I know breh. It's like I rather be good with seeing her here and there than taking the chances of vanishing and seeing if it's really real.
Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
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I know breh. It's like I rather be good with seeing her here and there than taking the chances of vanishing and seeing if it's really real.
The point of "vanishing" isn't some elaborate trick to ultimately get her back, it's a method for you to dust your shoulders off so to speak and ultimately get out of the spell you are in. Once you dedicate time to yourself and start dealing with other women, she'll notice and by then you'll have a *choice* in how you deal with her. if you stay strong, she'll be the one trying to work things out and whatnot, not you. You win because now you have multiple prospects and she'll be actually "in love" with you again and not just someone who "cares" about you.
If you keep pestering her and telling her you love her, it will counter intuitively push her away even if she's saying she loves you back. Hell, you said yourself that she said she's drained when talking to you. What do you ultimately want from her?? Sex?? Hanging out buddy? Marriage?? What?? Worst thing that will happen is you'll keep up this dance with her for who knows how long and ultimately she'll be the one cutting you off and you'll sit there with a dumb look on your face wondering why she got cold even while y'all was "good" so to speak. Best save the heartache and time wasting now.
Don't. Just go cold turkey. its all about your ego man. Use this opportunity to better yourself and prove to her that she should've held you down. It's funny what reincar just said man...yesterday my first ex girlfriend actually texted me and that shyt didnt even move me. Home girl said she was checking up on me and the conversation didnt even go anywhere. She just asked how work was, I asked what was new and what her plans for the wknd were and thats it. it was like 3 or 4 back and forth messages...nothing less. I didnt even have her number saved...didnt even save it after.
You know nikkas be wanting to send that last tender goodbye lmao
I remember when we officially broke up I just kept it moving. That was a tough year. To give you an idea of how tough it was I was bumping Stevie Wonder, Stalley - Lincoln Way Nights, Currensy - Covert Coup and Kendrick Lamar - Section 80 more than anything. Stalley had this opening few bars for that tape:
A hustler told me you only hustle when you need to
And make sure you feed the streets, please don’t let them feed you
And don’t listen to them snakes, they’ll tell you anything to lead you right
In their garden so they could squeeze you
My girlfriend's name was "Eden" as in the garden of Eden. Do you know how fukkin real them bars were at the time to me???
I ended up getting fired from my factory job that same summer and it was uphill ever since. Didnt wish her well or anything. The next year i beasted in school with a 3.85 GPA and got a scholarship/internship. She ended up messaging me a year after right before i started the new internship and we still keep in touch really. Truth is we're still cool but them feelings are all the way gone. She's nothing but motivation now. You know how funny it is to be kicking it with a past gf and hear her talking about her ensuing, unfulfilling misfortunate relationships?
. One thing about me is that i know how to pick em and how to treat em. None of my exes (very small amount) can ever say anything negative about me for that reason. They know i'm that dude. It's your turn. Become that dude.
Don't. Just go cold turkey. its all about your ego man. Use this opportunity to better yourself and prove to her that she should've held you down. It's funny what reincar just said man...yesterday my first ex girlfriend actually texted me and that shyt didnt even move me. Home girl said she was checking up on me and the conversation didnt even go anywhere. She just asked how work was, I asked what was new and what her plans for the wknd were and thats it. it was like 3 or 4 back and forth messages...nothing less. I didnt even have her number saved...didnt even save it after.
I remember when we officially broke up I just kept it moving. That was a tough year. To give you an idea of how tough it was I was bumping Stevie Wonder, Stalley - Lincoln Way Nights, Currensy - Covert Coup and Kendrick Lamar - Section 80 more than anything. Stalley had this opening few bars for that tape:
A hustler told me you only hustle when you need to
And make sure you feed the streets, please don’t let them feed you
And don’t listen to them snakes, they’ll tell you anything to lead you right
In their garden so they could squeeze you
My girlfriend's name was "Eden" as in the garden of Eden. Do you know how fukkin real them bars were at the time to me???
I ended up getting fired from my factory job that same summer and it was uphill ever since. Didnt wish her well or anything. The next year i beasted in school with a 3.85 GPA and got a scholarship/internship. She ended up messaging me a year after right before i started the new internship and we still keep in touch really. Truth is we're still cool but them feelings are all the way gone. She's nothing but motivation now. You know how funny it is to be kicking it with a past gf and hear her talking about her ensuing, unfulfilling misfortunate relationships?
Yup, you never have to explain yourself it's your life. If someone doesn't want to be with you, you never have to explain why you won't accept their breadcrumbs or stay in touch.
