Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[winb83]

great post.

i'll say this. it's not impossible to get your balls back but you have to truly change from within. you have to press the reset button on the whole game. it's almost like the person you were dies and you re-introduce yourself to her and it,s a completely new/fresh relationship. Time away often helps establish these new foundations as long as if she meets you again, you truly are a different person mentally. she will sense it.

I agree with you that you shouldn't hold on though. just let it go.

I think i didn't express myself properly. I think the way i said it makes it seem like a paradox. first, there are no guarantees of what will happen. What i'm saying as an external observer is that the option of him truly being ok with taking this L is actually the option that would increase his odds of saving the relationship. But you're right, if he thinks of it on those terms, it actually defeats the purpose since it becomes just a tactic.
that's it though. it can't be just a show. His focus has to stop being about saving the relationship and start being about finding the path to happiness and following it. for his own sanity, he has to change his mindstate and stop feeling like he's in too deep to cut his loses. He can't just show he's willing to walk away. he has to get in the mindstate where he's actually willing to walk away. And what i was trying to say is that the irony of my advice is that it would actually increase the odds of his relationship being savable. but he shouldn't even care about that at this point.

The best way to get her back is to walk away. If you were good to her and you stop caring and walk away she'll come back to you. When she knows deep down you don't care if it works out or not and she wants it to work you don't have to worry about getting your balls back because you have all the leverage and she has none. The problem with this approach is you can't fake it. You have to stop caring and when that happens well you don't care so its not important to you.

I've had women I gave my balls to come crying back to me and I held all the power because I didn't care and deep down they could sense it. They knew I treated them good and wanted that back.

 

[Turbulent]

but Reincar I think the issue is only because Nash was the poisonous one. She wasnt.

Anyways I needa let out a rant relative to another thing I've learned given the Nigerian girl. After we got off the phone I was telling her that in a world with 7 Billion people she will be hard pressed to find a man that is perfect for her and in sync with all her principles, values etc. My sentiment is that these things take work, patience and compromise from both parties . She was working but i guess she just ran out of gas.

Anyways...her reply to this was, "but why settle." Why settle for some body who isnt 100% perfect for you or at least damn near close. It's crazy the idea these women have about the game and how it works. Here you have a woman that basically hasnt had to work for anything in life and consequently I guess her dad's spoilage has transpired to ordinary life situations to the point where she doesnt wanna work to even build a relationship. These women will be the first to tell you, "I dont approach guys" yet still believe that they will run in to Mr. Perfect who has to do all the below:

A) Notice her,
B) Find her attractive enough
C) Catch a good vibe
D) The hardest part which is muster up the courage to talk to her even if A/B are good
E) Not say anything stupid to eff it up because he is nervous

Just to get the number and take it from there. And then with him being so great he must brush off the temptation all other women just for the sake of this lone female indefinitely. He must ignore the risk when she can easily just say, "You know what, I aint feeling this nikka anymore" and leave without a consequence.

I guess they think God will put off fixing world peace and finding a cure for diseases just to give em a man. The almight father will shine a light through the sky and everything . If only it were that simple; we'd all win.

I've had the same type of conversation with a female friend of mine. She actually saw i was right and felt a little depressed, lol. I said almost the exact same things you said and she kept asking me what she could do as a woman to find happiness and be in a good relationship. I told her being a woman, the best she could do is better herself and bring something to the table besides sex. I told her to be the best person she can be, and strive to better herself.

and finally i told her after that, that she has no choice in the matter. She will go to the guy she finds the most attractive that approaches her anyway. All she can do is hope and pray that this dude doesn't end up being abusive because once she chooses him and submits to him, he owns her. So she better hope he's righteous. then she started talking about how it's not fair and how we can be such a$$holes as men and i realized i was probably just wasting my time trying to teach game to someone who simply doesn't want to learn. She also told me she shouldn't have to settle and she deserves to be happy and all of this entitlement mentality. I just zoned out at some point.

 

[Turbulent]

The best way to get her back is to walk away. If you were good to her and you stop caring and walk away she'll come back to you. When she knows deep down you don't care if it works out or not and she wants it to work you don't have to worry about getting your balls back because you have all the leverage and she has none. The problem with this approach is you can't fake it. You have to stop caring and when that happens well you don't care so its not important to you.

I've had women I gave my balls to come crying back to me and I held all the power because I didn't care and deep down they could sense it. They knew I treated them good and wanted that back.

exactly. it can't be faked. I've actually faked it a few times but my bluff got called at some point and i lost A LOT. harsh lesson i had to learn and it was my fault because i wasn't being abusive to someone i cared about (aka acting like a bytch). it's not worth to bluff over. the most important thing is to get your mind right. You only get your balls back by truly not caring if she stays or leave.

 

[sixsixtwo]

"My girlfriend of three and a half years, recently accompanied some new friends/classmates to one of their houses in Mexico for a bonding experience. I couldn't go because I have exams coming up this week, but I didn't object to her going because our relationship has been one of trust and openness from the beginning. Somewhat of a perverse testament to this fact is that she admitted all of the following openly.

