Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Shadow King]

Aight so these posts are before my exile and speaking more to where I need to be mentally so I feel a need to respond positively. This may need to be in another general thread or even possibly PMs but the dialogue was born here so I'll respond here for now

Check this out though. You're making the estimate that it's going to be a long ass journey with the same mindset that is keeping you struggling.

Of course a dude that is 300 pounds can't imagine that just putting down the soda, chips and wings and walking every day for 30 minutes could help him drop 20 pounds by next weekend. That's why people either find the will to change within or hire personal trainers to keep them accountable. If you asked the 300 pound dude though, he'd have excuses why it's IMPOSSIBLE to change his diet and that life is short so you gotta eat what you like.

As far as goals, I would never advise putting women on the shelf in the name of getting money and success -- I'd say put them, like everything in your life into its proper perspective and priority.

Example. Women are our mirror. Meaning, your success with women happens to be correlated with the same traits and attitudes that help you get money and career success. Dudes that are timid and weak don't get p*ssy, just like those traits aren't helpful in the landscape of life success.

So if a dude's major fukkup with women is that he is validation seeking, he'll know take that cut and learn from it and apply it in all other areas of his life. If a dude stutters when talking to women, he'll take speech lessons or sign up for toast masters.

Everything is everything, so prioritize, don't separate. Make everything in your life serve you. For instance, make sure any woman in your life adds to it and that she makes you better and cut off any chick that is a distraction. In terms of money, find the tools you need make your money serve you, as opposed to slaving away just to chase money.

When you cultivate self love and improvement, you'll treat life as your kingdom and will keep making it as good as it can be. It's important to be improving through that lens, because saying you're putting women to the side to get your money right COULD be necessary, but is most likely an excuse so that you don't have to worry about putting yourself out there and getting better in that regard.

Because even with money you'll end up being that rich dude buying p*ssy so that you never have to cultivate a personality.






Rant aside, you asked for some guidance about what goals to set. Breh, I'd keep women as a goal, as you secure your other goals as well. As far as that goes, set a BABY goal and keep making it harder as you get better.

For instance, your tomorrow goal could be to say hello to 5 strangers tomorrow in passing. Male or female. Since there's no attachment to outcome with that kind of goal, you're more likely to put yourself out there. Maybe next time you make it to say hello to 5 women.

So on and so forth, while moving toward a milestone goal of having sex, getting a girlfriend, getting a date or whatever it is you want out of this part of your life.

Bottom line, help is available and this doesn't have to be the big problem that you think it is. But it will absolutely, 100% take not just work, but continuously stepping outside of your comfort zone to do things you've never done, so that you can become what you've never been.

Fair enough breh. Whether it's with women or money, make sure that your validation and happiness comes within. That's a process in itself. Because once you do get out of your parents' crib and get your money super right, you'll need to make sure that you're bringing your happiness to that, as opposed to hoping that the money itself can do it.

Go after your goals relentlessly, but make sure you're also loving yourself. It makes getting the goals 100% more fulfilling and you'll take pride in the hard parts -- which there'll be plenty of any time you're working to better yourself.

Short term goals (possibly too big because they aren't daily check-in goals):
Bench 185 pounds, as in rep the shyt 10x
Run 3 miles regularly
Sell athe least 1 song I've written (and produced) to an artist with a significant following (can draw a crowd of about 1,000)
Create a cohesive farewell project that rivals or eclipses those of the mainstream nikkas we stan/hate/critique/support with dollars.
Learn an instrument (preferably piano)
Self-defense; learn to escape chokeholds, arm/leg bars, learn to efficiently knock folks out
Learn to fire a weapon as effective as a person with corrective lenses can
Learn to cry on command (acting classes)
Read 2 books per month
Finish book 1 of a trilogy I've had outlined for too long

I'm at the literal mid-point of high school graduation and the big 3-0. So, many irons in many fires seems necessary right now because if you told 14 year old me that I'd be in this position in 10 years I'd be extremely disappointed.

I did not list any female-oriented goals because the gems about improving overall quality of life, making yourself desirable by making yourself or actually being elusive via handling business, women making it easy when they want you, those have resonated with me the most. Not "shooting 1 for 96 in mama's crib". I feel like what I'm compelled to do has been said by others here but because they've had x amount of flings and are looking in hindsight, it's better received than (perceived) foresight.

I had someone approach me a couple months ago and it was a wakeup call to my "level"...it needs to be raised, and that requires work. And for my true north to be found, a lot of work and a lot of energy in multiple areas. So if a female (that I find fukkable) is insisting on sliding into one of my eight arms while I ain't shyt, cool. But most likely, I'm looking at this like a lease on an apartment. Revisit my goals every 12 months, if I've accomplished enough in my prioritized fields, a female-oriented goal can slide up into the priority list.

