her ear. A man she respects and if she don't respect you she'll fukk him.

club thing is something you should bring up on your own if yall get serious. You just tell her on your own if she ever ask about it or if you ever find out she went yall are through.

 

[You_Ugly_on_Skype]

Can we get some different red flag situations up here? Cuz I be slipping sometimes, realizing that sh1t 2, 3 weeks after they happen.

I was out by a lake with this one girl, real peaceful... out the blue she asked me what I would do if someone try'd to kill us here, I gave her the and made a joke, if someone bout to kill us Imma throw u infront of him and run lol... Later I found out she hand a crazy ex stalking her ass

Whenever a woman's asks you a question that seems strange or from out of left field, there is usually some motive for it. It may not be as extreme as this story, but, be mindful, there always is a motive to benefit her and only her.

I had this one chick who was a neighbor of mine at the time, ask me how I felt about abortion, mind you, I'm outside throwing out the trash and she's just walking from her car to go inside, I told her how I felt about it. I thought nothing of it, and went on my merry way. She knew I worked with computers so the next day she calls me over to her house to look at her "computer box" because it was running slow and giving her all kinds of problems. She met me at the door with only a T-shirt on smelling sweeter than a plate of yams with extra syrup, body all oiled up. Her nice bubble butt peeking out from under the t-shirt.

In my mind was like and but my facial expression was

So I asked, "were is the box with all these problems?" I see it and point to it and say: "over ther right?" she says: "no, not that box," she then grabs my hand that I was using to point in the direction of her PC, pulls it down between her legs, gets on her tip toes and whispers in my ear: "this box"

At this point, my second soldier is ready to breakthrough from behind my jeans zipper, then a family member calls my phone frantically screaming and hollering saying they need me to come and get them ASAP because some mask gunmen just robbed the fast food joint where they were getting lunch, and the person who she was with left her there while the robbery was in progress.

So I told my neighbor I had to go. Lord knows I been wanted to hit that, cuz she was so sexy . Anyway

Fast forward a few weeks later. I found out that my neighbor had a boyfriend, was a few weeks pregnant for him, he didn't want the baby but she did. He gave her the money to get an abortion and told her if she didn't go through with it he would leave her to raise the child on her own.

So basically that left me to conclude that she wanted me to hit it, so she could claim that the baby is mine. She wanted to know if I agreed with abortion or if I didn't agree so that when she came to me with the 'good news' that she was pregnant I wouldn't tell her to get an abortion like her boyfriend did.

 

[Malikthegod]

UPDATE:

Well the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was letting these chicks get a free ride. So I already said they can come and chick is texting me like "I'm so excited!!"

So then I'm like you know what, I been thinking, you don't have to cook and clean while you are here. Just give me $50 each and you'll be good.

She's like NO. That's NOT what WE'RE going to do. I asked you as a friend can WE stay, I can't believe you're asking me for money? WTH?? If you're going to act IMMATURE about the situation you should've just said no!

And I'm like, I had some time to think it over and I changed my mind. It seems like you're getting the most out of this bargain. Don't try to call me immature, just because I came to my senses. You should've just asked if you BOTH can stay at my spot initially so I could've just said no and that would be that. You knew what you were doing.

Then she went on and on about how she was so offended that I would ask her for a measly $50, when she would let me and one of my homeboys crash at her spot if we asked

this is the best part though:

I brought up how when I went back to ATL for memorial day weekend I was like "Yo I'm town, let's link" And she was all "Maybe. I'm sorta busy, I'm moving" So I'm like when I come up there it's a bunch of excuses but you expect me to bend over backward for you and some STRANGER? Sounds like a "Friend of convenience to me" and I don't like that.

She's like at the time I was busy moving or else it would've been different, you're wearing your emotions on your shoulder, I would expect that from a woman, not you. So can we stay with you or what?



Just like it has been stated and as we've seeing when females come in and try to derail this thread, when you don't allow a woman to manipulate you she'll call you soft, weak, feminine, gay, all kinds of names to challenge your manhood. DON'T FALL FOR IT BREH's.

 

[Tony_Siegel]

Timeline For The Typical American Woman:

18-25 - College! Second time trying group sex, first video hits the Webz, first public acts, ONS, lots of "mistakes" get made. Get masters in some Lib Arts discipline!

