Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[MikelArteta]

We all think damn it sucks, we've been cheated on, we've been replaced so quickly. Damn I was stupid, damn i did all this for her and this how she repaid me, we hate her!!!! But if she were to text and show up on our front door apologizing saying she loved us yeah we can act strong and ish but most would allow her to come in, most would give another chance .

That's why I preach the message I do, I'm all for putting yourself first and getting over this as quickly as possible. Secondly Just because she has another man, just because the perception is being portrayed that she is happy doesn't mean she is. However that message gives dudes hope as your like that new guy wont treat her as good as I did and ish Kill that.

People can say whatever they want about me, I don't hate women and never have, have i been bitter and angry at women? Yes of course but if people knew a shred of the sthings women who have told me they love me and would never hurt me did you'd understand, however enough with the sob stories and woe is me but I've been through everything. I'm talking about waiting two weeks for HIV results, getting chlaymdia, gnorhhea, trichomonis, abortion behind my back, pregnancy pinned on me, credit card maxed out, lending money and never getting it back, reading explicit text messages between my girl and the dude she was cheating on me with, getting dumped when I was sick and a week later seeing a long ass email sent to another man, sent wedding pictures from my ex fiance to rub it in my face, my ex gloating her engagement in my home right in front of my face , days and nights, weeks and months memories in my head from teh moment I woke up till i went to sleep and well I got over it.

IF i instituted the steps I took earlier I would have gotten over it even quicker.

Thats why I advocate ZERO CONTACT, NO SNOOPING,tell all mutual friends dont even mention the ex to you, hell I even changed my email and my phone number to close all the gates of access, even if you mope around and do nothing time the great healer every day those thoughts will get less BUT BUT if you are not fully healed, all it takes is a text message, all it takes is one look at instagram or twitter, or facebook and your right back at square 1.

I've been there snooping on fb day after day, clicking new nikkaz that were added like some spineless sap, looking at my phone every day hoping she would text and all that, till i slapped myself, FIGHT IT.

Will your ex dissappear or will you forget? Nope, but its like when you were a kid and broke your leg or something, you can remember breaking your leg and the cast but you cant really remember the pain, once you reach that point

Regardless of how harsh it may seem, right now if your ex is even average looking is prob snapchatting a dude, out at a club, sucking dikk, getting it doggystyle, texting different dudes, having the tingles for one dude, while you sit thinking of her, she ain't thinking of you in the way you are thinking of her.

and sad to sy there was NOTHING SPECIAL about any of our exes, yeah they may have been beautiful, yeah maybe we loved them etc. but there is nothing special about them NOTHING. It's easy as hell finding women who will break your heart, or women who don't want to be with you and will reject you hell there on every corner, every dating site, every mall. Just think back there was a day you never even knew this chick exicted and your life was fine it will be fine again soon brehs .

 

[FatherSimp]

This is my first time asking advice from an internet forum but fukk it the coli hasn't really let me down some useful advice. So me and my girl been going thru it lately(we been together almost a year now) breakups, getting back together, you know the usual shyt couples go thru. So she's fed up with me being ungrateful and only doing shyt when I want to(her words) me I'm fed up with every time something doesn't go her way she wants to breakup and shyt. I gotta run after her and fight for this relationship fight for another chance and shyt.

It's annoying anyway she gave me another chance and we was working it out(spend Christmas day with her and shyt was smooth). She hits me up like 2 hours talking oh I thought we agreed not to follow each others friends on instagram but I see you liking pics and leaving comments and shyt on her page(first off it was one pic and it was her friend and mother together so I commented yall cute thats it). I'm like its one pic she like i guess thats you doing you so I'm do me now and honestly you can't be my man anymore I'm done goodbye. I'm like off just one pic really whatever goodbye then.

The fukked up situation is she's great girl(got her bachelors, working in her field, doesn't party every weekend, got plans for her future, understands I'm broke and doesn't stress me about it) she's was the one I actually had thoughts of marrying five years in the future. I wanna make it right beacuse I love this girl but at the same time i want to get my shyt together and also I'm fed up with me always running back to her saying baby I'm sorry take me back.

 

[ProfessionallyTrill]

This is my first time asking advice from an internet forum but fukk it the coli hasn't really let me down some useful advice. So me and my girl been going thru it lately(we been together almost a year now) breakups, getting back together, you know the usual shyt couples go thru. So she's fed up with me being ungrateful and only doing shyt when I want to(her words) me I'm fed up with every time something doesn't go her way she wants to breakup and shyt. I gotta run after her and fight for this relationship fight for another chance and shyt.