Last night the group went out dancing and drinking until the sun rose. When they returned to the house, one of the guys came on strong and she gave him a bj. She tells me she was very intoxicated and it was a mistake, but takes full responsibility. I believe that she didn't want to hurt me as she has, but I am still very troubled by her actions and failure to conduct herself in a manner that would prevent such an outcome."

More: My GF [27f] cheated on me [26m]; gave a guy a bj in Mexico. : relationships

 

[NerdNash]

Don't think im not gonna keep a stable in the stash tho lol smh

 

[NerdNash]

Real shyt, I never really was taught how to love a women. My pops bounced early and thats my n!gga but he never broke it down to me. All my uncles were players so that's all I know. I'm pretty much still learning and i'm 28.

 

[Ohene]

I've had the same type of conversation with a female friend of mine. She actually saw i was right and felt a little depressed, lol. I said almost the exact same things you said and she kept asking me what she could do as a woman to find happiness and be in a good relationship. I told her being a woman, the best she could do is better herself and bring something to the table besides sex. I told her to be the best person she can be, and strive to better herself.

and finally i told her after that, that she has no choice in the matter. She will go to the guy she finds the most attractive that approaches her anyway. All she can do is hope and pray that this dude doesn't end up being abusive because once she chooses him and submits to him, he owns her. So she better hope he's righteous. then she started talking about how it's not fair and how we can be such a$$holes as men and i realized i was probably just wasting my time trying to teach game to someone who simply doesn't want to learn. She also told me she shouldn't have to settle and she deserves to be happy and all of this entitlement mentality. I just zoned out at some point.

:aicmon; Theyre delusional. For the first time in my life I actually feel vindictive and spiteful towards women somewhat. I've always been honorable but fukk it I might be liable to cheat on a girl. I really dont care anymore. This was the last straw for me. The worst part is when they refuse to even read or hear your wisdom / logic. I guess its a defense mechanism for them. This shyt is deep. How can women think so differently and irrationally? It makes you wonder...whats the science behind all of this even from a evoltionary/biological standpoint.

 

[Zapp Brannigan]

My bad for not keeping updated better, I was out and about all weekend and I don't spend much time on the Coli because I don't really have a lot of time at the computer. That'll change this weekend though, because I am going in to finals for law school this semester soon, and I am going to be at my computer 24/7 in the library. Don't worry though, I'll still be making the push to talk to a new girl every day.

Update coming soon.

 

[Malta]

Real shyt, I never really was taught how to love a women. My pops bounced early and thats my n!gga but he never broke it down to me. All my uncles were players so that's all I know. I'm pretty much still learning and i'm 28.

Maybe having a girlfriend just isn't for you then, why force something like that? If I were in your position, I'd just have a different chick that fits a role that I need from her without actually being locked into any of them. You already have a child, no true need to be tied down then

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Reincar was on the money when he said Women hate rough patches.Thats truest thing ever!Hence reason why they are so bandwagon and cant make up their mind most times. My last gf I met when I was unemployed,coming off a lay off.Me having no job was a huge issue with her,although my ex never admitted it to my face. She was on some "its going to get better honey" cliche,etc.Apparently her sister was on some "You got a job yet" sarcastic ish.(My ex lived with her sister) Me sensing the hostility and vibe Im like no,if you know any help me out ,her sister tried to arrange for me to get a great position with her company,somehow it fell thru. Then my ex tried to help as well.Remind you I didnt ask my ex to help,it was sort of like the scene from "Soul Food" when Nia Long tried to pull strings for Lem (Mekhi Phifer) when he didnt want her to help cause he felt he can find a job on his own.It was same thing here (minus me not having a record).Long story short. A woman may tell you,she will stick thru tough times yaddda yadda but best believe she will complain to her homegirl and maybe sister bout you being unemployed.WOmen dont understand stuff happens,especially in these times we are living. Loyalty is a rare trait.Thats what made our grandparents and parents marriages successful..."For better or worst" meant good times and bad times.In 2012 going into 2013 its now "When it gets worst" bail.

 

[Ohene]

Reincar was on the money when he said Women hate rough patches.Thats truest thing ever!Hence reason why they are so bandwagon and cant make up their mind most times. My last gf I met when I was unemployed,coming off a lay off.Me having no job was a huge issue with her,although my ex never admitted it to my face. She was on some "its going to get better honey" cliche,etc.Apparently her sister was on some "You got a job yet" sarcastic ish.(My ex lived with her sister) Me sensing the hostility and vibe Im like no,if you know any help me out ,her sister tried to arrange for me to get a great position with her company,somehow it fell thru. Then my ex tried to help as well.Remind you I didnt ask my ex to help,it was sort of like the scene from "Soul Food" when Nia Long tried to pull strings for Lem (Mekhi Phifer) when he didnt want her to help cause he felt he can find a job on his own.It was same thing here (minus me not having a record).Long story short. A woman may tell you,she will stick thru tough times yaddda yadda but best believe she will complain to her homegirl and maybe sister bout you being unemployed.WOmen dont understand stuff happens,especially in these times we are living. Loyalty is a rare trait.Thats what made our grandparents and parents marriages successful..."For better or worst" meant good times and bad times.In 2012 going into 2013 its now "When it gets worst" bail.

