Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

That sounds like a problem for future me

I am telling myself to stay strong and don't fall back into the p*ssy and by extension fall back into that limbo mode relationship we were in. That's always gonna be an important one to me though, so I'ma keep it cordial but firm. If she needs help, then I got her. But all the romantic fantasy shyt she got going on in her head I think I'm gonna have to stand tall and dead it

 

[The Jewnited States]

So..........you're dating then?........ ......Cause that's exactly what it is..

Bruh I don't even know anymore. I asked a couple of my friends for their definitions of: seeing someone, dating, hanging out, relationship.

Almost everyone had a different definition.

Homegirl: "Well I go on dates with someone but that doesn't mean we are dating. We are just seeing each other until it gets a little more serious, then we are dating."

Me: and when do you cross that threshold? 3 dates? 5?

Homegirl: it depends. If I'm just seeing someone then I can still go on dates with other people, we ain't exclusive yet. Once it's serious and we dating, then I expect us to be monogamous.

Me: okay well what's the difference between dating and being in a relationship according to your definition?

Homegirl: *thinks about it* just the label I guess

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

Bruh I don't even know anymore. I asked a couple of my friends for their definitions of: seeing someone, dating, hanging out, relationship.

Almost everyone had a different definition.

Homegirl: "Well I go on dates with someone but that doesn't mean we are dating. We are just seeing each other until it gets a little more serious, then we are dating."

Me: and when do you cross that threshold? 3 dates? 5?

Homegirl: it depends. If I'm just seeing someone then I can still go on dates with other people, we ain't exclusive yet. Once it's serious and we dating, then I expect us to be monogamous.

Me: okay well what's the difference between dating and being in a relationship according to your definition?

Homegirl: *thinks about it* just the label I guess

...............If you can find it, go back to that very first time I quoted one of your posts when it was involving that Asian chick and what I was saying about folks ducking and dodging what the reality of the scenario is.......your homegirl is just ducking really acknowledging what is going on with her dating life and playing semantics to lie to herself....

 

[The ADD]

Bruh I don't even know anymore. I asked a couple of my friends for their definitions of: seeing someone, dating, hanging out, relationship.

Almost everyone had a different definition.

Homegirl: "Well I go on dates with someone but that doesn't mean we are dating. We are just seeing each other until it gets a little more serious, then we are dating."

Me: and when do you cross that threshold? 3 dates? 5?

Homegirl: it depends. If I'm just seeing someone then I can still go on dates with other people, we ain't exclusive yet. Once it's serious and we dating, then I expect us to be monogamous.

Me: okay well what's the difference between dating and being in a relationship according to your definition?

Homegirl: *thinks about it* just the label I guess

You are going to twist yourself in knots.

What was the genesis of your connection with her and is there anything from to suggest to her you wanted to be platonic friends?

If not then reasonably persue.

 

[The Jewnited States]

...............If you can find it, go back to that very first time I quoted one of your posts when it was involving that Asian chick and what I was saying about folks ducking and dodging what the reality of the scenario is.......your homegirl is just ducking really acknowledging what is going on with her dating life and playing semantics to lie to herself....

She was giving me a damn headache trying to make squares fit into circles, moving the goalposts, and having all upper and lower limits of time become fluid. I know she ain't alone in that way of looking at dating though

You are going to twist yourself in knots.

What was the genesis of your connection with her and is there anything from to suggest to her you wanted to be platonic friends?

If not then reasonably persue.

I met her at my last job. She would always come to my station and I'd cook her order. Eventually started making small talk, and somewhere along the way started getting into convos about sociology, philosophy, mental health care, and more about our backgrounds. After a while she'd stay talking to me 20-30 minutes after her order was done. Told her I like our convos and would like to speak outside of my job, and we exchanged numbers. Texting led to calls to set up meetups, which led to actually meeting up. There's been enough physical touching for me to gauge her body language, and she is not pulling away from me. I'm just gonna go for it breh. You right. Gonna talk myself into a knot and end up NOT in the p*ssy

 

[Tommy Lee Jones]

I feel like when you hit it off quickly and things go smoothly that’s when it works out.

Just smashed on 3rd date this girl from Ivory Coast who’s 10 years younger than me. We have same hobbies and she has the family mindset.

I’m enjoying the moment for what it is now because you never know where things will end up but it’s looking good for now. Just gotta keep trying eventually you find a good one.

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Less people want a relationship than they realize so it throws the dating pool off.

