Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[EA]

Honestly man, it doesn't sound like you're ready to start dating again, and that's okay. What's the rush? Why not just take some time to just focus on yourself and get the negativity out of your life?

I know the popular advice is to get over one chick by finding another, but it can be pretty bad advice. I mean, think of how often dudes just find themselves in a similar situation. You broke up with your ex for a reason and you still messed around with her. What's to stop you from ending up in another situation where a chick is pressuring you to have kids and then just goes off birth control? You don't want that stress again man.

I've made the mistake of messing with an ex before and it opened my eyes to the fact that I need to take a long time to just date myself. Also, you're only gonna struggle in the dating game if you're consumed by guilt from an ex.

Are you still in contact with the ex? Getting rid of her and her negative presence (or at least minimizing it) should be your first priority.

I've been thinking about this and I have to agree. The thought of dating just makes me feel anxious in a "What kind of BS am I gonna myself into this time?" way. I'm planning to use this year as a one to build myself up and lay foundations so I don't have to date under any pressure.

I haven't outright cut my ex off but I don't call/text her at all. She'll message me once a week or so to check up on me but once that conversation is over, she won't hear from me until whenever she decides to message me again.

 

[Urbanmiracle]

It seems in today's dating game, we men are fighting an up hill battle against the attention seeking female.

I'm in the courting stages with a woman and one of the things I like about her is that she has no Facebook no IG and she hates texting, she rather call me or speak to me in person. Real old school. And she finds me more interesting now I have more things to talk about instead of her just looking up my life on social media.

But the courting stage nerves me out because I know it's a competitive game to get the female whole attention. But like someone said you just gotta be yourself. Just be who you are and if she ain't about it, move on to the next

 

[Spades Of Aces]

It seems in today's dating game, we men are fighting an up hill battle against the attention seeking female.

I'm in the courting stages with a woman and one of the things I like about her is that she has no Facebook no IG and she hates texting, she rather call me or speak to me in person. Real old school. And she finds me more interesting now I have more things to talk about instead of her just looking up my life on social media.

But the courting stage nerves me out because I know it's a competitive game to get the female whole attention. But like someone said you just gotta be yourself. Just be who you are and if she ain't about it, move on to the next

Man, it's damn near impossible to court a female properly due to so many things grabbing their attention at once. It's not as appreciated as it was several years ago. Like you said, the best thing you can do is be yourself and be confident in what you bring to the table. As long as you stay grounded, no female will be able to shake your foundation.

 

[kevm3]

2007(friends) I'm 26, he's 25. We've been friends since i was 17 and he was 16.

From his standpoint (this is what i believe and what I vaguely remember ) he came out to meet me on a week day (with another friend)and he drove out to see me, and i was suppose to meet up with him, but at the last minute couldn't because of my car situation, and i think that upset him because he felt inconvenienced, but trying to make an unfortunate situation better, i told him we could make up for it that weekend(fourth of july weekend). We also talked about hanging out that weekend anyway prior to him coming out to see me that day. So anyway i texted him on the day before July 4 and asked him "what are you doing this weekend?" and he texted back "i'm hanging with my girl." From my standpoint, i felt like he just curved me just because he was still upset about what happened earlier that week, and not only did he diss me but he did it in favor for his girlfriend. How you going diss me, and not only diss me in favor of someone you've known less time than me. I knew this nikka since 11th grade, we were best friends, and you curve me in favor of a girlfriend you may have had a year(if that). After he texted me that response, i haven't spoken to him since. That was July 3, 2013 or 2014. For the most part it's something petty, but it's been so long since we spoke, and quite frankly he had to started to change as a friend(in subtle ways) long before the incident that i don't even know if it's worth rekindling. SMH sometimes you gotta leave certain people in the past, so you can be blessed with better people. *shrugs* Idk

Might as well go and kick it with your homeboy. No use in letting some petty situations derail a friendship. As you get older, you'll realize that your long-time homeboys are some of the little company you will still have. Most other people will completely vanish.

