Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Turbulent]

Aight so these posts are before my exile and speaking more to where I need to be mentally so I feel a need to respond positively. This may need to be in another general thread or even possibly PMs but the dialogue was born here so I'll respond here for now



Short term goals (possibly too big because they aren't daily check-in goals):
Bench 185 pounds, as in rep the shyt 10x
Run 3 miles regularly
Sell athe least 1 song I've written (and produced) to an artist with a significant following (can draw a crowd of about 1,000)
Create a cohesive farewell project that rivals or eclipses those of the mainstream nikkas we stan/hate/critique/support with dollars.
Learn an instrument (preferably piano)
Self-defense; learn to escape chokeholds, arm/leg bars, learn to efficiently knock folks out
Learn to fire a weapon as effective as a person with corrective lenses can
Learn to cry on command (acting classes)
Read 2 books per month
Finish book 1 of a trilogy I've had outlined for too long

I'm at the literal mid-point of high school graduation and the big 3-0. So, many irons in many fires seems necessary right now because if you told 14 year old me that I'd be in this position in 10 years I'd be extremely disappointed.

I did not list any female-oriented goals because the gems about improving overall quality of life, making yourself desirable by making yourself or actually being elusive via handling business, women making it easy when they want you, those have resonated with me the most. Not "shooting 1 for 96 in mama's crib". I feel like what I'm compelled to do has been said by others here but because they've had x amount of flings and are looking in hindsight, it's better received than (perceived) foresight.

I had someone approach me a couple months ago and it was a wakeup call to my "level"...it needs to be raised, and that requires work. And for my true north to be found, a lot of work and a lot of energy in multiple areas. So if a female (that I find fukkable) is insisting on sliding into one of my eight arms while I ain't shyt, cool. But most likely, I'm looking at this like a lease on an apartment. Revisit my goals every 12 months, if I've accomplished enough in my prioritized fields, a female-oriented goal can slide up into the priority list.

If support or big homie-type scoldings for slipping on my priorities can't be given due to a lack of dating goals (that IS the foundation of thread despite other branches forming), I understand

you don't have to get women for the sake of getting women. If you got other shyt to worry about, that's cool. But like Shadow King said, if deep down you want to interact with women and using those other goals as a crutch to run away from passed perceived failures, this attitude will manifest itself in your other goals.

As far as your goals, it's not that they are too big, it's just that you might need to break them down into smaller goals that lead up to them. Also, i forgot where i read it from but it was the concept of making the process itself your goal instead of the outcome. So for example, instead of having 185 benchpress as your goal you would make the process of lifting 3x a week and periodically increasing the weight (or whatever program) as your goal and the 185 would just naturally come.

 

[Shadow King]

you don't have to get women for the sake of getting women. If you got other shyt to worry about, that's cool. But like Shadow King said, if deep down you want to interact with women and using those other goals as a crutch to run away from passed perceived failures, this attitude will manifest itself in your other goals.

As far as your goals, it's not that they are too big, it's just that you might need to break them down into smaller goals that lead up to them. Also, i forgot where i read it from but it was the concept of making the process itself your goal instead of the outcome. So for example, instead of having 185 benchpress as your goal you would make the process of lifting 3x a week and periodically increasing the weight (or whatever program) as your goal and the 185 would just naturally come.

These goals are just me reaching for shyt I've wanted to do for years, that should've been done, things I should be halfway immersed in already. I don't believe choosing to leave women alone till further notice is gonna sabotage my drive to make a great tape, or learn a fighting style, or write a book, etc. Trying to actively discover my value in their eyes while striving, however, probably would. My formative years were spent seeking validation but I'm over that. Being able create, feed myself via my creation, and defend what belongs to me is far more important than how prolific I am with opening legs for RIGHT NOW. Not forever.

My goals aren't too big, it's the volume/number. Hell I forgot one on the list. But I know the point is to love the process/routine because I'm not gonna say "well I sold this one song so " or "well I learned this elbow strike I'm good ". For the specific example I've been lifting for 8 months already so I already get the journey aspect. I just gave that number since most my size aren't doing that yet it's realistic. Hell if I wasn't lifting I wouldn't be talking about goals at all I started because my father asked last year if I was depressed and I knew I needed to shake my life up.

 

[Turbulent]

These goals are just me reaching for shyt I've wanted to do for years, that should've been done, things I should be halfway immersed in already. I don't believe choosing to leave women alone till further notice is gonna sabotage my drive to make a great tape, or learn a fighting style, or write a book, etc. Trying to actively discover my value in their eyes while striving, however, probably would. My formative years were spent seeking validation but I'm over that. Being able create, feed myself via my creation, and defend what belongs to me is far more important than how prolific I am with opening legs for RIGHT NOW. Not forever.

My goals aren't too big, it's the volume/number. Hell I forgot one on the list. But I know the point is to love the process/routine because I'm not gonna say "well I sold this one song so " or "well I learned this elbow strike I'm good ". For the specific example I've been lifting for 8 months already so I already get the journey aspect. I just gave that number since most my size aren't doing that yet it's realistic. Hell if I wasn't lifting I wouldn't be talking about goals at all I started because my father asked last year if I was depressed and I knew I needed to shake my life up.

as far as lifting, check out the gym board on here if you haven't already. Lots of knowledgeable people on there. Also, one program that really helped me build a strength foundation is StrongLifts 5X5. Lost a good amount of fat on it and became way stronger. That program may have literally saved my life.

