Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Ohene]

What if she's not tho?
Back in the day we'd call these women hoes. Seems now it's different. There's brehs who date one woman at a time like @Lieutenant Daniels. If that's her she can leave and find a breh like him no?
Are we going to act like this "dating multiple people" shyt is causing these women to have more success dating? Seems the opposite.

she may or may not. she is within her rights to do so

one day i was at her crib and she showed me her hinge profile though. she had like 50+ likes or some shyt. so i have no doubt that if the right dude came along she woulda went out with him. Funny enough we talked about this in the past. This is me talking to her about the birthday gift

She just didnt wanna compete and thats fine. Its the reason why a pretty, successful woman like her is single and admittedly regretful at 34

Look at the last message. Thats somebody who is dating others or at least wants me to think she is. “She want it to be one way”

 

[The ADD]

i'll share one story. i got time today

in september it was my birthday. about a month before it she said she knows the perfect gift to get me. about a week before it she asked me what kinda cake i like (vanilla or chocolate) and implied she was making me a cake. around this time i was at her crib one day and also let her know i was gonna set up a reservation for this new restaurant in town thats been fully booked (a few wks in advance). remember all these pts lol.

so my birthday comes and she doesnt get me a gift (perfectly fine) and then at some point throws it out there that shes making some cupcakes but they turned out kinda bad...and asks me if i wanna come over and get some.

because of how she framed it, i take that as, she was just making some cupcakes randomly (that had nothing to do with my birthday) and she might throw em out but i can get some beforehand. she was too proud to just say, "hey i baked you some cupcakes for your birthday, when can i bring them?" i say sure, ima be chillin after work so she can bring some or i can come get em...to let me know when. later that night my brother visits and she doesnt follow up. around 9 or 10PM i ask her what happened. half hour later i hear a knock on the door and she brings some cupcakes but doesnt stay long cause my brother was over.

apparently i forgot to say thank you and she thought i was unappreciative (thats my bad, i fully thought i said thank you and wondered myself if i did when she left). unbeknownst to her, 4 girls either bought me or baked me cupcakes for my birthday that week lol (the jamaican girl above included). this isnt a humble brag or me being egotistical btw...she just wasnt doing anything to stand out.

a week later i asked her what that perfect gift idea was? she says she was gonna get me a watch the throne vinyl (thoughtful but i dont have a record player so its good that she didnt). i ask why she didnt go through with it. she tells me because she didnt think i did enough to warrant her spending 100-150 on a gift. i told her that i understand. however, the dinner i was gonna take her to at that restaurant prolly woulda ran me around $200, so whats the big deal? it aint like she broke either, shes a pharmacist. i tell her she shouldnt half ass it, and that if it was me in her shoes i woulda got her the gift if i thought it was the perfect gift for her regardless of the cost. she felt she had to be sensible. fair...no harm no foul.

so thats the kinda thing i mean when i say shes preserving her ego. she wants me to prove myself while i am busy messing with women who are equally proving themselves to me. she aint putting in effort to stand out so she hasnt given me a reason to focus on her.

She’s not terribly socially aware.

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

If I found out a chick was dating other men while dating me I’d immediately fall all the way back.

I personally think that’s part of the issue with modern dating because there’s so many avenues for lurkers and rosters. Everybody looking to do the least and get the most. Kinda explains why someone just ghost or starts acting cold suddenly when everything seemed to be going well.

Like old girl that went cold on me randomly after 2 weeks for no apparent reason on my end that I talked about several pages back.

 

[cyndaquil]

because i understand how men work, i would tell her that if she likes dude, he's a good catch and she really wants him, that she should give him a reason not to talk to other women. she hasnt done that, meanwhile the jamaican girl i have mentioned above has. so much that I am sending her flowers at work tomorrow as a surprise

fair enough. Ain't shyt wrong with how you moving yeah it's necessary. But sounds like she knows where she stands then. You just said you're leaning towards choosing the Jamaican girl. Unfortunately this is also how women end up side chicks. Dudes commit to another woman but wont give up the other chicks either. If she's continuing trying to get you to choose her and she could after you make it official with the girl. You're getting benefits from her with no commitment and it relies on your integrity to let her know you're in a relationship and to cut her off. A lot men aren't doing that.

Here's the other thing too, if you fukked with her like that for real then you'd have told her you would cut off that chick and you would've been giving your time to her instead of the other chicks. But you didn't and you won't cuz you ain't fukk with her like that which you admitted and deep down she knew. She either gonna move on or comeback heavy with pressure for commitment which you would then be forced to cut her off. Which to be honest is why most brehs dont bring up dating multiple people when they are cuz they not tryna get that ask for commitment that'll come up eventually too soon. Women hide it to assauge egos since they know how competitive we are. Just from her side I could see why she would leave.

