I think I was in something toxic. It was long distance once again. Met her while I was traveling early last year. It was amazing, when I tell you she was a breath of fresh air. Put in all the efforts, she bought a whole plane ticket and flew all the way from Europe to come see me. My job at the time was paying me very well so I was able to travel and go see her every two months or so. We would travel together, she met my family, I met hers.
Then 6 months in, started seeing her other side. It felt like she always wanted things to go her ways, she would criticize me for every single thing and even had anger issues that would lead to her saying some disrespectful stuff. But I liked her and she was working on it so I thought it’ll get better. She had some dad trauma from her childhood. Then came the complaints about the long distance and how it was too tough for her. She kept being distant at times until we always had the talk and then we would try. But then she just stopped putting in efforts while I kept pouring and pouring more into the relationship. My birthday came she didn’t do anything special for me at all. It hurt but I kept giving her excuses because I thought she could still be the girl I fell in love with at times.
She kept complaining and I just couldn’t no more. We had a talk, I was supposed to go see her to fix things, reconnect.. that’s when she said there was no fixing and we were headed for a breakup. I was hurt but I knew, I just knew I wasn’t in something right. I was being treated like shyt. People told me to break up long ago but I wouldn’t listen. So I didn’t argue, nothing I just told her I was done. She started crying “ you hate me i know you hate me”. I just hung up.
When I knew she does not really care is hours later , she sent me a “ thank you for loving me, thank you for showing me I deserved to be treated right, showing me how i wanna be treated, you were an amazing bf, Im sorry i couldn’t give you the love you deserve, at least right now”. I did not reply. Deleted her everywhere. Now I’m just trying to move on. It’s painful though.
That’s some of it. Not tryna write a full book
. I just don’t listen.
