nothing will change man nothing you'll be here after 21 days kicking yourself for breaking 21 days of no contact. No contact isn't to get her back or make her miss you, No contact is to destroy the emotional bond
Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
nothing will change man nothing you'll be here after 21 days kicking yourself for breaking 21 days of no contact. No contact isn't to get her back or make her miss you, No contact is to destroy the emotional bond
I'm going for 3 weeks, no contact, starting today. She's gonna go nuts but maybe that will finally get the point across that if there is no real commitment that means I could be gone at any time. What if surprisingly I just stopped talking to her, seemingly out of the blue? Maybe she will finally get with the program.
She probably will go nuts. Shes gonna blow up your phone, might come by and knock on your door. Stalk.
What's gonna happen after these 21 days breh? shyt will probably be good for a little while and slowly start going back to how it used to be.
I'm going to use the next 21 days and just focus on myself; health (gym + diet + sleep), career, family & friends. After the 21 days I am going to get back in contact with her and see if anything changes.
Keep that shyt up after those 21 days breh
A few more details:
- I dated her for a while 10 years ago. I fukked it up back then, we were kids at that time. But whether she knew back then or not, she was/is my first love (she knows now).
- Rekindled a little under a year ago at her niece's birthday party. I'm real tight with her sister's BD and actually with her whole family. We been dating/chilling/spending a lot of time and getting to know each other since that day. Her parents are together and they are all cool. Everyone is just waiting for her to grow up and be with me, although I don't want her to feel like she's settling or force something she doesn't want. Although I think she does love me too, she's says she loves me.
How old is she?
- Neither one of us has had much luck in the past with relationships. Her last 2 exes beat her, abused her verbally, wife swapped her, took her money, the list goes on. All I know is she makes me a better man, or at the very least she makes ME want to be a better man and more mature everyday. At the same time, it drives me crazy that the woman I love, who is making me better, doesn't feel like a commitment is necessary.
You know this for sure breh? She either lying or, no offense, she's mentally ill. Chicks who stay and go back to those types are people you should avoid. If she's not being dominated and degraded, she'll be the one doing just that.
- You seen that Khloe Kardashian Complex cover today? She looks like that but prettier face, although probably not quite as tall. A pretty, thick, white girl with great assets and who can provide for herself as a school teacher. I'm very pleased with this girl in every category except the relationship status.
It's like y'all are saying, she's immature at the very least. I need to break out of this cycle though for my own sanity.
If people want I can post an update after the 21 days. I'm still getting my head around it.
Response in bold...
Hope it turns out well for you. If you face the harsh reality of having to cut her off for good be strong and do just that for your own sanity.
I've associated twice in my life with a) a woman who has been abused in a previous relationship
b) a woman who was cheated on in a previous relationshi, used etc.
many times like you mentioned these chicks are lost, you'll be the nice sweet safe guy and after awhile they will find that "boring".
they'll give mr a$$hole, mr cheater, mr player, mr abuser chance after chance after chance and loyalty, but they will give mr sweet nice guy who mom approves none
keep it going, as time goes on the "shakes" get less
whenever you feel like folding take a walk till it dies down, you'l be right back at square one if you break nc
<<TheStandard>>
I Am A God
I don't believe in trying to give ultimatums or forcing peoples hands into doing what you want. Stuff like that only causes resentment. If she doesn't want to commit to you, take it as a blessing, throw her in the bushes and find someone else. There's plenty of women who'd would love for a man to commit to them meanwhile you're settling for a girl who you love but doesn't want to be with you long term. If a girl doesn't want to commit to you she obviously just isn't that into you. Sounds like she's settling with you just for the moment.
You said she hasn't had luck in relationships due to being with abusive men? I'm guessing you're everything but that? Right? It's easier said than done once your emotions get involved but I would get rid of her and thank God for showing me she's not the one, sooner rather than later.
I don't mean to be harsh but y'all are wasting your time waiting for a woman to "come to her senses and come back to you". Stop putting your life on hold for a woman, trust me the majority of them won't for you. Yeah its painful because you love her and etc. etc. but its all the emotional bond. Doesn't matter the amount of "years", or how you "feel", "shes the one" and all that, it doesn't matter IF SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY. and a woman that feels the same way won't be out there weighing her options, being hesitant, having you on old.
I keep telling y'all you will blink your eyes and months or even years will pass and you'll be the EXACT SAME POSITION. THen one day you'll hop on facebook and see she's in a relationship, or pregnant, or gasp married all while you sat back waiting for her to come around.
KILL THE EMOTIONAL BOND by staying in no contact and one day you'll back and be like
Brehs i've been where you been i loved my ex more than I loved any women, I loved her so much I accepted "friendship" and ended up living in hell for literally 5 years of being strung along, I love you reinscarf, what if we get back together all those friggin breadcrumbs to draw me back in when she saw I was moving away, until I finally couldn't take it anymore and withdrew and never contacted her again (its been almost 2 years now). Just imagine if I continued to be around hopin for her to come around, now shes pregnant and for all I know will prob get married, I would have been friggin gutted, but I took my exit and now its meh, I never thought I could get to the point in my life where a woman I loved so much could be pregnant for another man and its like
.
All the time you waste on someone who doesn't want you the way you want them is time you can't get back, the outcome won't change, there are so many women out there praying every day and night for a man to love them the way you love these women who don't feel the same way about you. STOP WASTING TIME, stay no contact your mind will clear one day.
