Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Turbulent]

lots of posts and threads on "how do i get my girl back?" and we've all been through it. heartbreak, attachement and getting used to being single again. I don't have the definite answer on how to get your girl back but here's what i'll say.

if a guy breaks up with his girl or the girl breaks up with him, you will go through many feelings but you gotta root yourself in logic. your actions should be fair meaning this: she's not your girl anymore, stop acting as if y'all are still together or expecting from her. it's normal to feel but manage the feelings. She shouldn't get the same level of affection as she did when she was your girl, shouldn't get the same level of care. She shouldn't get the same level of attention or time or energy. It's hard but you need to adjust your behavior to the current situations and keep them aligned with your principles. When you had your girl you treated her like a queen because she served her king. She is not your queen anymore so from now on she shouldn't get queen privileges she used to get. You don't owe her anything and vice-versa. why would she even miss you if you still give her the same energy as when y'all were together? but it's not even about that, don't use it as a tactic. use it instead to preserve your dignity. if she tries to guilt trip you, don't fall for the okey-doke. once she sees it doesn't work and that YOU choose how you give energy, attention and affection and can't be manipulated into giving it, she will either move on or get back to you. either way, you need to let her choose (while at the same time trying to genuinely move on). but too many times we break up but try to keep things as they were to avoid awkwardness and tension. Or maybe we're trying to play the game to hopefully get her back. Too many times we play ourselves...

EDIT: and i'm not talking about treating your ex like shyt either. I'm saying be fair. treat her like a girl who used to be your woman and is not anymore. depending on how and why y'all broke up, treat her accordingly. What ever you used to give or do for her you did it because of the love she gave you. once she stops giving you that love you should also stop giving her love. don't try to give her love and then act like she owes you now. that shyt isn't good for the soul.

 

[MikelArteta]

lots of posts and threads on "how do i get my girl back?" and we've all been through it. heartbreak, attachement and getting used to being single again. I don't have the definite answer on how to get your girl back but here's what i'll say.

if a guy breaks up with his girl or the girl breaks up with him, you will go through many feelings but you gotta root yourself in logic. your actions should be fair meaning this: she's not your girl anymore, stop acting as if y'all are still together or expecting from her. it's normal to feel but manage the feelings. She shouldn't get the same level of affection as she did when she was your girl, shouldn't get the same level of care. She shouldn't get the same level of attention or time or energy. It's hard but you need to adjust your behavior to the current situations and keep them aligned with your principles. When you had your girl you treated her like a queen because she served her king. She is not your queen anymore so from now on she shouldn't get queen privileges she used to get. You don't owe her anything and vice-versa. why would she even miss you if you still give her the same energy as when y'all were together? but it's not even about that, don't use it as a tactic. use it instead to preserve your dignity. if she tries to guilt trip you, don't fall for the okey-doke. once she sees it doesn't work and that YOU choose how you give energy, attention and affection and can't be manipulated into giving it, she will either move on or get back to you. either way, you need to let her choose (while at the same time trying to genuinely move on). but too many times we break up but try to keep things as they were to avoid awkwardness and tension. Or maybe we're trying to play the game to hopefully get her back. Too many times we play ourselves...

EDIT: and i'm not talking about treating your ex like shyt either. I'm saying be fair. treat her like a girl who used to be your woman and is not anymore. depending on how and why y'all broke up, treat her accordingly. What ever you used to give or do for her you did it because of the love she gave you. once she stops giving you that love you should also stop giving her love. don't try to give her love and then act like she owes you now. that shyt isn't good for the soul.

i'd say the easiest thing to do is just cut her off, nothing worse than knowing your ex is with someone new, seeing them with someone new etc. its better to just cease all communication, cut them out of your life dont accept that friends bs, if a job lets you go or if you quit your not going back, your not going to volunteer your hours to help them out, the relationship you had is done.

take it from a guy who wasted like 3 years of his life accepting a bs friendship from a girl

 

[Turbulent]

i'd say the easiest thing to do is just cut her off, nothing worse than knowing your ex is with someone new, seeing them with someone new etc. its better to just cease all communication, cut them out of your life dont accept that friends bs, if a job lets you go or if you quit your not going back, your not going to volunteer your hours to help them out, the relationship you had is done.

take it from a guy who wasted like 3 years of his life accepting a bs friendship from a girl

great analogy


EDIT: as far as completely cutting her off, ideally it's for he best but sometimes you still have to run into them (kids, same social circle,etc). in those circumstances sometimes you remain cordial.