And how many years ago was that? that you broke up? right on schedule like a flight. As long as you treated a woman decent and when it was over you left with your head held high even if you were
inside and went through the cold sweats and heartbreak and got over it, as time goes on she will always want to peak in whether by stalking your facebook or sending a message. Now you shouldn't wait around and hoping for this and usually by the time a ex pops back up your already on the next phase of your life and emotions have been killed that its more 
b_priest9mm
A work in progress...
Conquered my attention whore co-worker today. 
Needing her fix, she tried fishing on me today and I wasn't having it. She could tell and acted kinda like a cat would when it knows you're paying it no attention. She kept prodding though. Kept talking about nothing to get me to acknowledge her and eventually boost her ego. It's hilarious how obvious it all looks when you know what to look for. It got to the point where she played one of the oldest tricks in the book:
Her: You're hurting my feelings.
Me: You'll be alright.
She tried a few more times and I shut it down. I stood my ground and beyond the standard greeting that I give every co-worker, I made it clear that I wasn't fukkin' with her like that.
I'd like your input, but I feel like this is how I need to treat these attention whores and pretty much all girls until they prove otherwise. It's important to me to keep that energy for myself.
I realize that she will probably keep trying to prod, but today was a good first step.
Thing is though, since this keeps happening to me, obviously there's a constant and that's me. I don't think I'm at a level to attract REAL interest right now. I'm not the man I CAN be. So for now, it's back to focusing on myself. Hitting the gym hard and getting money are my concerns. I lost focus, won't happen again.
Until then, I'm on my own, and that's not such a bad thing.
Needing her fix, she tried fishing on me today and I wasn't having it. She could tell and acted kinda like a cat would when it knows you're paying it no attention. She kept prodding though. Kept talking about nothing to get me to acknowledge her and eventually boost her ego. It's hilarious how obvious it all looks when you know what to look for. It got to the point where she played one of the oldest tricks in the book:
Her: You're hurting my feelings.
Me: You'll be alright.
She tried a few more times and I shut it down. I stood my ground and beyond the standard greeting that I give every co-worker, I made it clear that I wasn't fukkin' with her like that.
I'd like your input, but I feel like this is how I need to treat these attention whores and pretty much all girls until they prove otherwise. It's important to me to keep that energy for myself.
I realize that she will probably keep trying to prod, but today was a good first step.
Thing is though, since this keeps happening to me, obviously there's a constant and that's me. I don't think I'm at a level to attract REAL interest right now. I'm not the man I CAN be. So for now, it's back to focusing on myself. Hitting the gym hard and getting money are my concerns. I lost focus, won't happen again.
Until then, I'm on my own, and that's not such a bad thing.
2011 was the breakupYup, you never have to explain yourself it's your life. If someone doesn't want to be with you, you never have to explain why you won't accept their breadcrumbs or stay in touch.
And how many years ago was that? that you broke up? right on schedule like a flight. As long as you treated a woman decent and when it was over you left with your head held high even if you were
As Fatboi mentioned vanishing isn't really some test to see if she comes around. Yes there is a portion of you that will think that way when you start, but as time goes on it starts to change. As time goes on you exit the mind frame your in, you detoxify yourself. You remove her from the pedestal you set her on. Yeah you may have cheated etc., but you will also remove her from this place of perfection and see her faults, and as time goes on and the days become weeks and months you'll reach that moment of peace with the decision.
I'm telling you man you can deal with the pain drop by drop or you can deal with it all at once I prefer option number 1. If you walk away now I guarantee in 3-6 months maybe a year you will look back and be thankful. Whether you are back together or just even single because you now have peace and clarity.
As well if a woman wants to be with you she will, time and distance apart means nothing.
Option 1 you message her every day or once in a while you do anything she want you appease to her trying to get back with = this is what you have been doing and what has happened? Absolutely nothing your still not with her and have wasted 2 months stuck in this same place.
option 2 you cease all communication, get yourself out of this rut of thinking, spend more time with your child, work on being a man, day by day you get out of this rut of thinking and she slowly starts to evaporate from your mind = she's still not with you but your no longer wasting your mind and thoughts and actions on someone who doesn't want you, instead you are working on yourself and becoming a better man, a man whose learning from the mistakes he made. Maybe she hits you up, maybe she doesn't but as time goes on you care about that less and less. If she hits you up cool your now at a place where you can think clearly and decide where do you want to go from here.
If she doesn't then cool as well the tumor in your head of her is shrinking day by day.