It's annoying anyway she gave me another chance and we was working it out(spend Christmas day with her and shyt was smooth). She hits me up like 2 hours talking oh I thought we agreed not to follow each others friends on instagram but I see you liking pics and leaving comments and shyt on her page(first off it was one pic and it was her friend and mother together so I commented yall cute thats it). I'm like its one pic she like i guess thats you doing you so I'm do me now and honestly you can't be my man anymore I'm done goodbye. I'm like off just one pic really whatever goodbye then.

The fukked up situation is she's great girl(got her bachelors, working in her field, doesn't party every weekend, got plans for her future, understands I'm broke and doesn't stress me about it) she's was the one I actually had thoughts of marrying five years in the future. I wanna make it right beacuse I love this girl but at the same time i want to get my shyt together and also I'm fed up with me always running back to her saying baby I'm sorry take me back.

Red flags of "this won't end well"

 

[FatherSimp]

Red flags of "this won't end well"

Same shyt I'm saying it's probably better to just end it here and move on

 

[kaiOogway]

look on the bright side jesus is always there for you young man

 

[kaiOogway]

Looks like we both ready for that new 2015 stable

Its a good look tho new start new hoes I hope

 

[kevm3]

I'm wondering when this shyt gets better man. I'm starting to think chillin with this new girl isn't the right thing for me right now (probably not fair to her either). I still can't believe my girl would do that to me. I've been feeling sick to my stomach and everything. Every time someone asks me if I'm doin okay I just feel like sitting in a corner and crying. I guess I'm weak. Trying to take my mind off things but it hasn't worked yet. I haven't spoken to her since though and like I said I don't plan on it.

It takes time to let the emotions clear up, but you were fine before you met her an you will be fine after. Going through a situation like this definitely makes you stronger in the future. Keep your head up bruh. God bless.

 

[kevm3]

I'm going to have to read that book. Do you have any recommendations on books about entrepreneurship?

As of this moment, I haven't really dove too deeply into entrepreneurship reading, but this book seems to have great reviews:

www.amazon.com/Entrepreneur-Mind-Essential-Characteristics-Entrepreneurs/dp/0988479702/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1419752954&sr=8-1&keywords=entrepreneurship

 

[kevm3]

AY @kevm3 I'm curious, what is your current situation with women?

Have you been single all this time? Like do you date at all? How do you meet women? Are you open-minded if the right one comes along?Like I said, I'm just curious how you manage all this stuff in today's society.

Like I know @Emperor_ReinScarf , despite his jadedness, still dates. But I've been reading your posts for years and never hear you mention any particular ladies.

I'm a private person in general and rarely share much about my personal life, but as far as my current situation on women? I'm single and enjoying it..

I prefer to meet women through friends and acquaintances, or maybe a setting like school or some such event. I'm not really into just approaching women out of the blue. The type of women I connect most are the intellectual type, and I've only had a few of those that I've come across, but with those, the conversations were great.

How do I manage with women in this day and age? As of right now, I don't. I'm not very focused on women right now. I'm way more focused on moving into this programming career and possibly moving out of this country. Personally, I'm looking for a woman that I can build a life with, but looking at the current dating scene, I'm not too keen on my prospects. I just find it very hard to invest much effort or emotions into some particular woman when I know how a lot of them operate. If I found that one that I really connected with and was loyal, yeah, I'd make moves with her, but otherwise, I don't particularly care too much about it all.

Some may think that's a negative attitude, but honestly, I'm very happy not having to worry about what my woman is doing and I realized you have to look at the reality of the situation, not what you want it to be. Most women have countless options, which they ARE utilizing, and I simply don't care to put in all of this effort to be 'one of many.' With anything, I'm VERY picky, so I have no problem withholding until I can get the quality I desire. This includes women. More than anything, I've learned just how rare loyalty is.

Like many of you, I racked my brain trying to figure out how to keep a woman loyal. What did I need to do? What my experiences have taught me is that you can't make a woman loyal through actions of your own. Either it's in her or it's not. Being realistic, I have a very calm and mellow personality and I prefer to stay away from drama and I avoid creating it. That fact alone makes me boring to a lot of women, hence inevitably resulting in them cheating. The women that did really like me, they were so into me it became suffocating, so I had to let them go. I'm at the point where I'm fine being by myself and I'd love to have a woman that fits into how I am because I certainly am not changing to fabricate drama for her.

