Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[97Pac]

Is your passport valid?

I spend more time out the U.S then I spend in the U.S.

 

[The ADD]

I spend more time out the U.S then I spend in the U.S.

 

[Brandsdale]

anyone in here who’s 35+ and still single, did you give up on dating? If so, what made you give up?

 

[The ADD]

anyone in here who’s 35+ and still single, did you give up on dating? If so, what made you give up?

I was 43 before I met my wife in 2020. Never gave up, was just living life.

 

[Brandsdale]

I was 43 before I met my wife in 2020. Never gave up, was just living life.

How’d yall meet? If you ain’t mind me asking

 

[The ADD]

How’d yall meet? If you ain’t mind me asking

Hinge

This is my caution to the general thought process of if I don’t have someone by 35 (or X age) then I’m packing it up……..

Life is long, real long and who I was at 35 is not the same as was at 43. I had a good friend who got married later and he was kind of a model on how things could be could getting married later.

I will say that kids is a different issue and yes after 35 the clock is ticking. No way around it.

I am not, nor have I ever been a hopeless romantic so that’s not my perspective. I was fine being single but if I wouldn’t have said meeting someone even at 40 was impossible.

 

[Brandsdale]

Hinge

This is my caution to the general thought process of if I don’t have someone by 35 (or X age) then I’m packing it up……..

Life is long, real long and who I was at 35 is not the same as was at 43. I had a good friend who got married later and he was kind of a model on how things could be could getting married later.

I will say that kids is a different issue and yes after 35 the clock is ticking. No way around it.

I am not, nor have I ever been a hopeless romantic so that’s not my perspective. I was fine being single but if I wouldn’t have said meeting someone even at 40 was impossible.

I ask cause I had this exact same rule but considered it being a dumb idea as of late lol. Funny thing is, I never really cared THIS much about finding someone in my 20s, But I’ve started worrying that I’m taking too much time since I’ve passed 30 (I’m 34)

My uncle used to be my model of “what could be” but he got married 7 years ago at 33 (I ain’t even talking to a shorty currently lol).

 

[havoc]

anyone in here who’s 35+ and still single, did you give up on dating? If so, what made you give up?

The work life and fatherhood absorbed a lot of my time. I had met a pretty CNA nurse a few months ago and chemistry was great, but it was impossible to schedule a date because she work two jobs, and I work during weekday including the weekends. Despite all of that, I still want to date.I just need to make some adjustments in my personal life.

 

[The ADD]

I ask cause I had this exact same rule but considered it being a dumb idea as of late lol. Funny thing is, I never really cared THIS much about finding someone in my 20s, But I’ve started worrying that I’m taking too much time since I’ve passed 30 (I’m 34)

My uncle used to be my model of “what could be” but he got married 7 years ago at 33 (I ain’t even talking to a shorty currently lol).

And “could be” and “good/ideal” will likely change as you get older.

This particular couple doesn’t have kids, are doing well professional and travel quite a bit. He has he’s hobbies and she has hers and I never got the sense one had to really change how they were for the other.

 

[Apollo Creed]

And “could be” and “good/ideal” will likely change as you get older.

This particular couple doesn’t have kids, are doing well professional and travel quite a bit. He has he’s hobbies and she has hers and I never got the sense one had to really change how they were for the other.

This is the modern DINK partnership, i think the issue dudes face are more so the folks who want kids and the risk associated. With the DINK situation divorces and such are way more painless, due to folks tending to be more realistic and everyone brought things to the table financially so there isnt the element of feeling someone will “get over”.

 

[Malcolmxxx_23]

I was 43 before I met my wife in 2020. Never gave up, was just living life.

Congrats

 

[The ADD]

This is the modern DINK partnership, i think the issue dudes face are more so the folks who want kids and the risk associated. With the DINK situation divorces and such are way more painless, due to folks tending to be more realistic and everyone brought things to the table financially so there isnt the element of feeling someone will “get over”.

I had to google DINK. Yeah it’s definitely not a solve but another way to look at things.

I never really had the urge for kids so my mindset is different. I do worry that the desire for kids has started outweigh the value of a partner which leads to some tough situations down the road if things don’t work out.

 

[Apollo Creed]

I had to google DINK. Yeah it’s definitely not a solve but another way to look at things.

I never really had the urge for kids so my mindset is different. I do worry that the desire for kids has started outweigh the value of a partner which leads to some tough situations down the road if things don’t work out.

I would say because the USA is multicultural we tend to blur the lines on a lot of shyt which cause confusion because everyone comes to the table with experiences that are different thus create different expectation compared to "old world" societies where things are more on Tribal or Ethnic lines where you are raised into your role of the tribe or ethnic social contract.

What I`m saying is in these old world societies if you don't want to play by the social contract of that group you just simply date outside of it, in USA there is no agreed upon universal social contract thus we get a lot of confusion because everyone wants some unique thing thus people have the debate on "What am I willing to give up" as nobody will ever meet 100% of what you want.

So for example DINK is perfect for people who don't want to start a family hence the Partnership concept (because Partnership implies both people keep who they re and bring equal to the table), while Most Family Structures are ROLE based thus when ever someone uses Partnership and Family in the same sentence it is usually a red flag.

This is why you hav e some people who feel Marriage should be reserved for people creating families because it is role based (we assign titles of husband and wife which are roles) and anyone who isn't on that can do Civil unions. The fact people who want partnership still want "marriage" do it because they are still trying to fit in what they feel society deems as "acceptable", because in reality going to a court house does not mean you love someone.

 

[The ADD]

I would say because the USA is multicultural we tend to blur the lines on a lot of shyt which cause confusion because everyone comes to the table with experiences that are different thus create different expectation compared to "old world" societies where things are more on Tribal or Ethnic lines where you are raised into your role of the tribe or ethnic social contract.

What I`m saying is in these old world societies if you don't want to play by the social contract of that group you just simply date outside of it, in USA there is no agreed upon universal social contract thus we get a lot of confusion because everyone wants some unique thing thus people have the debate on "What am I willing to give up" as nobody will ever meet 100% of what you want.

So for example DINK is perfect for people who don't want to start a family hence the Partnership concept (because Partnership implies both people keep who they re and bring equal to the table), while Most Family Structures are ROLE based thus when ever someone uses Partnership and Family in the same sentence it is usually a red flag.

This is why you hav e some people who feel Marriage should be reserved for people creating families because it is role based (we assign titles of husband and wife which are roles) and anyone who isn't on that can do Civil unions. The fact people who want partnership still want "marriage" do it because they are still trying to fit in what they feel society deems as "acceptable", because in reality going to a court house does not mean you love someone.

Interesting

 

[Brandsdale]

This is the modern DINK partnership, i think the issue dudes face are more so the folks who want kids and the risk associated. With the DINK situation divorces and such are way more painless, due to folks tending to be more realistic and everyone brought things to the table financially so there isnt the element of feeling someone will “get over”.

Makes total sense but lotta black folks were raised on ideals of nuclear family. Anything that doesn’t fit that mold, is seen as “unnatural”, especially when family folks invest into your wedding n shyt like Africans. Hell, even Philippine people be doing it too