25-32 - Career in HR! A couple bad boyfriends, a few ONS, a couple incidents of cheating on business trips, perhaps a stint as "the other woman" for one of her managers, bangs her way through the office talent, etc.

32-35 - Quest For Beta begins! At age 35 she decides she needs to meet a "quality" guy (oh, the lolz.) and pin him down quick so she can get a baby and a life of middle class comfort secured while still expressing her unique self and strong woman credentials though occasional cheating. Even though that stuff "just happened", a couple times.

42 - Divorce His Ass! Take the money and kids and run. If you can't come up with any reason just use ye ole "He was abusive! Always trying to control me!"

42+ - Cougar Town!

this can't be life!

 

[winb83]

UPDATE:

Well the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was letting these chicks get a free ride. So I already said they can come and chick is texting me like "I'm so excited!!"

So then I'm like you know what, I been thinking, you don't have to cook and clean while you are here. Just give me $50 each and you'll be good.

She's like NO. That's NOT what WE'RE going to do. I asked you as a friend can WE stay, I can't believe you're asking me for money? WTH?? If you're going to act IMMATURE about the situation you should've just said no!

And I'm like, I had some time to think it over and I changed my mind. It seems like you're getting the most out of this bargain. Don't try to call me immature, just because I came to my senses. You should've just asked if you BOTH can stay at my spot initially so I could've just said no and that would be that. You knew what you were doing.

Then she went on and on about how she was so offended that I would ask her for a measly $50, when she would let me and one of my homeboys crash at her spot if we asked

this is the best part though:

I brought up how when I went back to ATL for memorial day weekend I was like "Yo I'm town, let's link" And she was all "Maybe. I'm sorta busy, I'm moving" So I'm like when I come up there it's a bunch of excuses but you expect me to bend over backward for you and some STRANGER? Sounds like a "Friend of convenience to me" and I don't like that.

She's like at the time I was busy moving or else it would've been different, you're wearing your emotions on your shoulder, I would expect that from a woman, not you. So can we stay with you or what?



Just like it has been stated and as we've seeing when females come in and try to derail this thread, when you don't allow a woman to manipulate you she'll call you soft, weak, feminine, gay, all kinds of names to challenge your manhood. DON'T FALL FOR IT BREH's.

Tell that bytch if she don't wanna pay you $50 for the whole trip she can pay a hotel that plus some a night. fukk that free ride shyt.

 

[kevm3]

There you go bruh. You stepped it up and handled it like you should. These females are all your buddies and pals when it comes to getting a favor from you, but when you need something from them, they are busy, will keep on avoiding you, and talking to her friend about how she got a guy that won't get the hint and keeps bothering her.

She wasn't THAT busy she couldn't have at least stopped by and kicked it with you for an hour when you asked to link up. Now if you two were genuine friends, just constantly having conversations every other day with no favors ever coming up and if she didn't flake on you and the conversation went, me and my homegirl want to come to the ATL to chill with you... let's hang out. If it was all about chilling and hanging with you, yeah, I could see going for it. That's a completely different story. She's genuinely interested in interacting with you. She's talking about coming through, snuck her friend in on the sneak and basically said she wasn't going to be at your house much. Just over there sleeping. She got all this time now when it benefits her, but not much of that time came with spending it with you... and guess what happened when you said no... that's right, there came the entitled shaming. What makes these women so slick with it is they will pretend to be buddy buddy to use YOUR resources so they can deal with ANOTHER man. You let them stay and she's getting banged out by whoever told her to come down there and she's ringing your doorbell at 3 in the morning or calling you on the phone talking about can you pick me up? Let her push your whip while you're gone and she's driving that to the other man's house, letting him ride or possibly push it as well... I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up wrecking it.

And what would have happened at the end of the night? "What did you do today?" "Oh, I was just at my friend's house and chilling with my girl..." and then she'll try to slink in that bed with you after having put in more work than a Mexican. Sounded like she was trying to use you as a rest haven literally. lol naw mane, that ain't going down. You just gave yourself a bunch of peace of mind by cutting that short. If we on some 'friendship' level, it's going to be genuine friendship. No friend benefits unless you live up to the friendship mantra and that is by showing you've been down for me throughout time. No popping up and being cool and disappearing and expecting benefits.