 

[kevm3]

A point in life that you can come across that is quite beautiful is where you stop second-guessing yourself. One of the most cherished things you can have as you get older is 'peace of mind.' Essentially, that is where you can sit back and live a day without worrying about too much of anything, especially women. When I was younger, I used to second-guess myself all of the time, which led to all of the morphing tactics and trying to figure out what women like. It may give you short-term benefits with a woman, as you are her latest round of entertainment, but ultimately, it leaves you confused and you will constantly wonder 'what should I do next?'... and as soon as she gets bored, all of that effort was for naught as she's on to her next round of entertainment. Now, my philosophy is, I really don't care to appease women or to step outside of who I am to garner their attention. Either you like what I'm offering or you can get on.

In this modern age, I simply don't like the context in which you have to deal with the average woman. It's like you have to fight your natural feelings as a man when dealing with a woman you like and essentially dampen your emotions. To keep them interested, often you have to ice her out and be somewhat distant or you have to provide that drama rollercoaster. I'm simply not going to waste all of this time creating artificial situations to keep someone around.

What I'm looking for in a woman is one that fits into MY lifestyle, meaning I'm not going to constantly review my actions to determine whether I'm doing what she likes or what is acceptable to her. It may result in me being single for a long period of time, and honestly, I'm quite fine with that. I really don't have time to waste worrying about whether I'm too generous, not generous enough, too caring, not caring enough or whatever other nonsense. Honestly, the key in my opinion, is to only deal with a woman if she adds VALUE to your life. A lot of guys just deal with women just to be dealing with them and end up with a huge headache. If she's bringing drama, flakiness, a gang of 'male homies', 'cousins', and 'just a friends', I'm not going to bother.

The reality? Women constantly have messages all throughout society telling them to 'explore their options', to 'seek happiness and find themselves', ' to wild out in their 20s'. They have countless options of dudes to do that with. The relationship label means very little to many women nowadays. It just means you're the safe option, aka the guy to hit up for some cuddling or some finances. It's incredibly hard 'building' with a woman in an environment like that. We've spoken of loyalty. If superstars with some of the best physiques in the world, fame and millions of dollars can be cheated on, so can you and I. Embracing realism, I can't force any of these women to change. If it's not in her nature, then she's not going to be loyal. Modern women simply are not told to find a decent man and build with him. Look at all of modern entertainment and the messages they are sending women. Women also don't get punished for their actions until they are in their 30s and their beauty fades and they can't get the attention they once got without a proboem.

A lot of you guys are stressing and blaming yourself or allowing the woman to shift blame on you for her infidelities. A lot of us just want that simple lifestyle where you do what a traditional man is supposed to do, but in this day and age, a lot of women will look at that as someone to avoid because it's 'too boring' or look at you as some sort of financial come-up while she has her entertainment on the side. The thought of 'building' with a woman almost seems like a fantasy except in a rare, few cases. A lot of you guys seem to be blaming yourselves and wondering what actions you should have done to have kept her loyal. I've been there. Ultimately, that line of thinking is a waste of time. Loyal people are loyal of their own volition. As long as they are treated decently, they don't need anything more to return loyalty. The reality is that most people in this day and age aren't loyal, and it makes it easy to blame ourselves because we come across so many women that engage in the same awful pattern of behavior (cheating, flaking, etc.) that we think that something is wrong with us. It's not you. We're just living in a degenerate society when it comes to dating. Stop blaming yourself, stop changing up and stop stressing out over women.

 

[MikelArteta]

A point in life that you can come across that is quite beautiful is where you stop second-guessing yourself. One of the most cherished things you can have as you get older is 'peace of mind.' Essentially, that is where you can sit back and live a day without worrying about too much of anything, especially women. When I was younger, I used to second-guess myself all of the time, which led to all of the morphing tactics and trying to figure out what women like. It may give you short-term benefits with a woman, as you are her latest round of entertainment, but ultimately, it leaves you confused and you will constantly wonder 'what should I do next?'... and as soon as she gets bored, all of that effort was for naught as she's on to her next round of entertainment. Now, my philosophy is, I really don't care to appease women or to step outside of who I am to garner their attention. Either you like what I'm offering or you can get on.

In this modern age, I simply don't like the context in which you have to deal with the average woman. It's like you have to fight your natural feelings as a man when dealing with a woman you like and essentially dampen your emotions. To keep them interested, often you have to ice her out and be somewhat distant or you have to provide that drama rollercoaster. I'm simply not going to waste all of this time creating artificial situations to keep someone around.

