Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

MikelArteta

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Just 14 things I've learned along the way

1. The wrong person can destroy your life, while the right one can enhance it – choose wisely and be careful who you open up to, not everyone has your best interests at heart.

2. What begins fast – ends fast, be patient and observant. People rarely change, what you see after the honeymoon period is usually who they are at their core.

3. Always be yourself and never take on another role to impress anyone, nor over analyze what you should do or say. Not everyone will like you and well that’s life. You may be humble and they may equate that to you being soft. You may be confident and they may equate that with being arrogant. You may be a good person to the core and they may equate that with being safe and boring. If someone does not like you for who you are well there is someone out there who will.

4. Never give away your feelings, love, and commitment cheaply. Respect paves the way for love. And without respect, there is no solid foundation for love or commitment.

5. Have standards, boundaries and a high level of self-confidence. When you have vigorous levels of confidence it’s like a domino effect that encouragingly stimulates every part of your inner composition. From your self-esteem, thought process, success in life and right down to relationships all benefit from self-confidence. However deficiency of self-confidence will keep you from maintaining beneficial boundaries. This in turn will lead to individuals overrunning the line in the sand so to speak over and over again losing all forms of respect they have for you. People who don’t revere your boundaries don’t truly love or respect you.

6. When someone traverses your boundaries, disappoints, frustrates or makes you enraged, if you reciprocate with anger you have handed over power of your emotions to them. When you counter without reacting (indifference) you are indicating that you are in total control and are not going to relinquish control of your emotions to someone else. It rarely pays to confront, be angry, or pour out your soul. You’ll never get the answer or reaction you are seeking, just drama, lies, trickle truthing, deflections, blame-shifting, and vilifying of you to justify their actions.

7. Relationships take a lot of work. Every day brings forth new challenges and emotions. You have to learn to pick your battles, and compromise in certain areas to make it succeed. Successful, long-lasting relationships are not built on sexual attraction.

8. Love and Relationships are indeterminate and they have no assurances. You may get cheated on, manipulated, lied to, fall out of love, drift apart or it may be the best experience of your life. No one can predict the future but you can either live in trepidation or give it a go, hope you did your due diligence and try to make the best of it.

9. Actions over words, people will always tell you what you want to hear to calm any fears. Always trust your gut feeling, if you feel something is not right – more than likely you are correct. Never think it can’t happen to you.

10. Without any consequences, bad behavior will continue to persist. When it is time to walk away, never wait and never look back. You may receive a big jolt of pain all at once but if you stay you get it little by little; day after day. Never accept demotion, breadcrumbs, nor cling to anything (words, individuals) – move on and enrich yourself. Never let anyone pick you up and throw you aside and pick you up and throw you aside whenever it suits them, if you have no self respect no one will respect you.

11. Recognize that breakups happen for an array of reasons and one of the main reasons is that somewhere out there is someone more suitable for you. So don’t impede the process in locating them by trying to recapture a relationship with an individual who isn’t right for you. Neuter the feelings that you never will get over your ex because it is all an illusion. So hope for peace in the world, hope for an end to bigotry, hope for the end of world hunger, but never hope for a person who no longer values you or loves you to come back in your life.

12. Don’t give into bitterness. It will seek to control you and eat away at your happiness. Reclaim your self-
respect and individual power. Learn from your mistakes and you’ll become a better person. Just remember that anything and everything is possible when you re-identify yourself. Make peace with the situation and accept it for what it was. Great things seem to happen if you have a positive mindset when you least expect it. So work on remaking yourself into a better person. The person you always wanted to be.

13. The path to absolute recovery is not a horizontal line, there will be ups and downs, left turns and right turns, step forwards and step backs. However in all things there is a lesson and in this you can learn the process of letting go and moving forward in life. You should never be reliant upon anyone else to bring happiness into your life. Since the day I finally came to the realization and understanding that I have no control over someone loving me, valuing me, respecting me or not – life has been so seamless. Why worry about things you can’t change its better to focus on the areas you can change and control, your thoughts, your happiness and your life.

14. Patience it’s not the end, everything in life teaches a valuable lesson. You can carry around baggage and be emotional unstable and lack empathy or you can take the viewpoint of being better prepared, wiser, stronger and realize life throws battles at everyone, you can’t win them all but you can win the war.
 

MikelArteta

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That sosauve site has some decent things sometimes

You should not pursue women. If you have the mindset that you are pursuing women, or are trying to get into a particular woman's pants, you will lose.

Rather, you should have the attitude that a woman will be a drain on your life, she will be a lying cheating heartbreaking shrew, and she will lie, cheat and break your heart until proven otherwise. Note the word proven.

Women don't realize they lie. A woman can break up with you, be walking out the door with her new boyfriend, look you square in the eyes and say "I really do love you" and many men will not only believe her, but rest secure in the belief that she will come back to them.


Occasionally you'll see geeky high school photos of people like Paris Hilton, or Tara Reid, and this should be an education to you. The most beautiful woman today could look like a toad tomorrow, and vice-versa.