 

[kevm3]

Man, it's damn near impossible to court a female properly due to so many things grabbing their attention at once. It's not as appreciated as it was several years ago. Like you said, the best thing you can do is be yourself and be confident in what you bring to the table. As long as you stay grounded, no female will be able to shake your foundation.

Yep. You pretty much have to come with the attitude of 'it'll be what it'll be' and you simply have to just enjoy the moment because the vast majority of women you meet today will be transient. As much as you think she's into you, she has a facebook and instagram full of messages and when she finds a guy she feels is an upgrade, she'll vanish. She said she loved you yesterday, and today she's not returning your phone calls.

That's one of the reasons I keep telling dudes if they find that woman that is actually into them and is loyal and God-fearing, get out of the game. Otherwise, you'll waste years of your life dealing with these ping pong ball style women who are bouncing around from dude to dude.

It's also very important to have a strong foundation of things you do that don't involve women because you have to be able to live and enjoy life during those periods when you aren't getting the sort of female attention you desire. There's too many blessings in life to attach all of your joys to the whims of a woman.

 

[MikelArteta]

Might as well go and kick it with your homeboy. No use in letting some petty situations derail a friendship. As you get older, you'll realize that your long-time homeboys are some of the little company you will still have. Most other people will completely vanish.

pretty much, hell people i considered good friends 5-10 years ago majority aint around anymore

 

[H.R.V]

If you ain't happy by yourself a woman ain't going to make you any happier.

Too many men thinking if only I could get a girl or a certain girl don't realise you gotta get your shyt together on your own first

More you worry about dating and not messing up the higher your chance of actually messing up, stay in the present moment don't look too far ahead. Should be thinking is she good enough for me not the other way round.

Big one I've been guilty of is ignoring red flags or thinking you can "change" somebody.

Look at actions over words

Good thread a lot of good advice

 

[hoodheronova]

2007(friends) I'm 26, he's 25. We've been friends since i was 17 and he was 16.

From his standpoint (this is what i believe and what I vaguely remember ) he came out to meet me on a week day (with another friend)and he drove out to see me, and i was suppose to meet up with him, but at the last minute couldn't because of my car situation, and i think that upset him because he felt inconvenienced, but trying to make an unfortunate situation better, i told him we could make up for it that weekend(fourth of july weekend). We also talked about hanging out that weekend anyway prior to him coming out to see me that day. So anyway i texted him on the day before July 4 and asked him "what are you doing this weekend?" and he texted back "i'm hanging with my girl." From my standpoint, i felt like he just curved me just because he was still upset about what happened earlier that week, and not only did he diss me but he did it in favor for his girlfriend. How you going diss me, and not only diss me in favor of someone you've known less time than me. I knew this nikka since 11th grade, we were best friends, and you curve me in favor of a girlfriend you may have had a year(if that). After he texted me that response, i haven't spoken to him since. That was July 3, 2013 or 2014. For the most part it's something petty, but it's been so long since we spoke, and quite frankly he had to started to change as a friend(in subtle ways) long before the incident that i don't even know if it's worth rekindling. SMH sometimes you gotta leave certain people in the past, so you can be blessed with better people. *shrugs* Idk

yall were never good friends if y'all are just gonna beef ova some petty shyt like that

 

[Ohene]

@Asantehene you heard da breh

lolol i highly doubt i gave bad advice though

 

[DarkHorse23]

yall were never good friends if y'all are just gonna beef ova some petty shyt like that

Your opinion and you're entitled to it.

 

[PaperEnterprise]

2007(friends) I'm 26, he's 25. We've been friends since i was 17 and he was 16.

