Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[MikelArteta]

My sister is the perfect woman to me. She was a big part of raising me so maybe i'm biased but if her marriage fails thats all I need to know . About 34 years old. A procurement lawyer (which I dont need but hey...) cooks her ass off with foods from any country really. Holds my bro in law down who works for KPMG as a consultant. Two kids. Highschool sweethearts.

Same with my sister, only a year and a half older than me. Been married four years, two kids. Was a virgin when she got married, married a pastor.

My sister was not even able to have kids according to the dr but my brother in law still married her, my brother in law was out of work for like 7 months and my sister supported the family.

Just like others say good women are snagged up early my sis was off the market at 24

 

[MikelArteta]

I learned my lesson there, especially since I helped her through a tough time before that and it wasn't reciprocated in the least bit. The second I hit a rough patch, that's the time for you to think things over? Dogs show more loyalty than pretty much 90% of women.

That's why dogs are a mans best friend

 

[Ohene]

24 eh. My sis and her husband I am not too sure exactly how it went. I know it started in highschool but I think there might have been some breaks due to university. Maybe not though I might ask.

 

[Ohene]

I get on white ppl for being so enthralled with dogs but i cant lie. It's times I walk downtown and see a beautiful husky or something with a homeless bum outside of eaton centre and it makes me realize how great they must be.

 

[MikelArteta]

24 eh. My sis and her husband I am not too sure exactly how it went. I know it started in highschool but I think there might have been some breaks due to university. Maybe not though I might ask.

Yup and bro in law is Ghanaian hit the jackpot while I'm sorting threw filth still

 

[Malta]

Just like others say good women are snagged up early my sis was off the market at 24

My sister got snatched up her first year of Law school.

She works out, cooks, cleans, used to do capoeira, knits, doesn't listen to rap (), is actually funny, doesn't care one bit about celebrities and is very frugal. She always asking me to guess where and for how much she got some shoes or clothing from because it's cheap and she likes to get deals. I don't think she owns any single piece of clothing that costs more than $80.

Oh, and she's not on twitter or facebook, just Google+ which is attached to her email.

 

[Turbulent]

you can't get your balls back once you hand them off to a woman. she'll always know that if push comes to shove you'll fold and she can control you. and she'll lose her respect for you. once respect is gone that's a wrap.

sometimes people don't wanna let go but if they're honest with themselves they're not holding on to something that actually exist they're holding on to the idea that something can exist.

i get what you're telling him but your advice and his own attitude directly conflict with each other. its two opposing viewpoints. you're saying he has to be willing to let it go to make it work but the only reason he's still around is because he's unwilling to let it go. how does a person that's too invested in something to walk away from it show that they're willing to walk away and still manage to keep it?

great post.

i'll say this. it's not impossible to get your balls back but you have to truly change from within. you have to press the reset button on the whole game. it's almost like the person you were dies and you re-introduce yourself to her and it,s a completely new/fresh relationship. Time away often helps establish these new foundations as long as if she meets you again, you truly are a different person mentally. she will sense it.

I agree with you that you shouldn't hold on though. just let it go.

I think i didn't express myself properly. I think the way i said it makes it seem like a paradox. first, there are no guarantees of what will happen. What i'm saying as an external observer is that the option of him truly being ok with taking this L is actually the option that would increase his odds of saving the relationship. But you're right, if he thinks of it on those terms, it actually defeats the purpose since it becomes just a tactic.

how does a person that's too invested in something to walk away from it show that they're willing to walk away and still manage to keep it?

that's it though. it can't be just a show. His focus has to stop being about saving the relationship and start being about finding the path to happiness and following it. for his own sanity, he has to change his mindstate and stop feeling like he's in too deep to cut his loses. He can't just show he's willing to walk away. he has to get in the mindstate where he's actually willing to walk away. And what i was trying to say is that the irony of my advice is that it would actually increase the odds of his relationship being savable. but he shouldn't even care about that at this point.

 

[MikelArteta]

I get on white ppl for being so enthralled with dogs but i cant lie. It's times I walk downtown and see a beautiful husky or something with a homeless bum outside of eaton centre and it makes me realize how great they must be.

A dog doesn't care if your broke or rich, fat or skinny, or what you can provide. It'll always be happy wagging its tail when it sees you.

A dog is a mans eat fried while diamonds are a women

 

[Turbulent]

I think that's what alot of us struggle with when we're in a relationship brehs... its been said in this thread a million times, WHO a woman is, is unique to her, but WHAT a woman is, is universal... we deal with chicks and we think they're different, we fall in love and can't possibly believe she'd be this vindictive or manipulative etc, but it's not conscious for her, this is what she is and what she will always do... it doesn't even manifest in her mind as "I'M GOING TO HOLD THIS OVER HIM"... but thats what she'll do...

exactly. the fundamentals of the game will never change.

