Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Mike Ock]

@ this thread bruhs. Live and learn and pass on the experiences.

 

[kevm3]

There are women who like you for you and there are women who like the things you do for them. You always want to deal with the former and avoid dealing with the latter. The later category are the ones that require you to constantly take them to dinner and buy them things in order to remain your company. These are the women who view you as low value and feel comfortable in telling you that you need to bring something other than you in order to have some of their time. We allow ourselves to fall into the latter zone because of either ignorance or because we start liking that woman way more than she likes us, so we allow ourselves to chase. Any time a woman feels comfortable in telling you to bring something in order to get some of her time, it signals you are low value to her. When a woman sees you as low value, don't waste your time. Move on.

You will drastically increase your chances of winning by 'staying in your zone' and dealing with women who put a high value on you.

 

[kevm3]

Something I've learned as time passes is for the most part, these women aren't really thinking about me like that, so why do we give them so much mindshare? One of the fundamental problems in the black community is that many of the men's mentality is geared around obtaining sex. Get this car to attract hoes. Spend my money on fancy clothes to attract hoes. Hit the club to attract hoes... and after they've spent all that time and money, what do they have to show for themselves? Some memories? Once they get through with those women, those women aren't really thinking about them unless it's maybe to go get their child support. I'm saying this to say that dealing with women should be a PART of your life, not your life. Your fundamental root of decision making should not be 'what attracts the broad.' You'll see a lot of guys have that as their root mindset. Everything out of their mouth revolves around whether something attracts women. It's really a sucker mentality, because when they get old, all those clothes are going to be dusty and way out of season. That brand new fly ride is going to be old and outdated and all they will have is a bunch of memories of how they were doing it 'back in the day'. Instead, focus on building something much more solid. There's nothing wrong with dressing nice and having a decent ride, but you have to realize the worth of your time and money. Spending it all to impress some club rats is a backwards mentality. Stack it up and figure how to build a solid financial base. It's much better to have your life structured to where you are debt free, can travel the world, and don't have to worry about where the next paycheck is coming from as opposed to being Mr. Stunna Man.

 

[MikelArteta]

Answers in pink

 

[360dagod]

One thing to do to make a girl comfortable is to make her laugh, when a girl is in a laughing mode she's in a comfort zone and in a sort of vulnerable state. Hopefully you can be somewhat funny.

pretty much...

I playfully tell them to shut the fukk up and all...

It makes them laugh and it shows that you dont give a fukk

 

[RealAssanova]

Something I've learned as time passes is for the most part, these women aren't really thinking about me like that, so why do we give them so much mindshare? One of the fundamental problems in the black community is that many of the men's mentality is geared around obtaining sex. Get this car to attract hoes. Spend my money on fancy clothes to attract hoes. Hit the club to attract hoes... and after they've spent all that time and money, what do they have to show for themselves? Some memories? Once they get through with those women, those women aren't really thinking about them unless it's maybe to go get their child support. I'm saying this to say that dealing with women should be a PART of your life, not your life. Your fundamental root of decision making should not be 'what attracts the broad.' You'll see a lot of guys have that as their root mindset. Everything out of their mouth revolves around whether something attracts women. It's really a sucker mentality, because when they get old, all those clothes are going to be dusty and way out of season. That brand new fly ride is going to be old and outdated and all they will have is a bunch of memories of how they were doing it 'back in the day'. Instead, focus on building something much more solid. There's nothing wrong with dressing nice and having a decent ride, but you have to realize the worth of your time and money. Spending it all to impress some club rats is a backwards mentality. Stack it up and figure how to build a solid financial base. It's much better to have your life structured to where you are debt free, can travel the world, and don't have to worry about where the next paycheck is coming from as opposed to being Mr. Stunna Man.

that is the life.

 

[BreezyH]

brehs,

forgot what poster here wrote it

the cut off is difficult (nah impossible when children are involved). in my situation, every time i turn a corner i get suckered back into the same pattern because there has to be interaction. she caught me with the okie doke over the holidays - we laid up with each other and just last week found out (hack that ipad brehs) and found out she was pregnant at the time and miscarried a week and a half later. im literally at her crib last sunday while she at work (child's school is around the corner) and am reading all this. i dropped that ether about playing such a filthy game, blocked and havent spoken since. i gotta work something out cause of my child but might come to the point where it's gotta happen with actual rules involved

 

[Turbulent]

I JUST realized what my biggest issue is with interacting with females at times....