If support or big homie-type scoldings for slipping on my priorities can't be given due to a lack of dating goals (that IS the foundation of thread despite other branches forming), I understand

 

[Turbulent]

Aight so these posts are before my exile and speaking more to where I need to be mentally so I feel a need to respond positively. This may need to be in another general thread or even possibly PMs but the dialogue was born here so I'll respond here for now



Short term goals (possibly too big because they aren't daily check-in goals):
Bench 185 pounds, as in rep the shyt 10x
Run 3 miles regularly
Sell athe least 1 song I've written (and produced) to an artist with a significant following (can draw a crowd of about 1,000)
Create a cohesive farewell project that rivals or eclipses those of the mainstream nikkas we stan/hate/critique/support with dollars.
Learn an instrument (preferably piano)
Self-defense; learn to escape chokeholds, arm/leg bars, learn to efficiently knock folks out
Learn to fire a weapon as effective as a person with corrective lenses can
Learn to cry on command (acting classes)
Read 2 books per month
Finish book 1 of a trilogy I've had outlined for too long

I'm at the literal mid-point of high school graduation and the big 3-0. So, many irons in many fires seems necessary right now because if you told 14 year old me that I'd be in this position in 10 years I'd be extremely disappointed.

I did not list any female-oriented goals because the gems about improving overall quality of life, making yourself desirable by making yourself or actually being elusive via handling business, women making it easy when they want you, those have resonated with me the most. Not "shooting 1 for 96 in mama's crib". I feel like what I'm compelled to do has been said by others here but because they've had x amount of flings and are looking in hindsight, it's better received than (perceived) foresight.

I had someone approach me a couple months ago and it was a wakeup call to my "level"...it needs to be raised, and that requires work. And for my true north to be found, a lot of work and a lot of energy in multiple areas. So if a female (that I find fukkable) is insisting on sliding into one of my eight arms while I ain't shyt, cool. But most likely, I'm looking at this like a lease on an apartment. Revisit my goals every 12 months, if I've accomplished enough in my prioritized fields, a female-oriented goal can slide up into the priority list.

If support or big homie-type scoldings for slipping on my priorities can't be given due to a lack of dating goals (that IS the foundation of thread despite other branches forming), I understand

you don't have to get women for the sake of getting women. If you got other shyt to worry about, that's cool. But like Shadow King said, if deep down you want to interact with women and using those other goals as a crutch to run away from passed perceived failures, this attitude will manifest itself in your other goals.

As far as your goals, it's not that they are too big, it's just that you might need to break them down into smaller goals that lead up to them. Also, i forgot where i read it from but it was the concept of making the process itself your goal instead of the outcome. So for example, instead of having 185 benchpress as your goal you would make the process of lifting 3x a week and periodically increasing the weight (or whatever program) as your goal and the 185 would just naturally come.

 

[Shadow King]

you don't have to get women for the sake of getting women. If you got other shyt to worry about, that's cool. But like Shadow King said, if deep down you want to interact with women and using those other goals as a crutch to run away from passed perceived failures, this attitude will manifest itself in your other goals.

As far as your goals, it's not that they are too big, it's just that you might need to break them down into smaller goals that lead up to them. Also, i forgot where i read it from but it was the concept of making the process itself your goal instead of the outcome. So for example, instead of having 185 benchpress as your goal you would make the process of lifting 3x a week and periodically increasing the weight (or whatever program) as your goal and the 185 would just naturally come.

These goals are just me reaching for shyt I've wanted to do for years, that should've been done, things I should be halfway immersed in already. I don't believe choosing to leave women alone till further notice is gonna sabotage my drive to make a great tape, or learn a fighting style, or write a book, etc. Trying to actively discover my value in their eyes while striving, however, probably would. My formative years were spent seeking validation but I'm over that. Being able create, feed myself via my creation, and defend what belongs to me is far more important than how prolific I am with opening legs for RIGHT NOW. Not forever.

My goals aren't too big, it's the volume/number. Hell I forgot one on the list. But I know the point is to love the process/routine because I'm not gonna say "well I sold this one song so " or "well I learned this elbow strike I'm good ". For the specific example I've been lifting for 8 months already so I already get the journey aspect. I just gave that number since most my size aren't doing that yet it's realistic. Hell if I wasn't lifting I wouldn't be talking about goals at all I started because my father asked last year if I was depressed and I knew I needed to shake my life up.

 

[Turbulent]

These goals are just me reaching for shyt I've wanted to do for years, that should've been done, things I should be halfway immersed in already. I don't believe choosing to leave women alone till further notice is gonna sabotage my drive to make a great tape, or learn a fighting style, or write a book, etc. Trying to actively discover my value in their eyes while striving, however, probably would. My formative years were spent seeking validation but I'm over that. Being able create, feed myself via my creation, and defend what belongs to me is far more important than how prolific I am with opening legs for RIGHT NOW. Not forever.

