Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[kevm3]

To Kind Gentleman, Rein, C. Holla and other believers of Jesus

I often find that in this day and age that God has separated many who follow Him from unscrupulous women. It is the same with women of God and unscrupulous men. I've found many followers of Jesus have found themselves single in this day and age. I've been pulled away many times and believe God is telling me, do not focus on the things of this world, but focus on ME. It brings to mind this verse where Jesus states:

Matthew 6:33
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Seek the kingdom of God and righteousness FIRST, and all these things shall be added unto you. This coincides with the talk of principles, but more than that, not our own principles, but GOD'S principles FIRST. Righteousness FIRST.

The Bible also says we cannot serve two masters. You will love the one and hate the other. Jesus was specifically referring to money, but this also applies to women. In many cases in my past dealings, I've allowed women to be my 'masters'. Not necessarily in the sense that they controlled my every move, but rather that I would seek to please them first ahead of God and would do things to please them even if it went against what God commanded and would try to reconcile after the fact. This is what I learned to be Adamic nature, wherein Adam elevated the woman, Eve ahead of God and was thus led to destruction. How many times have we elevated women ahead of God only to have the same result? How often did we flee from God in order to please the woman and it ended in deceit and destruction?

Thus, we have to seek God's ways first, and then all of these things will be added unto us, including the right woman. For what is it really to have a woman with you who does not truly follow God's principles? What is it to have a woman who cheats, steals, lies and engages in other deceptions? That is someone who will cause nothing but chaos. So count it a blessing that God has removed those women who did not bring us closer to God and who God did not intend for us, but rather we sought with our own knowledge.

I find that with all the knowledge, it means nothing... for the true driving force in a human is his or her heart. To deal with women using manipulation, deceit and mind control is not the way to go, but rather to deal with the woman God has presented for us IS.

Isaiah 5:
21 Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and prudent and shrewd in their own sight!

Therefore I find it of utmost importance to denounce the things of this world and any master other than Jesus and God will add to us all things necessary, including the right woman. Count it also a blessing that God removed those women when He did, for they may wasted time, taken up resources or inflicted pain, but we were not destroyed.

 

[The_Coli's_Reckoning]

This thread has already helped me with females... Good shut brehs..

 

[ineedsleep212]

Yo can somebody tackle the topic of women and their BS games like texting or regular conversation? I was listening to some old Black Philip Show podcasts and I hate feeling like I gotta be up on some BS underlying conversation technique chicks use to say stuff, when meaning some other shyt. Kinda like in one of the episodes when Patrice O'neal talks about a chick he had and her asking him about what side of the bed he wants. I'm only asking this cuz my friend got me hot right now and whether its me failing or him reading ish. Like how am I supposed to decipher a joke and sly way of suggestion.

Basically texted me some ish like my friend knows about some *insert weird kinda party thing I never heard about or knew about in my life* if youd rather do that lol" after having planned to maybe watch a movie *shrug*.

I'm assuming this is a joke cuz I'm like wtf is that in my mind and i respond like *insert weird party thing* what lol. i dunno about that. and she hit me back with a text basically like just kidding.

And then is like i cant meet up later after a few hours cuz of some BS.

Games son games.....



One thing I'm gonna really do now is limit my texting like a muhfugga cuz I think Reincar said it was a BS form of communication and I'm like now.

 

[Dooby]

The more comfortable you are with being alone, the less likely a female that comes into your life is going to hurt you with her actions. When you feel more disappointed than heartbroken, that is when you know that you are comfortable with being alone. Hurt comes from putting too much stock in somebody else. And the less hurt you are, the easier it is for you to make logical decisions and move on. Never get yourself to believe that the woman you are with will never disappoint you.

This is false. People being more comfortable with being alone, have lesser options, therefore whenever someone does come around in their lives, changing it for the better, the loss will be even greater because they have no one else to rebound to.

Ones that are comfortable alone are only in that position because they were forced to be alone based on their character or situation.

We are social beings by nature so one being "comfortable being alone" subliminally wishes the very opposite.

 

[kevm3]

Yo can somebody tackle the topic of women and their BS games like texting or regular conversation? I was listening to some old Black Philip Show podcasts and I hate feeling like I gotta be up on some BS underlying conversation technique chicks use to say stuff, when meaning some other shyt. Kinda like in one of the episodes when Patrice O'neal talks about a chick he had and her asking him about what side of the bed he wants. I'm only asking this cuz my friend got me hot right now and whether its me failing or him reading ish. Like how am I supposed to decipher a joke and sly way of suggestion.

Basically texted me some ish like my friend knows about some *insert weird kinda party thing I never heard about or knew about in my life* if youd rather do that lol" after having planned to maybe watch a movie *shrug*.

I'm assuming this is a joke cuz I'm like wtf is that in my mind and i respond like *insert weird party thing* what lol. i dunno about that. and she hit me back with a text basically like just kidding.

And then is like i cant meet up later after a few hours cuz of some BS.

Games son games.....