From his standpoint (this is what i believe and what I vaguely remember ) he came out to meet me on a week day (with another friend)and he drove out to see me, and i was suppose to meet up with him, but at the last minute couldn't because of my car situation, and i think that upset him because he felt inconvenienced, but trying to make an unfortunate situation better, i told him we could make up for it that weekend(fourth of july weekend). We also talked about hanging out that weekend anyway prior to him coming out to see me that day. So anyway i texted him on the day before July 4 and asked him "what are you doing this weekend?" and he texted back "i'm hanging with my girl." From my standpoint, i felt like he just curved me just because he was still upset about what happened earlier that week, and not only did he diss me but he did it in favor for his girlfriend. How you going diss me, and not only diss me in favor of someone you've known less time than me. I knew this nikka since 11th grade, we were best friends, and you curve me in favor of a girlfriend you may have had a year(if that). After he texted me that response, i haven't spoken to him since. That was July 3, 2013 or 2014. For the most part it's something petty, but it's been so long since we spoke, and quite frankly he had to started to change as a friend(in subtle ways) long before the incident that i don't even know if it's worth rekindling. SMH sometimes you gotta leave certain people in the past, so you can be blessed with better people. *shrugs* Idk

Man fukk that nikka. No disrespect and shyt. Life goes on, you meet new people...old friends grow apart.

I agree with you that its petty but guess what your friendship will be awkward.

So go get yaself a dime bytch and fukk her real good...fukk this nikka for holding a grudge like a woman.

 

[PaperEnterprise]

I tried dating in hopes of meeting a good woman and settle down...im 34.

Its so hard to find women that arent jaded. I actually had a woman tell me all guys are a$$holes and she has given up on men and she just waits for men to mess up...lol

At that instant, i cut her off. I dont have the energy to prove my worth or my intentions...she looked fine but fukk that roller coaster she wanted me to get on.

Im building myself and in due time ill meet a good woman and honestly i want a good woman to have my baby. I dont really believe in marriage, i believe in love.

Even if i dont end up having kids...i got my nephew n nieces lol.

 

[DarkHorse23]

Man fukk that nikka. No disrespect and shyt. Life goes on, you meet new people...old friends grow apart.

I agree with you that its petty but guess what your friendship will be awkward.

So go get yaself a dime bytch and fukk her real good...fukk this nikka for holding a grudge like a woman.

No disrespect taken. Honestly i'm leaning towards just letting it go and not reaching out back to him, because honestly like @Spin said if a male friend isn't going to add anything to my life, then what's really the point in keeping them. Him being in a relationship, and me being single were in two different places in our life anyway.
And yeah honestly for him to do that, i was very disappointed, and then you don't reach out to me again until almost 2 years later

 

[PaperEnterprise]

No disrespect taken. Honestly i'm leaning towards just letting it go and not reaching out back to him, because honestly like @Spin said if a male friend isn't going to add anything to my life, then what's really the point in keeping them. Him being in a relationship, and me being single were in two different places in our life anyway.
And yeah honestly for him to do that, i was very disappointed, and then you don't reach out to me again until almost 2 years later

He realized his fault but fukk yall gonna do? Catch up on the time missed lol.

Like i said, find a dime bytch and blow her back out.

Bruh, do what you feel is right. I just dont hold onto the past anymore...change is constant

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

No disrespect taken. Honestly i'm leaning towards just letting it go and not reaching out back to him, because honestly like @Spin said if a male friend isn't going to add anything to my life, then what's really the point in keeping them. Him being in a relationship, and me being single were in two different places in our life anyway.
And yeah honestly for him to do that, i was very disappointed, and then you don't reach out to me again until almost 2 years later

Yoo there's no harm in just hearing what he has to say. I've been in a similar situation where I broke it off with someone for stupid / petty reasons and I reached a point where I felt like I needed to reach out to them just to apologize if nothing else, and this is years later, but I never did because more than likely they wouldn't respond. Even if your friendship with him has cooled beyond repair there's no harm in at least trying to burying the hatchet so that your memories of each other won't always be so sour. People do dumb shyt sometimes and regret it later.

Just hear him out and if it turns out y'all are just too different then let it go. I used to hold grudges like a muthafukka and I all that happened was that I ended up being alone. Even the smallest transgressions I could never forgive. If you want to be tight with somebody for a long time you are going to have to leave room for mistakes in the relationship, just don't let it be a slippery slope and never allow your core principles to be undermined.

Might be an unpopular opinion but there you go.