 

[True Blue Moon]

Aight so these posts are before my exile and speaking more to where I need to be mentally so I feel a need to respond positively. This may need to be in another general thread or even possibly PMs but the dialogue was born here so I'll respond here for now



Short term goals (possibly too big because they aren't daily check-in goals):
Bench 185 pounds, as in rep the shyt 10x
Run 3 miles regularly
Sell athe least 1 song I've written (and produced) to an artist with a significant following (can draw a crowd of about 1,000)
Create a cohesive farewell project that rivals or eclipses those of the mainstream nikkas we stan/hate/critique/support with dollars.
Learn an instrument (preferably piano)
Self-defense; learn to escape chokeholds, arm/leg bars, learn to efficiently knock folks out
Learn to fire a weapon as effective as a person with corrective lenses can
Learn to cry on command (acting classes)
Read 2 books per month
Finish book 1 of a trilogy I've had outlined for too long

I'm at the literal mid-point of high school graduation and the big 3-0. So, many irons in many fires seems necessary right now because if you told 14 year old me that I'd be in this position in 10 years I'd be extremely disappointed.

I did not list any female-oriented goals because the gems about improving overall quality of life, making yourself desirable by making yourself or actually being elusive via handling business, women making it easy when they want you, those have resonated with me the most. Not "shooting 1 for 96 in mama's crib". I feel like what I'm compelled to do has been said by others here but because they've had x amount of flings and are looking in hindsight, it's better received than (perceived) foresight.

I had someone approach me a couple months ago and it was a wakeup call to my "level"...it needs to be raised, and that requires work. And for my true north to be found, a lot of work and a lot of energy in multiple areas. So if a female (that I find fukkable) is insisting on sliding into one of my eight arms while I ain't shyt, cool. But most likely, I'm looking at this like a lease on an apartment. Revisit my goals every 12 months, if I've accomplished enough in my prioritized fields, a female-oriented goal can slide up into the priority list.

If support or big homie-type scoldings for slipping on my priorities can't be given due to a lack of dating goals (that IS the foundation of thread despite other branches forming), I understand

I would add when you're out and about every day, ask "How are you?", "How's it going?", "Hi" etc., with eye contact, to three people, males or females of any age, before the end of the day.

Doesn't have to turn into conversation. Just sharing good energy and greeting people.

 

[Shadow King]

I would add when you're out and about every day, ask "How are you?", "How's it going?", "Hi" etc., with eye contact, to three people, males or females of any age, before the end of the day.

Doesn't have to turn into conversation. Just sharing good energy and greeting people.

Unless a neighbor, coworker, and fellow gym rat doesn't count I kind of do this already I just don't keep count

 

[Ohene]

Unless a neighbor, coworker, and fellow gym rat doesn't count I kind of do this already I just don't keep count

they dont. the key is to do it to ppl you arent familiar with in anyway. complete strangers

 

[HearNoEvil]

Being told no is a sign that you're improving.

 

[K.Dot]

 

[Ohene]

lol. beat him to the -___- emoji

 

[Dreamzeedream]

Headed out Solo for the first time

 

[Shadow King]

as far as lifting, check out the gym board on here if you haven't already. Lots of knowledgeable people on there. Also, one program that really helped me build a strength foundation is StrongLifts 5X5. Lost a good amount of fat on it and became way stronger. That program may have literally saved my life.

I go in there but that section of the board doesn't get as much traffic as it deserves

Being told no is a sign that you're improving.

 

[HearNoEvil]

I go in there but that section of the board doesn't get as much traffic as it deserves

1. Put myself out there to improve
2. Get rejected
3. View rejection as improvement (I took action which is better than doing nothing)
4. Keep putting myself out there
5. Finally improve/get a few yeses

If someone is too afraid to be told no, they don't deserve success.

 

[Shadow King]

1. Put myself out there to improve
2. Get rejected
3. View rejection as improvement (I took action which is better than doing nothing)
4. Keep putting myself out there
5. Finally improve/get a few yeses

If someone is too afraid to be told no, they don't deserve success.

So the process of finding a yes is improvement. Not necessarily the no.

I can be very literal at times.

 

[HearNoEvil]

So the process of finding a yes is improvement. Not necessarily the no.

I can be very literal at times.

No. The no is the improvement. Go get told no.

Trying to find a yes means, "if I don't get a yes, I failed." That's the opposite of what I'm saying to you.

I want you to go get told no. Every time someone says no to you, you succeeded.

I want you to be, quite literally, surprised when someone says yes. Prepared of course, but surprised.

World beaters didn't get good at finding yeses. They became immune to the word no. Money, sex, power. They're all numbers games. Savvy?

 

[True Blue Moon]

Unless a neighbor, coworker, and fellow gym rat doesn't count I kind of do this already I just don't keep count

Alright then. When I suggested this a couple weeks ago you said you weren't in a position to take that baby step.

If speaking to strangers isn't a problem for you, take it up a notch and say hi to three women.