Just had a nightmare nap that made me realize how much I let ptsd, low self esteem, anxiety and depression eat up so much of my teen years and early adulthood. Still in my 20s and look great.
My question. New women in my life is always a great feeling. After the nut what? I’m just gonna get better with women to fukk more and better looking ones? When I get a better job I just gonna make bread for independence and to cop shyt?
Where do I find joy, peace and fulfillment that is long term and not short term like sex and drugs?
Ultimately our own bodies, tell us that one woman, simply isn't going to satiate the void inside that hungers for something greater than say; sex. Yes, sex feels great, its an awesome release, but its only that, a release....it isn't fulfillment, it isn't a goal, and accomplishment, its just* sex. Men are naturally stoic or one can argue that society makes us this way. We are to work hard, prosper, and ultimately die without complaint. Which for me, is fine, they said nothing about boasting, giving advice and knowing I'm the best version of myself.
For you and I, life must be hard, we wouldn't want anything else. Procrastination leads to loneliness, bitterness and resentment. "Easy" is what we want to call sleep, and eating, but not life. I want to struggle, I want the trial by fire, so that I know for a fact; I'm better than every human I run into. Its a delusion I allow myself because it makes me read more, work out plenty, and give advice whenever I can. If I'm to choose a side, its that where I'm the beacon of strength, not the barnacle of life.
Peace comes from within, and no, it isn't easy. Stop looking for an easy way into your happiness, you must struggle the hardest, for yourself. Create your sanctuary, surround yourself with anything that brings you the slightest ounce of peace. For me it was walking miles a day, music in my ear, and stopping to read a new book. It then morphed into collecting, hobby/model kits, drawing/painting, and eventually writing. Peace doesn't stop, there is no ceiling, always add, never subtract. Become a renaissance man of sorts, and you'll realize peace was always there, waiting to be discovered by he who dare be bold.