One thing I'm gonna really do now is limit my texting like a muhfugga cuz I think Reincar said it was a BS form of communication and I'm like now.

If someone requires you to play games in order to deal with them, do not deal with them. Stay simple and truthful.

 

[ineedsleep212]

If someone requires you to play games in order to deal with them, do not deal with them. Stay simple and truthful.

For real.

To be honest though, when my friend explained it to me for this situation, I saw exactly what he meant and what I didn't see at the moment when I read said text. It wasn't really a game, but more like the manner in which it was said confused me for some reason. I think it goes back to texting not being a good form of communication.

 

[winb83]

This is false. People being more comfortable with being alone, have lesser options, therefore whenever someone does come around in their lives, changing it for the better, the loss will be even greater because they have no one else to rebound to.

Ones that are comfortable alone are only in that position because they were forced to be alone based on their character or situation.

We are social beings by nature so one being "comfortable being alone" subliminally wishes the very opposite.

When you're comfortable not being in a relationship you're less likely to put up with bullshyt. When you aren't comfortable being alone you become a prisoner of bad relationships I know this first hand because when I was uncomfortable being alone I stayed with people in bad situations that I would never do now.

we may be social creatures or rather some of us but that doesn't mean you have to feel as if you have to have someone relationship wise.

once you become comfortable being single women loose any leverage they have on you because your attitude there's the door and I'm cool being single so goodbye.

 

[winb83]

tom leykis

i don't agree with Leykis on treating women like shyt but I do agree on holding people responsible for themselves and not letting emotion enter your decision making process when dealing with women.

as a man I think its useful to learn how to experience emotions let them wash over you and pass then when you become clear minded make your decision. Emotions do not care what's in your best interest all they care about is their primal and single minded desire to be satisfied.

 

[MikelArteta]

This is false. People being more comfortable with being alone, have lesser options, therefore whenever someone does come around in their lives, changing it for the better, the loss will be even greater because they have no one else to rebound to.

Ones that are comfortable alone are only in that position because they were forced to be alone based on their character or situation.

We are social beings by nature so one being "comfortable being alone" subliminally wishes the very opposite.

Im Comfortable not being In a relationship, it's sad you equate atone being single to loneliness.

I don't need a woman to make me feel "complete".

 

[Sharp]

This is false. People being more comfortable with being alone, have lesser options, therefore whenever someone does come around in their lives, changing it for the better, the loss will be even greater because they have no one else to rebound to.

Ones that are comfortable alone are only in that position because they were forced to be alone based on their character or situation.

We are social beings by nature so one being "comfortable being alone" subliminally wishes the very opposite.

I respectfully disagree. Dependency is a learned trait, not hereditary or genetic.

Being comfortable being alone does not mean that you desire to be alone. It simply means that you are okay with being by yourself, that you don't need another person to complete you. Expecting others to provide you happiness and comfort is depending on a variable you have no control over.

Remember there's a difference between being "comfortable" and "preferring" to be alone.

And it does indeed take situations to get you comfortable to being alone, as it is also a learned behavior. Me personally, and I'm sure my brethren would agree that because of this comfort we will not jump at the first woman who gives us play or shows us attention. We will not tolerate disrespect just because we don't want to be alone. Losing the fear of being alone provides clarity and allows you to think logically instead of emotionally when dealing with opposite sex.

 

[Malikthegod]

Met this chick on saturday, been texting since Monday
Yesterday I say "I'm off work, driving home. Call me in 20"
She goes "Just call me when you get settled in"


The old me would've called without hesitation, and even rationalized why I did "It made sense for me to call her because she wouldn't have known if I was home"

 

[Seth Brundle]

@ the gems.

 

[Ohene]

This is false. People being more comfortable with being alone, have lesser options, therefore whenever someone does come around in their lives, changing it for the better, the loss will be even greater because they have no one else to rebound to.

Ones that are comfortable alone are only in that position because they were forced to be alone based on their character or situation.

We are social beings by nature so one being "comfortable being alone" subliminally wishes the very opposite.

Yup. It's a shame but I agree with this and it applies to me

I even said earlier the only reason i feel like I am able to stay somewhat aflot is due to the fact that being an introvert I've been in this kinda predicament the majority of my life. I can deal with it sure. But I dont know if comfortable is the word. Cause there are certain times where it feels like you gotta fight through shyt. I thought about it and its like after work....I dont know if I said a word out loud the whole night. Not even to my dad when he drove me home from the subway station. You cant possibly be comfortable in a state of solitary confinement where basically your only interaction with the outside world comes from work.

Cause it be times where a man might go days, weeks without having anyone contact him. It makes you start to question your existence and that shyt will get to you eventually brehs whether you like it or not.

 

[MikelArteta]

This sums it up brehs!

"Solitude is strength; to depend on the presence of the crowd is weakness. The man who needs a mob to nerve him is much more alone than he imagines." Paul Brunton

"Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude." Arthur Schopenhauer

What is the difference between solitude and loneliness? Imagine in your head two men, living alone out in the woods, one is experiencing solitude, the other loneliness, now can you tell me what is the difference between the two men are? Their physical and external environments are exactly the same, their physical selves are exactly the same, the only difference is in their mindset.

