Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Rayzah]

Competition, that's exactly what I'm seeing with relationships. Which person offers the best deal etc etc. Lots of delusional individuals out there. [/B]

I'll say this I was in a long term relationship but been out of it for 4 years now. Getting back into the dating world was like entering the jungle with no gear, no survival skills what so ever. It's been a long journey, these past few years. I've gotten advice from female friends and relatives basically saying to be selfish but I can't be this way. I refuse to be. I'm 32 yrs old and dating today just seems so different with Facebook Instagram dating sites etc. It's an adjustment because some people are looking for unicorns, men and women, instead of being realistic. I do not believe in soulmates, practicality is what I base my relationship on. Is he mentally/emotionally stable, goal oriented, career/financially smart, values family and loyal/honesty. For example I dated a guy last year and he was ambitious, smart etcetera, my one friends gripe was that I could get a guy who looked better in the face...wth. She literally said I could get better bases on appearance. People are too focused on superficial attributes. Beauty is subjective. Character is what's important to me. Dating today, most seems to be out for self, in a not so good way.

EXACTLY, assuming you are a woman, this is how I felt about dating in the US, women seem to not have a realistic criteria when it comes to dating.. Like looks and status/money is only part of it, maybe 20-30% the rest is personality, and good character traits.. It's all good to want someone that is attractive but these chicks be like, oh well he is cute but he needs to work on his body or get a better job. but yet WE are the ones getting the superficial label..

Dating today is trash, social media is so fake and if you don't partake in it people find you weird or like your hiding something.

You talk to someone and there talking to ten other people


An issue pops up on the relationship depart and next. It's like being so rich that you buy a car and the first time it doesn't start or need a oil change or a little maintenance you just buy a new car and Toss that one to the curb, instead of doing work to strengthen the relationship

some will do that just based on disagreements.. I tend to think these people were never really into you in the first place, you were just better than nothing. My thing is if you feel that way than just say hey I am not looking for anything serious, lets just fukk... nope women cant be that simple

all i can say is time man, one thing I've learned over the years it doesn't matter your success getting women when all you want is one.

It's like applying to a bunch of schools and you get accepted but the one you really wanted to go to didn't accept you, yeah you have tons of options but you'll still feel disappointed.

Just got to stay focus on yourself try not to take a peak in her life and keep pushing.

You really should be writing a book with the stuff being said here... but yea at the end of the day you only need to find one chick that really fukk with you, especially if that's all you want.. This misconception that men have to be big game hunters and have grocery lists worth of conquests is not for most people.. Those people are seemingly never happy with any of these chicks and after a while they realize all the good ones they let go..


I still don't think you should be trying to find the one fresh out of high school or college, for men we need to finish figuring out who we are before we worry about getting married or raising kids

 

[Easy-E]

That "wrong way go put milk thing" hurt my feelings

 

[sfgiants]

I dated mine for a year solid official all over fb everybody knew, everybodys favorite couple etc all that noise 100 likes per pic of us etc etc. I was a damn proud dude. Lived together for a few months of it too. Best friend all that noise.

shyt has been beyond tough. Easily my toughest breakup so far, probably because she was loyal as shyt. She was awful tho in retrospect (extremely unstable, on antidepressants, suffered from melancholic depression, crazy daddy issues, lived alone with two cats .)

If I told the stories about how she acted you brehs would be like .

I have no explanation how or why i allowed myself to put up with the behavior she exhibited. As someone who is extremely well read in RP theory and understands the game it was like i had fukkin amnesia and forgot everything i knew. The bytch had me bamboozled and broken

lol ive been there too man, sometimes we ignore reality and look at what could be if these crazy bytches started acting right.. idealized versions of them that don't exist. and having that pipe dream that the bytch is gona stop being a piece of shyt one day and shyt is gona be good between u two is what keeps u hoping and taking L's left n right cuz all logic is telling u that she's nuts
but you're like i can change her.. she'll come around

nah.

"if you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward u with a new hello" sounds kinda gay but i'd be lying if i didnt keep repeating this shyt back then with my ex bytch

 

[Malta]

http://www.thecoli.com/threads/black-women-in-brazil.338916/

Ladylike, old fashion, beautiful black women that stay in shape and place value on family structure

 

[Rayzah]

I'e broken no contact a few times in the past and I never got what I wanted until I realized to stay no contact not to get someone back but for me to heal and get on with my life. Everytime you break no contact your telling yourself is im just going out swinging, im not going out without a fight, I know her man, i know what we have, you just don't understand. I'll just say a friendly hi, but deep down your hoping she misses you dearly and wants you back, deep down you have a ulterior motive.

