Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[cyndaquil]

Dam breh, not even replying to my post, more to the one you sent @Ohene because the 2nd part I can relate to soo much.. Like they always come back even if they locked down.. Done been to a marriage where the OG was looking at me shook, ol boy was cool tho.. then another who hit me up on finsta and like you say, it dont make sense how far shyt escalate to.. Was gonna reply to other post I leave better than I found em and always end on good terms but the boomerang rate is crazy and I dont even know. Like dudes really out here with deep madonna-whore complexes.. He dont feel comfortable with her even doin simple shyt because how he view her and she want hittin me up about she still want it from before. Social media and easy connections make it too hard ..




Have you seen the studies about how avoidants have increased in recent years? With online relationship info basically telling both sides to careless, focus on self, invest the least to protect self, etc. creating a cold war of such I would think it would increase chances for all to run into avoidants. Having read soo many of the womens stuff in recent years, they basically would take the mens info and repackage so now you have both promoting same strategy and then dating apps flooding with "options" has created a new type monster.. Then add whats mentioned before about secures basically settling down earlier and removing from pool (which I definietly seen thru years and agree with) you get a marketplace that is creating a loop.

Also dealing with an avoidant few years back, it made me sit back and laugh like hold on, definitely a mirror moment and one of catalyst to tighten up.

The thing is tho with all this attachment style stuff, I doubt we are all completely one attachment style. We all have traits and that can come from multiple different attachment styles no? But all this extra psychology speak and all this analysis people are doing is part of the reason people have difficulty forming relationships now. The zeitgeist in women's dating discourse these days is filled with all these psychology terms and yet the results are much worse today compared to the past before any of this was mainstream. At the end of the day it seems to come down to people are so fixated on perfection and planning and hitting checklists they aren't attempting to try things out

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Im joking. The way you described avoidents in that paragraph is a crisp description of how I dip in and out of relationships...

Breh you been dropping some good insights in here I wouldn’t do that to you

 

[skyrunner1]

The thing is tho with all this attachment style stuff, I doubt we are all completely one attachment style. We all have traits and that can come from multiple different attachment styles no? But all this extra psychology speak and all this analysis people are doing is part of the reason people have difficulty forming relationships now. The zeitgeist in women's dating discourse these days is filled with all these psychology terms and yet the results are much worse today compared to the past before any of this was mainstream. At the end of the day it seems to come down to people are so fixated on perfection and planning and hitting checklists they aren't attempting to try things out

I definitely agree breh, in my first post I added that I look at most psychology stuff as woowoo and u are right that it is mentioned you can be secure in one situation or person and insecurely attached in another.

For me personally I think it was great to get that awareness and just wanted to put on wax as it may help another breh on their journey..

Also agree that people throw terms around and get caught talking trending algorithm language as their entire identity, like mentioned I think all that stuff is fueling cold war and that stuff is just weaponized against genuine connections

 

[MikelArteta]

Also shows she doesn’t have a lot going on. A lot of reasonable women are fine with coffee because it’s efficient for their time as well.

When I dated was always coffee first date
Max was like 5-10 dollars spent

Didn't work out meh

If a chick likes you it doesn't matter where you go or what you spent

Actually one of my best dates with a Toronto chick we just walked downtown for like 3 hrs. I didn't spend anything but parking.

Covid was really one of the goat times for dating. I was meeting chicks at Walmart for shopping, at the park, etc. cuz you couldn't sit and dine and in they had to adapt

 

[The Jewnited States]

Random quick thing that just happened:

About 2 months ago, struck up a convo with this customer that would come to my job. Younger chick, she's 23 and I'm 36, but she just graduated college and moved here. She comes from a lot of money and it's evident, but she's also very down to earth and on her spiritual development type shyt so we clicked. Over a few interactions we begin talking more and more at one point she would just talk to me for 30 min or so while I'm on the job. Eventually i tell her that "I feel like we don't get to talk enough, we should exchange numbers", she gives me the number. We have a few good convos on the phone (sometimes an hour straight), but our texting is sporadic as fukk, sometimes she would reply the next day or two days later. I give it the benefit of the doubt because she just moved here and she's in the process of settling into her place and applying for and interviewing for jobs and what not...

Anyway, I'm with a chick that gives me steady sex and holds it down, but Im not ready to commit really, so I kinda have been one foot in the door of the game and one foot out. I left the customer girls last few text messages on unread because it was starting to feel like the interest was waning on her end (due to the lengthy intervals between texts)

Just now, out the blue she texts me: "hey would you like to go for a hike next week?"

Should I reply and give it a shot? Should I assume that I'm on the back burner and say fukk it?