 

[The Frozen One]

lots of posts and threads on "how do i get my girl back?" and we've all been through it. heartbreak, attachement and getting used to being single again. I don't have the definite answer on how to get your girl back but here's what i'll say.

if a guy breaks up with his girl or the girl breaks up with him, you will go through many feelings but you gotta root yourself in logic. your actions should be fair meaning this: she's not your girl anymore, stop acting as if y'all are still together or expecting from her. it's normal to feel but manage the feelings. She shouldn't get the same level of affection as she did when she was your girl, shouldn't get the same level of care. She shouldn't get the same level of attention or time or energy. It's hard but you need to adjust your behavior to the current situations and keep them aligned with your principles. When you had your girl you treated her like a queen because she served her king. She is not your queen anymore so from now on she shouldn't get queen privileges she used to get. You don't owe her anything and vice-versa. why would she even miss you if you still give her the same energy as when y'all were together? but it's not even about that, don't use it as a tactic. use it instead to preserve your dignity. if she tries to guilt trip you, don't fall for the okey-doke. once she sees it doesn't work and that YOU choose how you give energy, attention and affection and can't be manipulated into giving it, she will either move on or get back to you. either way, you need to let her choose (while at the same time trying to genuinely move on). but too many times we break up but try to keep things as they were to avoid awkwardness and tension. Or maybe we're trying to play the game to hopefully get her back. Too many times we play ourselves...

EDIT: and i'm not talking about treating your ex like shyt either. I'm saying be fair. treat her like a girl who used to be your woman and is not anymore. depending on how and why y'all broke up, treat her accordingly. What ever you used to give or do for her you did it because of the love she gave you. once she stops giving you that love you should also stop giving her love. don't try to give her love and then act like she owes you now. that shyt isn't good for the soul.

fukk i wish i read this before i went all simp.. great advice... so true .. but sometimes our emotions and hot headedness fukks with our mind and stops us from doing rational things.

cutting contact as @His_Excellence_Reincar said is the best way to go. You don't need to know what she's upto. You shouldn't care what she's upto. It's over.

 

[smARTmouf]

A book can be made from a lot of the post in this thread...

Thanks for sharing gentlemen

 

[Turbulent]

fukk i wish i read this before i went all simp.. great advice... so true .. but sometimes our emotions and hot headedness fukks with our mind and stops us from doing rational things.

cutting contact as @His_Excellence_Reincar said is the best way to go. You don't need to know what she's upto. You shouldn't care what she's upto. It's over.

i read your posts breh. from my perspective, the fact she asked you if you still wanted to see the kid tells me one thing: she's a manipulator. see it has nothing to do with the kid. the kid is a tool. At first you didn't want to see him so she wanted you to see him, then you wanted to and she doesn't want you to. now that you said fukk it she wants you to meet him again. She's basically trying to make you do something you don't want to do to gain power over you (by dangling the carrot). when you wanted to see the kid, she saw an opportunity to manipulate you with that cause it's something you wanted and that she had complete control over. she played with it. but now she's realizing she went too far and might lose you so she's finally letting you eat the carrot.

as i always say, she might not be doing all of this consciously but it's still a red flag IMO and a sign you should stay away from that person and get a better girl. she'll suck you dry and throw you away if you let her cause she's hungry for power. and i don't even mean the following so don't take it the wrong way. but i think you said something like if she didn't have the kid it would have worked out. but the truth is, if she didn't have the kid she probably would have had more options and wouldn't have chosen you. even now she's choosing out of her league cause you obviously don't want her. if she didn't have a kid she would think she could do even better. chick is trying to play you breh.

