i hope a lot of the guys in here are as diligent about "improving yourself" as you are about contributing heavily to this thread. and when i say "improving yourself", no, i do not mean hitting the gym and buying nice clothes.
Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
I hear you, I definitely walked away from this thread with things I've immediately implemented in my life. One thing for sure, I definitely stopped making time for women who didn't make time for me. I was a sucka for that shyt a long time, now they get mad when they see me out and about enjoying fine food and life and I don't invite them
aight b, pretty much what happened is what someone else said ... i just didn't contact her after she said she couldn't then after a while she hit me up saying whatsup basically ... i dont' know, i want to ask her out again but don't want to. i'll just wait til she brings it up I guess if she sees me or texts me or w/e
Malikthegod
opposite of mediocre
Gonna to do some Big Brother work in my community once my I pass the background check portion. That fulfillment I was seeking from the hands of these scandalous broads I'm going to seek by helping others in my community.
I hear you, I definitely walked away from this thread with things I've immediately implemented in my life. One thing for sure, I definitely stopped making time for women who didn't make time for me. I was a sucka for that shyt a long time, now they get mad when they see me out and about enjoying fine food and life and I don't invite them
not just that. above all else, u goto make yourself someone of worth. think of it like this.
u hit the gym. ur brolic. you're hot now. u hit the stores. u cop the nicest clothes. now ur even hotter.
now, when u step out into the streets, what makes u unique? what makes u special? nothing really. because what ur doing aint something that's unique. people hit the gym by the tons and the only chicks that would stay impressed with u are chicks who never live the house or go out into public. because if they did, they'd see many of you out there. in other words, you can be easily replaced.
when you're someone of worth. u cannot be easily replaced. it has already been mentioned a few times in this thread. but u goto get ur money up man, and status. easier said than done. but a lot of you guys have written enough posts in this thread to write a book. if u r one of these guys, and u wanna make urself someone of worth, u should be spending most of ur energy compiling your best posts, polishing it up, and shopping for publishers.
if you strike a deal with a publisher, now you're a published author, who is brolic and who dresses nice. how many of those exist, within ur area? lol. not many. you casually mention that to a chick who is "kinda" into u, watch her melt instantly. thats just an example. i hope yall catch my drift.
CrossBones
Louder than words
your mind is much more important than your looks. life is like that. you can look a certain way, but if you dont think a certain way, you will be caught off point and you will be food. plenty of men work to make themselves stand out as far as looks or their money is concerned, but those are typically done with very materialistic intentions. most of the time they stop their pushing whenever they think their game looks right and their money level can be taken as acceptable for a female. its only a surface level of depth. you cant change things around until you think differently. all of that which you worked for, can be taken away if youre caught sleeping.
men who go to new places, learn new things, and meet and connect with new people are really the ones who are taking advantage of their resources and free time in life. you create bigger opportunities by building over your weaknesses and using your already realized strengths into some leverage. I see working out and getting money as more of a means to an end, and not the end in itself. all of your working out and money stacking better be for more than a show. there needs to be an end planned - a destination to reach. men who are into learning and expanding their experiences need to use it to step up their future planning, goals, and methods. use your mind first, and make sure your actions/money/resources follow it through.
men who go to new places, learn new things, and meet and connect with new people are really the ones who are taking advantage of their resources and free time in life. you create bigger opportunities by building over your weaknesses and using your already realized strengths into some leverage. I see working out and getting money as more of a means to an end, and not the end in itself. all of your working out and money stacking better be for more than a show. there needs to be an end planned - a destination to reach. men who are into learning and expanding their experiences need to use it to step up their future planning, goals, and methods. use your mind first, and make sure your actions/money/resources follow it through.
Something I want to impress upon you cats is to stop doing things to 'impress girls' or 'get hoes.' Don't look at clothes like, man is this the right clothes for me to wear so I can attract the ladies? Which cologne is going to bring me the honeys? What restaurants do I need to start going to so I can please the babes? That's lame catering behavior. For one, there are billions of women on this planet and they all have different tastes. Secondly, you might miss the woman that would really like you for you by pretending and molding into a fake role that you think 'women like'.