Looks wise she's a 6/10 for me. If you're into white girls then maybe she's a 8/10? She does seem like a genuinely kind person though

 

[The ADD]

Random quick thing that just happened:

About 2 months ago, struck up a convo with this customer that would come to my job. Younger chick, she's 23 and I'm 36, but she just graduated college and moved here. She comes from a lot of money and it's evident, but she's also very down to earth and on her spiritual development type shyt so we clicked. Over a few interactions we begin talking more and more at one point she would just talk to me for 30 min or so while I'm on the job. Eventually i tell her that "I feel like we don't get to talk enough, we should exchange numbers", she gives me the number. We have a few good convos on the phone (sometimes an hour straight), but our texting is sporadic as fukk, sometimes she would reply the next day or two days later. I give it the benefit of the doubt because she just moved here and she's in the process of settling into her place and applying for and interviewing for jobs and what not...

Anyway, I'm with a chick that gives me steady sex and holds it down, but Im not ready to commit really, so I kinda have been one foot in the door of the game and one foot out. I left the customer girls last few text messages on unread because it was starting to feel like the interest was waning on her end (due to the lengthy intervals between texts)

Just now, out the blue she texts me: "hey would you like to go for a hike next week?"

Should I reply and give it a shot? Should I assume that I'm on the back burner and say fukk it?


Looks wise she's a 6/10 for me. If you're into white girls then maybe she's a 8/10? She does seem like a genuinely kind person though

Can you be on the back burner if you never pushed past being a phone and text buddy?

 

[The Jewnited States]

Can you be on the back burner if you never pushed past being a phone and text buddy?

Yes. She should have drove over to my place and sucked me off without me even asking for it

 

[Shadow King]

The crazy thing about celebrities is they have enough clout to get women without tricking…but some are so lame they’ll do it anyways

I guess it’s way for me to say as a broke nikka but ill never understand it

I think this is no longer true. A whole generation of women have grown up under the social media/reality TV era and the percs that the access to athletes and entertainers bring.

They can find it but it'll come with other headaches.

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

Random quick thing that just happened:

About 2 months ago, struck up a convo with this customer that would come to my job. Younger chick, she's 23 and I'm 36, but she just graduated college and moved here. She comes from a lot of money and it's evident, but she's also very down to earth and on her spiritual development type shyt so we clicked. Over a few interactions we begin talking more and more at one point she would just talk to me for 30 min or so while I'm on the job. Eventually i tell her that "I feel like we don't get to talk enough, we should exchange numbers", she gives me the number. We have a few good convos on the phone (sometimes an hour straight), but our texting is sporadic as fukk, sometimes she would reply the next day or two days later. I give it the benefit of the doubt because she just moved here and she's in the process of settling into her place and applying for and interviewing for jobs and what not...

Anyway, I'm with a chick that gives me steady sex and holds it down, but Im not ready to commit really, so I kinda have been one foot in the door of the game and one foot out. I left the customer girls last few text messages on unread because it was starting to feel like the interest was waning on her end (due to the lengthy intervals between texts)

Just now, out the blue she texts me: "hey would you like to go for a hike next week?"

Should I reply and give it a shot? Should I assume that I'm on the back burner and say fukk it?


Looks wise she's a 6/10 for me. If you're into white girls then maybe she's a 8/10? She does seem like a genuinely kind person though

....glad sane people still exist on the Coli.. and know them girls are lowest tier. ....


Didn't end up smashing the asian co-worker?

 

[The Jewnited States]

....glad sane people still exist on the Coli.. and know them girls are lowest tier. ....


Didn't end up smashing the asian co-worker?

I ended up fooling around with the asian chick but she ended up getting fired for an unrelated reason. Things fizzled out real quick when I realized I would have to put actual effort into seeing her (really let me understand the power of proximity)

Within all this, another young coworker that was flirting with me heavy, found out that I had a solid chick (outside of work), and reported me to HR saying that I "sexually harassed" her even though the flirting was mutual and this bytch was touching me on the job

I'm currently suspended indefinitely while HR does their "investigation" into this bytches lies (she told them I said to her "you know you want this dikk, stop playing and cheat on your husband with me") this bytch ISNT EVEN MARRIED

Heard from a coworker that HR is questioning people to ascertain the exact nature of our "relationship"

Crazy part is that I'm PROBABLY GONNA GET FIRED because it's 2025 and a woman can turn around and say "HE MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE" any time they want. How am I gonna prove or disprove how she FELT? Thank God it was a bullshyt ass job anyway

I definitely learned my lesson flirting with these coworkers though

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

I ended up fooling around with the asian chick but she ended up getting fired for an unrelated reason. Things fizzled out real quick when I realized I would have to put actual effort into seeing her (really let me understand the power of proximity)