Because let me tell you something even if you stay in her life and do option 1, nothing is stopping her from talking to other dudes, nothing is stopping her from hopping in a new relationship because she owes you nothing and she is single. Just being around stops nothing if shes not with you
4 years later and still remembers the gawd
just like I've been saying, time and distance apart means NOTHING. As men we all get scared if we don't stay in touch or bla bla we will be forgotten. When in essence if you treat a woman good you will always be remembered
Don't. Just go cold turkey. its all about your ego man. Use this opportunity to better yourself and prove to her that she should've held you down. It's funny what reincar just said man...yesterday my first ex girlfriend actually texted me and that shyt didnt even move me. Home girl said she was checking up on me and the conversation didnt even go anywhere. She just asked how work was, I asked what was new and what her plans for the wknd were and thats it. it was like 3 or 4 back and forth messages...nothing less. I didnt even have her number saved...didnt even save it after.
I remember when we officially broke up I just kept it moving. That was a tough year. To give you an idea of how tough it was I was bumping Stevie Wonder, Stalley - Lincoln Way Nights, Currensy - Covert Coup and Kendrick Lamar - Section 80 more than anything. Stalley had this opening few bars for that tape:
A hustler told me you only hustle when you need to
And make sure you feed the streets, please don’t let them feed you
And don’t listen to them snakes, they’ll tell you anything to lead you right
In their garden so they could squeeze you
My girlfriend's name was "Eden" as in the garden of Eden. Do you know how fukkin real them bars were at the time to me???
I ended up getting fired from my factory job that same summer and it was uphill ever since. Didnt wish her well or anything. The next year i beasted in school with a 3.85 GPA and got a scholarship/internship. She ended up messaging me a year after right before i started the new internship and we still keep in touch really. Truth is we're still cool but them feelings are all the way gone. She's nothing but motivation now. You know how funny it is to be kicking it with a past gf and hear her talking about her ensuing, unfulfilling misfortunate relationships?
That was real...because I got fired a week ago.
Youseenmywork
KING
yo that dude Tony Gaskings is dropping some gemshe got these chicks eating from the palm of his hands
How you listeing to this i cant find his podcast ?
Rich Spirit
#LeveledUp
he has a youtube channel
@NerdNash
man listen. do the no contact thing. she'll probably wonder about u and end up hitting u up. when she does, and u two are alone together, u need to be a gadamn man and be assertive. grab her face. look directly at her and be like, listen, u and i belong together. i'm not perfect. but no one is. but damn it, i know one thing and u are my heart. i will not deal with these games anymore. we either get back together right this minute and u give us the chance to work this out one final time, OR u'll never hear from me again. im not willing to throw these last 7 years away.. if u are, then that is solely on u and it will be ur decision.
then wait for her decision right there. u need to stop all that lovey dovey bullsh1t and give this woman a fuccking ultimatum.
man listen. do the no contact thing. she'll probably wonder about u and end up hitting u up. when she does, and u two are alone together, u need to be a gadamn man and be assertive. grab her face. look directly at her and be like, listen, u and i belong together. i'm not perfect. but no one is. but damn it, i know one thing and u are my heart. i will not deal with these games anymore. we either get back together right this minute and u give us the chance to work this out one final time, OR u'll never hear from me again. im not willing to throw these last 7 years away.. if u are, then that is solely on u and it will be ur decision.
then wait for her decision right there. u need to stop all that lovey dovey bullsh1t and give this woman a fuccking ultimatum.
How to Develop Your Attraction to the Right Person
So I read this Psychology Today article that basically states that if you wait at least 5 dates for sex that you can cause an attraction to grow between you and your potential partner. Basically if a girl is sort of feeling you, maybe enough for sex, make her wait.
This is the result of me making this woman wait. We've been on 3 dates.
Brehs... Make these women wait. Why should the vagina always be the prize?
So I read this Psychology Today article that basically states that if you wait at least 5 dates for sex that you can cause an attraction to grow between you and your potential partner. Basically if a girl is sort of feeling you, maybe enough for sex, make her wait.
This is the result of me making this woman wait. We've been on 3 dates.
Brehs... Make these women wait. Why should the vagina always be the prize?
letti cook
Superstar
girl I've been seeing casually for about 4 months comes to my place last night to watch True Detective
I offer her a drink, a smoke, something to eat
she says she's not hungry, she got her own j, and no to the drink because if she starts drinking she'll have to spend the night
im like, "cool"
She asks me if Im hungry. I tell her "I'll probably cook something later."
