Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
TrapHouse Rock
All Star
You learn quickly that some relationships/friendships/acquaintances are transient in nature. Some people will come back to your life, but most will not. I remember checking in on people (mostly women) from college who I was close to from anywhere to a couple semesters to up to 7 years just to say what's up, but I seemed to be the only one on that tip so I fell back from all that shyt. At first, it's surprising women you killed a lot of your time with one semester and went to school with for both high school or college you probably won't talk to much again, but that's how it is.
There's some friends also that fell to the wayside, but I know I got a real good circle around me and whoever hasn't made it this far probably ain't worth the time.
TRANSIENT is the key word here. Those friends you can meet up with randomly and its like picking up where you left off are not transient. Those friends you go out with regularly aren't transient. Family isn't transient. Everyone else though...
You should be swimming in sum p*ssy breh
You learn quickly that some relationships/friendships/acquaintances are transient in nature. Some people will come back to your life, but most will not. I remember checking in on people (mostly women) from college who I was close to from anywhere to a couple semesters to up to 7 years just to say what's up, but I seemed to be the only one on that tip so I fell back from all that shyt. At first, it's surprising women you killed a lot of your time with one semester and went to school with for both high school or college you probably won't talk to much again, but that's how it is.
There's some friends also that fell to the wayside, but I know I got a real good circle around me and whoever hasn't made it this far probably ain't worth the time.
TRANSIENT is the key word here. Those friends you can meet up with randomly and its like picking up where you left off are not transient. Those friends you go out with regularly aren't transient. Family isn't transient. Everyone else though...
its the truth man, its funny the ones you dont think will stick around are the ones still there the end of the day, while the ones you thought, the ones you did alot for are no where to be seen.
no simp but all the money I spent on these chicks, all the moments we shared nope not around
i prob spent like 10 dollars total on my coworkers, and like 150 in like 12 years on my close female friend who just got married (and that 150 was her wedding gift) yet she's been around through thick and thin, even if sometimes we dont talk for weeks or months just like reading page 155 of a book and picking up at ike page 156
BmoreGorilla
Veteran
I'm late to the party but I can offer wisdom on this shyt. A couple years ago me and my wife separated for a few months. We had been having some issues for a while and she said she was done. I did the begging, crying, apologizing shyt for months before she finally went with my daughter to live with her mother. Luckily I'd spent those previous months getting all the simp out my system so when they left I was prepared. I hung out with my boys more and even spent some time with a former female co worker just to shoot the shyt. While she was gone I barely contacted her in fact we only talked when she contacted me. It ate at her that I was cool doing me and that was completely different than the dude who was begging all the time when she was contemplating leaving. She tried to act like she was happy for me that id moved on but it also intrigued her. No longer did I look pathetic to her. She eventually came back after a few months
Point is breh don't contact her. Don't worry about who she's with or what she's doing cuz you have no control over it. What you really need to do is date cuz another female will pump your head up and not even have you thinking about your ex. Most of the time women don't come back cuz men do all the wrong things after a break up to push them away further. You need to give off that confident aura like you don't need her. It'll make you more attractive and interesting to her and if she loves you she'll come back
TrapHouse Rock
All Star
I can honestly say I have one true female friend and that's someone who I never had any feelings for. There's a couple other females I'm cool with but I think deep down a couple of them have/had a thing for me and I was not that interested or the timing doesn't work for right now. Everyone else I don't talk to anymore. Another lesson you learn along the way is that you don't have a lot of female friends - over time it's either A) people you wanna go farther than friendship with B) people who wanna go farther than friendship with you.
It might seem narrow-minded and I apologize if it does, but I think that's the natural order of things. Of course there will always be exceptions, but I think most of yall can attest to the above. I just had a homie from college who moved back into the area who I hadn't seen more than once in three years, and grabbed a couple beers with his friends, and it was like picking back up from college (which was almost three years ago
). It's just different when it comes to those situations.
I can honestly say I have one true female friend and that's someone who I never had any feelings for. There's a couple other females I'm cool with but I think deep down a couple of them have/had a thing for me and I was not that interested or the timing doesn't work for right now. Everyone else I don't talk to anymore. Another lesson you learn along the way is that you don't have a lot of female friends - over time it's either A) people you wanna go farther than friendship with B) people who wanna go farther than friendship with you.