The right girl for you will soon prove easy to talk to. She will surprise you with how interested in you she really can be. It will gradually, very gradually dawn on you that you don't have to be on your best behavior all the time.


The girl of your dreams may not be the girl you dreamed of. "Love at first sight" is dangerous.



Insecure men date beautiful women mainly to impress their friends. Insecure men want trophy women mainly to make themselves look better. Insecure men want to drive hot sports cars to impress their friends or to pick up chicks. Insecure men want swoopy motorcycles to impress their friends or pick up chicks.

Real men on the other hand, date women who are good companions, who really turn them on because they're interesting and attractive. Looks are very important, but not the most important.

Real men have sports cars because they enjoy tinkering with them on the weekends in addition to being fun with a woman. Real men have swoopy motorcycles because they belong to a motorcycle club, love working on them or race them in addition to occasionally giving a girl a joyride.

The best girl for you is one who could be called 'cute' with a decent body and generally happy personality -- and be open to her arriving in your life. Many guys are so intent looking for that fabulous diamond, they don't see the basket of pearls at their feet.

The healthiest mindset for you to have is that the prettier the girl, the worse she will be, only so that you will not be blinded when someone adorable but less glamorous comes along.
 

EA

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Right now as I type this, I'm talking to a friend of mine and I swear to the Lord above, talking with her makes me 100% certain that I could never ever ever deal with a girl who's got baggage. These are the type of girls that make life difficult for their boyfriends because they're so damn screwed up & they place that burden on the guy which in turn makes him screwed up.

When I get my shyt together & I'm actually ready to have a meaningful relationship, I'm gonna pray and pray hard that I find a woman with as little emotional damage as possible. Life is supposed to be easy, not emotionally draining.
 

MikelArteta

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Right now as I type this, I'm talking to a friend of mine and I swear to the Lord above, talking with her makes me 100% certain that I could never ever ever deal with a girl who's got baggage. These are the type of girls that make life difficult for their boyfriends because they're so damn screwed up & they place that burden on the guy which in turn makes him screwed up.

When I get my shyt together & I'm actually ready to have a meaningful relationship, I'm gonna pray and pray hard that I find a woman with as little emotional damage as possible. Life is supposed to be easy, not emotionally draining.

a women in your life should enrich it

if there is one thing I advise every man in this thread, NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS, NO MATTER IF SHE IS THE ONLY WOMAN INTERESTED IN YOU, NO MATTER THE SEX, NO MATTER ANYTHING do not I REPEAT do not waste the years of your life with an unstable woman. If you meet one, run away, and run fast.

These women are often some of the most beautiful women you will come across, they got a sob story that will draw you in (divorce, abuse, sexual abuse, severe debt, suicide attempts, "things they cant bring up", never been treated this well before) all bpd (borderline personalities disorder) tendacies, the sex is :noah:, they will get you caught up so quick, you can't believe a woman like this is into you, then the facade drops, these women will ruin your life and give you high blood pressure, its like getting gum out of a blonde womans hair how hard it will be to rid yourself once your caught up.

if you take any advice from this thread take this DONT!!! whats worse these women know the games to a tee, like a little chinese kid in the arcade taking everyones quarters, because they have been playing it for years and years, and they have a plethora of men who have they destroyed/attempted to destroy, they will take on the mirror image of the girl you've always been looking for, they will have you in atrance, giving leeway, breaking every rule you swore you would never break

i call them the milady de winter in the three musketeers, a sexy, conniving, broken women who destroyed so many men
 

EA

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a women in your life should enrich it

if there is one thing I advise every man in this thread, NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS, NO MATTER IF SHE IS THE ONLY WOMAN INTERESTED IN YOU, NO MATTER THE SEX, NO MATTER ANYTHING do not I REPEAT do not waste the years of your life with an unstable woman. If you meet one, run away, and run fast.

These women are often some of the most beautiful women you will come across, they got a sob story that will draw you in (divorce, abuse, sexual abuse, severe debt, suicide attempts, "things they cant bring up", never been treated this well before) all bpd (borderline personalities disorder) tendacies, the sex is :noah:, they will get you caught up so quick, you can't believe a woman like this is into you, then the facade drops, these women will ruin your life and give you high blood pressure, its like getting gum out of a blonde womans hair how hard it will be to rid yourself once your caught up.

if you take any advice from this thread take this DONT!!! whats worse these women know the games because they have been running it for years of men and have a plethora of men who have they destroyed/attempted to destroy, they will take on the mirror image of the girl you've always been looking for, they will have you in atrance, giving leeway, breaking every rule you swore you would never break

i call them the milady de winter in the three musketeers, a sexy, conniving, broken women who destroyed so many men

I've had my experience with an emotionally unstable girl in the form of my ex and you're completely right. They'll melt your heart with their sob stories and have you so open for them, ready to cape only to mess your head up then leave you after they've got what they needed from you and they'll say "I find myself falling for you too hard and I need get away from you."

All the while, you're standing there like :to: wondering the fukk just happened.
 