The day me and my dad had a talk about women about a month ago...I was talking to my mom and she said although he isnt the most handsome (I'd say he's good, I get p*ssy with his features ) or charismatic, rich etc she stuck with my dad because she knew that at the very least he could educate his children. (My dad is a PhD Civil Engineer) I wonder how many girls have that same mentality.

Her only gripe with my dad is that while he's at home he's very very stern and quiet. The only time you really hear him laugh and seem like he's joyous is when he's with his friends talking politics and stuff.

 

[Malta]

Reincar was on the money when he said Women hate rough patches.Thats truest thing ever!Hence reason why they are so bandwagon and cant make up their mind most times. My last gf I met when I was unemployed,coming off a lay off.Me having no job was a huge issue with her,although my ex never admitted it to my face. She was on some "its going to get better honey" cliche,etc.Apparently her sister was on some "You got a job yet" sarcastic ish.(My ex lived with her sister) Me sensing the hostility and vibe Im like no,if you know any help me out ,her sister tried to arrange for me to get a great position with her company,somehow it fell thru. Then my ex tried to help as well.Remind you I didnt ask my ex to help,it was sort of like the scene from "Soul Food" when Nia Long tried to pull strings for Lem (Mekhi Phifer) when he didnt want her to help cause he felt he can find a job on his own.It was same thing here (minus me not having a record).Long story short. A woman may tell you,she will stick thru tough times yaddda yadda but best believe she will complain to her homegirl and maybe sister bout you being unemployed.WOmen dont understand stuff happens,especially in these times we are living. Loyalty is a rare trait.Thats what made our grandparents and parents marriages successful..."For better or worst" meant good times and bad times.In 2012 going into 2013 its now "When it gets worst" bail.

My situation was the exact opposite, she was unemployed when I met her, I thought she was cute, funny and just a nice girl so I gave her a chance. I helped her find a job, fast forward some time later and I lost my job while we were together. She started down talking me, was almost always annoyed, and kept pressuring me to find one, when I had never actually pressured her.

This is the same chick that couldn't support herself just a year earlier and was asking her mom for money. It's really hard not to be jaded by women sometimes, the experiences you have with the vast majority of them are just so bad.

 

[CASHAPP]

^God damn women have an issue with everything. Oh he talks too much like a bytch and needs to man up and handle me and stop arguing back to me when im instigating him...

Oh now he isn't arguing enough and is far too quiet with me!!!!







Women go make me a damn sandwich or learn to have a conversation about something else besides shopping, food for kids, or what your friend or your friend's kids said or did

 

[Rocket Scientist]

The day me and my dad had a talk about women about a month ago...I was talking to my mom and she said although he isnt the most handsome (I'd say he's good, I get p*ssy with his features ) or charismatic, rich etc she stuck with my dad because she knew that at the very least he could educate his children. (My dad is a PhD Civil Engineer) I wonder how many girls have that same mentality.

Her only gripe with my dad is that while he's at home he's very very stern and quiet. The only time you really hear him laugh and seem like he's joyous is when he's with his friends talking politics and stuff.

Iint trying to diss your mom dudes but 99% of women must think like that.Women seem to want Denzel,with Will Smith charisma and money it seems.The part about your mom staying with your pops because of education says alot. Apparently these days women dont think outside of stuff like that. Us men are guilty of that too. Most of us want big breasts,booty,nice face but how many of us look at a woman and say I wonder about her concious level of thinking.. But your pops sound like a real dude sort of like Jack Arnold from Wonder Years

 

[Kenny West]

that shyt is gold man. Im going to leave this very old saying right here. its a gem. this is so simple, but its very true. I read it in an old war book about strategy. I want you all to read it, understand it, and know that its so real it rings true today. check:





the strong take from the weak.
the smart take from the strong.


this goes beyond women and men, it goes to society, it goes for leaders, and yes, it even goes to mother nature. even the law of the jungle


we call the lion the king of the jungle. but whos king of the lion?

who can tame that big motherfukker with a whip and chair?

I seen a tribe of african warriors kill an elephant by gangin up on him, blinding him, cutting his heels, and throwing javelins till he died.

not near one of them is stronger than the elephant. they just used their heads. same thing today. people call mike tyson strong, one of the most powerful champs. now go ask him about don king. the smart know how to survive and use their skills to take and live off of. the smart know how to gain the advantage for them

same thing we need to be doing. One.

Curious, what book is this? Art of War?