Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ahadi]

And they'll look at you dead in your eyes and say that don't like chaos

Should’ve know when she kept saying “I want us to go outside more, I don’t wana be couped up like we were in the winter”.

Side bar:

So my issue is and I guess it’s a good issue to have is I pull women (27-30+) they assume “oh he looks like he’s the “stable” guy (BW only) with other groups I have “edge”’lol.

Then after dealing with me it’s always “you’re not what I expected” / “I’ve never had to deal with a guy like this’ / “guys are usually obsessed with me” . I set boundaries, I speak my mind, correct them and expect better if you’re in my company.

Glad that situation is over. Gona enjoy being single for a long time. I just don’t trust women (27 and older) and unless I’m getting king68great energy (or a quarter of it) I don’t want em. Gona stick to younger.

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

You ruining these hoes for the rest of us lmao

Breh... I know you talk in jest, but sometimes it really be like that ....I am actually highly emotionally intelligent and I be using it to twist women in pretzels..... . I remember one of my exes from a few years ago, i was giving her the mixture of warm-cold energy to jist keep her stir crazy.... we had a little argument over the phone about it and she thought she was running things and said "well then maybe we should break up." She thought I was gonna stutter......


It had been a good 6-8 months we were messing around and the honeymoon fun stage was coming to an end and I knew I needed to get free (that avoidance concept). So I reply without even hesitating " Yeah, you're right. We should. " of course she got shook and didn't expect it ... Then I gave her a nice spiel on me "Not being emotionally available for you amd I shouldn't cause you this distress, etc, etc. " To the point of convincing her it was the right decision. So at the end of the convo she asks for me to come over so we can say "goodbye" (she wanted one last fukk) . I get over there and we start. Baby girl just breaks down into a puddle of tears, end up just consoling her. She was frazzled...

So she goes her way but is still messaging me between drunken fits of her spilling her guts about missing me, to hating me for hurting her.

She eventually chills out and we are on friendly terms....

So a few years later she gets married, her husband (fiance/boyfriend during the whole period) knows about me and don't like me even though he never met me.....

Since she's been married, she still messages me once a month on Signal late at night when her husband is sleeping to have "scintillating" conversation and then deletes the messages after we're done talking.......I should be completely forgotten.... if her husband were to see the convos........

waaay too much of a CityBoy/Ain'tshytNi**a, but I have been chilling on the sidelines back doing my University flex. So the hoes can heal for a bit...

Yea I had multiple discussion with my people on this, especially having grown up and seen real old school players in 90s and how they moved different from what online game is nowadays.. still remember unc having beeper and crossing street to hit the pay phone to do his emotional labor like he was on shift..

"Game" is definitely avoidant repackaged.. you can literally press them up against each other and see the parallels. It was a light bulb moment for me too breh, even spoke to a couple of from past and had some discussions. Having those unconscious responses come in clutch if that's what u want but it's crazy how that makes them want u more.. or they always come back also because of the "vibes"..

That's the paradox of it. One is emotionally intelligent, you know how to twist the scenario to be in your favor, so you ask yourself: "Why even change things? " ...... Really come down to challenging those entrenched beliefs and asking "do you want more?, do you want growth?"

 

[Ohene]

Breh... I know you talk in jest, but sometimes it really be like that ....I am actually highly emotionally intelligent and I be using it to twist women in pretzels..... . I remember one of my exes from a few years ago, i was giving her the mixture of warm-cold energy to jist keep her stir crazy.... we had a little argument over the phone about it and she thought she was running things and said "well then maybe we should break up." She thought I was gonna stutter......


It had been a good 6-8 months we were messing around and the honeymoon fun stage was coming to an end and I knew I needed to get free (that avoidance concept). So I reply without even hesitating " Yeah, you're right. We should. " of course she got shook and didn't expect it ... Then I gave her a nice spiel on me "Not being emotionally available for you amd I shouldn't cause you this distress, etc, etc. " To the point of convincing her it was the right decision. So at the end of the convo she asks for me to come over so we can say "goodbye" (she wanted one last fukk) . I get over there and we start. Baby girl just breaks down into a puddle of tears, end up just consoling her. She was frazzled...

So she goes her way but is still messaging me between drunken fits of her spilling her guts about missing me, to hating me for hurting her.

She eventually chills out and we are on friendly terms....

So a few years later she gets married, her husband (fiance/boyfriend during the whole period) knows about me and don't like me even though he never met me.....