But yeah please share the examples how she went from first place to last I'm curious lol

 

[Ohene]

fair enough. Ain't shyt wrong with how you moving yeah it's necessary. But sounds like she knows where she stands then. You just said you're leaning towards choosing the Jamaican girl. Unfortunately this is also how women end up side chicks. Dudes commit to another woman but wont give up the other chicks either. If she's continuing trying to get you to choose her and she could after you make it official with the girl. You're getting benefits from her with no commitment and it relies on your integrity to let her know you're in a relationship and to cut her off. A lot men aren't doing that.

Here's the other thing too, if you fukked with her like that for real then you'd have told her you would cut off that chick and you would've been giving your time to her instead of the other chicks. But you didn't and you won't cuz you ain't fukk with her like that which you admitted and deep down she knew. She either gonna move on or comeback heavy with pressure for commitment which you would then be forced to cut her off. Which to be honest is why most brehs dont bring up dating multiple people when they are cuz they not tryna get that ask for commitment that'll come up eventually too soon. Women hide it to assauge egos since they know how competitive we are. Just from her side I could see why she would leave.

But yeah please share the examples how she went from first place to last I'm curious lol

for sure. i shared one above

i dont hold it against her...she has a certain level of self-respect and wont compete. but if she put her best foot forward instead from the get go then i prolly woulda rolled with her.

funny enough, there was a post in here i posted back in early september i think when I said i was deleting a chick number cause i had gone out with her twice and she doesnt initiate any convos...then a few days passed and she hit me up. thats the jamaican chick. now imagine if during that time the chick in question was putting her best foot forward...i prolly woulda just peaced the jamaican chick and went with her instead. instead she half assed it and as a result i became less interested

 

[Ohene]

If I found out a chick was dating other men while dating me I’d immediately fall all the way back.

I personally think that’s part of the issue with modern dating because there’s so many avenues for lurkers and rosters. Everybody looking to do the least and get the most. Kinda explains why someone just ghost or starts acting cold suddenly when everything seemed to be going well.

Like old girl that went cold on me randomly after 2 weeks for no apparent reason on my end that I talked about several pages back.

i assume every chick I meet already has a dude she fukkin or dating. i only date attractive women so the likelihood she isnt is low but even if she isnt i am gonna assume she is. it might sound like some cuck shyt but the way i see it, i am better off assuming she is so my expectations are grounded and i dont get one-itis.

its just a part of the game. we have to adapt

 

[Ohene]

even if she only dates one dude at a time, it aint gonna stop other men from approaching her or her from getting the ick anyways.

there was a story i told here before about making a sexual innuendo when texting a chick. she was turned off and then stopped responding to me. a day or two later i saw her profile pop up on hinge outta nowhere. thats the beast were up against. act accordingly

it was around that time i hopped off the apps altogether

 

[The ADD]

If I found out a chick was dating other men while dating me I’d immediately fall all the way back.

I personally think that’s part of the issue with modern dating because there’s so many avenues for lurkers and rosters. Everybody looking to do the least and get the most. Kinda explains why someone just ghost or starts acting cold suddenly when everything seemed to be going well.

Like old girl that went cold on me randomly after 2 weeks for no apparent reason on my end that I talked about several pages back.

Define dating, seems tough to expect someone to drop all prospect without being in a relationship

 

[Ohene]

yea breh. if a woman ackrite i will put in effort.

another tidbit i left out. the same restaurant i was gonna take the 34 year old to...i ended up taking the jamaican girl to. she said the restaurant was 10/10

i cant make this shyt up

 

[The ADD]

yea breh. if a woman ackrite i will put in effort.

another tidbit i left out. the same restaurant i was gonna take the 34 year old to...i ended up taking the jamaican girl to. she said the restaurant was 10/10

i cant make this shyt up

Naw you been consistent about where you were dating. Can’t fault many (if any) of your moves.

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

Define dating, seems tough to expect someone to drop all prospect without being in a relationship

I’m not “expecting” anything unless her and I are exclusive. I’m stating what I won’t do or be apart of. I don’t get one itis UNLESS there’s been emotional investment on both sides mutually.

I actively pursue a chick (going on dates, spending one on one time, weekends, texting and communicating throughout the week) so that’s what I consider dating FOR ME. I can’t control anyone else nor am I trying to dictate what a chick does or wants.

