Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[TrapHouse Rock]

How would you all go about "getting your foot in the door?" I feel that I can carry on and be cool with a female, but it's just the initial first impression that usually killed me. I'm not one of those social butterfly types, but I'm not a brooding emo type either. I used to get so damn frustrated when my homies could talk to females so naturally, then shyt would get awkward when I try the same. Basically the only time I ever could pull it off was if we somehow knew each other through other ways, or if maybe we had a class together or worked together....

I feel if I can get over this hurdle things may get a little more simple....

Yep just approach more people. At first you think it will be weird to start conversations with strangers, but sometimes its as simple as it seems. I used to be very retreated and shy now I can have a conversation with anyone about anything. The mouthpiece improves with practice and knowing who you're talking to and how to approach them. I've always been an observant person when meeting new people so I pick up on a lot of things that make conversation easy. I see people from high school who knew me as a shy quiet cat, but my current friends would wish I would shut the fukk up

 

[Lo-Co]

haha i was oblivious at 20 in college, took me a long time to stop being so damn naive. its best to not understand it and go at your own pace/flow. some people jump into the college culture too hard and change themselves completely often for the worse. i also have never dated much though looking back I never had trouble with women - I just didn't notice them enough or psyched myself out

only advice i can give to a college student (not that you're asking for it ) is to treat those well that treat you well (in terms of friends) and keep those grades up. i broke down the door I was trying to knock down but it took me a couple years after college cause I had one or two semesters. And improve yourself in ways you think are important not based on perception - a lot of my confidence came late in college but most of my growth as a man came after graduating though


bout to start grad school in my dream field and moving to a new city this week

where you moving to?

in college i'm more out there with people i'm comfortable with. i was never one of those brash guys. i'm always mellow. im just not much of a party guy either. but i can go out and have fun when needed. even if i'm alone ill have fun. i feel different mainly because everyone at my college smokes or drinks. and i don't have interest in either one. yet i don't chastise those for partaking in such things. i know i wont change the core of who i am to please people. right now i'm in a loner phase, but i feel it will change. This semester i want to get out more. and workout. i just feel like my level could be higher.

 

[Action Mike]

I might increase my min age limit, these young broads (20, 21) think there slick and I found myself dumbing down the convo a bit. Might as well save the hassle and send the bushes text

The feedback from late 20s chicks been better

 

[360dagod]

[Have mQUOTE="Officialniccabreh, post: 14471178, member: 1146"]Totally relate to this bro,whats really setting me back is my lack of social life i dont really have friends I can go out and meet women with.I really what to get out there but its like where do i go? im not into the whole nightlife scene and i dont feel right cold approaching women on the street that i find attractive. I've witnessed dudes who try to approach women get hit with the "do i know you? " and im scared to death of putting myself in an awkward situation like that.
im only 22 so its not at a crisis just yet but damn i really feel the only option i have is with online dating; i rarely get responses from women nowadays so im just stuck in a hard place.[/QUOTE]

No wingman makes things tougher..

But i used to go alot of places by myself when i was motivated

 

[Brandsdale]

[Have mQUOTE="Officialniccabreh, post: 14471178, member: 1146"]Totally relate to this bro,whats really setting me back is my lack of social life i dont really have friends I can go out and meet women with.I really what to get out there but its like where do i go? im not into the whole nightlife scene and i dont feel right cold approaching women on the street that i find attractive. I've witnessed dudes who try to approach women get hit with the "do i know you? " and im scared to death of putting myself in an awkward situation like that.
im only 22 so its not at a crisis just yet but damn i really feel the only option i have is with online dating; i rarely get responses from women nowadays so im just stuck in a hard place.

No wingman makes things tougher..

But i used to go alot of places by myself when i was motivated[/QUOTE]
Sometimes you gotta say fukk it and have a day to yourself and have a do whatever you want on your own. Go to the city, explore and have a day on your own along the way you meet a couple chics. I told myself this as well which is why Im thinking of just going to this art gallery in Toronto or a museum after I get my Dreads retwisted

 

[NerdNash]

Day 7 no contact brehs.

Gonna stay mad busy all week.

Her sister texted me saying she's been talking about me wondering why I haven't hit her up

Her sister told me to keep doing what I'm doing she's slowly folding.