Since she's been married, she still messages me once a month on Signal late at night when her husband is sleeping to have "scintillating" conversation and then deletes the messages after we're done talking.......I should be completely forgotten.... if her husband were to see the convos........

waaay too much of a CityBoy/Ain'tshytNi**a, but I have been chilling on the sidelines back doing my University flex. So the hoes can heal for a bit...





That's the paradox of it. One is emotionally intelligent, you know how to twist the scenario to be in your favor, so you ask yourself: "Why even change things? " ...... Really come down to challenging those entrenched beliefs and asking "do you want more?, do you want growth?"

whats crazy is i am watching this video while reading this lol

 

[MikelArteta]

Big headed below par women

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Miss a couple days and miss this exchange on attachment.. Definitely an important discussion for brehs and probably needs to be fleshed out. I am usually someone who sidesteps as mostly woowoo type stuff but when I actually looked into it a couple years back, it was paradigm shifting to me, could see how it affected multiple relationships. I actually think "game" is just packaged Avoidant behavior lol.. I know I have said multiple times that when I became exposed to "game" online, it felt like home and fit like a glove for me. Would also be confused why past behavior would have girls chasing even more when they say they want the opposite. Getting understanding on attachment theory answered why I felt that way. Brehs definitely dont underestimate this stuff, its atleast a pillar in helping you understand what you are dealing with or looking at yourself in mirror.

I know @Ohene talked about getting them to expose early than later but thats the thing, avoidants know how to do the beginning of dating stage REALLLLY well .. Like I said "game". They not even doing it consciously, it just happens that way. It reveals itself month down the line when vibes cant carry the relationship anymore and the other party wonders where this is going. Thats when its like hold on, I got commitment issues or some shyt comes up .. Then the chase begins and it triggers an outdated coping mechanism. Dont let it be an anxious type, they are drawn like moths to a flame.. Had to sit my ass down and build self back up brick by brick. Lets see how that plays out. Even if miss discussion good stuff and needed for other brehs. Its life changing because most of that stuff is subconscious and just coping behavior that while might have been adequate at younger age is outdated and outlived use in adulthood.

Dap+rep. Great addition to that discussion. This was my first legit experience with an avoidant type and it was eye opening to say the least. I learned a lot about myself in this situation. How I approach a woman that I’m invested in when she’s shutting down when there’s emotional investment. There’s plenty to improve on and I’m determined to come out better for it.

Even if you are a secure attachment (a person that has the most success in long term relationships) an avoidant can turn you into an anxious attachment type and as you said it’s like a moth to a flame. That push pull dynamic. The ambiguous energy. An anxious type chases that validation that the relationship is fine. After a certain point an avoidant feels like they’re loosing their independence/freedom and that’s when they start switching up and pulling away.

Reflecting back I had this unshakable feeling that the relationship was in jeopardy for the last month or so but she would do just enough to “soothe” that anxiousness. Until eventually it was too much to overcome. @Ohene asked me to drop some tips from the book “Attached” I’m reading but I’m trying to finish it (little over halfway through it) then I’ll revisit this discussion

 

[The Jewnited States]

whats crazy is i am watching this video while reading this lol

Video title is wild.......but makes a good amount of sense

 

[LiveFromLondon]

4.5 years and my "blessed" union has come to an end. Was about to shed a sliver of an invisible tear till I got this message. Mind you this is a white bytch.

I clearly didn't know who/what I was fukking with.

We've come full circle now

 

[MikelArteta]

Lowkey for all this talk about using apps

Why do we not have a thread with tips on profile pics? I think for what it's worth this is the weakness most guys have. Women take pics all the time. We dont have a library of photos to just pull from and even less that makes us look good lol

When I was on the app's My key was just like travel photos
Like I had one in front of the pyramids, one in front of Eiffel tower
Also had one that was blurry as hell

 

[skyrunner1]

She eventually chills out and we are on friendly terms....

So a few years later she gets married, her husband (fiance/boyfriend during the whole period) knows about me and don't like me even though he never met me.....

Since she's been married, she still messages me once a month on Signal late at night when her husband is sleeping to have "scintillating" conversation and then deletes the messages after we're done talking.......I should be completely forgotten.... if her husband were to see the convos........

waaay too much of a CityBoy/Ain'tshytNi**a, but I have been chilling on the sidelines back doing my University flex. So the hoes can heal for a bit...





That's the paradox of it. One is emotionally intelligent, you know how to twist the scenario to be in your favor, so you ask yourself: "Why even change things? " ...... Really come down to challenging those entrenched beliefs and asking "do you want more?, do you want growth?"

