Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[MikelArteta]

Anybody have any tips for going no-contact? This girl is driving me crazy and she knows she has control. I'm in love with this girl but she will not commit to me. I know I need to do something, but I want her so much.

Yeah I have tons of tips for going no contact, START IT RIGHT NOW!!!. Cut all contact sever all ties, block on facebook, instagram, twitter. Delete her phone number, put all photos away, and day by day it'll get easier.

Do I tell her I am cutting her off? She knows what I want but she'll get quiet whenever I confront her or she changes the subject about our current arrangement.

If she contacts me? No-contact means I don't pick up, right? How many times do I let her contact me before I end the no-contact? After X amount of days?

Why do you need to tell her anything? is she your girlfriend? are you wearing a ring on teh finger? you owe her nothing go cold kill the emotional connection.

Breh I wouldn't end no contact until shes bursting through that door saying she wants to be with you, or until you kill the emotional connection.

Do I never end the no-contact? I'm just struggling between actually cutting her off and standing up for myself as a man. I'm just trying to get this straight in my head so I can execute proper. To be honest, it almost gives me a panic attack thinking about not being with her. I think about her like every minute and have the urge to call, text, see her pretty much constantly. I got it real bad right now.

Why not stand up for yourself as a man, tell her how you feel if shes interested yes if shes not then well thats it, walk away as a man and don't look back Panic atack, calling texting all of this is like a crack addictin struggling to give up their addiction. I'm telling you if you go cold turkey yes its hard but every day it gets easier, you cant walk on ab roken foot the first few days, weeks, but after a while you can walk on that first, then run on that foot

At times, it'll seem like she's ready to give me the commitment, including moving in together, marriage, kids, etc and then later she will be playing it cool, not hitting me up, and pushing me away when I contact her. I know these are all bad signs but......damn I never had that "oh this is my wife" feeling with anyone else in my life (29 years).

Any help is much appreciated!

breh it doesn't matter how you feel if the other person doesn't feel the same way, 1+1 = 2 not 1+0

You can't force someone to be with you, can't force someone to love you or feel the same way you do about them.

Results of trying to go no-contact in the past:
-After 2 weeks, she showed up at my front door, blew me and invited me to her family vacation

-Telling me she needed me to come see her asap, after I gave her an ultimatum (commitment or cut off) and that she was ready to commit. Next day she was being quiet and then said actually she is still not ready (I told her to never do this ever ever again.)

-Every other time I can only do 1-2 days no contact and then there's always something I have to tell her or think I have to tell her

your just the backup breh, just the i know i have him if he departs i can just show up, give him sex or suck his dikk and have him around my finger, she has no respect for you

Go No contact and dont look back

 

[MikelArteta]

I'm going for 3 weeks, no contact, starting today. She's gonna go nuts but maybe that will finally get the point across that if there is no real commitment that means I could be gone at any time. What if surprisingly I just stopped talking to her, seemingly out of the blue? Maybe she will finally get with the program.

I'm going to use the next 21 days and just focus on myself; health (gym + diet + sleep), career, family & friends. After the 21 days I am going to get back in contact with her and see if anything changes.

A few more details:
- I dated her for a while 10 years ago. I fukked it up back then, we were kids at that time. But whether she knew back then or not, she was/is my first love (she knows now).

- Rekindled a little under a year ago at her niece's birthday party. I'm real tight with her sister's BD and actually with her whole family. We been dating/chilling/spending a lot of time and getting to know each other since that day. Her parents are together and they are all cool. Everyone is just waiting for her to grow up and be with me, although I don't want her to feel like she's settling or force something she doesn't want. Although I think she does love me too, she's says she loves me.

- Neither one of us has had much luck in the past with relationships. Her last 2 exes beat her, abused her verbally, wife swapped her, took her money, the list goes on. All I know is she makes me a better man, or at the very least she makes ME want to be a better man and more mature everyday. At the same time, it drives me crazy that the woman I love, who is making me better, doesn't feel like a commitment is necessary.

- You seen that Khloe Kardashian Complex cover today? She looks like that but prettier face, although probably not quite as tall. A pretty, thick, white girl with great assets and who can provide for herself as a school teacher. I'm very pleased with this girl in every category except the relationship status.

It's like y'all are saying, she's immature at the very least. I need to break out of this cycle though for my own sanity.

If people want I can post an update after the 21 days. I'm still getting my head around it.

nothing will change man nothing you'll be here after 21 days kicking yourself for breaking 21 days of no contact. No contact isn't to get her back or make her miss you, No contact is to destroy the emotional bond

 

[NerdNash]

Man I've almost folded 3 times today.