Your mission isn't to impress a woman so that she might let you into her presence. How are you the prize in this scenario? Your goal is to handle your business and build yourself up and develop YOUR OWN tastes and express that. When you are on point and you actually like yourself and what you do, you will have a natural, deep rooted confidence instead of that fake confidence that cats are trying to project. You know what are those things that we are REALLY confident about? It's about those things that we know extremely well. You might not be very confident in a new fighting game that you are playing for the first time because you are unfamiliar with the mechanics behind it... but if it's a fighting game that you've played for countless hours and you've demolished the competition several times, you're going to be very confident in at because you are very familiar with it and have shown your competence in it. When it comes to confidence, you can base it upon external factors or internal factors. External confidence is the kind that goes up and down and it's never very reliable. This is the kind of confidence that guys who cater to women build. As said before, there are countless women, and you never really know what any one likes before you talk to her... so in essence, you are trying to do the impossible which is read some imaginary woman's mind and then craft yourself into that guy you think this imaginary woman will like. You will become a guy that is only confident when women are giving you attention at some point in time, but when that attention disappears, you lose your confidence. Your "confidence" will be contingent on what some woman is doing or her opinion of you, thereby giving her more control over your life than you have. On the other hand, when your confidence is based on INTERNAL factors, such as you knowing yourself thoroughly and liking the man you are and not being afraid to express that in any given situation, then you will have unshakeable, REAL confidence. You can know what you like and your mindset... but you can't know what someone else likes... and really, what makes someone else the more crucial factor in deciding how you feel about YOUR life over YOU?
When you get this real confidence. Women will see you and just love what you are about... and you will be attracting the women that like YOU for YOU... not some catering, fake, crafted persona you made up. I don't improve myself just to get some hoes. If the method you are using to change yourself around is to 'attract the women,' you aren't really improving yourself. You are taking the woman catering to the next level. When you improve yourself, you are not doing it for anyone else but yourself. The real advantage in me improving myself is to wake up, look in the mirror with a smile and liking the man I see in the mirror. It's developing my tastes and knowing what I like. Confidence isn't some kind of secret technique you develop. Confidence is ruthlessly attacking and eliminating your weaknesses and fortifying your strengths and ultimately being able to look back at yourself with a smile because you've been blessed by Jesus to overcome a lot and you're still standing. It's looking back and seeing that you're turning into that cool guy you've always wanted to be. It's knowing that you've been through the forge of hard knocks and trials and tribulations and that you now bring so much to the table that YOU and not the woman is the one setting the terms of the negotiation. Improving yourself isn't about getting more women, although that is one of the side benefits of it.
Remember the boss mentality we've talked about earlier? You want to position yourself to where YOU are the gatekeeper. If you are just going around chasing and catering to these women, SHE is the gatekeeper. In other words, you have to do something in order to impress her so she will 'allow' you into her company. That's not the position you want to be in. You want to be in the position where she will do what it takes to get in YOUR company.
Your mission isn't to impress a woman so that she might let you into her presence. How are you the prize in this scenario? Your goal is to handle your business and build yourself up and develop YOUR OWN tastes and express that. When you are on point and you actually like yourself and what you do, you will have a natural, deep rooted confidence instead of that fake confidence that cats are trying to project. You know what are those things that we are REALLY confident about? It's about those things that we know extremely well. You might not be very confident in a new fighting game that you are playing for the first time because you are unfamiliar with the mechanics behind it... but if it's a fighting game that you've played for countless hours and you've demolished the competition several times, you're going to be very confident in at because you are very familiar with it and have shown your competence in it. When it comes to confidence, you can base it upon external factors or internal factors. External confidence is the kind that goes up and down and it's never very reliable. This is the kind of confidence that guys who cater to women build. As said before, there are countless women, and you never really know what any one likes before you talk to her... so in essence, you are trying to do the impossible which is read some imaginary woman's mind and then craft yourself into that guy you think this imaginary woman will like. You will become a guy that is only confident when women are giving you attention at some point in time, but when that attention disappears, you lose your confidence. Your "confidence" will be contingent on what some woman is doing or her opinion of you, thereby giving her more control over your life than you have. On the other hand, when your confidence is based on INTERNAL factors, such as you knowing yourself thoroughly and liking the man you are and not being afraid to express that in any given situation, then you will have unshakeable, REAL confidence. You can know what you like and your mindset... but you can't know what someone else likes... and really, what makes someone else the more crucial factor in deciding how you feel about YOUR life over YOU?