Dam breh, not even replying to my post, more to the one you sent @Ohene because the 2nd part I can relate to soo much.. Like they always come back even if they locked down.. Done been to a marriage where the OG was looking at me shook, ol boy was cool tho.. then another who hit me up on finsta and like you say, it dont make sense how far shyt escalate to.. Was gonna reply to other post I leave better than I found em and always end on good terms but the boomerang rate is crazy and I dont even know. Like dudes really out here with deep madonna-whore complexes.. He dont feel comfortable with her even doin simple shyt because how he view her and she want hittin me up about she still want it from before. Social media and easy connections make it too hard ..

Dap+rep. Great addition to that discussion. This was my first legit experience with an avoidant type and it was eye opening to say the least. I learned a lot about myself in this situation. How I approach a woman that I’m invested in when she’s shutting down when there’s emotional investment. There’s plenty to improve on and I’m determined to come out better for it.

Even if you are a secure attachment (a person that has the most success in long term relationships) an avoidant can turn you into an anxious attachment type and as you said it’s like a moth to a flame. That push pull dynamic. The ambiguous energy. An anxious type chases that validation that the relationship is fine. After a certain point an avoidant feels like they’re loosing their independence/freedom and that’s when they start switching up and pulling away.

Reflecting back I had this unshakable feeling that the relationship was in jeopardy for the last month or so but she would do just enough to “soothe” that anxiousness. Until eventually it was too much to overcome. @Ohene asked me to drop some tips from the book “Attached” I’m reading but I’m trying to finish it (little over halfway through it) then I’ll revisit this discussion

Have you seen the studies about how avoidants have increased in recent years? With online relationship info basically telling both sides to careless, focus on self, invest the least to protect self, etc. creating a cold war of such I would think it would increase chances for all to run into avoidants. Having read soo many of the womens stuff in recent years, they basically would take the mens info and repackage so now you have both promoting same strategy and then dating apps flooding with "options" has created a new type monster.. Then add whats mentioned before about secures basically settling down earlier and removing from pool (which I definietly seen thru years and agree with) you get a marketplace that is creating a loop.

Also dealing with an avoidant few years back, it made me sit back and laugh like hold on, definitely a mirror moment and one of catalyst to tighten up.

 

[cyndaquil]

Big headed below par women

Fat, no neck, mid face talking "I'll never go on a coffee date in my 30s" ridiculous. The first date is about getting to know someone not trying to feed or impress. Notice how she's also imploring all these other women to do the same thing. It's ridiculous. She is 30+ and single not by choice for a reason. I hope women aren't taking her advice lol

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

Dap+rep. Great addition to that discussion. This was my first legit experience with an avoidant type and it was eye opening to say the least. I learned a lot about myself in this situation. How I approach a woman that I’m invested in when she’s shutting down when there’s emotional investment. There’s plenty to improve on and I’m determined to come out better for it.

Even if you are a secure attachment (a person that has the most success in long term relationships) an avoidant can turn you into an anxious attachment type and as you said it’s like a moth to a flame. That push pull dynamic. The ambiguous energy. An anxious type chases that validation that the relationship is fine. After a certain point an avoidant feels like they’re loosing their independence/freedom and that’s when they start switching up and pulling away.

Reflecting back I had this unshakable feeling that the relationship was in jeopardy for the last month or so but she would do just enough to “soothe” that anxiousness. Until eventually it was too much to overcome. @Ohene asked me to drop some tips from the book “Attached” I’m reading but I’m trying to finish it (little over halfway through it) then I’ll revisit this discussion

If you gonna be out here talkin about me, man up and tag me my G....

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

Fat, no neck, mid face talking "I'll never go on a coffee date in my 30s" ridiculous. The first date is about getting to know someone not trying to feed or impress. Notice how she's also imploring all these other women to do the same thing. It's ridiculous. She is 30+ and single not by choice for a reason. I hope women aren't taking her advice lol

Had a fling with a top tier dude and now she thinks she belongs in the League, while in truth she should be playing in the Filipino 2nd division...

 

[The ADD]

Fat, no neck, mid face talking "I'll never go on a coffee date in my 30s" ridiculous. The first date is about getting to know someone not trying to feed or impress. Notice how she's also imploring all these other women to do the same thing. It's ridiculous. She is 30+ and single not by choice for a reason. I hope women aren't taking her advice lol

Also shows she doesn’t have a lot going on. A lot of reasonable women are fine with coffee because it’s efficient for their time as well.

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

If you gonna be out here talkin about me, man up and tag me my G....

Breh what the fukk you talking about?

 

[trap101-ETHout-Allegri-In]

Breh what the fukk you talking about?

Im joking. The way you described avoidents in that paragraph is a crisp description of how I dip in and out of relationships...