 

[sixsixtwo]

"Found you guys the other day (when ranked #2 worst sub), and I gotta say that swallowing the rp has been rough. While I've always known I was more of a "beta" guy, every lost opportunity from my college days is coming back to slap me in the face as I'm burying myself in this new knowledge.

Aside from that, it's really opened my eyes to my current relationship -- I think I've become the beta provider to a girl that thinks she's hit the wall. We've been dating 7 months, and things are beginning to align themselves in a fashion that I will be supporting her when she goes back to grad school in 2014 (for reference, we're both 25). She hadn't gotten laid in almost a year before we met (and she is attractive -- cute face, very nice t*ts and a big ass). Maybe she's just picky/prude? Oh no, she's enjoyed her time on the carousel (not nearly all of them, just the interesting ones):

• Had a foursome (her + 3 guys) in high school
• Was FWB with a guy who had a girlfriend -- when he wouldn't dump her, she fukked both of his roommates for revenge
• Cheated on one of her boyfriends during a "mini study abroad" -- hooked up with another kid on the trip that fukked her in the ass in a bathroom
• Spent a long weekend being a base bunny -- each night with a different branch of the service

After reading TRP for the past 2 days, I've been slowly putting some pieces together: every guy she's "hooked up" with has been an alpha -- and (almost) every guy she's "dated" has been a beta. I guess what I'm asking here is, what does this mean for me? Is she setting me up to be her beta bytch (emotional & financial support) while she goes back to school and studies more alpha cock?"

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/...ill_is_hitting_real_hard_right_now/?limit=500

 

[twan83]

it's good hearing about heartbroken on here, cause obviously i'm not the only one .. but i get worried when people say it took a while to get over it.

I don't want to have this feeling.. I just want to move on and find another girl. I think i'm at a point in my life where i'm looking for something stable and for the future.

She was something stable. That's why i can't stop thinking about the situation. Like she did so much for me. It's hard finding someone on your level where you can connect like that. If she didn't have the baggage, she would definitely the one i would have liked to spend the rest of my life with.

trust i know how u feel more than u know. my first love fukked me up so bad i wasn't the same again and it took me at least a year too even start dating serious again even then she was still in the back of my mind. sometimes when u have a certain connection with a female and u know she can be wifey and it doesn't work out and u fell deep in love it hurts way more than u expected.

best thing u can do is keep ur mind preoccupied as best as possible and focus on being a better u and doing things u enjoy the most and keep moving forward and not dwell on the past as much as possible

time does heal wounds but some wounds become scars

 

[The Frozen One]

trust i know how u feel more than u know. my first love fukked me up so bad i wasn't the same again and it took me at least a year too even start dating serious again even then she was still in the back of my mind. sometimes when u have a certain connection with a female and u know she can be wifey and it doesn't work out and u fell deep in love it hurts way more than u expected.

best thing u can do is keep ur mind preoccupied as best as possible and focus on being a better u and doing things u enjoy the most and keep moving forward and not dwell on the past as much as possible

time does heal wounds but some wounds become scars

Here's the problem. For the 2 years we were together, I treated her like shyt. I broke up with her 3 different times, each time she begged and pleaded me to take her back. I did. She did everything for me. She stopped talking about her kids with me cause I would tell her I don't wanna talk about them. In the back of my mind I knew this wouldn't work out. I honestly thought that she would leave me eventually cause how I treated her. And she knew this. But she kept saying, I know you will change your mind. I didn't see her kids for 2 years. She would tell me that she'll leave me if I didn't and I would tell her go cause I'm not changing my mind. She stayed. We fell MADLY in love.