A person who is experiencing loneliness feels that way because he gains personal validation and defines himself through interactions with others. A person who is alone is someone who is by himself and is still worried about what others think. His self-esteem, happiness and self worth is derived from external factors. All happiness that is dependent on external forces or other people is temporary and illusionary and will only lead in dissappointment.

A person who is experiencing solitude feels that way because he gains personal validation and defines himself through his own set of personal beliefs and values. He enjoys his own company, he has learned to appreciate the joy of being yourself, by yourself. His self-esteem, happiness and self worth is derived from internal factors e.g. if he values such things as honor and judges himself to be dishonorable he will change himself for his own benefit and to be at be at peace with himself rather then doing so to please others.


Made to feel broken
"He is his own best friend, and takes delight in privacy whereas the man of no virtue or ability is his own worst enemy and is afraid of solitude." - Aristotle

“Love is a serious mental disease.” - Plato

How did men get this way? easy, men were made to feel broken or incomplete when in reality they were perfectly fine to begin with.

The media has instilled in men the belief that love and hence a relationship with a woman is the greatest thing one can achieve, his own physical and emotional wellbeing are sacrificed in the struggle to find love. It is very rare today to find a movie that does not have a romantic subplot, in fact the overwhelming majority of movies are about finding love. This constant media propaganda has created a generation of men who feel worthless because no woman has loved them.

How many times have he heard men say "you complete me" to their significant other. Such a statement shows that this man has become reliant/addicted to this woman, women love such comments because they are made to feel important, just like how an expensive engagement ring is used to display how much she feels she is "worth".

Men today are made to feel broken, like "losers", incomplete or pathetic because the values of society has changed, while men haven't. Men today still hold such things as virtue, honor, loyalty, skill, intelligence and courage in high regard. Society and women do not view such things as important, what matters to them is materialism, consumerism and instant gratification or pleasure, my proof comes from how many women admire Paris Hilton. So the end result is good, descent men torturing themselves asking "what's wrong with me?" when in reality they should be asking "what is wrong with them?"


One step at a time
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” - Epictetus

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus

“The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage.” - Thucydides

"Solitude is painful when one is young, but delightful when one is more mature." - Albert Einstein

Changing your perception does not happen instantly, it takes time and a alot of courage. But that is something men should learn to appreciate, time is a man's ally and a woman's enemy, men often start out life less happy but gain happiness as they age, for women it is the opposite.

Why is this? Because as a man ages, the things that use to worry him, now no longer seem important, he has a better understanding things, a greater appreciation of life and is alot wiser, most men really do age like wine. Women, however, have built their entire outlook of life on external forces, their happiness is derived from how much attention they recieve, how much material goods they have and how physically attractice they are. Ironically all three things are inter-linked, as she ages, less people pay attention to her because her looks start to fade and hence less free gifts are thrown her way, all that is left is a bitter personality and a horrible sense of entitlement. Guess what I'm trying to say is the future for men is always getting brighter

Learning to enjoy solitude takes courage, it's hard to change your outlook when you have been taught to think differently your whole life but here are a few steps that may help.

1. Appreciate what you have: Remember that the world owes you nothing, hence everything you have, everything you own, your security, the fact that you are alive is something to be appreciated. Never forget that the grass is not always greener on the other side, for every single person who wishes to be married, there are legions of married men who wish they weren't. Freedom and solitude are two things that many single men never appreciate until it is taken away from them.

2. Enjoy yourself: Yes the world can be horrible, but it can also be a wonderful place. There are so many things this world has to offer and so many things single men can look forward too. There are so many locations to travel, food to taste, wines to drink, cigars to smoke, motorcycles or cars to ride, hobbies to pursue, the list is endless. Find what you like to do and do it.

3. Look after yourself: This links directly with point no. 2, men have been taught their whole lives to sacrifice themselves for others, and although such a thought is very noble, remember that in todays world nobody cares about the welfare of men. In fact the person who cares about you the most is yourself. So work/study hard, invest, save, eat right and exercise. Find that perfect balance between work and play.

4. Be happy with yourself: This is perhaps one of the hardest steps for some men to take. Learn to be happy with who you are, do not rely of others (especially women) for your own self-esteem. Remeber that all men have faults and flaws but every man has strengths and virtues. Do not judge yourself against others or rely on the judgement of others (unless it is constructive criticism). You have your beliefs and as long as you see yourself matching with those beliefs then be happy with who you are. And if you need to change, do so for your own benefit, to please yourself, not for the sake of others.

 

[Ohene]

While I agree with most of those quotes and the premise of winb3's statement....I still think theres a limit. Not that there has to be women even...but there has to be some sort of other entity at least.

Better yet, I think freedom > solitude. Women will strap that freedom. But to live in solitude with no freedom is straight