MikelArteta

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I've had my experience with an emotional unstable girl in the form of my ex and you're completely right. They'll melt your heart with their son stories

like a asian kid at the arcade sonning everyone and leaving victims all over the place, they are excellent at it. "Every guy has cheated on me", "i don't tell alot of people this but I was raped/molested/abused" they know how to draw you in and once they have you it's like crazy glue, anything they do they will blame it on the "im just like this because my exes cheated on me, im just ike this because my parents broke up, im just like thsi because I was raped" guilt trippign you back into bee hive.

It's dangerous, and many men no matter how great your game is or how much of a pimp you think you are, you can get caught up easily.
 

RealAssanova

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a women in your life should enrich it

if there is one thing I advise every man in this thread, NO MATTER HOW HOT SHE IS, NO MATTER IF SHE IS THE ONLY WOMAN INTERESTED IN YOU, NO MATTER THE SEX, NO MATTER ANYTHING do not I REPEAT do not waste the years of your life with an unstable woman. If you meet one, run away, and run fast.

These women are often some of the most beautiful women you will come across, they got a sob story that will draw you in (divorce, abuse, sexual abuse, severe debt, suicide attempts, "things they cant bring up", never been treated this well before) all bpd (borderline personalities disorder) tendacies, the sex is :noah:, they will get you caught up so quick, you can't believe a woman like this is into you, then the facade drops, these women will ruin your life and give you high blood pressure, its like getting gum out of a blonde womans hair how hard it will be to rid yourself once your caught up.

if you take any advice from this thread take this DONT!!! whats worse these women know the games to a tee, like a little chinese kid in the arcade taking everyones quarters, because they have been playing it for years and years, and they have a plethora of men who have they destroyed/attempted to destroy, they will take on the mirror image of the girl you've always been looking for, they will have you in atrance, giving leeway, breaking every rule you swore you would never break

i call them the milady de winter in the three musketeers, a sexy, conniving, broken women who destroyed so many men

what some nikkaz sympathize with....i see as red flags. :win:
 

Rich Spirit

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damn brehs, how do yall feel when yall see your friends getting married left and right? Do you feel any more pressure now that you have people asking you questions about marriage?
 

Rocket Scientist

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damn brehs, how do yall feel when yall see your friends getting married left and right? Do you feel any more pressure now that you have people asking you questions about marriage?
Nope.I have 4 homeboys in my circle I'm close with,they all got married and have a kid.Of course this makes me the next to,but I don't feel pressure at all.I'm gonna be 31 this summer and I'm more happier single then ever before.Marriage and kids are good but it's really a job and if you ain't ready you ain't ready.
 

MikelArteta

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damn brehs, how do yall feel when yall see your friends getting married left and right? Do you feel any more pressure now that you have people asking you questions about marriage?

none, when you feel pressure is when you settle and make mistakes.

Everyone has different timing, different experiences, different standards.

If I get married its only going to be once so I gotta make sure its correct

half of marriages end in divorce and you have a 2/5 chance of your wife filing

im not just going to hop in because the brehs are going to
 
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MikelArteta

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They don’t love “you” at all. They love the image of you, what you provide to them that they
want or need, what fantasy number you can help them check off of their internal list.
If you look at a women’s life…her series of lovers that she takes…the high-school
boyfriend, the college professor fling, the Harley-driving boyfriend, the rich stock broker
boyfriend, the solid child-raising husband…
All of the guys she “loves” are just a set of internal fantasy men that she has in her head
from adolescence. When she finds a convenient guy who happens to fit a fantasy, she acquires
him, experiences him, f***s him, whatever, so she can check off one row of her mental list of
fantasy conquest boyfriends. In most cases if you ask her what the guy was actually LIKE,
what he thought, what he cared about, etc, it’s unlikely she even noticed. His actual
thoughts were irrelevant. His wants and needs, his dreams, weren’t something she was even
conscious of, except to the extent that his dreams were part of her fantasy of him. He wasn’t
really a human being at all, in her view.
Many women really view men as horses, and they are the riders. High-strung, maybe beautiful
horses yes, but in the end, just animals to help them achieve their goals.

:leon:
 

jadillac

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what some nikkaz sympathize with....i see as red flags. :win:

yeah, imo, anything bad a woman tells you early on you have to take it as a red flag.

If ur with her for a year or so and she's been cool, then she reveals to you she was raped or something, then that's different. At least you know she's not using it as a sympathy ploy, nor is it affecting her dealing w/ you everyday.


most recent girl I was hanging out with said I fit the image of the type of ppl she dates. So this is pretty true.

Some women in general are very vain. It's good if they take pride in their appearance, but when that mixes in w/ their ego, and becomes arrogance it's not good.
 

MikelArteta

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Yup screen screen screen


yeah, imo, anything bad a woman tells you early on you have to take it as a red flag.

If ur with her for a year or so and she's been cool, then she reveals to you she was raped or something, then that's different. At least you know she's not using it as a sympathy ploy, nor is it affecting her dealing w/ you everyday.



most recent girl I was hanging out with said I fit the image of the type of ppl she dates. So this is pretty true.

Some women in general are very vain. It's good if they take pride in their appearance, but when that mixes in w/ their ego, and becomes arrogance it's not good.
 
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