 

[TrapHouse Rock]

where you moving to?

in college i'm more out there with people i'm comfortable with. i was never one of those brash guys. i'm always mellow. im just not much of a party guy either. but i can go out and have fun when needed. even if i'm alone ill have fun. i feel different mainly because everyone at my college smokes or drinks. and i don't have interest in either one. yet i don't chastise those for partaking in such things. i know i wont change the core of who i am to please people. right now i'm in a loner phase, but i feel it will change. This semester i want to get out more. and workout. i just feel like my level could be higher.

I was very much the same way except I did drink (not as much as to start). Yeah, I had to start making more of a conscious effort to workout and set up more things to do. I started playing basketball heavy and made a lot of friends through that and then we just crewed up and the rest was history. Everyone else I knew from freshman year and that was my circle I could bounce between.

If you're a sophomore or 2nd year, that's the year where I felt more down than anything. Ain't shyt new, you're not new but you still got the same amount of work and everything just gets dull that year. I wish I had kept a better attitude that year but it is what it is.

Moving to Philadelphia but I'd go anywhere

 

[Swamp-Thing]

Anybody have any tips for going no-contact? This girl is driving me crazy and she knows she has control. I'm in love with this girl but she will not commit to me. I know I need to do something, but I want her so much.

Do I tell her I am cutting her off? She knows what I want but she'll get quiet whenever I confront her or she changes the subject about our current arrangement.

If she contacts me? No-contact means I don't pick up, right? How many times do I let her contact me before I end the no-contact? After X amount of days?

Do I never end the no-contact? I'm just struggling between actually cutting her off and standing up for myself as a man. I'm just trying to get this straight in my head so I can execute proper. To be honest, it almost gives me a panic attack thinking about not being with her. I think about her like every minute and have the urge to call, text, see her pretty much constantly. I got it real bad right now.

At times, it'll seem like she's ready to give me the commitment, including moving in together, marriage, kids, etc and then later she will be playing it cool, not hitting me up, and pushing me away when I contact her. I know these are all bad signs but......damn I never had that "oh this is my wife" feeling with anyone else in my life (29 years).

Any help is much appreciated!

Results of trying to go no-contact in the past:
-After 2 weeks, she showed up at my front door, blew me and invited me to her family vacation

-Telling me she needed me to come see her asap, after I gave her an ultimatum (commitment or cut off) and that she was ready to commit. Next day she was being quiet and then said actually she is still not ready (I told her to never do this ever ever again.)

-Every other time I can only do 1-2 days no contact and then there's always something I have to tell her or think I have to tell her

 

[LordTaskForce]

@Swamp-Thing You need some other p*ssy man. If you got another joint, you aren't going to trip off what one does.

 

[Swamp-Thing]

@Swamp-Thing You need some other p*ssy man. If you got another joint, you aren't going to trip off what one does.

Word, I know. I'm so set on this one though, no other girls are comparing to her for me right now and that's the problem.

 

[Ghanaian Armor]

For the Brothers saying they are rejection averse this is how I dealt with it personally.

I improved my scope vision, and make sure you criteria selection is not too narrow. You have to get better at scoping out humble females. If you keep getting attitude and dogged out your radar is fukked up and needs calibration.


Learn to pick up on small details involved in body language, habits and tone of speech to identify bad hoes (emotionally unstable, unavailable, confused) and Women who you likely will not "vibe" with. When you dodge bad hoes you save valuable time, money and energy to apply game more accurately and eloquently to the girls that will give you the most ROI. Thereby increasing your abundance mentality and success rate.

I have a unique (patent pending) method for doing this but I won't post it unless cats want to read a some graphs complete w/ interactive pics

 

[Swing]

Word, I know. I'm so set on this one though, no other girls are comparing to her for me right now and that's the problem.

Tread carefully breh... I read your previous post and it seems like she calls your bluff each time and you fold.

Tell us some more about this chick, family situation?

 

[Rich Spirit]

Anybody have any tips for going no-contact? This girl is driving me crazy and she knows she has control. I'm in love with this girl but she will not commit to me. I know I need to do something, but I want her so much.

Do I tell her I am cutting her off? She knows what I want but she'll get quiet whenever I confront her or she changes the subject about our current arrangement.

If she contacts me? No-contact means I don't pick up, right? How many times do I let her contact me before I end the no-contact? After X amount of days?