I fukked up bad. I told her I don't wanna be friends with her. But now I'm having second thoughts. I would always tell her her happiness is what matters and if that means she's with another guy. It's totally fine. Cause I really do want her to be happy. She begged and pleaded with me not to take her out of my social media. She said that's too harsh cause just because the relationship didn't work out doesn't mean that we can't have a friendly relationship because of our history.

I just didn't think I would miss her this much. She was hesitant for me to meet her kids after the breakup cause she thought I would run away. I was basically fighting with myself every time I said that. She said she will first let me meet the kids then we will go from there. I basically was pushing her away. Cause I was being such a simp. I can't go back now. It's too late. The whole relationship I lied to her many times about girls, my past and things like that, which she found out but still stayed with me. Frankly, she should have left me long time ago, but this girl was loyal to the max.

I get really pissed when she told me she got close to a guy at work. I became jealous and told her oh to be with him them then since you really want to. And we argue about it again. I also got mad at her cause she text me happy birthday but didn't come to see me. Then I lied to her again cause I hit the clubs during the break up but I thought that if she knew she would say no to us being together. She specifically asked me if I went to clubs. I told her know cause I was busy with exams and missing her. Then basically in our last argument I told her I went to the clubs. I don't know. I think that pretty broke it. She then continued to ask me questions, oh did you grind on bytches, did you have fun. Who did you got with and why lie? So everything is really my fault. I can't show my face to her. I wanna text her and call her so bad right now and tell her I'm sorry but I think damage has been down.

What's funny after all that she still told me she would still like it if I meet her kids.

 

[twan83]

Here's the problem. For the 2 years we were together, I treated her like shyt. I broke up with her 3 different times, each time she begged and pleaded me to take her back. I did. She did everything for me. She stopped talking about her kids with me cause I would tell her I don't wanna talk about them. In the back of my mind I knew this wouldn't work out. I honestly thought that she would leave me eventually cause how I treated her. And she knew this. But she kept saying, I know you will change your mind. I didn't see her kids for 2 years. She would tell me that she'll leave me if I didn't and I would tell her go cause I'm not changing my mind. She stayed. We fell MADLY in love.

I fukked up bad. I told her I don't wanna be friends with her. But now I'm having second thoughts. I would always tell her her happiness is what matters and if that means she's with another guy. It's totally fine. Cause I really do want her to be happy. She begged and pleaded with me not to take her out of my social media. She said that's too harsh cause just because the relationship didn't work out doesn't mean that we can't have a friendly relationship because of our history.

I just didn't think I would miss her this much. She was hesitant for me to meet her kids after the breakup cause she thought I would run away. I was basically fighting with myself every time I said that. She said she will first let me meet the kids then we will go from there. I basically was pushing her away. Cause I was being such a simp. I can't go back now. It's too late. The whole relationship I lied to her many times about girls, my past and things like that, which she found out but still stayed with me. Frankly, she should have left me long time ago, but this girl was loyal to the max.

I get really pissed when she told me she got close to a guy at work. I became jealous and told her oh to be with him them then since you really want to. And we argue ab

look at what i bolded if she had custody of her kids for 2 years and u never saw them hell even if she didnt and they saw her on her visitation days and u didnt see them is DEAD WRONG OF HER.

granted u said u didnt want too see them which is i dont agree with but what kind of mother does that shyt with a guy she been in a relationship with for 2 years for christ sake.

i got it u treated her like shyt and ya she should of left ur ass and u know it and agree with it.
me I'm never friends with a ex cuz they are a ex for a reason in my eyes and can cause problems later down the line if u get with somebody else and how would they feel bout u being friends with an ex thats where the insecurities kick in

but back on topic how were u being a simp in the relationship?

 

[The Frozen One]

look at what i bolded if she had custody of her kids for 2 years and u never saw them hell even if she didnt and they saw her on her visitation days and u didnt see them is DEAD WRONG OF HER.

granted u said u didnt want too see them which is i dont agree with but what kind of mother does that shyt with a guy she been in a relationship with for 2 years for christ sake.

i got it u treated her like shyt and ya she should of left ur ass and u know it and agree with it.
me I'm never friends with a ex cuz they are a ex for a reason in my eyes and can cause problems later down the line if u get with somebody else and how would they feel bout u being friends with an ex thats where the insecurities kick in

but back on topic how were u being a simp in the relationship?

