You’re clear on what you want, which is good, however with these women, it seems like you’re aiming with clarity a little too hard and those older women, move slower and value control.
The older divorcees aren’t confused, they just want desire without pressure and excitement without fallout. They want discretion & When it stops feeling discreet or safe, they dip. The banker didn’t reject you, she just slowed you down. “I’m flattered” means you passed, but she’s not blowing up her life for intensity without direction. Which is why she’s taking up the older man. You want to move with circumspection.
The pitbull woman is actually the best shot if you don’t overplay it. She’s not arrogant, she’s guarded and evaluating. Don’t announce the end goal or pitch a situationship. You just lead calmly: ask her out, keep it intentional, let the tension build.
Say to her: “I like you. I don’t date casually forever, but I also don’t rush things. Let’s get a drink and see if we actually enjoy each other”
That way you don’t lose polarity. You frame and she steps in. You’re good at this & know this. Boss babes want to just “let go” & “turn their brains off”