Do I never end the no-contact? I'm just struggling between actually cutting her off and standing up for myself as a man. I'm just trying to get this straight in my head so I can execute proper. To be honest, it almost gives me a panic attack thinking about not being with her. I think about her like every minute and have the urge to call, text, see her pretty much constantly. I got it real bad right now.

At times, it'll seem like she's ready to give me the commitment, including moving in together, marriage, kids, etc and then later she will be playing it cool, not hitting me up, and pushing me away when I contact her. I know these are all bad signs but......damn I never had that "oh this is my wife" feeling with anyone else in my life (29 years).

Any help is much appreciated!

Results of trying to go no-contact in the past:
-After 2 weeks, she showed up at my front door, blew me and invited me to her family vacation

-Telling me she needed me to come see her asap, after I gave her an ultimatum (commitment or cut off) and that she was ready to commit. Next day she was being quiet and then said actually she is still not ready (I told her to never do this ever ever again.)

-Every other time I can only do 1-2 days no contact and then there's always something I have to tell her or think I have to tell her

A chick that is really interested in you will not make things confusing. She sounds young and immature

 

[MikelArteta]

Anybody have any tips for going no-contact? This girl is driving me crazy and she knows she has control. I'm in love with this girl but she will not commit to me. I know I need to do something, but I want her so much.

Do I tell her I am cutting her off? She knows what I want but she'll get quiet whenever I confront her or she changes the subject about our current arrangement.

If she contacts me? No-contact means I don't pick up, right? How many times do I let her contact me before I end the no-contact? After X amount of days?

Do I never end the no-contact? I'm just struggling between actually cutting her off and standing up for myself as a man. I'm just trying to get this straight in my head so I can execute proper. To be honest, it almost gives me a panic attack thinking about not being with her. I think about her like every minute and have the urge to call, text, see her pretty much constantly. I got it real bad right now.

At times, it'll seem like she's ready to give me the commitment, including moving in together, marriage, kids, etc and then later she will be playing it cool, not hitting me up, and pushing me away when I contact her. I know these are all bad signs but......damn I never had that "oh this is my wife" feeling with anyone else in my life (29 years).

Any help is much appreciated!

Results of trying to go no-contact in the past:
-After 2 weeks, she showed up at my front door, blew me and invited me to her family vacation

-Telling me she needed me to come see her asap, after I gave her an ultimatum (commitment or cut off) and that she was ready to commit. Next day she was being quiet and then said actually she is still not ready (I told her to never do this ever ever again.)

-Every other time I can only do 1-2 days no contact and then there's always something I have to tell her or think I have to tell her

Let's break this down

 

[Swamp-Thing]

I'm going for 3 weeks, no contact, starting today. She's gonna go nuts but maybe that will finally get the point across that if there is no real commitment that means I could be gone at any time. What if surprisingly I just stopped talking to her, seemingly out of the blue? Maybe she will finally get with the program.

I'm going to use the next 21 days and just focus on myself; health (gym + diet + sleep), career, family & friends. After the 21 days I am going to get back in contact with her and see if anything changes.

A few more details:
- I dated her for a while 10 years ago. I fukked it up back then, we were kids at that time. But whether she knew back then or not, she was/is my first love (she knows now).

- Rekindled a little under a year ago at her niece's birthday party. I'm real tight with her sister's BD and actually with her whole family. We been dating/chilling/spending a lot of time and getting to know each other since that day. Her parents are together and they are all cool. Everyone is just waiting for her to grow up and be with me, although I don't want her to feel like she's settling or force something she doesn't want. Although I think she does love me too, she's says she loves me.

- Neither one of us has had much luck in the past with relationships. Her last 2 exes beat her, abused her verbally, wife swapped her, took her money, the list goes on. All I know is she makes me a better man, or at the very least she makes ME want to be a better man and more mature everyday. At the same time, it drives me crazy that the woman I love, who is making me better, doesn't feel like a commitment is necessary.

- You seen that Khloe Kardashian Complex cover today? She looks like that but prettier face, although probably not quite as tall. A pretty, thick, white girl with great assets and who can provide for herself as a school teacher. I'm very pleased with this girl in every category except the relationship status.

It's like y'all are saying, she's immature at the very least. I need to break out of this cycle though for my own sanity.

If people want I can post an update after the 21 days. I'm still getting my head around it.