When you get this real confidence. Women will see you and just love what you are about... and you will be attracting the women that like YOU for YOU... not some catering, fake, crafted persona you made up. I don't improve myself just to get some hoes. If the method you are using to change yourself around is to 'attract the women,' you aren't really improving yourself. You are taking the woman catering to the next level. When you improve yourself, you are not doing it for anyone else but yourself. The real advantage in me improving myself is to wake up, look in the mirror with a smile and liking the man I see in the mirror. It's developing my tastes and knowing what I like. Confidence isn't some kind of secret technique you develop. Confidence is ruthlessly attacking and eliminating your weaknesses and fortifying your strengths and ultimately being able to look back at yourself with a smile because you've been blessed by Jesus to overcome a lot and you're still standing. It's looking back and seeing that you're turning into that cool guy you've always wanted to be. It's knowing that you've been through the forge of hard knocks and trials and tribulations and that you now bring so much to the table that YOU and not the woman is the one setting the terms of the negotiation. Improving yourself isn't about getting more women, although that is one of the side benefits of it.
Remember the boss mentality we've talked about earlier? You want to position yourself to where YOU are the gatekeeper. If you are just going around chasing and catering to these women, SHE is the gatekeeper. In other words, you have to do something in order to impress her so she will 'allow' you into her company. That's not the position you want to be in. You want to be in the position where she will do what it takes to get in YOUR company.
Let's get in here and discuss some man knowledge.
The one thing as a man you need to realize is that only subject to Jesus, YOU are in control of your life. Now, what is the importance of this statement? It is that it is going to take REAL men to turn things around. I've been reading about that MGTOW movement and the PUA movement and while I've been able to take things away from both, I cannot identify myself with either one. With the MGTOWs, it seems like they are satisfied in slinking away from society and they've just 'given up'. One book I've seen touted by some of them is "Enjoy the Decline," as if they are just happy to slink into self-destruction. Instead of having the willpower as a man to change things around and to take control, they are letting women and society dominate. Their solution is to simply disappear. Where I DO agree with them is that you need to be VERY careful in how you deal with women, and a lot of times, it's advisable to remove yourself from the game of dealing with women when the price gets high and the rewards get too low. That's called a sound investment strategy. Now, with PUAs, they have a lot of great techniques and insight on dealing with women, but where I disagree with them is that they think they are in some superior category because they can pull women and so many of their lives are built around chasing women in some form or fashion. Women are a PART of your life... they are not your life. Rearranging your whole personality like a male chameleon so you can impress a woman is wack behavior to me. Another one of their problems is that they are women caterers. There isn't really a point to where they will back up and stop dealing with women in order to send a woman a message to rearrange her behavior. Why should a woman have to change her attitude if you are still spending time and sleeping with her? Where I do like their viewpoint is that if you start displaying simp, weak characteristics, you will get abused by women.
Now where I am going with this is that as a man, it will be up to us to rearrange things. You have to be bigger than merely dealing with women, but you should never completely slink out of society and just disappear. You need to build yourself up and take control of all the various aspects of your life, which builds REAL value. When you have that value, women will come to you, and it is up to YOU to only accept the ones who have their mind right. With all of that said, I will be spending more time talking about different ways we can improve ourselves as men. We have 800+ pages of information on dealing with women. Let's turn the mirror around and look inward, because that is where the REAL change takes place.
The one thing as a man you need to realize is that only subject to Jesus, YOU are in control of your life. Now, what is the importance of this statement? It is that it is going to take REAL men to turn things around. I've been reading about that MGTOW movement and the PUA movement and while I've been able to take things away from both, I cannot identify myself with either one. With the MGTOWs, it seems like they are satisfied in slinking away from society and they've just 'given up'. One book I've seen touted by some of them is "Enjoy the Decline," as if they are just happy to slink into self-destruction. Instead of having the willpower as a man to change things around and to take control, they are letting women and society dominate. Their solution is to simply disappear. Where I DO agree with them is that you need to be VERY careful in how you deal with women, and a lot of times, it's advisable to remove yourself from the game of dealing with women when the price gets high and the rewards get too low. That's called a sound investment strategy. Now, with PUAs, they have a lot of great techniques and insight on dealing with women, but where I disagree with them is that they think they are in some superior category because they can pull women and so many of their lives are built around chasing women in some form or fashion. Women are a PART of your life... they are not your life. Rearranging your whole personality like a male chameleon so you can impress a woman is wack behavior to me. Another one of their problems is that they are women caterers. There isn't really a point to where they will back up and stop dealing with women in order to send a woman a message to rearrange her behavior. Why should a woman have to change her attitude if you are still spending time and sleeping with her? Where I do like their viewpoint is that if you start displaying simp, weak characteristics, you will get abused by women.
