Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[WIA20XX]

I'm trying to put my finger on it pause but how the fukk did this shyt get so terrible with many guys dealing with women?



How did we get here to this point in 2025? What was the start?

07 - iPhone - she's always connected
12 - FB buys IG - Where FB kinda resembles your real life, IG is your fantasy life.
12 - Tinder - Now chicks that are 5's (see below) can get all types of attention

Throw in chicks becoming influencers, stripper culture infiltrating rap via ATL, the economy changing (hoes getting paid, good dudes getting stuck), society becoming less social, echo chambers....

And here we are.

A lot of men have not adapted to

 

[skyrunner1]

07 - iPhone - she's always connected
12 - FB buys IG - Where FB kinda resembles your real life, IG is your fantasy life.
12 - Tinder - Now chicks that are 5's (see below) can get all types of attention

Throw in chicks becoming influencers, stripper culture infiltrating rap via ATL, the economy changing (hoes getting paid, good dudes getting stuck), society becoming less social, echo chambers....

And here we are.

A lot of men have not adapted to

Dont forget, IG MAJOR update that initially had many u in arms but them going from chronological order feed to Algorithm based one was a game changer also.. In early 2016. There is a reason many feels things changed around that time, that has alot to do with it. Camera phones and broadband like speed introduced on wireless also happened around that mid 2010's..

 

[re'up]

When we were talking about music, I thought about that more, and went on like a three day listening binge, Jodeci, R. Kelly, Brain McKnight, The Isley Brothers, Janet Jackson, Keith Sweat, Mariah Carey, like all that. And even though I play them all the time, I was struck by how drenched in how romance it was, and how drenched in sex it was, when thinking about modern culture. I found some quote on Reddit about how the music back then had a focus on romantic relationships, the yearning, the passion, the romance. And the heartbreak. But it was rarely just an individualistic perspective, which seemed accurate to me.

And I don't listen to a lot of modern R&B, but I know enough, and I would say it is very focused on one person's experience, often framed negatively. A song like R.Kelly and Sparkle Be Careful, (this song sounds so reasonable in 2025) was a masterpiece, and a song like Drake and SZA Slime U Out is something I like. But a little of that goes a long way, and for a lot of people, that's all they hear. Who are the big stars? SZA? And a lot of imitators. Doja Cat, Dooechii. And the pop stars, like Sabrina Carpenter, the music is maybe "empowering", but compared to like 90's Janet, or Mariah, it's not uplifting.

Some of these women I know, who are like 30, they all seem to lack that romance, that kind of passion. I was thinking if they listened to all that 90's shyt for a month, they would feel better. And I don't know which one is upstream or downstream of the other, music/culture/labels/artists, but it's pretty apparent to me. The music reflects the times.

 

[re'up]

Dont forget, IG MAJOR update that initially had many u in arms but them going from chronological order feed to Algorithm based one was a game changer also.. In early 2016. There is a reason many feels things changed around that time, that has alot to do with it. Camera phones and broadband like speed introduced on wireless also happened around that mid 2010's..

Instagram, all social media are poison. Like straight up poison. I wouldn't even know what positive to say about it.

When you get real into the behavioral modification/dopamine reward/feedback loop, it's just an addiction, but no one will say that yet.

It's an addiction, and it's harmful. No equivication. When you look at Jonathan Haidts studies and books, and he talks about a phone based life, and other phrases like smartphone culture, that's exactly what we talk about in here, a lot of the time. The idea of a phone/APP

1: Influencing your thinking

2: Influencing your decisions

3: Becoming your basis for all decisions

 

[WIA20XX]

it's just an addiction, but no one will say that yet.

Read this book 12 years ago.

Folks been knowing (and profiting)

 

[Ohene]

When we were talking about music, I thought about that more, and went on like a three day listening binge, Jodeci, R. Kelly, Brain McKnight, The Isley Brothers, Janet Jackson, Keith Sweat, Mariah Carey, like all that. And even though I play them all the time, I was struck by how drenched in how romance it was, and how drenched in sex it was, when thinking about modern culture. I found some quote on Reddit about how the music back then had a focus on romantic relationships, the yearning, the passion, the romance. And the heartbreak. But it was rarely just an individualistic perspective, which seemed accurate to me.

And I don't listen to a lot of modern R&B, but I know enough, and I would say it is very focused on one person's experience, often framed negatively. A song like R.Kelly and Sparkle Be Careful, (this song sounds so reasonable in 2025) was a masterpiece, and a song like Drake and SZA Slime U Out is something I like. But a little of that goes a long way, and for a lot of people, that's all they hear. Who are the big stars? SZA? And a lot of imitators. Doja Cat, Dooechii. And the pop stars, like Sabrina Carpenter, the music is maybe "empowering", but compared to like 90's Janet, or Mariah, it's not uplifting.