And let me warn ya'll brothas about something. ANY time a woman just 'pops up out of nowhere' with something, it's going to be negative, whether that's a favor, one of those 'we need to talk sessions', or asking some seemingly innocent question that'll have you thinking what in the world? We call those women pop-ups and we don't deal with pop-ups. Turn your ad block on.

 

[kevm3]

Whenever a woman's asks you a question that seems strange or from out of left field, there is usually some motive for it. It may not be as extreme as this story, but, be mindful, there always is a motive to benefit her and only her.

I had this one chick who was a neighbor of mine at the time, ask me how I felt about abortion, mind you, I'm outside throwing out the trash and she's just walking from her car to go inside, I told her how I felt about it. I thought nothing of it, and went on my merry way. She knew I worked with computers so the next day she calls me over to her house to look at her "computer box" because it was running slow and giving her all kinds of problems. She met me at the door with only a T-shirt on smelling sweeter than a plate of yams, body all oiled up. Her nice bubble butt peeking out from under the t-shirt.

In my mind was like and but my facial expression was

So I asked, "were is the box with all these problems?" I see it and point to it and say: "over ther right?" she says: "no, not that box," she then grabs my hand that I was using to point in the direction of her PC, pulls it down between her legs, gets on her tip toes and whispers in my ear: "this box"

At this point, my second soldier is ready to breakthrough from behind my jeans zipper, then a family member calls my phone frantically screaming and hollering saying they need me to come and get them ASAP because some mask gunmen just robbed the fast food joint, where they were getting lunch, and the person who she was with left her there while the robbery was in progress.

So I told my neighbor I had to go. Lord knows I been wanted to hit that, cuz she was so sexy. Anyway

Fast forward a few weeks later. I found out that my neighbor had a boyfriend, was a few weeks pregnant for him, he didn't want the baby but she did. He gave her the money to get an abortion and told her if she didn't go through with it he would leave her to raise the child on her own.

So basically that left me to conclude that she wanted me to hit it, so she could claim that the baby is mine. She wanted to know if I agreed with abortion or if I didn't agree so that when she came to me with the 'good news' that she was pregnant I wouldn't tell her to get an abortion like her boyfriend did.

Man that's so sick with it... and these fellas out chea talking about just trust the ladies. This woman was about to WILLINGLY pin 18 years of child support on you and deceive you and have your emotions twisted up, thinking that's your child. But hey fellas, just go out there and trust her. Just believe what she says and treat her like a lady.

Whenever a woman just 'pops up' with any kind of suggestion, get away from that immediately. Some sort of manipulation or deception is involved.

 

[T-K-G]

UPDATE:

Well the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was letting these chicks get a free ride. So I already said they can come and chick is texting me like "I'm so excited!!"

So then I'm like you know what, I been thinking, you don't have to cook and clean while you are here. Just give me $50 each and you'll be good.

She's like NO. That's NOT what WE'RE going to do. I asked you as a friend can WE stay, I can't believe you're asking me for money? WTH?? If you're going to act IMMATURE about the situation you should've just said no!

And I'm like, I had some time to think it over and I changed my mind. It seems like you're getting the most out of this bargain. Don't try to call me immature, just because I came to my senses. You should've just asked if you BOTH can stay at my spot initially so I could've just said no and that would be that. You knew what you were doing.

Then she went on and on about how she was so offended that I would ask her for a measly $50, when she would let me and one of my homeboys crash at her spot if we asked

this is the best part though:

I brought up how when I went back to ATL for memorial day weekend I was like "Yo I'm town, let's link" And she was all "Maybe. I'm sorta busy, I'm moving" So I'm like when I come up there it's a bunch of excuses but you expect me to bend over backward for you and some STRANGER? Sounds like a "Friend of convenience to me" and I don't like that.

She's like at the time I was busy moving or else it would've been different, you're wearing your emotions on your shoulder, I would expect that from a woman, not you. So can we stay with you or what?



Just like it has been stated and as we've seeing when females come in and try to derail this thread, when you don't allow a woman to manipulate you she'll call you soft, weak, feminine, gay, all kinds of names to challenge your manhood. DON'T FALL FOR IT BREH's.

the second she asked "so can we stay with your or what?" i woulda responded :


"aye str8 up............if you come over here with yo lil friend im givin yall the hands "

I always decline the first favor any girl asks me, just to see how they react with not gettin what they want..


it's saved alot of time