What I'm looking for in a woman is one that fits into MY lifestyle, meaning I'm not going to constantly review my actions to determine whether I'm doing what she likes or what is acceptable to her. It may result in me being single for a long period of time, and honestly, I'm quite fine with that. I really don't have time to waste worrying about whether I'm too generous, not generous enough, too caring, not caring enough or whatever other nonsense. Honestly, the key in my opinion, is to only deal with a woman if she adds VALUE to your life. A lot of guys just deal with women just to be dealing with them and end up with a huge headache. If she's bringing drama, flakiness, a gang of 'male homies', 'cousins', and 'just a friends', I'm not going to bother.

The reality? Women constantly have messages all throughout society telling them to 'explore their options', to 'seek happiness and find themselves', ' to wild out in their 20s'. They have countless options of dudes to do that with. The relationship label means very little to many women nowadays. It just means you're the safe option, aka the guy to hit up for some cuddling or some finances. It's incredibly hard 'building' with a woman in an environment like that. We've spoken of loyalty. If superstars with some of the best physiques in the world, fame and millions of dollars can be cheated on, so can you and I. Embracing realism, I can't force any of these women to change. If it's not in her nature, then she's not going to be loyal. Modern women simply are not told to find a decent man and build with him. Look at all of modern entertainment and the messages they are sending women. Women also don't get punished for their actions until they are in their 30s and their beauty fades and they can't get the attention they once got without a proboem.

A lot of you guys are stressing and blaming yourself or allowing the woman to shift blame on you for her infidelities. A lot of us just want that simple lifestyle where you do what a traditional man is supposed to do, but in this day and age, a lot of women will look at that as someone to avoid because it's 'too boring' or look at you as some sort of financial come-up while she has her entertainment on the side. The thought of 'building' with a woman almost seems like a fantasy except in a rare, few cases. A lot of you guys seem to be blaming yourselves and wondering what actions you should have done to have kept her loyal. I've been there. Ultimately, that line of thinking is a waste of time. Loyal people are loyal of their own volition. As long as they are treated decently, they don't need anything more to return loyalty. The reality is that most people in this day and age aren't loyal, and it makes it easy to blame ourselves because we come across so many women that engage in the same awful pattern of behavior (cheating, flaking, etc.) that we think that something is wrong with us. It's not you. We're just living in a degenerate society when it comes to dating. Stop blaming yourself, stop changing up and stop stressing out over women.

I feel the same way, it just doesn't feel worth it to go through all these hoops etc. for just a little high that probably won't last

 

[Turbulent]

This is my first time asking advice from an internet forum but fukk it the coli hasn't really let me down some useful advice. So me and my girl been going thru it lately(we been together almost a year now) breakups, getting back together, you know the usual shyt couples go thru. So she's fed up with me being ungrateful and only doing shyt when I want to(her words) me I'm fed up with every time something doesn't go her way she wants to breakup and shyt. I gotta run after her and fight for this relationship fight for another chance and shyt.

It's annoying anyway she gave me another chance and we was working it out(spend Christmas day with her and shyt was smooth). She hits me up like 2 hours talking oh I thought we agreed not to follow each others friends on instagram but I see you liking pics and leaving comments and shyt on her page(first off it was one pic and it was her friend and mother together so I commented yall cute thats it). I'm like its one pic she like i guess thats you doing you so I'm do me now and honestly you can't be my man anymore I'm done goodbye. I'm like off just one pic really whatever goodbye then.

The fukked up situation is she's great girl(got her bachelors, working in her field, doesn't party every weekend, got plans for her future, understands I'm broke and doesn't stress me about it) she's was the one I actually had thoughts of marrying five years in the future. I wanna make it right beacuse I love this girl but at the same time i want to get my shyt together and also I'm fed up with me always running back to her saying baby I'm sorry take me back.

her having her bachelor and her job don't make her a great girl breh.

a few things. your girl wants you to serve her, to adore her, to kiss her ass. she says you,re ungrateful and only do shyt when you feel like it. that's why she keeps breaking up with you so that you start chasing after her. sounds annoying as fukk to be honest. you should completely forget the concept of "your girl giving you a chance" she's playing mind tricks on you breh but you're enabling it.

as far as your argument...you shouldn't have made a stupid promise like that to her (not to like pics of friends) but once you make the promise, you should keep it. so you fukked up in that sense. the reason i say you shouldn't have made that deal with her is that the deal was clearly born out of her trying to manipulate you. it wasn't righteous. when she said she will do her because you're doing you, you can already tell she isn't righteous. she's vindictive. if she was really about the relationship, she would be trying to fix it in a respectful way. but again i gotta give it to you straight, she's acting that way cause you're not instructing her right, you're not leading by example either. You're allowing her to feel like she's better than you because she got a better job than you breh.

