Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

ICC

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I need some help. I've been having dreams about the same girl for the past two years, she's always rejected me and it's just a mess of self pity, destroyed confidence from high school and headaches trying to ''fix'' myself. I've reached the point of suicidal thoughts a few times and my faith is just barely hanging on. What do you guys do? I know it's easy to say focus on yourself, etc, but I've never dated anyone. All the time girls just want to fukk or don't even look at me that way. It's a stressful thing as a man to feel that you are incapable of pulling a woman that you admittedly want. And I've even lowered my expectations, but nothing. It's a vicious cycle because it can eat your happiness and confidence unless you fight back. I feel that my faith has crippled me. All the really religious girls I liked dated non religious guys, slept around etc. I can't trust. And this current girl, she talked about saving herself for marriage like me, etc. But giving blow jobs doesn't count?....I'm just heartbroken. It's as if all the solid Catholic girls just wear crosses as decoration. And the non Catholic girls swerve when I ask to take things slowly. So what? Abandon my faith for some ''love'', or hold onto it, to a God that's seemingly abandoned me over and over?

Edit: fukk it. Back to the grind I go. I can make it, I'm healthy and I have a brain. God put me here, I just have to fight.
 
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kevm3

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I need some help. I've been having dreams about the same girl for the past two years, she's always rejected me and it's just a mess of self pity, destroyed confidence from high school and headaches trying to ''fix'' myself. I've reached the point of suicidal thoughts a few times and my faith is just barely hanging on. What do you guys do? I know it's easy to say focus on yourself, etc, but I've never dated anyone. All the time girls just want to fukk or don't even look at me that way. It's a stressful thing as a man to feel that you are incapable of pulling a woman that you admittedly want. And I've even lowered my expectations, but nothing. It's a vicious cycle because it can eat your happiness and confidence unless you fight back. I feel that my faith has crippled me. All the really religious girls I liked dated non religious guys, slept around etc. I can't trust. And this current girl, she talked about saving herself for marriage like me, etc. But giving blow jobs doesn't count?....I'm just heartbroken. It's as if all the solid Catholic girls just wear crosses as decoration. And the non Catholic girls swerve when I ask to take things slowly. So what? Abandon my faith for some ''love'', or hold onto it, to a God that's seemingly abandoned me over and over?

There are very few 'gems' left in modern society. Most women are doing their thing. Abandon God? Nah. The only thing you're going to find with those two-timing type of women is just how scandalous women can be when they're cheating on you and the such. It's difficult for a man of faith to find a wife... any man for that matter. We're simply in a society where 'traditional values' are not encouraged. As bad as you think you have it, it will be 10 times worse if one of these scandalous broads got you in their mitts... for example, you impregnated one and you're on hook for child support, or she planted someone else's kid on you and you're on hook for child support.

The only thing for you to really do is to condition yourself to not place your self-worth on women. Also, realize that there is a world full of women... billions of them, and get yourself in a position to where you are fluid and not tethered to your current location. Sometimes you will find much better results in different locations. Finally, what you're experiencing is not God abandoning you, but rather the majority of society abandoning God. It might feel lonely when you're not with someone, but that's nothing compared to what the wrong woman can do to your life. Women are not worth sacrificing your faith over.
 

ICC

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Thank you, and you make a lot of great points. It just sucks when a woman just up and casts you aside like that though, you can't help but feel inadequate. But it's as you said, the wrong women will eat you alive and destroy you. I just can't understand how people can be so cruel.
 

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Thank you, and you make a lot of great points. It just sucks when a woman just up and casts you aside like that though, you can't help but feel inadequate. But it's as you said, the wrong women will eat you alive and destroy you. I just can't understand how people can be so cruel.

most people in life are selfish as hell, quickly you realize better off you will be

trust me the wrong woman can literally destroy you i've been there and it took me years to get to where I am.
 

Mister_DoItNice

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You can't base your worth on outside entities. I'm not a religous person but I often agree with was Kev says, this is no different. Many women these days are on a completely different path. If you come to them with good intentions and truth, they look the other way. It's unfortunate that you're having such a rough go of things. This may sound weird coming from someone like me, but have faith homie. Faith in yourself, faith in what you can control. These women will all want you after they've been used up by this world. Keep on progressing, and building yourself.
 

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You guys are wonderful, thank you for the words of encouragement. It's weird because the downside of that behaviour is that both men and women, become very untrusting of each other. The dating game destroys so many people.
 

MikelArteta

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It does because as men you are sold a bunch of lies. And then when you facr the frustration that doing it right means nothing .

Trust me I've been there angry, biter, frustrated , questioning myself. Just gotta let it go,

The mantra I try to take in life it only takes one. What I mean is all you have to do is find one woman you can trust, one woman you can love that feels the same way about you and ditto the rest


You guys are wonderful, thank you for the words of encouragement. It's weird because the downside of that behaviour is that both men and women, become very untrusting of each other. The dating game destroys so many people.
 

MikelArteta

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Thank you, and you make a lot of great points. It just sucks when a woman just up and casts you aside like that though, you can't help but feel inadequate. But it's as you said, the wrong women will eat you alive and destroy you. I just can't understand how people can be so cruel.