Some of these women I know, who are like 30, they all seem to lack that romance, that kind of passion. I was thinking if they listened to all that 90's shyt for a month, they would feel better. And I don't know which one is upstream or downstream of the other, music/culture/labels/artists, but it's pretty apparent to me. The music reflects the times.

lol i told you breh. shyt was about nothing but simping, romance, heartbreak and baby making

negative tracks were like this



ill take this over 100% of current R&B

 

[Ohene]

GOAT R&B Record

 

[re'up]

lol i told you breh. shyt was about nothing but simping, romance, heartbreak and baby making

negative tracks were like this



ill take this over 100% of current R&B

Oh that's a classic. So mild and sensible compared to what we hear now. Not to mention beautifully produced, it's not Devante Swing, but it's instrumental and soulful. Even those lines point to a kind bittersweetness, when we were together, we never turned our back on one another.

 

[re'up]

Read this book 12 years ago.

Folks been knowing (and profiting)

Right, I know his work. He's been saying this since around then. I want to say he was an engineer. How did you feel after reading the book, back in 2014? that Sean Parker quote, where he says

• “The thought process that went into building these applications, Facebook being the first of them, … was all about: ‘How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?'”
• “And that means that we need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once in a while, because someone liked or commented on a photo or a post or whatever. And that’s going to get you to contribute more content, and that’s going to get you … more likes and comments.”
• “It’s a social-validation feedback loop … exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
• “The inventors, creators — it’s me, it’s Mark [Zuckerberg], it’s Kevin Systrom on Instagram, it’s all of these people — understood this consciously. And we did it anyway.”

I say on here all the time, I never had ONE social media app, not one. But it's not like I knew better back in 2007. I couldn't even give a straight answer as to why I didn't get one. Everyone I knew was on it. But, I don't doubt it would have hooked me too, for at least a period of significant time. I was so ignorant of social media, I didn't even see or realize it's power for a long time.

In 2014, I started noticing everyone on their phones all the time, and I was like are they all making money like that? Are they fukking with that many men/women? I'd have my Blackberry and IPhone, and wasn't on it like that. It was all foreign to me. Around 2017, I used to access Instagram through google, and at the time, it was pretty close to what the app was like, but I remember how an hour would just pass like 5 minutes, going from one profile to another. People I knew 15 years ago. Their friends. Their bullshyt. Their friends friends. Super addicting. A cycle of nothingness.

 

[WIA20XX]

In 2014, I started noticing everyone on their phones all the time, and I was like are they all making money like that? Are they fukking with that many men/women? I'd have my Blackberry and IPhone, and wasn't on it like that. It was all foreign to me. Around 2017, I used to access Instagram through google, and at the time, it was pretty close to what the app was like, but I remember how an hour would just pass like 5 minutes, going from one profile to another. People I knew 15 years ago. Their friends. Their bullshyt. Their friends friends. Super addicting. A cycle of nothingness.

I knew he was right. I was/and still am addicted to "long form" internet.
It took me FOREVER to get on FB, and I left 4 years later.

But it's the phone that makes it so powerful.

There were plenty of times in the 2010's when I would forget my phone at home.

Now I can't even imagine it. No music? No google maps? No Coli?

It trips me out to see people use Zelle, but also Apple/Android pay. Now they're using it for the train, instead of a fare card.

And I'm Gen X! I remember a time before all this. I remember folks telling me about arguments they were having online...and getting worked up about it.

These cats that grew up with social media in College? High School? Middle School? Grade school?...

All signs point to these killer apps and hardware being worse on women than on men, but they're bad for both AND their social lives are now governed by it.

It's funny cause I remember parents and grand parents telling me that TV would rot my brain out.

 

[Silkk]

These Biitches Retarded........

 

[WIA20XX]

Dont forget, IG MAJOR update that initially had many u in arms but them going from chronological order feed to Algorithm based one was a game changer also.. In early 2016. There is a reason many feels things changed around that time, that has alot to do with it. Camera phones and broadband like speed introduced on wireless also happened around that mid 2010's..

All this tech to make our lives easier and entertain us - but we all feel worse, or affected by people feeling worse - which brings us down whether we want to be down or not.

 

[re'up]

I knew he was right. I was/and still am addicted to "long form" internet.
It took me FOREVER to get on FB, and I left 4 years later.

But it's the phone that makes it so powerful.

There were plenty of times in the 2010's when I would forget my phone at home.

Now I can't even imagine it. No music? No google maps? No Coli?