Within all this, another young coworker that was flirting with me heavy, found out that I had a solid chick (outside of work), and reported me to HR saying that I "sexually harassed" her even though the flirting was mutual and this bytch was touching me on the job

I'm currently suspended indefinitely while HR does their "investigation" into this bytches lies (she told them I said to her "you know you want this dikk, stop playing and cheat on your husband with me") this bytch ISNT EVEN MARRIED

Heard from a coworker that HR is questioning people to ascertain the exact nature of our "relationship"

Crazy part is that I'm PROBABLY GONNA GET FIRED because it's 2025 and a woman can turn around and say "HE MADE ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE" any time they want. How am I gonna prove or disprove how she FELT? Thank God it was a bullshyt ass job anyway

I definitely learned my lesson flirting with these coworkers though

Damn.... i hear that. I'm at a new job and already got a few chicks giving the eye and I'm on some nope...... I'm here to be professional don't need any of that static.

 

[The Jewnited States]

Damn.... i hear that. I'm at a new job and already got a few chicks giving the eye and I'm on some nope...... I'm here to be professional don't need any of that static.

If it's a job you truly value, that's the type of time you gotta be on. This shyt blindsided me and all the other coworkers. This situation has blown up into something big and no one else fukks with her no more. I was universally beloved at this job and she's a lazy ass good for nothing bytch. My homegirl at the job called me and told me the chick who accused me left work CRYING HYSTERICALLY because everyone iced her out and refused to help her. People were telling the managers they gonna quit if they gotta work with her cuz they don't trust her ass for shyt. Everyone knows I'm not on that sexual harassment shyt, not in the slightest.


Learned that lesson though. We in a post #MeToo era and the company gotta cover their ass. If I was living paycheck to paycheck I'd be fukkED. I been treating this like a vacation. Right now I'm at my girls apartment watching nature docs in 4k while I eat her kids snacks

Anyway, I texted the white girl back and said I apologize for not being more timely with my texts, I ain't have a good excuse for it and I'll try to do better. She apologized for not being great with the texting either. We both gave each other a quick rundown about our lives (she knows I'm suspended from my job and she knows it's some bullshyt) and made plans to go hiking on Tuesday. I am approaching it from the perspective of just gonna get to know her better . Smash or not, she seems to have a good heart and a keen mind, she's not on social media anymore because she recognized the toll it took on her spirituality, and she could just be a cool ass friend if nothing else. In this day and age, that means something

Sidenote: I can already see that if I didn't have a steady outlet for sex, I would have probably pressed the white chick too hard, reeked of desperation and thirstiness and she probably never reaches out to me again and I sever this chance for human interaction before it even starts

I can see why its important to have a solid thing on deck even if it's not the best option long term. Can I tell my girl that? Nope, she would be jealous as fukk and pissed off, but she's got 2 kids and they ain't mine

 

[Mirin4rmfar]

ha, I swear there is someone for everybody I met this Gambia chick earlier this year, my type, but her and I ended up having a long ass conversation that made me ran for the hills
-In a divorce she believes men should pay for the house she lives in with the kids
-Obsess with luxuries and travel
-drives a 100K car
-We had a 5 hour conversation, I realized that this woman will try to F you over in a divorce

I bailed, even though she was my type lol. I have such low tolerance for woman I feel will be a pain in my ass these days

 

[WIA20XX]

I was saying in some thread, maybe I deleted it, but I don't really see "cat-calling" like that.

So I'm out and about yesterday. It's graduation season, so all types of folks is out in these streets.

Anyway, I'm finna cross the corner

Old Head (looking like a maintenance man)- WHY YOU SHOWING THEM LEGS? WHY YOU SHOW ALL THAT LEG!!?

*activate radar*

The woman is prolly in her late 60s, wearing knee length shorts and crossing the intersection with a cane.

Somebody's Granny - "WELL YOU KNOW IT'S STARTING TO GET HOT"

I'm not sure if they knew each other (coulda, given his garb and the graduation stuff popping offf), but the ludicrousness of the scenario just brought a smile to my face.

 

[Ohene]

ha, I swear there is someone for everybody I met this Gambia chick earlier this year, my type, but her and I ended up having a long ass conversation that made me ran for the hills
-In a divorce she believes men should pay for the house she lives in with the kids
-Obsess with luxuries and travel
-drives a 100K car
-We had a 5 hour conversation, I realized that this woman will try to F you over in a divorce

I bailed, even though she was my type lol. I have such low tolerance for woman I feel will be a pain in my ass these days

i wont even date a woman who believs in divorce