Lmao 30 days gonna be rough but I honestly believe she's going to fold and hit me up.

7 years brehs. 7 years.

 

[Swing]

I'm going for 3 weeks, no contact, starting today. She's gonna go nuts but maybe that will finally get the point across that if there is no real commitment that means I could be gone at any time. What if surprisingly I just stopped talking to her, seemingly out of the blue? Maybe she will finally get with the program.
She probably will go nuts. Shes gonna blow up your phone, might come by and knock on your door. Stalk.

What's gonna happen after these 21 days breh? shyt will probably be good for a little while and slowly start going back to how it used to be.

I'm going to use the next 21 days and just focus on myself; health (gym + diet + sleep), career, family & friends. After the 21 days I am going to get back in contact with her and see if anything changes.
Keep that shyt up after those 21 days breh

A few more details:
- I dated her for a while 10 years ago. I fukked it up back then, we were kids at that time. But whether she knew back then or not, she was/is my first love (she knows now).

- Rekindled a little under a year ago at her niece's birthday party. I'm real tight with her sister's BD and actually with her whole family. We been dating/chilling/spending a lot of time and getting to know each other since that day. Her parents are together and they are all cool. Everyone is just waiting for her to grow up and be with me, although I don't want her to feel like she's settling or force something she doesn't want. Although I think she does love me too, she's says she loves me.
How old is she?

- Neither one of us has had much luck in the past with relationships. Her last 2 exes beat her, abused her verbally, wife swapped her, took her money, the list goes on. All I know is she makes me a better man, or at the very least she makes ME want to be a better man and more mature everyday. At the same time, it drives me crazy that the woman I love, who is making me better, doesn't feel like a commitment is necessary.
You know this for sure breh? She either lying or, no offense, she's mentally ill. Chicks who stay and go back to those types are people you should avoid. If she's not being dominated and degraded, she'll be the one doing just that.

- You seen that Khloe Kardashian Complex cover today? She looks like that but prettier face, although probably not quite as tall. A pretty, thick, white girl with great assets and who can provide for herself as a school teacher. I'm very pleased with this girl in every category except the relationship status.

It's like y'all are saying, she's immature at the very least. I need to break out of this cycle though for my own sanity.

If people want I can post an update after the 21 days. I'm still getting my head around it.

Response in bold...

Hope it turns out well for you. If you face the harsh reality of having to cut her off for good be strong and do just that for your own sanity.

 

[MikelArteta]

Chicks who stay and go back to those types are people you should avoid. If she's not being dominated and degraded, she'll be the one doing just that.

I've associated twice in my life with a) a woman who has been abused in a previous relationship

b) a woman who was cheated on in a previous relationshi, used etc.

many times like you mentioned these chicks are lost, you'll be the nice sweet safe guy and after awhile they will find that "boring".

they'll give mr a$$hole, mr cheater, mr player, mr abuser chance after chance after chance and loyalty, but they will give mr sweet nice guy who mom approves none

 

[MikelArteta]

Man I've almost folded 3 times today.

Lmao 30 days gonna be rough but I honestly believe she's going to fold and hit me up.

7 years brehs. 7 years.

keep it going, as time goes on the "shakes" get less

whenever you feel like folding take a walk till it dies down, you'l be right back at square one if you break nc

 

[<<TheStandard>>]

I'm going for 3 weeks, no contact, starting today. She's gonna go nuts but maybe that will finally get the point across that if there is no real commitment that means I could be gone at any time. What if surprisingly I just stopped talking to her, seemingly out of the blue? Maybe she will finally get with the program.

I'm going to use the next 21 days and just focus on myself; health (gym + diet + sleep), career, family & friends. After the 21 days I am going to get back in contact with her and see if anything changes.

A few more details:
- I dated her for a while 10 years ago. I fukked it up back then, we were kids at that time. But whether she knew back then or not, she was/is my first love (she knows now).

- Rekindled a little under a year ago at her niece's birthday party. I'm real tight with her sister's BD and actually with her whole family. We been dating/chilling/spending a lot of time and getting to know each other since that day. Her parents are together and they are all cool. Everyone is just waiting for her to grow up and be with me, although I don't want her to feel like she's settling or force something she doesn't want. Although I think she does love me too, she's says she loves me.

- Neither one of us has had much luck in the past with relationships. Her last 2 exes beat her, abused her verbally, wife swapped her, took her money, the list goes on. All I know is she makes me a better man, or at the very least she makes ME want to be a better man and more mature everyday. At the same time, it drives me crazy that the woman I love, who is making me better, doesn't feel like a commitment is necessary.

