Scenario 1: Went out with an really attractive older woman, 53, how I ended up with that happening was pretty smooth. Quick version is I walked into a spot in my area, and saw two women at the bar, they looked at me, I looked at them, and sat down. The first one said something, and a minute later we are all talking. I move closer, but the one that I really want, tattoos, expensive purse, bracelets is one seat down. She just gave me that sexual look. But, I wasn't sitting next to her, and could only really talk to her for a second or two. So I was tired, and it was late, and I just walked. Said goodnight. Saw them both out a week later, and we just clicked right away. Went out the next night, and were making out really crazy, she's sending me tennis skirt pictures, and then she just dropped off. Annoying that a woman who is almost 15 years older than me acts like the 23 year old.
Scenario 2: Another older woman, about 52, balling pretty hard. Does something with an investment bank. We had a couple of interactions, she gave me like the look back walk away, and I said the next time I see her, I'm asking her out. She's older, and I just went straight for it, like "We should have a drink sometime" and named a hotel. She gave me a pretty knowing look. But, when we texted she was like "well I have to figure out this situationship before anything, and I am very flattered". That a 50 something woman is using a made up word like situationship is just wild social media era shyt. Didn't that start from a Fabulous song?
Scenario 3: A woman I have probably seen 15 times in my neighborhood. She's black/half black, has a video girl body, walks a pitbull around, and just gave a really closed off/stern demeanor, walked fast, head up, interacting with no one, but one morning she rounded the same corner, and mouthed good morning, without saying anything. So, next time we just started talking, and now we are like into each other. She's my exact age, and from the same area. I just wonder what she would be open too. She def. gave me the career woman resume run down already, and is little self important, but mostly very cool.
@WIA20XX, the highly educated black, professional woman who is unmarried at 40 is much more in your city. What can I expect if I ask her out?
I been rewriting this response over and over.
I don't think there should be any real problems that you haven't encountered before.
A little picky/tedious to deal with on the front end, but can be quite great on the back end.
The fact that she has a pit bull, and might be mixed is probably more telling than what I can bring to you from dating Michelle Obama clones.
This is all for funsies!!!
The Too Long/Didn't read
- She's going to be educated, cultured and probably traveled.
- She's been to a lot of places, so unlike a 25 year old, you can't really impress her with the date - Instead of the date doing the work, you have to do the work.
- Despite her culture - there might be some Sexxy Red/Glorilla elements - cause some old chicks are "young at heart". White collar chicks like to boast that they can be at home at an Embassy Party but also cool at a dog fight or poker game. I personally don't find that attractive.
- There might be some subtle attempts to gauge your wealth and prospects, and they have to be 2.5X what she's doing. Like if she's pulling 250, your 500K is not enough, cause she knows cats at her job that make 500K. And those white guys are idiots.
- That 50/50 thing is a reality of life, but there are always hints of "soft life"
- I have known more than a few in their late 30's early 40's - that have "arrangements" - I said in another thread, these aren't even Grad Chapter AKAs.
- No matter how many times I run into "red pill" realities, it's always surprising.
- She should let you lead without comment for a bit, but probably won't. She'll comment and then try to steer the ship. Fine if that's wifey, not fine if she's not even a GF. (for me at least)
- 50/50 split on Churchified
- And the Churchified - 50/50 split on being born again virgins after a lifetime of whoredom
As per usual, chicks make it a point to "not be like all the other women", but track 90-95% of what all the other women think, say, want...behave.
_____________
Overall.
Prior to the Date - If it were me, I'd assume the chick had some level of physical attraction, and I pretty much know I'd bowl her over with conversation. The smash is just assumed. I'm not pressed - and she might feel some type of way about that, given that she spent so much time at the gym (or with the surgeon).
Negotiating the Date
A professional Black Woman in DC has been to practically all of the cool spots that Black Women go to.
Right now she's been to Dōgon by Kwame Onwuachi - several times. The first time was a special occasion, now she might just stop in there for a drink and keep it moving.
She's probably been to many of the cool spots that white people go to - provided it's not too many of them. Like Maydan, but not Eebecs.
Given that my go to date is always a restaurant, I find that most professional Black women are
opinionated.
My steez is to offer up 3 spots, but if she shoots them all down - she doesn't understand the dance, and I get why she's single.
I usually end the interaction and just never follow up.
DC has too many Pick Me's to deal with girls that are picky.
Because at the end of the day, the date isn't that important, the connection is.
Most of the time, I'm rapping to her, I'm thinking to myself - do I want to be waiting for this broad to come out of Target? Is this the type of woman I want change her oil, even though I told her to change it 5,000 miles ago?
Just being cute worked when I was 25...
The Date itself
Topics - Biography exchange, talking about past relationships, and "saving black people".
DC has a lot of self-proclaimed foodies - but a lot of them will either
1) Pick the safest thing on the menu. (ooh lemme ge the Pad Thai, my favorite)
2) Ask for the wine list.
3) Overly inspect the silverware and are otherwise germ/neat freaks
I almost always want to change venues for dessert - and chicks that throw up resistance to that, are just telling on themselves.
At the end - All the green lights would be there to smash, but my expectation would be that she's gonna be on some
1) LET'S GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW
or
2) Game playing
The Talking to Stage
I'd expect the Michelle Obama of our collective imagination to show up those first few dates. Elegant, Classy, Intelligent, Witty, Positive.. Claire Huxtable actualized.
But then I'd expect the current version of Michelle that's always got something to say about Barack to show up.
It's weird how many of these women I've met that seem fine, and then turn into Real Housewives of Atlanta caricatures.
Compared to Younger Sisters
I used to think that older women would be a bit more sane and realistic - but a lot of that delusion is kept at bay because they're disappointed.
ADOS/Carib/African
All variations on a theme. They're all taking in the same culture and trying to emulate that.
I find Black Women in general to be at a higher volume than the mainstream, but African women tend to make Black American fall back in terms of decibels. For me, volume is not about class or taste, it's about her conversation giving me a headache.
WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?
And they aren't shouting, it's cultural.
(Latinas, Asians, Arabs, Indians - when they're around family and friends those conversations sounds like arguments)
Versus Everyone else
Speaking in generalities of course,
- White Women in this Bracket - it's all about smashing.
- Asian and Arab women - See white women, but on the low. Which is kinda par for the course outside of college. The more professional class they are, the more white leaning/adjacent they can be - until something ethnic comes up. Then the accent kicks in.
- Indian women - Still a Disney Princeess, but have given up on bending over for Beckham.
- Latinas - believe it or not, unlike every other place i've lived, I don't really see them that often. So no data.
Overall - like I said above, I don't think there's gonna much problems when we're speaking on group tendencies.
But a mixed chick presents certain issues in that
1) Your cultural/personality expectations can be off
2) She preys on your expecting X, and will use that to present Y, and get leverage. (and why does she want leverage?, you're trying to cooperate not compete - but that's women for you)
Women like to claim X,Y,and Z when convenient - but I've often found that SOME Mixed Chicks want to relate one way or another, and then switch up.
Moreover, a lot of them have been included in whiteness/excluded from Blackness - and that just builds up a whole bunch of auto-plays when those things come up. i.e. she can get triggered, and then you gotta deal with the emotional fallout.
The Dog
1) small dog = child replacement
2) big dog = man replacement
but
3) pit bull = gun replacement. (loaded gun with a hair trigger)
WIA