She sideyes me like shyt.
She offers me the j. I tell her "Im good for now"
She sideyes me some more
I turn on a show she's been wanting to check out
She spends the first scene bytching about the show
By the second scene, she snaps and says im acting like I don't want her around
im like "I don't want you around? "I, the guy that had you come over 2 hours before true detective started so we could chill before..I, the guy that offered you wine, weed, and food?
turns out, she's mad cause when she turned down the drink, I didn't immediately give her the greenlight to stay over
thing is, she never stays over at my place
claims she doesn't sleep well at other peoples houses
she's literally never stayed nor wanted to stay
but all of sudden, she's "assuming" she was spending the night and mad at me for not making confirmation
this basically turned into her tryna punk me into inviting her to stay, to which I hit her with the
at that point, the vibe was merked. shyt was awkward as hell
she was there all of 15 minutes
10 minutes after leaving, she calls. I ignore.
Then she texts, saying "im coming back, please let me in"
I hit her with theagain
She then decides to sit in her car just in case in changed my mind. I didn't and she eventually got the point and bounced.
I sat up with the the rest of the night. What was I supposed to do?
I lightweight know what I was "supposed" to do. But why?
Just say you wanna stay over
whatever
just had to get that off my chest
I offer her a drink, a smoke, something to eat
she says she's not hungry, she got her own j, and no to the drink because if she starts drinking she'll have to spend the night
im like, "cool"
She asks me if Im hungry. I tell her "I'll probably cook something later."
She sideyes me like shyt.
She offers me the j. I tell her "Im good for now"
She sideyes me some more
I turn on a show she's been wanting to check out
She spends the first scene bytching about the show
By the second scene, she snaps and says im acting like I don't want her around
im like "I don't want you around? "I, the guy that had you come over 2 hours before true detective started so we could chill before..I, the guy that offered you wine, weed, and food?
turns out, she's mad cause when she turned down the drink, I didn't immediately give her the greenlight to stay over
thing is, she never stays over at my place
claims she doesn't sleep well at other peoples houses
she's literally never stayed nor wanted to stay
but all of sudden, she's "assuming" she was spending the night and mad at me for not making confirmation
this basically turned into her tryna punk me into inviting her to stay, to which I hit her with the
at that point, the vibe was merked. shyt was awkward as hell
she was there all of 15 minutes
10 minutes after leaving, she calls. I ignore.
Then she texts, saying "im coming back, please let me in"
I hit her with the
againShe then decides to sit in her car just in case in changed my mind. I didn't and she eventually got the point and bounced.
I sat up with the
the rest of the night. What was I supposed to do?I lightweight know what I was "supposed" to do. But why?
Just say you wanna stay over
whatever
just had to get that off my chest
eerieBell
All Star
girl I've been seeing casually for about 4 months comes to my place last night to watch True Detective
I offer her a drink, a smoke, something to eat
she says she's not hungry, she got her own j, and no to the drink because if she starts drinking she'll have to spend the night
im like, "cool"
She asks me if Im hungry. I tell her "I'll probably cook something later."
She sideyes me like shyt.
She offers me the j. I tell her "Im good for now"
She sideyes me some more
I turn on a show she's been wanting to check out
She spends the first scene bytching about the show
By the second scene, she snaps and says im acting like I don't want her around
im like "I don't want you around? "I, the guy that had you come over 2 hours before true detective started so we could chill before..I, the guy that offered you wine, weed, and food?
turns out, she's mad cause when she turned down the drink, I didn't immediately give her the greenlight to stay over
thing is, she never stays over at my place
claims she doesn't sleep well at other peoples houses
she's literally never stayed nor wanted to stay
but all of sudden, she's "assuming" she was spending the night and mad at me for not making confirmation
this basically turned into her tryna punk me into inviting her to stay, to which I hit her with the
at that point, the vibe was merked. shyt was awkward as hell
she was there all of 15 minutes
10 minutes after leaving, she calls. I ignore.
Then she texts, saying "im coming back, please let me in"
I hit her with the
She then decides to sit in her car just in case in changed my mind. I didn't and she eventually got the point and bounced.
I sat up with the
I lightweight know what I was "supposed" to do. But why?
Just say you wanna stay over
whatever
just had to get that off my chest
yes, she clearly wanted you to offer her to stay for the night, and that's what you were supposed to do
otherwise if she asked to stay it would be as if she's forcing you to stay for the night
basically, she wanted to stay and feel welcomed but wanted you to initiate and ask if she wants to stay, not the other way around
bytches are spoiled
