Well, then yeah men have to set standards. If women can get away with just a wink and a smile or some ass and titties, then that's all she's gonna focus on.
Women have interests that are usually just different than most men's. Those interests usually have nothing to do with attracting a man. When a woman wants a dude she falls back on flirting and her looks.
I guess you should look for a woman that doesn't necessarily have the same interests as you, but who has interests that will help you grow. For example, cooking, finances, decorating, working out, spirituality, helping people, creating. This way you can see what she brings into the relationship and how that can help.
TL; DR Men collectively need to raise their standards beyond superficial looks and towards substance. The dating pool today is the result of many merely using people for sex and paychecks.