Married for what I thought was a blissful 18 years to a beautiful amazing wife/mother of our children, together 22 years all up. Just found out a week ago that my wife has been having a long term affair for at least 15 years. I am so hurt and my life as I knew it has been a lie. We have 3 amazing kids, of which I just found out the oldest is mine, and the other 2 are the OM's children. I have been gathering info since what you may call a "mini D-Day" but it was confirmed a week ago when I found out the 2 youngest were not mine. Since then, the past week I have been digging to find out as much info for myself without confronting her so that I won't have to rely on her word as much so as to reduce any chances of trickle truthing, if that makes sense. She senses something is wrong but she doesn't know that I know at this point.

I honestly don't know what to do, I love this woman so much and I just feel like my heart has been shattered into a trillion pieces. I want to know what I am going to do before I even consider confronting her, because I know now 100% this affair has been going on for most of our marriage, just writing that makes me sick. I know the OM a little as he is her co-worker and I know his wife a little as well, I will definitely be informing her once I confront my wife. At the moment life is going along as normal as can be, so as to not raise any suspicions. I guess I came here for the support and to help me on how I can decide what I want to do. What would any of you do if you were in my situation?

p.s even though I just found out that the 2 youngest are biologically not mine, they are every bit my children and I love them as my own no matter what, a DNA test will never take that away from me.


i just posted that to say, there are so many men out there who have what you want so bad the loving wife, the girl of their dreams only to be raked over the coals, what im saying is dont be in a rush, continue to work on yourslef, its better to be SINGLE its better to HAVE NO ONE, than to be in the arms of a charmer/liar/skank.

ive been there in a relationship my girl at the time looking in was damn :noah:, shaped like a goddess, I was winning right? nah I was so stressed out day after day after day. WOuldn't wish what I went through on anyone but it taught me one valuable thing, its better to be single than to be in the arms of the wrong woman. Doesn't matter how much knowledge, wisdom, game, control of emotions you have, you can easily get caught up and before you know it.
 

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Is it me or does it seem Iike many of your peers are getting engaged, married, entering a new relationship or officially starting a family? My timeline is full of this for real.

A lot of brehs and even brehettes are looking like :to:on these stats while I'm going:blessed:to myself because I don't have those potential migraines.


i'm going down for my best friend's wedding today. First time I'm in the party and everything. I'm real happy for him he found a real one. I'm glad it's not me I'm nowhere near ready but my dude has really grown as a man and she's sacrificed with him throughout that. I remember when he came to the dorms talking about a girl in his class freshman year, now 7 years later they married :blessed:

as for a lot of my other homies they are in LTRs now and I find people are a little less down for shyt that we used to be down for. That's cool most of them are my friends for life. Contact can be transient, but if they real hittas, you just pick up where you leave off when you get together. Bout to see a good bunch of them this weekend can't wait

Paragraph above is off-topic, but yeah man I feel :blessed: I'm not dealing with anything like that moving to a new city in a few months. starting the biggest most important chapter of my life. If I was dealing with a serious relationship, I think it would just be stressful
 

Shadow King

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"When unattractive men have hit on me, I have honestly been insulted. It's sort of like having an amazing degree and work experience, and someone seriously asking you if you want a minimum wage job."

The shyt women say ...the ARROGANCE man
Well I've had unattractive women push up on me and that shyt made me feel :guilty: on the inside lol

It's based on the "you are what you attract" mantra
 

TRUEST

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I need some help. I've been having dreams about the same girl for the past two years, she's always rejected me and it's just a mess of self pity, destroyed confidence from high school and headaches trying to ''fix'' myself. I've reached the point of suicidal thoughts a few times and my faith is just barely hanging on. What do you guys do? I know it's easy to say focus on yourself, etc, but I've never dated anyone. All the time girls just want to fukk or don't even look at me that way. It's a stressful thing as a man to feel that you are incapable of pulling a woman that you admittedly want. And I've even lowered my expectations, but nothing. It's a vicious cycle because it can eat your happiness and confidence unless you fight back. I feel that my faith has crippled me. All the really religious girls I liked dated non religious guys, slept around etc. I can't trust. And this current girl, she talked about saving herself for marriage like me, etc. But giving blow jobs doesn't count?....I'm just heartbroken. It's as if all the solid Catholic girls just wear crosses as decoration. And the non Catholic girls swerve when I ask to take things slowly. So what? Abandon my faith for some ''love'', or hold onto it, to a God that's seemingly abandoned me over and over?

Edit: fukk it. Back to the grind I go. I can make it, I'm healthy and I have a brain. God put me here, I just have to fight.

Like kevm3 said, if ur not having much luck around where u live, go where ur wanted. travel. how do u know which areas will want u? try posting ur pics on a dating site and putting ur location as any location you desire to check out. see how many females hit u up first, and see how many respond well to u.

and when u do find a woman, dont make the mistake of putting all ur eggs in one basket. religion today has been turned into somewhat of a nightmare where ur forced to believe in this "one partner forever" lifestyle. u need to rid urself of this mentality...at least up until u find the one woman who is 100% down for u and who u are 100% down for as well...in which case, u wont want to cheat.

but remember, before u get all religious on urself, remember, Solomon had hundreds of wives and concubines. His father David slept with someone's wife and had her husband killed. Abraham slept with his maid. So before u sit there and think it is unholy for u to do sexual things before getting married, ask urself, are u holier than Abraham? Solomon? David? These were humans just like u. Enjoy life! but be compassionate to those who have not wronged u!
 
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