Quite often, my brother comes to me with woman problems. 9/10 times, his issue revolves around the inability to determine if a woman likes him or not; whether interest is there or not. He gets so caught up in the whirlwind of self-doubt and obsessing himself with the minute details of a woman's interaction towards him.
"Well, Legend, she did this... But then she said this... Look how she said this over here... She said we'll meet but now this, that and the third."
When it comes to someone we like, male or female, we tend to overanalyze the nuances of their actions if their intentions or interest isn't explicitly clarified or easily verifiable upfront. This lack of clarity is the catalyst to self-doubt and negative thinking. And if you don't check yourself, you'll find yourself drifting down the rabbit hole. Emotional health soon follows.
We are all victim to this. Tough guys and simps alike. What seperates a man or woman from the simp counterpart is their ability to recognize what interest is, and know when it isn't there without the need for enhanced calculations and late night thought sessions alone in bed.
The problem is, people like my brother don't understand how, really, biological attraction is. Take the cultural infrastructure out and keep your perception focused through the simplified scope of plain nature, and you'll come to see that 1+1=2.
This brings me to my main point. And these next statements will always be true; it is infallible and it will stand the test of time. And anyone who challenges it, I will be more than welcome to prove it's simple yet monumental effectiveness and truth. It wont blow your mind, you've heard it 1000 times before, but people don't truly understand what it means:
If a woman wants to be with you, she will be with you. Period.
If a man wants to be with you, he will be with you. Period.
Common phrase, but no one really knows what those statements mean. I will give you an example.
People tend to read things like that and try to throw variables into the equation. They try and give as many excuses as possible; they try and muddy the colors and drift away from this simple black and white truth.
What if this happens, what about x, y, z etc.
When my brother told me that he didn't invite a girl to fly out and see him because he thought that would be 'out of the way' and 'too much'.... I asked him, do y'all like each other and want to be with each other? He said yes....
Then no the fukk it isn't.
If two people want to be together, they will find a way to be together. Period.
No excuses.
6 weeks of talking and ya'll haven't tried to see each other just once??
Unacceptable.
And if you and whoever plan something, but it doesn't work, you both will equally try another way. If plan A doesn't pan out, you move to plan B. If not, Plan C.
Two people who genuinely want to be together will make it happen, no matter what. That's what real attraction is. If excuses are involved, you DO NOT want to be with each other.
And lets be clear. By excuses, I mean not even LOOKING for a way to make it happen. Not TRYING to find a solution. That's what excuses are. If a man or woman can't do something on behalf of the relationship, that's fine. That's life. BUT...
What separates attraction from lack thereof is one's WILLINGNESS to find another way.
A real nikka and real woman won't play games. Whether that be in person, or in this generation, through texting. They are straight shooters. No tit for tat, 'you text me an hour later so I will text you back exactly one hour later'. I called but you didn't pick up, so next time you call, I won't pick up. <---- All that bullshyt is for da birds. And if you are dealing with someone who shows those tendencies, you aren't dealing with someone who wants to be with you, you dealing with someone who likes attention. Trust me.
I told my brother if the only thing a woman has to present to you are excuses why she can't do X,Y,Z, there is no attraction. If a woman is texting you 3 or 4 hours later and at the most has three words to say, no attraction (that's what she was doing to him). Basically, if you have an inch of doubt that a woman/man is playing games.... It's because they are.
Trust your instincts; know that attraction is black and white. Attraction is straight forward. Attraction is 'Wednesday doesn't work, but can I see you Thursday?'. Attraction is 'you got busy for a second and couldn't reply to him/her til an hour later --- and they hit you back with no hesitation telling you it's cool, and another subject is brought up.'
You should never have to question who you are, or how you should behave around someone. You should never have think about texting that someone, or think about calling them, or seeing them... Because if you have to think about it, that means you are afraid of rejection. If you are afraid of rejection, that means you are dealing with someone who hasn't made it clear that they are attracted to you. You will not hesitate to reach out to someone you know wants to be with you.
So while you are out dealing with that woman, or that man... And you find yourself thinking about your actions before doing them..... You already know what that means.
good looks breh
there was times where she felt uncomfortable and told me she felt bad for her BF. Every time she came she told me it would be the last (she once even burst into tears) but she couldn't deny me and came back. At the beginning of winter break I see that she had stopped answering my texts. She told me she loved her BF, she's not going to leave him, and she's going to confess what had gone down. By the way she described her BF he's a simp and won't leave her. She told me she was sorry for leading me on, this was all her fault, and she just wants to be friends and things to be "normal". We talked a little for Christmas and New Years and we have 2 classes together next semester.
and said ill talk to her. I messaged her on facebook and ol girl is cool. I spent the night twice at their crib. Chick stays talking about beating me up. When we in bed she steady play swinging a fist at my face and tryna hit me and what not. No i ain't hit yet but i did eat the box and sucked the melons.