- You seen that Khloe Kardashian Complex cover today? She looks like that but prettier face, although probably not quite as tall. A pretty, thick, white girl with great assets and who can provide for herself as a school teacher. I'm very pleased with this girl in every category except the relationship status.

It's like y'all are saying, she's immature at the very least. I need to break out of this cycle though for my own sanity.

If people want I can post an update after the 21 days. I'm still getting my head around it.

I don't believe in trying to give ultimatums or forcing peoples hands into doing what you want. Stuff like that only causes resentment. If she doesn't want to commit to you, take it as a blessing, throw her in the bushes and find someone else. There's plenty of women who'd would love for a man to commit to them meanwhile you're settling for a girl who you love but doesn't want to be with you long term. If a girl doesn't want to commit to you she obviously just isn't that into you. Sounds like she's settling with you just for the moment.

You said she hasn't had luck in relationships due to being with abusive men? I'm guessing you're everything but that? Right? It's easier said than done once your emotions get involved but I would get rid of her and thank God for showing me she's not the one, sooner rather than later.

 

[MikelArteta]

I don't mean to be harsh but y'all are wasting your time waiting for a woman to "come to her senses and come back to you". Stop putting your life on hold for a woman, trust me the majority of them won't for you. Yeah its painful because you love her and etc. etc. but its all the emotional bond. Doesn't matter the amount of "years", or how you "feel", "shes the one" and all that, it doesn't matter IF SHE DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME WAY. and a woman that feels the same way won't be out there weighing her options, being hesitant, having you on old.

I keep telling y'all you will blink your eyes and months or even years will pass and you'll be the EXACT SAME POSITION. THen one day you'll hop on facebook and see she's in a relationship, or pregnant, or gasp married all while you sat back waiting for her to come around.

KILL THE EMOTIONAL BOND by staying in no contact and one day you'll back and be like

Brehs i've been where you been i loved my ex more than I loved any women, I loved her so much I accepted "friendship" and ended up living in hell for literally 5 years of being strung along, I love you reinscarf, what if we get back together all those friggin breadcrumbs to draw me back in when she saw I was moving away, until I finally couldn't take it anymore and withdrew and never contacted her again (its been almost 2 years now). Just imagine if I continued to be around hopin for her to come around, now shes pregnant and for all I know will prob get married, I would have been friggin gutted, but I took my exit and now its meh, I never thought I could get to the point in my life where a woman I loved so much could be pregnant for another man and its like .

All the time you waste on someone who doesn't want you the way you want them is time you can't get back, the outcome won't change, there are so many women out there praying every day and night for a man to love them the way you love these women who don't feel the same way about you. STOP WASTING TIME, stay no contact your mind will clear one day.

 

[MikelArteta]

Just think back to that one woman who was totally into you, it didn't matter how corny your joke was, didn't matter what you wearing, didnt matter where you would go, didn't matter what you did, didn't matter if dudes with a better car, better body no homo, better job, better living situation hollared at her.

You were her number 1!!, you were eric snow and she was larry brown you weren't losing your spot no matter what.

if you don't have that with your woman if your not number 1 your just wasting your time
don't you want to win brehs?

dont you just want a woman to want you for you, a woman to not stress you out, a woman who makes it clear she wants you and her words matches her actions

 

[<<TheStandard>>]

 

[satireprod]

Hit em' with that 500 days of Summer..classic scene

 

[MikelArteta]

dope movie

and this is what happens when you "hang around" and accept demotion, or hang around as she's not "sure"

she will string you along, maybe you'll kiss, lie in bed together and all, you'll blink your eyes and years and years have gone by. Then you;ll find out she's "serious" with a friend, or pregnant, or engaged or married.

 

[Swamp-Thing]

I've even watched 500 Days of Summer twice in the past year lol.

First off, Emperor ReinScarf clearly knows what he's saying and I got a lot of respect for someone that will impart such sound advice to those like myself who are hurting. I couldn't disagree with a single point you made when I think about things. So I just wanna say, man to man, I appreciate everything and you are right.

Honestly as I read your responses, it hurt, but was also sobering. In my heart, I been wishing there was some alternative to it not working. I thought maybe if I loved her enough, improved myself, just stuck with it, then at some point the power would even out and things would settle down. I'm just stubborn and crazy enough (yes, we're both a little unstable) that I fought off sound logic this long for some "expectation" in my head that this girl was going to love me. I mean we have loved eachother but not really, not completely, and in the healthy context of a committed relationship.

I think she knows what's up, she been texting me sexy pics all night. Torture.

 

[NerdNash]

Cmon breh why u doing this to me

 

[satireprod]

^500 days of summer is a deep movie. Got to make it to day 501 and into Autumn.