The scary thing is the number of guys who don't know that. I'd have friends and acquaintances asking me how I was doing so well at dating.
They would rarely get dates, but when they did, they'd go out with a chick and get rejected; they never try and kiss a chick. They never attempt to break the touch barrier. They try and be a perfect gentleman, as that's what we've been taught, but sometimes a man has to be clear about what he wants. All this holding back comes across as indecisive to a lot of women.
The number of women who told me it turned them on that I made a reservation for drinks and sent them the details of where we're meeting and what time.
Now that doesn't mean strong-arming a chick. I just let a woman know I'm interested in her mentally and physically. The more I dated, the more I picked up on energy right away.
I could always tell when a date was going to go badly. As a chick's energy in person is all messed up.
I used to do the dinner invite, but learned, why do I want to take the risk of sitting down for a meal with a woman I may find absolutely boring or who is looking to get fed.
It's why I shifted to meeting for drinks. I can bail if the date goes downhill. A chick who insists on dinner as a first date can go kick rocks. I tell my guy friends never to fall for that shyt. If a chick is interested, a coffee date will work, I mean, we're supposed to be seeing if we vibe. We don't need dinner for that.
Dinner is only for women I've had sex with. As at least I know I enjoy their company.
I have a memory from years ago, like 2017, this girl on a first date, she was like that was
just so assertive, because I texted her the day of the date, saying I made a reservation for 7:00, whats your address?
And I was like thinking how the fukk else are we going to do this? But, what's not assertive, is texting all the time, being indecisive, asking her what she wants too much. And I hadn't texted her since we met. But, this was back when you could do that lol
For me, a lot of the time, there's attraction, there's some intellectual/social connection, like we can have a convo, but what I try to assess, is like a level of sexuality. There's a neighbor of mine, who is 100% gorgeous, crazy body, but my read on her is like how do we end up in bed? What would her reaction be if I just went for it, like an outright suggestion? I used to think because someone was physically attractive to me, they were also
interested in sex, sex for pleasure, sex as pleasure, which is me projecting. Not that they never have it, or never want it, but that they like it. They are passionate about it. It's not simply a box to check.