*This post is more about dating in a college town, if you're just trying to get laid some of this may apply but not as much so
I have to admit, I've had a rough time dating women in my 6 years of being in a college town. (I'm in law school, hence why 6 years)
I'm a good looking guy, in shape and hopefully with a good future in front of him but I'm naturally a really shy person and when I try and be outgoing I think it probably comes off as forced (I know it feels forced). I feel like I'd be a good boyfriend or whatever to a woman but very few women in a college town that are at least somewhat attractive seem interested in a not douchey guy. That said, looking back on the various women I've talked too, I've noticed a trend:
- Can't be too aggressive with the texting. It's so dumb but messaging a girl too much comes off as desperate. Girls get impressed when you get them to text last as dumb as that sounds. Or when they feel compelled to start the convo. Also, don't always text them immediately back. Sometimes it's ok but sometimes wait an hour or two, this shows her you're not too desperate and you have a life going on but it also gives you the chance to think of a really good response to what she says.
- Can't be too aggressive trying to see the girl either or it comes off as creepy. I've noticed when I leave a cooling off period in between trying to see a girl I get a much better response as opposed to like texting her the next day after seeing her already trying to set something up. If you're not bf/gf, no real reason why you should try and see a girl more then 1-2 times a week for the first few months.
- Try to come up with with a variety of things to do together. Not just drinks and not just food either. Do something active that shows you're fun outside of restaurant/bar setting. When planning stuff, take initiative but plan something unique.
- Get in situations where you'll take pictures with her and she's likely to post them on social media. Being on her social media reinforces the idea of your friendship...or something more. Sort of goes back to the unique date idea. Go to like the state fair or for a hike somewhere cool or something different and casual and notable that she's going to want to take a picture with you at.
- Don't forget about your guy friends:
1. They make the cooling off period in between women much better
2. It makes you more attractive to girls you have reliable guy friends. Shows you're not a loser/creep basically. They think it's weird/there's something wrong with you if never have any friends around when you see her. She doesn't even have to be there. Even like just snapchatting her something goofy with a bunch of guy friends in it helps a lot. Or posting on IG/FB a pic with your crew, she'll see it.
- Don't forget about your family either. Girls want to be wives and/or moms one day and they want to see you care about your family.
- Dress well: doesn't have to be brand name but make sure your clothes fit right, matches, is ironed and has no stains.
- Get a hobby. At my school I was really involved in SG. Not only are there a lot of girls in SG but it showed I had more on my mind then just boning girls 24/7.
I think most of all, something I was bad about for a while is TAKE IT SLOW AND PACE IT. Now that doesn't mean go so slow it lets other guys jump in, but I quickly realized that girls get turned off if you're trying to schedule too many things too quickly or trying to talk too much. Girls are being chased by lots of guys and although many of them want a bf, they don't want a big time commitment right after meeting you. They want to do their due diligence and be eased into it and they need to be convinced they need to commit to YOU over everyone else. Anyone can send a girl a text everyday. It comes down to quality over quantity. I feel like from the time you first meet a girl, it's realistic to expect 3-5 months minimum before you're a thing, no matter what you do. And no one wants three months of "what's up" or "got any plans tonight" texts. If she likes you, she'll start asking you to hang beyond the 1-2 times per week you see her that you plan and that's when you know it's escalating into something more.
Dating culture is kind of ridiculous, they want you to seem only half-interested at first. Don't let them think they've "got you" because if they do then you lost.