I keep telling y'all you will blink your eyes and months or even years will pass and you'll be the EXACT SAME POSITION. THen one day you'll hop on facebook and see she's in a relationship, or pregnant, or gasp married all while you sat back waiting for her to come around.
KILL THE EMOTIONAL BOND by staying in no contact and one day you'll back and be like
Brehs i've been where you been i loved my ex more than I loved any women, I loved her so much I accepted "friendship" and ended up living in hell for literally 5 years of being strung along, I love you reinscarf, what if we get back together all those friggin breadcrumbs to draw me back in when she saw I was moving away, until I finally couldn't take it anymore and withdrew and never contacted her again (its been almost 2 years now). Just imagine if I continued to be around hopin for her to come around, now shes pregnant and for all I know will prob get married, I would have been friggin gutted, but I took my exit and now its meh, I never thought I could get to the point in my life where a woman I loved so much could be pregnant for another man and its like
.All the time you waste on someone who doesn't want you the way you want them is time you can't get back, the outcome won't change, there are so many women out there praying every day and night for a man to love them the way you love these women who don't feel the same way about you. STOP WASTING TIME, stay no contact your mind will clear one day.
Just think back to that one woman who was totally into you, it didn't matter how corny your joke was, didn't matter what you wearing, didnt matter where you would go, didn't matter what you did, didn't matter if dudes with a better car, better body no homo, better job, better living situation hollared at her.
You were her number 1!!, you were eric snow and she was larry brown you weren't losing your spot no matter what.
if you don't have that with your woman if your not number 1 your just wasting your time
don't you want to win brehs?
dont you just want a woman to want you for you, a woman to not stress you out, a woman who makes it clear she wants you and her words matches her actions
You were her number 1!!, you were eric snow and she was larry brown you weren't losing your spot no matter what.
if you don't have that with your woman if your not number 1 your just wasting your time
don't you want to win brehs?
dont you just want a woman to want you for you, a woman to not stress you out, a woman who makes it clear she wants you and her words matches her actions
<<TheStandard>>
I Am A God
satireprod
Superstar
Hit em' with that 500 days of Summer..classic scene
dope movie
and this is what happens when you "hang around" and accept demotion, or hang around as she's not "sure"
she will string you along, maybe you'll kiss, lie in bed together and all, you'll blink your eyes and years and years have gone by. Then you;ll find out she's "serious" with a friend, or pregnant, or engaged or married.
Swamp-Thing
Avatar of the Green
I've even watched 500 Days of Summer twice in the past year lol.
First off, Emperor ReinScarf clearly knows what he's saying and I got a lot of respect for someone that will impart such sound advice to those like myself who are hurting. I couldn't disagree with a single point you made when I think about things. So I just wanna say, man to man, I appreciate everything and you are right.
Honestly as I read your responses, it hurt, but was also sobering. In my heart, I been wishing there was some alternative to it not working. I thought maybe if I loved her enough, improved myself, just stuck with it, then at some point the power would even out and things would settle down. I'm just stubborn and crazy enough (yes, we're both a little unstable) that I fought off sound logic this long for some "expectation" in my head that this girl was going to love me. I mean we have loved eachother but not really, not completely, and in the healthy context of a committed relationship.
I think she knows what's up, she been texting me sexy pics all night. Torture.
First off, Emperor ReinScarf clearly knows what he's saying and I got a lot of respect for someone that will impart such sound advice to those like myself who are hurting. I couldn't disagree with a single point you made when I think about things. So I just wanna say, man to man, I appreciate everything and you are right.
Honestly as I read your responses, it hurt, but was also sobering. In my heart, I been wishing there was some alternative to it not working. I thought maybe if I loved her enough, improved myself, just stuck with it, then at some point the power would even out and things would settle down. I'm just stubborn and crazy enough (yes, we're both a little unstable) that I fought off sound logic this long for some "expectation" in my head that this girl was going to love me. I mean we have loved eachother but not really, not completely, and in the healthy context of a committed relationship.
I think she knows what's up, she been texting me sexy pics all night. Torture.
satireprod
Superstar
^500 days of summer is a deep movie. Got to make it to day 501 and into Autumn.
thanks breh, ive been there myself man. It's a horrible place to be where you love and care about a woman so much but she doesn't feel the same way you do. But I'm telling you and everyone else if a woman wants to be with you nothing will stop her, not distance, not time apart, not a ring on her finger, not kids, hell not even if you cheated on her nothing.
I've seen it with my own damn eyes, hell at one point in my life i was dealing with this chick she told me she loved me, i didn't even feel anything for her wasn't even attracted, we stopped talking for almost 3 years i changed my number and all that, then by chance we ran into each other. She told me she thought about me every day, showed me all the emails she sent that went into the abyss as I never even used that e-mail anymore. She was dating a guy then and threw him to the bushes to try and get me, again I felt nothing for her not even attraction
but i was just using it as an example when a woman wants you NOTHING WILL STOP HER.The feelings of oh no if I don't message her she will forget about me, or she will get that attention elsewhere are just thoughts that need to be eradicated .
sometimes time apart can be good the 21 days will help you both think clearer, even after the 21 days if it doesn't work out how you want it, at least you know you went three weeks you can do another 3 weeks and much more.
All I know for me as I get older I look back and smh at all the time I wasted, all the women out there I could have dated who wanted me and I wasted so much time on a broad who didn't feel the same way never again
if you get over this you'll be able to get over anything
even now with women once i pick up the interest isn't there I just depart, no biggie