 

[cyndaquil]

i'll share one story. i got time today

in september it was my birthday. about a month before it she said she knows the perfect gift to get me. about a week before it she asked me what kinda cake i like (vanilla or chocolate) and implied she was making me a cake. around this time i was at her crib one day and also let her know i was gonna set up a reservation for this new restaurant in town thats been fully booked (a few wks in advance). remember all these pts lol.

so my birthday comes and she doesnt get me a gift (perfectly fine) and then at some point throws it out there that shes making some cupcakes but they turned out kinda bad...and asks me if i wanna come over and get some.

because of how she framed it, i take that as, she was just making some cupcakes randomly (that had nothing to do with my birthday) and she might throw em out but i can get some beforehand. she was too proud to just say, "hey i baked you some cupcakes for your birthday, when can i bring them?" i say sure, ima be chillin after work so she can bring some or i can come get em...to let me know when. later that night my brother visits and she doesnt follow up. around 9 or 10PM i ask her what happened. half hour later i hear a knock on the door and she brings some cupcakes but doesnt stay long cause my brother was over.

apparently i forgot to say thank you and she thought i was unappreciative (thats my bad, i fully thought i said thank you and wondered myself if i did when she left). unbeknownst to her, 4 girls either bought me or baked me cupcakes for my birthday that week lol (the jamaican girl above included). this isnt a humble brag or me being egotistical btw...she just wasnt doing anything to stand out.

a week later i asked her what that perfect gift idea was? she says she was gonna get me a watch the throne vinyl (thoughtful but i dont have a record player so its good that she didnt). i ask why she didnt go through with it. she tells me because she didnt think i did enough to warrant her spending 100-150 on a gift. i told her that i understand. however, the dinner i was gonna take her to at that restaurant prolly woulda ran me around $200, so whats the big deal? it aint like she broke either, shes a pharmacist. i tell her she shouldnt half ass it, and that if it was me in her shoes i woulda got her the gift if i thought it was the perfect gift for her regardless of the cost. she felt she had to be sensible. fair...no harm no foul.

so thats the kinda thing i mean when i say shes preserving her ego. she wants me to prove myself while i am busy messing with women who are equally proving themselves to me. she aint putting in effort to stand out so she hasnt given me a reason to focus on her.

man she did this to herself. No happy birthday I made some cupcakes for you. Bringing up getting a gift and not getting it
Man she sound like a headache.

 

[Lieutenant Daniels]

i assume every chick I meet already has a dude she fukkin or dating. i only date attractive women so the likelihood she isnt is low but even if she isnt i am gonna assume she is. it might sound like some cuck shyt but the way i see it, i am better off assuming she is so my expectations are grounded and i dont get one-itis.

its just a part of the game. we have to adapt

even if she only dates one dude at a time, it aint gonna stop other men from approaching her or her from getting the ick anyways.

there was a story i told here before about making a sexual innuendo when texting a chick. she was turned off and then stopped responding to me. a day or two later i saw her profile pop up on hinge outta nowhere. thats the beast were up against. act accordingly

it was around that time i hopped off the apps altogether

I don’t think i argued otherwise. I merely stated how I move. She’s either with MY program or not. If she’s not cool she can move around. I don’t take it personal.

 

[Ohene]

I’m not “expecting” anything unless her and I are exclusive. I’m stating what I won’t do or be apart of. I don’t get one itis UNLESS there’s been emotional investment on both sides mutually.

I actively pursue a chick (going on dates, spending one on one time, weekends, texting and communicating throughout the week) so that’s what I consider dating FOR ME. I can’t control anyone else nor am I trying to dictate what a chick does or wants.

I'm gonna do me regardless. A woman can go out with other dudes if she wants, but i am confident enough in myself to know that shes not gonna find better than me. If she can, kudos, she was right to go out with them. That's why its something i dont worry about. As @cyndaquil reminded us and as you just alluded to, we must focus on our tasks.

 

[WIA20XX]

I’m not “expecting” anything unless her and I are exclusive. I’m stating what I won’t do or be apart of. I don’t get one itis UNLESS there’s been emotional investment on both sides mutually.

I actively pursue a chick (going on dates, spending one on one time, weekends, texting and communicating throughout the week) so that’s what I consider dating FOR ME. I can’t control anyone else nor am I trying to dictate what a chick does or wants.

If a chick doesn't reflect the same energy (and more), what's the point?

I can have a one sided conversation with myself.