Can someone with more or different insight give me some guidance
I understand people's values systems are based around these concepts, and Value system =self ID= concept of self, so it's important, but sometimes seems like over the top to me. Like they take it intensely seriously. I know our culture is at base pretty puritanical.
often, I'll ask someone out, who is in a relationship, I almost always don't know whether they are single or not, and honestly sometimes I do know, and I just don't care, if she's down, I'm with it. But, mostly I truly don't know. Part is probably sometimes myopia, because of social media, they think I have more details on their lives than I do. And if I'm asking, we are probably flirting or just expressing interest.
They sometimes seem, not shocked? not offended? but something like that. Like I crossed a line I wasn't even aware of. I guess the easy conclusion is they see it as a questioning of their values, ex: monogamy? Is this just my deviance in terms of norms and values? As in, I don't really respect relationships and structures and systems, and it shows, even when I don't think it does. It's not the people but the structure?