You see, it's not the talking/convo part I'm no good at; it's MAKING THEM COMFORTABLE with me. I feel as if I lack a lot in those parts....any ideas?

When talking to a chick (doesn't matter if you've known her for a while or if you just approached her randomly) sometimes you'll have awkward moments or uncomfortable silences. Don't always feel like it's your responsibility to dissipate that awkwardness. I've actually learned lately to get "acquainted" and comfortable with that awkwardness. It can even help you get further at times. See a lot of us will feel that awkwardness and rush to find a way to make it go away. When you do that, the chick will automatically feel like she has the upper hand on you because from now on, it's your job to make things comfortable for her. You're basically serving her. When the weird silences come, let it marinate a little bit and be relaxed in it. Once she sees you really don't give a fukk, watch how quick she'll try to fill in the space and "make things ok again" because she'll start doubting herself and if she did something wrong. Now she's serving you...

You gotta show her that if the convo doesn't go smoothly, you're not the only person responsible for that. it's suppose to be an exchange of energy, show her she can't just take and not give. Don't always run from awkwardness. face it sometimes. it's a balance in there you have to reach (i don't think you should put it all on her either, you have to figure out your own style).

And the funny thing is that us guys are experienced at dissipating it through charm, jokes, wit, etc. So we can navigate through it. But most chicks aren't (because they never had to). Most don't have charm. Two things will typically happen. They'll either cut the interaction (and even then when they see you don't give a fukk, they'll start doubting themselves and think maybe they were the one being lame and uninteresting, and then they try to get your attention back) OR they'll just submit to you and seek your attention even more (and their main weapon is sexual energy) so the ball is in your court.


As usual, i advise not to become arrogant with it if it works for you.

 

[MikelArteta]

She's your baby moms?

brehs,


the cut off is difficult (nah impossible when children are involved). in my situation, every time i turn a corner i get suckered back into the same pattern because there has to be interaction. she caught me with the okie doke over the holidays - we laid up with each other and just last week found out (hack that ipad brehs) and found out she was pregnant at the time and miscarried a week and a half later. im literally at her crib last sunday while she at work (child's school is around the corner) and am reading all this. i dropped that ether about playing such a filthy game, blocked and havent spoken since. i gotta work something out cause of my child but might come to the point where it's gotta happen with actual rules involved

 

[BreezyH]

She's your baby moms?

yup

 

[MikelArteta]

yup

was the miscarriage like your kid?

 

[BreezyH]

was the miscarriage like your kid?

nope.

 

[Medio]

can't reiterate how important it is to not agree with everything a female says,

I was on the bus today and this dude was talking to this lady, cleary tryning to holla at her. this lady was talking about how she likes to live, raise her kids, how it's important for her to do this and that , blah blah

deadass this dude was going like, 'yea yea.. 'yea yea'... 'yea that's true'..

you got to question a female and make her think, call her out on something - you can't be scared of this or else you fall into the 'fear of losing' her trap, be a man. this dude was scared of losing her before he even knew her, now tell me how that makes sense, that's just some bytchassness. subsonciosually she's not respecting no bytch nikka being a yes man all the time

 

[DaRealness]

can't reiterate how important it is to not agree with everything a female says,

I was on the bus today and this dude was talking to this lady, cleary tryning to holla at her. this lady was talking about how she likes to live, raise her kids, how it's important for her to do this and that , blah blah

deadass this dude was going like, 'yea yea.. 'yea yea'... 'yea that's true'..

you got to question a female and make her think, call her out on something - you can't be scared of this or else you fall into the 'fear of losing' her trap, be a man. this dude was scared of losing her before he even knew her, now tell me how that makes sense, that's just some bytchassness. subsonciosually she's not respecting no bytch nikka being a yes man all the time

Exactly and it's not even a case of arguing just to argue or calling them out for no reason and being an a$$hole about it, but some dudes legit be scared to disagree with or call out a chick even if she was walking towards the edge of a cliff because they don't wanna rock the boat. FOH. If she gets defensive and doesn't like you disagreeing with her on anything, then that's someone you don't want want to deal with anyway.

LOL @ 'yeah that's true'....she probably walked off the bus like "awww, you're such a gentleman and a nice guy...." and probably didn't even give him her number lol.

 

[Atlrocafella]

checked her social media, and she isn't an instagram whore, she barely post anything.

She want's to cook for me one day..I like what I'm seeing so far from her.