Problem is they aren’t honest. Those people need to make that known upfront. That they aren’t looking for anything serious. Give the other person an opportunity to make the decision to continue. Instead, we have folks playing with people’s emotions because they’re selfish and not honest with themselves. Creating more damaged people.

Thats why it’s important to establish boundaries and expectations EARLY in the interaction. Sometimes we meet a chick that we are attracted to and immediately fantasize about her and the future. Instead, we should take things slow and cut a situation off as soon as it’s not congruent with what we want.

All that to say that dating and love is a risk. Nothings fool proof. Just have to stay honest with yourself and the reality of the situation and trust that one day you’ll meet someone that’s meant to be in your life.

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Any brehs ever have a real solid chick that held it down and loved you fully and you knew you could trust them, sex was great and all that but for whatever reason you just could NOT see yourself being with them long term?

I'm in that predicament now and I don't know how to move. Part of me says I'd be throwing away a chance at a real solid chick for the rest of my life, other part of me finds myself not wanting to spend so much time with her..... I don't know if I'm being too picky or what


Side note: any brehs on here wanna exchange contact info? I find myself needing someone to talk to about dating and relationships but I don't always have people who can offer useful advice

With all due respect. Let her go find someone that actually won’t waste her time. If you’re not serious and she is keep it real and cut her loose. Don’t string her along until you find the one YOU actually want.

 

[The ADD]

Problem is they aren’t honest. Those people need to make that known upfront. That they aren’t looking for anything serious. Give the other person an opportunity to make the decision to continue. Instead, we have folks playing with people’s emotions because they’re selfish and not honest with themselves. Creating more damaged people.

Thats why it’s important to establish boundaries and expectations EARLY in the interaction. Sometimes we meet a chick that we are attracted to and immediately fantasize about her and the future. Instead, we should take things slow and cut a situation off as soon as it’s not congruent with what we want.

All that to say that dating and love is a risk. Nothings fool proof. Just have to stay honest with yourself and the reality of the situation and trust that one day you’ll meet someone that’s meant to be in your life.

Some people are dishonest and some people haven’t recognized it within themselves.

I think you have to be careful the quickness of cutting something off because perception that it’s not congruent. You can over correct and take a reasonable situation as a slight and reason to walk away.

 

[The Jewnited States]

Some people are dishonest and some people haven’t recognized it within themselves.

I think you have to be careful the quickness of cutting something off because perception that it’s not congruent. You can over correct and take a reasonable situation as a slight and reason to walk away.

This is true. Dating, just like life, is a series of actions, feedback, reactions, corrections, updating of the mental model we are interpreting the world through, and right back at it again. Constantly gotta adjust and work your way through it. It ain't easy

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Some people are dishonest and some people haven’t recognized it within themselves.

I think you have to be careful the quickness of cutting something off because perception that it’s not congruent. You can over correct and take a reasonable situation as a slight and reason to walk away.

Doubtful. I disagree. If you’re 30+ you’ve likely experienced enough to know whether you want to be in a relationship or not.

As to the last part any time I didn’t trust my gut things went south. If I have a feeling that somethings off it probably is.

 

[twan83]

Any brehs ever have a real solid chick that held it down and loved you fully and you knew you could trust them, sex was great and all that but for whatever reason you just could NOT see yourself being with them long term?

I'm in that predicament now and I don't know how to move. Part of me says I'd be throwing away a chance at a real solid chick for the rest of my life, other part of me finds myself not wanting to spend so much time with her..... I don't know if I'm being too picky or what


Side note: any brehs on here wanna exchange contact info? I find myself needing someone to talk to about dating and relationships but I don't always have people who can offer useful advice

Ya this one female was literally at that time my dream girl but I just wanted to have fun and chase women I realized it few weeks in the relationship and I didn’t want to cheat so I was upfront bout it and let her go we broke up and I never saw her again
Had good bye sex at least which was fire but ya it was really hard thing to do but it was best for her she deserved better and I just wasn’t ready as i thought I was and I ain’t trying to cheat and shyt
Sometimes hardest thing to do is the best thing to do they have said that and it is true

 

[Panther]

for sure. lot of people acting like they want one but as soon as things start getting serious they act dumb and sabotage

they forget they require work and its not all ig reels and baecations

 

[OGBobbyJohnson]

 

[The ADD]

Doubtful. I disagree. If you’re 30+ you’ve likely experienced enough to know whether you want to be in a relationship or not.

As to the last part any time I didn’t trust my gut things went south. If I have a feeling that somethings off it probably is.

To the first, you give people too much credit.

To the second everyone doesnt have great gut instincts.