It trips me out to see people use Zelle, but also Apple/Android pay. Now they're using it for the train, instead of a fare card.

And I'm Gen X! I remember a time before all this. I remember folks telling me about arguments they were having online...and getting worked up about it.

These cats that grew up with social media in College? High School? Middle School? Grade school?...

All signs point to these killer apps and hardware being worse on women than on men, but they're bad for both AND their social lives are now governed by it.

It's funny cause I remember parents and grand parents telling me that TV would rot my brain out.

These kids, all they have is a phone. No wallet, no money, no keys. Just a phone. That was tech's goal, is for the phone to centralize everything.

I've never had The Coli/SOHH on my phone. I only post from my IMac at home, since always. Again, I don't even know why that is, or why I decided that. I felt like I was already on the internet too much when I was around 22. And it was really just desktop on SOHH and reading the news. Around 2008, I remember saying to my boy who got the first IPhone, I already feel like I am on the internet too much, why would I need an IPhone? What a fukking delusion.

I grew up walking to school with a Discman/walkman, and always had headphones, but when I took out the AirPods about 3 years ago, it feels a lot better. I hear the birds, I hear background noise, pieces of conversations, and I am not tapping and clicking, which is the most important.

Those few times I binged IG through google, I remember feeling weird, like snapping out of a trance. I could have gone on forever, and that's without liking a post. it was 10:00 PM and I'd spent 2 hours on the couch looking up people who I haven't spoken to in years, going through all their mundane details. It felt vaguely gross. I can only imagine spending hours a day doing that and the cognitive affect it must have.

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

Right, I know his work. He's been saying this since around then. I want to say he was an engineer. How did you feel after reading the book, back in 2014? that Sean Parker quote, where he says

• “The thought process that went into building these applications, Facebook being the first of them, … was all about: ‘How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?'”
• “And that means that we need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once in a while, because someone liked or commented on a photo or a post or whatever. And that’s going to get you to contribute more content, and that’s going to get you … more likes and comments.”
• “It’s a social-validation feedback loop … exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
• “The inventors, creators — it’s me, it’s Mark [Zuckerberg], it’s Kevin Systrom on Instagram, it’s all of these people — understood this consciously. And we did it anyway.”

I say on here all the time, I never had ONE social media app, not one. But it's not like I knew better back in 2007. I couldn't even give a straight answer as to why I didn't get one. Everyone I knew was on it. But, I don't doubt it would have hooked me too, for at least a period of significant time. I was so ignorant of social media, I didn't even see or realize it's power for a long time.

In 2014, I started noticing everyone on their phones all the time, and I was like are they all making money like that? Are they fukking with that many men/women? I'd have my Blackberry and IPhone, and wasn't on it like that. It was all foreign to me. Around 2017, I used to access Instagram through google, and at the time, it was pretty close to what the app was like, but I remember how an hour would just pass like 5 minutes, going from one profile to another. People I knew 15 years ago. Their friends. Their bullshyt. Their friends friends. Super addicting. A cycle of nothingness.

The Attention Economy....... I forget the specific article, but I read it...... damn... it has already been 8 years....... I had been on IG for about 2 years prior to that and everything encapsulated in that book above I was noticing but not having the language to describe the phenomena..... after reading said article and a convergence of life events (mom passing) I shut them all down....

I knew he was right. I was/and still am addicted to "long form" internet.
It took me FOREVER to get on FB, and I left 4 years later.

But it's the phone that makes it so powerful.

There were plenty of times in the 2010's when I would forget my phone at home.

Now I can't even imagine it. No music? No google maps? No Coli?

It trips me out to see people use Zelle, but also Apple/Android pay. Now they're using it for the train, instead of a fare card.

And I'm Gen X! I remember a time before all this. I remember folks telling me about arguments they were having online...and getting worked up about it.

These cats that grew up with social media in College? High School? Middle School? Grade school?...

All signs point to these killer apps and hardware being worse on women than on men, but they're bad for both AND their social lives are now governed by it.

It's funny cause I remember parents and grand parents telling me that TV would rot my brain out.

I'm a millenial. My gen is the bridge between the time before and after..... It is wild because I rememeber clearly the days before this terminally online era and the depedence that grew. I am an older millenial so oberserving the change even within the millenial demographic, particularly my brother's cohort who are 10yrs younger and the manner in which they are addicted to their phones.

One of the startling things to me is when you take public transit, put your phone away, just be present in the moment, and observe...... the behaviour of all around you. The vice grip hold that these devices have on individuals is alarming...

 

[WIA20XX]

With chicks being natives/creatures of the web - engaging them in real life (and only real life) becomes that much more important.