I won't tell you if you should try to work things out with her or just leave her be (i'd just let it be but that's based on my personality and temperament). what i will tell you though is that at this point she doesn't respect you and that you need to get your mind right as far as who you are really, what you need to improve about yourself and what your value is to yourself. keep building breh!

 

[Cabbage Patch]

"As a young minister I wouldn’t have considered it possible for me to love any woman. I had too much experience that women were only tricky, deceitful, untrustworthy flesh. I had seen too many men ruined or tied down, or in some other way messed up by women. Women talk too much, and to tell a woman not to talk too much, would be like telling Jesse James not to carry a gun, or telling a hen not to cackle. Can you imagine Jesse James without a gun, or a hen that didn’t cackle, and for anyone in leadership or position as I am. The worst thing in the world that a man could have, is the wrong woman. Samson was destroyed by the woman that slept in his arms. It had been 10 years since I thought anything about a woman or a mistress, and as a minister now I was thinking even less about getting a wife------"

- Malcolm X

But then he met the Queen Goddess?

 

[Ohene]

This is my first time asking advice from an internet forum but fukk it the coli hasn't really let me down some useful advice. So me and my girl been going thru it lately(we been together almost a year now) breakups, getting back together, you know the usual shyt couples go thru. So she's fed up with me being ungrateful and only doing shyt when I want to(her words) me I'm fed up with every time something doesn't go her way she wants to breakup and shyt. I gotta run after her and fight for this relationship fight for another chance and shyt.

It's annoying anyway she gave me another chance and we was working it out(spend Christmas day with her and shyt was smooth). She hits me up like 2 hours talking oh I thought we agreed not to follow each others friends on instagram but I see you liking pics and leaving comments and shyt on her page(first off it was one pic and it was her friend and mother together so I commented yall cute thats it). I'm like its one pic she like i guess thats you doing you so I'm do me now and honestly you can't be my man anymore I'm done goodbye. I'm like off just one pic really whatever goodbye then.

The fukked up situation is she's great girl(got her bachelors, working in her field, doesn't party every weekend, got plans for her future, understands I'm broke and doesn't stress me about it) she's was the one I actually had thoughts of marrying five years in the future. I wanna make it right beacuse I love this girl but at the same time i want to get my shyt together and also I'm fed up with me always running back to her saying baby I'm sorry take me back.

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUUH! This is exactly me and my ex

 

[Ohene]

I'm a private person in general and rarely share much about my personal life, but as far as my current situation on women? I'm single and enjoying it..

I prefer to meet women through friends and acquaintances, or maybe a setting like school or some such event. I'm not really into just approaching women out of the blue. The type of women I connect most are the intellectual type, and I've only had a few of those that I've come across, but with those, the conversations were great.

How do I manage with women in this day and age? As of right now, I don't. I'm not very focused on women right now. I'm way more focused on moving into this programming career and possibly moving out of this country. Personally, I'm looking for a woman that I can build a life with, but looking at the current dating scene, I'm not too keen on my prospects. I just find it very hard to invest much effort or emotions into some particular woman when I know how a lot of them operate. If I found that one that I really connected with and was loyal, yeah, I'd make moves with her, but otherwise, I don't particularly care too much about it all.

Some may think that's a negative attitude, but honestly, I'm very happy not having to worry about what my woman is doing and I realized you have to look at the reality of the situation, not what you want it to be. Most women have countless options, which they ARE utilizing, and I simply don't care to put in all of this effort to be 'one of many.' With anything, I'm VERY picky, so I have no problem withholding until I can get the quality I desire. This includes women. More than anything, I've learned just how rare loyalty is.

Like many of you, I racked my brain trying to figure out how to keep a woman loyal. What did I need to do? What my experiences have taught me is that you can't make a woman loyal through actions of your own. Either it's in her or it's not. Being realistic, I have a very calm and mellow personality and I prefer to stay away from drama and I avoid creating it. That fact alone makes me boring to a lot of women, hence inevitably resulting in them cheating. The women that did really like me, they were so into me it became suffocating, so I had to let them go. I'm at the point where I'm fine being by myself and I'd love to have a woman that fits into how I am because I certainly am not changing to fabricate drama for her.

where do you hope to take your programming fam? entrepreneurship or working for a fortune 500/startup?

i only ask because I'm in the midst of creating a website/app myself with my brother and a friend. My homie's the one with the programming aptitude and also works for a start up: https://www.tenthousandcoffees.com/