Now where I am going with this is that as a man, it will be up to us to rearrange things. You have to be bigger than merely dealing with women, but you should never completely slink out of society and just disappear. You need to build yourself up and take control of all the various aspects of your life, which builds REAL value. When you have that value, women will come to you, and it is up to YOU to only accept the ones who have their mind right. With all of that said, I will be spending more time talking about different ways we can improve ourselves as men. We have 800+ pages of information on dealing with women. Let's turn the mirror around and look inward, because that is where the REAL change takes place.
Sounds like a plan. Instead of chasing these women who aren't worthy enough to be chased, helping out others, sharpening yourself, etc., are the ways in which you have to rearrange your time.
It is VERY important as a man to take account of your time and to think about where your time is going. The actions you engage in today will have huge repercussions tomorrow and if you structure things tomorrow, you tomorrow will be lovely.
Let me hit ya'll up with another dose of this Boss Mentality.
A lot of cats keep on talking about having problems with women. The reason why is because you are allowing the problem to go on. If you own a company and you let your employee come in late, you might excuse it one time... but what if that employee keeps on coming in late? If you keep on letting that employee come in late and you don't fire the employee after giving a warning, you are setting a PRECEDENT that you aren't serious about your word. That employee will keep on pushing the limit because the employee knows that you are just doing a bunch of talking. Now if you fire that employee, that sends a message that you are VERY serious about yours and the other employees will start to take heed.
Cats keep on having problems with women because they want to keep that woman around by any means necessary. In other words, the woman is bigger than them. It's like the boss who tries to keep the employee around by any means necessary and never follows up with real discipline when the employee gets out of line. If the woman you are dealing with keeps on challenging you and you keep on letting it go on, she's going to keep doing it, and even worse, escalate the disrespectful behavior. Once your authority has been completely undermined, she will shuck you off the side like a sucker. If you are unwilling to fire a woman who keeps on screwing around with you, then you won't ever gain any respect or authority. YOU are the boss and your time is valuable. Playing little games with women and trying to keep them around by any means necessary is why these problems keep on reoccuring.
Now before you DO get to firing a woman, you need to think about the source of the problem. Is the problem occurring because she is ignorant of what you want from her or because of some genuine reason or is the problem occurring because she feels like she can openly disrespect you? If it is the former, it is up to you to give her an understanding of what it is you expect and why it is important... after you do that, give her time to get in line. Now, if you've given a woman the understanding and she keeps on messing up or she is openly challenging your authority, it's time for her to go.
A lot of cats keep on talking about having problems with women. The reason why is because you are allowing the problem to go on. If you own a company and you let your employee come in late, you might excuse it one time... but what if that employee keeps on coming in late? If you keep on letting that employee come in late and you don't fire the employee after giving a warning, you are setting a PRECEDENT that you aren't serious about your word. That employee will keep on pushing the limit because the employee knows that you are just doing a bunch of talking. Now if you fire that employee, that sends a message that you are VERY serious about yours and the other employees will start to take heed.
Cats keep on having problems with women because they want to keep that woman around by any means necessary. In other words, the woman is bigger than them. It's like the boss who tries to keep the employee around by any means necessary and never follows up with real discipline when the employee gets out of line. If the woman you are dealing with keeps on challenging you and you keep on letting it go on, she's going to keep doing it, and even worse, escalate the disrespectful behavior. Once your authority has been completely undermined, she will shuck you off the side like a sucker. If you are unwilling to fire a woman who keeps on screwing around with you, then you won't ever gain any respect or authority. YOU are the boss and your time is valuable. Playing little games with women and trying to keep them around by any means necessary is why these problems keep on reoccuring.
Now before you DO get to firing a woman, you need to think about the source of the problem. Is the problem occurring because she is ignorant of what you want from her or because of some genuine reason or is the problem occurring because she feels like she can openly disrespect you? If it is the former, it is up to you to give her an understanding of what it is you expect and why it is important... after you do that, give her time to get in line. Now, if you've given a woman the understanding and she keeps on messing up or she is openly challenging your authority, it's time for her to go.
Mr Hate Coffee
Veteran