 

[MikelArteta]

My sister got snatched up her first year of Law school.

She works out, cooks, cleans, used to do capoeira, knits, doesn't listen to rap (), is actually funny, doesn't care one bit about celebrities and is very frugal. She always asking me to guess where and for how much she got some shoes or clothing from because it's cheap and she likes to get deals. I don't think she owns any single piece of clothing that costs more than $80.

Oh, and she's not on twitter or facebook, just Google+ which is attached to her email.

.Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

 

[Malta]

A dog doesn't care if your broke or rich, fat or skinny, or what you can provide. It'll always be happy wagging its tail when it sees you.

A dog is a mans eat fried while diamonds are a women

 

[CASHAPP]

Same with my sister, only a year and a half older than me. Been married four years, two kids. Was a virgin when she got married, married a pastor.

My sister was not even able to have kids according to the dr but my brother in law still married her, my brother in law was out of work for like 7 months and my sister supported the family.

Just like others say good women are snagged up early my sis was off the market at 24

You have some PMs. Sorry for the way its organized. Just wanted to get a third opinion on the situation after speaking to both kev and Art Barr.

Yeah it really is a pain to have some people...especially mothers and female adult figures(women are way too pushy about marriage) assume your gay or asexual and constantly talking about getting a girlfriend like its a candy or something and seem to be out of touch and not realize that most women today are NOT a prize and cause too much issues.

I really wonder if your right about the good women getting snagged up early. Im very cautious and especially with this girl(that i spoke about in the PM) i get very hesitant about the baggage they bring.

 

[MikelArteta]

I'm reading it ill get back to you soon

And it's true to me, all of the good women I know are married or engaged and been with that person from like 23/24

A guy knows when he has a good chick not to mess it up

 

[NerdNash]

great post.

i'll say this. it's not impossible to get your balls back but you have to truly change from within. you have to press the reset button on the whole game. it's almost like the person you were dies and you re-introduce yourself to her and it,s a completely new/fresh relationship. Time away often helps establish these new foundations as long as if she meets you again, you truly are a different person mentally. she will sense it.

I agree with you that you shouldn't hold on though. just let it go.

I think i didn't express myself properly. I think the way i said it makes it seem like a paradox. first, there are no guarantees of what will happen. What i'm saying as an external observer is that the option of him truly being ok with taking this L is actually the option that would increase his odds of saving the relationship. But you're right, if he thinks of it on those terms, it actually defeats the purpose since it becomes just a tactic.
that's it though. it can't be just a show. His focus has to stop being about saving the relationship and start being about finding the path to happiness and following it. for his own sanity, he has to change his mindstate and stop feeling like he's in too deep to cut his loses. He can't just show he's willing to walk away. he has to get in the mindstate where he's actually willing to walk away. And what i was trying to say is that the irony of my advice is that it would actually increase the odds of his relationship being savable. but he shouldn't even care about that at this point.

I think the thing with me is I WANT TO CHANGE and I want to see how the relationship goes with me being changed. The whole 4 years i was with her I was a complete azzhole. Just want to see how good it can be with me actually being a GOOD MAN.

If i'm good and she's still being a b*tch im willing to bounce and just get someone else. I been through breakups before brehs. I was with my babymom for NINE YEARS and broke it off.

 

[winb83]

great post.

i'll say this. it's not impossible to get your balls back but you have to truly change from within. you have to press the reset button on the whole game. it's almost like the person you were dies and you re-introduce yourself to her and it,s a completely new/fresh relationship. Time away often helps establish these new foundations as long as if she meets you again, you truly are a different person mentally. she will sense it.

I agree with you that you shouldn't hold on though. just let it go.

I think i didn't express myself properly. I think the way i said it makes it seem like a paradox. first, there are no guarantees of what will happen. What i'm saying as an external observer is that the option of him truly being ok with taking this L is actually the option that would increase his odds of saving the relationship. But you're right, if he thinks of it on those terms, it actually defeats the purpose since it becomes just a tactic.
that's it though. it can't be just a show. His focus has to stop being about saving the relationship and start being about finding the path to happiness and following it. for his own sanity, he has to change his mindstate and stop feeling like he's in too deep to cut his loses. He can't just show he's willing to walk away. he has to get in the mindstate where he's actually willing to walk away. And what i was trying to say is that the irony of my advice is that it would actually increase the odds of his relationship being savable. but he shouldn't even care about that at this point.

The best way to get her back is to walk away. If you were good to her and you stop caring and walk away she'll come back to you. When she knows deep down you don't care if it works out or not and she wants it to work you don't have to worry about getting your balls back because you have all the leverage and she has none. The problem with this approach is you can't fake it. You have to stop caring and when that happens well you don't care so its not important to you.

I've had women I gave my balls to come crying back to me and I held all the power because I didn't care and deep down they could sense it. They knew I treated them good and wanted that back.