More than likely when you break No contact this occurs

you call

a) as the phone is ringing you feel a little lump in your stomach. She answers and you hear that familiar voice that used to say I love you and call you pet names.

a(1) you hear the coldness in her voice and realize this isnt going anywhere

a(2) she seems so enthusiastic to hear from you, long time no talk, how are you what's new, you chat for awhile then she has to go but make sure to keep in touch. YOu start to decipher the convo ala the breadcrumbs but if you really think about it nothing has changed. I call this going no fap for like a month then ah it feels so good, then after you bust a nut your like all that progress

you text
a) as you send the text your palms are sweaty, its finally gone through, you take a look at your phone for a reply, you keep looking, and looking. Maybe she's busy, did it go through? you send yourself a text and receive it instantly, you keep looking at your phone nothing. You broke all your progress for nothing


b) she replies right away and you text back and forth then it dies down


what i'm just saying is majority of everyone when they do no contact there is a ulterior motive to get my ex to miss me, to have them running back to me, and when they break no contact they break it because they think their ex will forget about them, they need their fix etc.

All your doing by breaking no contact is reattaching back to that emotional connection. Next you'll be checking her facebook, checking her instagram, and destroy all progress you have made.

of course every situation is different but more than likely you won't get what you want by breaking, you;ll just kick yourself for doing it.

Yea we have all been there, I think this is importatnt advise that all young guys should know before they enter the dating secne.. Its funny how quickly women move on or get over us, but yet we consider them the emotional clingy ones...
moral of this story is fukk trying to win her back or going out swinging, if she was the least bit interested you wouldn't have to try that hard. NO EXCUSES

fukk man Smfh I fukking fold ...

Facetimed her. No answer. Then she texts me like "did you mean to ft me"

I go "yes"

She facetimes me right away. Soon as she a answered we both smile and kinda just stay silent for like 30 secs. I go "so how you been" she goes "good what about you"

Blah blah blah

She talks about how the last few times I saw her I was acting ignorant and I was just like nah you already know what it is.

Then I go "you miss me?"

She goes "a tiny bit" (fronting...I know she's fronting)

The whole time I didn't feel a cold vibe. We were genuinely both in good spirits. So then I tell her I love her and she says "I love you too" so me being thirsty I go "say it again" and she's like "no but when I say I love you I'm not just saying it" ....hmmmmm

So then she goes "hey I might come by to see Rayna for a few"

I'm like cool .. Then I go "well I wanna see you without kids in the equation"

She laughs and says "maybe"

So we say our goodbyes and hang up.

I text her with "I love you...I really do you got my heart"

She replies with "I love you too...I do"


I'm mad I folded but this actually seemed good she wasn't her usual cold self.

Ima hit her tonight and see what's up. I'll fill Yall in. I let the brehs down but ride with me on this one.

This has been said to you a lot in here, and I shouldn't even respond but I cant help it... RUN!!!!

This isn't interest its familiarity she is only nice to you cause yall have history, but trust all of us, she doesn't want what you want from her. You can only salvage a victory if YOU can agree to put HER in the friendzone, that way she knows you aren't expecting nothing else, you can slip up and fukk her and know who else she is fukking with out having to ask.. Your only choices are that or running..

Some of the threads I've been seeing on the forum lately remind me just of what the wrong women are capable of. I remember a lot of guys in this thread were being called bitter and insecure, but as time goes on, men are getting exposed to exactly what makes our mentality the way it is. NEVER build your life around a woman. Only let her participate in your life style. You sit around being overly attached to one woman and you end up finding she has some other man or men in her life and your whole world is wrecked. Nah. Enjoy a woman's company, but if she decides to go, let her go, but just make sure she can't take a whole bunch of your stuff on the way out.