It might seem narrow-minded and I apologize if it does, but I think that's the natural order of things. Of course there will always be exceptions, but I think most of yall can attest to the above. I just had a homie from college who moved back into the area who I hadn't seen more than once in three years, and grabbed a couple beers with his friends, and it was like picking back up from college (which was almost three years ago
it's true man I agree. My one true female friend I attended her wedding a few weeks ago, we've known each other for so long it's like sister and brother. We've slept over each other houses nothing happaned, our families know each other. Even the guy she's married that was the first time I met him but he knew so much about me. Hell there coming over for a bbq in a few weeks. And then my two co workers who I saw every day basically mon to fri for 8 years that's about it.
Minus that I agree, you'll have the rare exception but for the most part, someone will want more, or you can't really go from being in a relationship to friends. And well its total understandable but most men won't want their broad talking to another dude and vice versa.
that plays a part, another part is many of the times when a woman is done shes done, shes talked to her girlfriends, she talked to her mom, while shes kissing you, telling you she loves you she is already emotionally detaching and then it comes out of nowhere and you cant fathom how she loved you thursday but on friday feels nothing. Many times it could be months and months in advance, how can she text me every day for years but suddenly every day I stare at my phone itching to text her and she doesn't care.
It's literally like looking for a new job, you show up to work, no one knows your applying elsewhere it could take months even years but when you finally get a new job you give your two weeks notice and your gone and never looking back.
But it's like you mentioned its all out of our control, if a woman wants to be with you she will be with you like your wife, if she doesn't she won't. Key is to just cut all cords and live your life and whatever happens happens.
You can sit around and mope be sad and "wait" and waste precious time in this short life we have and whatever happens
or you can go live life, be positive and upbeat enjoy life and the blessings you have and whatever happens happens
in both situations whatever happens happens
Exactly. Complete waste of time trying to reconstruct your actions into the perfect series of behaviors so that if you break up, she will be interested. If she wants to go, she can go. If she can't do without me, then she'll come back on her own. The less I think about how to act in a fashion that will get a woman to do this or that, the more stress that disappears from my life. Either she likes me, or she doesn't, and if she doesn't, she can move out the way so that some woman that DOES can step in.
yup, when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter what you do. I've seen it with my own eyes and sadly experienced it myself. You can be the best guy ever, treat her with respect love her, hold your ground, family loves you but you mess up once, say something once and that will be it.
While the very next person she dates can cheat on her, abuse her, disrespect her and she will go back to him over and over again. And the very next person she dates can do all that and she leaves after the first time, and the very next person can be the best guy ever again treat her with respect and love and she stays.
I'm not saying to treat a woman horribly or whatever, but in the end it doesn't really matter what you do. A woman will either be with you or not.
If a woman doesn't want to be with you, she will find faults with every little thing and hold it against you. It's because you sad *insert so and so*, however if she wants to be with you that so and so you said she admires your honesty and speaking from the heart.
let me add on to this
I've seen it all, been through it all that nothing surprises me anymore or gets me riled up or frustrated. Is it disappointing throwing a int (equivalent of a flake, rejection, heartbreak, expecting the great but receiving the worse). Sure, however shrugs, life goes on until the clock says 0 (RIP) it's never to late to mount a comeback and to win in the end.
WheresWallace
Superstar
Philly. What yall use outside of POF thats free?
What yall use outside of POF thats free?
i honestly haven't dated in years. i don't feel like i'm meant for marriage, as i'm happier alone at the moment. i feel free right now. i'm 20 in college. and building myself up. besides i don't understand the dating game right now and i dont need to be stressing myself over it.
Rayzah
I'm Everywhere you ain't never there
Yea, if I cant be honest 97.8% of the time im with a chick, then she aint right for me.. I have been through more than enough situations that end3ed on a misunderstanding that could have easily been fixed. But these chicks aint trying, but at the same time maybe that's how they show they aren't interested. I hope these chicks aren't that damn picky
I know you hear this all the time but 20 is the very beginning of your dating life, you as a man do not have to rush into anything.