My goals aren't too big, it's the volume/number. Hell I forgot one on the list. But I know the point is to love the process/routine because I'm not gonna say "well I sold this one song so " or "well I learned this elbow strike I'm good ". For the specific example I've been lifting for 8 months already so I already get the journey aspect. I just gave that number since most my size aren't doing that yet it's realistic. Hell if I wasn't lifting I wouldn't be talking about goals at all I started because my father asked last year if I was depressed and I knew I needed to shake my life up.

as far as lifting, check out the gym board on here if you haven't already. Lots of knowledgeable people on there. Also, one program that really helped me build a strength foundation is StrongLifts 5X5. Lost a good amount of fat on it and became way stronger. That program may have literally saved my life.

 

[True Blue Moon]

Aight so these posts are before my exile and speaking more to where I need to be mentally so I feel a need to respond positively. This may need to be in another general thread or even possibly PMs but the dialogue was born here so I'll respond here for now



Short term goals (possibly too big because they aren't daily check-in goals):
Bench 185 pounds, as in rep the shyt 10x
Run 3 miles regularly
Sell athe least 1 song I've written (and produced) to an artist with a significant following (can draw a crowd of about 1,000)
Create a cohesive farewell project that rivals or eclipses those of the mainstream nikkas we stan/hate/critique/support with dollars.
Learn an instrument (preferably piano)
Self-defense; learn to escape chokeholds, arm/leg bars, learn to efficiently knock folks out
Learn to fire a weapon as effective as a person with corrective lenses can
Learn to cry on command (acting classes)
Read 2 books per month
Finish book 1 of a trilogy I've had outlined for too long

I'm at the literal mid-point of high school graduation and the big 3-0. So, many irons in many fires seems necessary right now because if you told 14 year old me that I'd be in this position in 10 years I'd be extremely disappointed.

I did not list any female-oriented goals because the gems about improving overall quality of life, making yourself desirable by making yourself or actually being elusive via handling business, women making it easy when they want you, those have resonated with me the most. Not "shooting 1 for 96 in mama's crib". I feel like what I'm compelled to do has been said by others here but because they've had x amount of flings and are looking in hindsight, it's better received than (perceived) foresight.

I had someone approach me a couple months ago and it was a wakeup call to my "level"...it needs to be raised, and that requires work. And for my true north to be found, a lot of work and a lot of energy in multiple areas. So if a female (that I find fukkable) is insisting on sliding into one of my eight arms while I ain't shyt, cool. But most likely, I'm looking at this like a lease on an apartment. Revisit my goals every 12 months, if I've accomplished enough in my prioritized fields, a female-oriented goal can slide up into the priority list.

If support or big homie-type scoldings for slipping on my priorities can't be given due to a lack of dating goals (that IS the foundation of thread despite other branches forming), I understand

I would add when you're out and about every day, ask "How are you?", "How's it going?", "Hi" etc., with eye contact, to three people, males or females of any age, before the end of the day.

Doesn't have to turn into conversation. Just sharing good energy and greeting people.

 

[Shadow King]

I would add when you're out and about every day, ask "How are you?", "How's it going?", "Hi" etc., with eye contact, to three people, males or females of any age, before the end of the day.

Doesn't have to turn into conversation. Just sharing good energy and greeting people.

Unless a neighbor, coworker, and fellow gym rat doesn't count I kind of do this already I just don't keep count

 

[Ohene]

Unless a neighbor, coworker, and fellow gym rat doesn't count I kind of do this already I just don't keep count

they dont. the key is to do it to ppl you arent familiar with in anyway. complete strangers

 

[HearNoEvil]

Being told no is a sign that you're improving.

 

[K.Dot]

 

[Ohene]

lol. beat him to the -___- emoji

 

[Dreamzeedream]

Headed out Solo for the first time

 

[Shadow King]

as far as lifting, check out the gym board on here if you haven't already. Lots of knowledgeable people on there. Also, one program that really helped me build a strength foundation is StrongLifts 5X5. Lost a good amount of fat on it and became way stronger. That program may have literally saved my life.

I go in there but that section of the board doesn't get as much traffic as it deserves

Being told no is a sign that you're improving.

 

[HearNoEvil]

I go in there but that section of the board doesn't get as much traffic as it deserves

1. Put myself out there to improve
2. Get rejected
3. View rejection as improvement (I took action which is better than doing nothing)
4. Keep putting myself out there
5. Finally improve/get a few yeses

If someone is too afraid to be told no, they don't deserve success.

 

[Shadow King]

1. Put myself out there to improve
2. Get rejected
3. View rejection as improvement (I took action which is better than doing nothing)
4. Keep putting myself out there
5. Finally improve/get a few yeses

If someone is too afraid to be told no, they don't deserve success.

So the process of finding a yes is improvement. Not necessarily the no.

I can be very literal at times.

 

[HearNoEvil]

So the process of finding a yes is improvement. Not necessarily the no.

I can be very literal at times.

No. The no is the improvement. Go get told no.

Trying to find a yes means, "if I don't get a yes, I failed." That's the opposite of what I'm saying to you.

I want you to go get told no. Every time someone says no to you, you succeeded.

I want you to be, quite literally, surprised when someone says yes. Prepared of course, but surprised.

World beaters didn't get good at finding yeses. They became immune to the word no. Money, sex, power. They're all numbers games. Savvy?