Yea I remember the early days and just about any other thread made here, people come in saying all types of shyt, while unknowingly being the same way or having different issues. This thread is good because yall are getting into the root of these relationship problems, not just casting a blanket or placing all issues into a category.

i may have had an epiphany on thursday evening leaving class. Brehs, look at your surroundings. These girls ain't nothing special and trust me when i say that. For those of you that don't know, Toronto is a very multicultural, massive and metropolitan city. So you can pretty much imagine the amount of attractive women roaming these streets. However, being downtown that night....i saw something that stood out to me and made me stop and think. In almost every direction there was a woman wearing almost identical clothing or had the same dress style as the next. So there i was...standing on the sidewalk of one of the most busiest intersections in the city...thinking to myself..."are these the women that me and thousands of other men sweat and get worked up over? " The same women that literally copy one another. Same pictures and poses, same outfits, same hairstyles, same attitude and personality....these are the people that have made this thread reach 2182 pages?

that night made me see the bigger picture. Since then, I've seen chicks with they asses sticking out, titties poppin out, make up all over and yet i feel nothing for them. Complete indifference. Prior to thursday evening, i would've been like DAMN to every fine thing but tonight i'm like . That shyt don't impress me no more and i'm happy it doesn't.

I urge every breh next time they step out to observe their surroundings and i can guarantee you all will agree with me.

reclaim your power back and move onto bigger and better things brehs.






p.s. if a girl wants to be in your life, allow her to but ALWAYS navigate the relationship.

Yea when you constantly run into and date the same type of women with the same mentality you need to pick from a different pool.. Since leaving the DMV and the US as a whole my dating life has improved significantly.. Like its night and day, I am enjoying the best relationship I have been in in a lng time if not ever.. Sometimes your personality doesn't match with the culture of where you live, that is why us as americans need to embrace traveling and interacting with different cultures. We forget, none of us are actually from here, America isn't our culture

 

[kevm3]

A lot of women live up to the standard that the men uphold. A lot of men complain about a lack fo quality women, and yet when they praise women, the only kind of woman that shows up is some stripper in a thong or some such similar breed of woman. When women see this is the kind of woman that men praise and pay attention to in deeds, then that's the kind of woman they start morphing into. If you want quality woman, you got to give them their props and pay attention to them over that loose, scandalous woman.

 

[PinotNoir]

It's dumb and these same women wonder why they are alone. I understand being attracted to the person physically is important but once it goes into wanting the guy to look like something walking off a PDiddy runway plus making 6 figures that's when it's ridiculous.

EXACTLY, assuming you are a woman, this is how I felt about dating in the US, women seem to not have a realistic criteria when it comes to dating.. Like looks and status/money is only part of it, maybe 20-30% the rest is personality, and good character traits.. It's all good to want someone that is attractive but these chicks be like, oh well he is cute but he needs to work on his body or get a better job. but yet WE are the ones getting the superficial label..


some will do that just based on disagreements.. I tend to think these people were never really into you in the first place, you were just better than nothing. My thing is if you feel that way than just say hey I am not looking for anything serious, lets just fukk... nope women cant be that simple



You really should be writing a book with the stuff being said here... but yea at the end of the day you only need to find one chick that really fukk with you, especially if that's all you want.. This misconception that men have to be big game hunters and have grocery lists worth of conquests is not for most people.. Those people are seemingly never happy with any of these chicks and after a while they realize all the good ones they let go..


I still don't think you should be trying to find the one fresh out of high school or college, for men we need to finish figuring out who we are before we worry about getting married or raising kids

 

[MikelArteta]

I dated mine for a year solid official all over fb everybody knew, everybodys favorite couple etc all that noise 100 likes per pic of us etc etc. I was a damn proud dude. Lived together for a few months of it too. Best friend all that noise.

shyt has been beyond tough. Easily my toughest breakup so far, probably because she was loyal as shyt. She was awful tho in retrospect (extremely unstable, on antidepressants, suffered from melancholic depression, crazy daddy issues, lived alone with two cats .)

If I told the stories about how she acted you brehs would be like .

I have no explanation how or why i allowed myself to put up with the behavior she exhibited. As someone who is extremely well read in RP theory and understands the game it was like i had fukkin amnesia and forgot everything i knew. The bytch had me bamboozled and broken

happens to us all, you look back and see all the red flags, realize how you could be so stupid. Just gotta look forward and not back. Women like that are poisonous men straight poisonous

 

[MikelArteta]

Yea when you constantly run into and date the same type of women with the same mentality you need to pick from a different pool.. Since leaving the DMV and the US as a whole my dating life has improved significantly.. Like its night and day, I am enjoying the best relationship I have been in in a lng time if not ever.. Sometimes your personality doesn't match with the culture of where you live, that is why us as americans need to embrace traveling and interacting with different cultures. We forget, none of us are actually from here, America isn't our culture

its amazing isn't it man, the last 2 cool women I mesh with was the last two times I travelled both were like 3,000 miles away. Sometimes you gotta go to Miami to win the title so to speak.

I've given up a long time ago of finding a quality woman in the environment I am

 

[MikelArteta]

Yea we have all been there, I think this is importatnt advise that all young guys should know before they enter the dating secne.. Its funny how quickly women move on or get over us, but yet we consider them the emotional clingy ones...
moral of this story is fukk trying to win her back or going out swinging, if she was the least bit interested you wouldn't have to try that hard. NO EXCUSES

yeah man its crazy, but women go about it smartly they are the ones who emotionally detach weeks, month, even like a year in advance so when its over they've already gotten over you. Its the thing most men can't fathom esp if there is their frist time dealing with it, how can she go from loving me every day to now not caring if I breathe. When a woman is done or when she loses romantic sexual feelings for you its over, its like trying to start a fire with wet soggy wood.

 

[Bless't]

Yea and we don't learn until it's too late unfortunately. I like to examine myself and relationships once they've ended, trying to see what I did wrong and how can I stop it from happening again. Like I've recently discovered with initiating, I didn't do nearly enough of it in relationships. I also figured that if it didn't work then it wasn't meant to be because he didn't show enough interest to keep it going even though he DID show interest and some. I was delusional and it didn't come from a place of ill intent, it was more indifference or wasn't meant to be feeling once everything was over. I can't imagine being a man and dealing with emotional women because some of us really don't know what we want or how to PROPERLY go after it. It's tough. But I also think that some must take reponsibility for who we let into our lives because those people will always be xy or z. Ex: I have a sister who'd meet the same type of man just different name. They played with her and didn't recognize her worth, because she didn't see her own value. She's had some very nice guys trying to date her but she always found something wrong with them. She loved the drama and now she's 39 with no man in site, still pretty but still delusional. I've had the opposite problem bad boys trying to get with me and I didn't date them, period. Glad I stuck with the type of men I like because I could've ended up alone with a house full of kids with no father. Plus my parents were strict about who I dated. It's also who we choose to let into our lives. Like the saying, full me once shame on you, full me twice shame on me. I tell everyone I know to be mindful of who they're dealing with because we take responsibility for the choices we make.

Self reflection and self improvement.

 

[PinotNoir]

Omg Loki, I love Tom Hiddleston.

Thank you. It's important because if you don't self reflect you'll keep making the same mistakes over and over. I refuse to be the definition of crazy.

Self reflection and self improvement.

 

[Rayzah]

its amazing isn't it man, the last 2 cool women I mesh with was the last two times I travelled both were like 3,000 miles away. Sometimes you gotta go to Miami to win the title so to speak.

I've given up a long time ago of finding a quality woman in the environment I am

It's funny cuz I am came out here not thinking I would do any serious dating and not even 48 hrs later I met a chick that I am still talking to 6 months later. And if I was that guy I could have had a few more on the team.. I have to make sure I am not on my American bs now..

its so much easier do deal with people who dont play games, or have checklists a mile (kilometer) long, or dont bring their baggage with them to the next relationship.. Now of course im pretty sure there are woman like that out here but they are the minorety

 

[Bless't]

Omg Loki, I love Tom Hiddleston.

Thank you. It's important because if you don't self reflect you'll keep making the same mistakes over and over. I refuse to be the definition of crazy.

Insane... crazy... whatever. Its quite apparent you know what it means to improve one's self. Continued success on your journey.

 

[MikelArteta]

It's funny cuz I am came out here not thinking I would do any serious dating and not even 48 hrs later I met a chick that I am still talking to 6 months later. And if I was that guy I could have had a few more on the team.. I have to make sure I am not on my American bs now..

its so much easier do deal with people who dont play games, or have checklists a mile (kilometer) long, or dont bring their baggage with them to the next relationship.. Now of course im pretty sure there are woman like that out here but they are the minorety

And many of these women look so much better but without the attitude, baggage etc.
It's just totally different. I've said it time and time again I recommend everyone to get their passport and travel, doesnt even have to be far.

what country are you in?