I became the simp after the relationship ship ended. I begged and pleaded for her to take me back. She said she'll have to think about it. Then I would harass her if she made up her mind. She said I'm not giving her time. I would tell her lets meet together so we can talk face to face. She would refuse saying she's not comfortable. So then I would fight to her about the guy at work cause she told me she's getting friendlier with him. But only friendly relationship. And she's still thinking about us cause she doesn't want me to meet her kids and I run away. What she kept saying was it doesn't make sense why all of a sudden I want to meet her kids when the last 2 years I didn't care for them at all. She's like you never asked about them. I wanted to talk to yu so much about them but I couldn't cause she would get weirded out. She said I felt like I was embarrassed by her that's why I didn't get her to meet my friends or introduce to my family. Which is true. So she's like can you do that now. And I would say um.

My bigget issue was her needed time. Especially with the fact that she and her guy friend at work are become more friendly. She would tell me he's givng her rides and shyt. I was like already she's getting rides. I was just basically mad. Then she would ask me if I get back with you, this problem with the guy at work won't go away. How can you deal with it cuse I'm not gonna not be friends with him.

It just made me rage and more simp like. Cause she didn't want me back and she wanted to think about being back together with me.

What are the chances if I call her and talk to her? I hurt her bad but at the same she hurt me as well cause of the other guy being in the picture. It's just so mind boggling that during the 2 years I couldn't give a fukk if she left and that now all of a sudden she's gone, I can't control myself.

Also about the custody. It's 50/50. She has them half the week while she's by herself during the weekends. So all our plans would be Thursday-Saturday. The rest of the week we would talk all day.

 

[BreezyH]

"Found you guys the other day (when ranked #2 worst sub), and I gotta say that swallowing the rp has been rough. While I've always known I was more of a "beta" guy, every lost opportunity from my college days is coming back to slap me in the face as I'm burying myself in this new knowledge.

Aside from that, it's really opened my eyes to my current relationship -- I think I've become the beta provider to a girl that thinks she's hit the wall. We've been dating 7 months, and things are beginning to align themselves in a fashion that I will be supporting her when she goes back to grad school in 2014 (for reference, we're both 25). She hadn't gotten laid in almost a year before we met (and she is attractive -- cute face, very nice t*ts and a big ass). Maybe she's just picky/prude? Oh no, she's enjoyed her time on the carousel (not nearly all of them, just the interesting ones):

• Had a foursome (her + 3 guys) in high school
• Was FWB with a guy who had a girlfriend -- when he wouldn't dump her, she fukked both of his roommates for revenge
• Cheated on one of her boyfriends during a "mini study abroad" -- hooked up with another kid on the trip that fukked her in the ass in a bathroom
• Spent a long weekend being a base bunny -- each night with a different branch of the service

After reading TRP for the past 2 days, I've been slowly putting some pieces together: every guy she's "hooked up" with has been an alpha -- and (almost) every guy she's "dated" has been a beta. I guess what I'm asking here is, what does this mean for me? Is she setting me up to be her beta bytch (emotional & financial support) while she goes back to school and studies more alpha cock?"

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/...ill_is_hitting_real_hard_right_now/?limit=500

 

[twan83]

I became the simp after the relationship ship ended. I begged and pleaded for her to take me back. She said she'll have to think about it. Then I would harass her if she made up her mind. She said I'm not giving her time. I would tell her lets meet together so we can talk face to face. She would refuse saying she's not comfortable. So then I would fight to her about the guy at work cause she told me she's getting friendlier with him. But only friendly relationship. And she's still thinking about us cause she doesn't want me to meet her kids and I run away. What she kept saying was it doesn't make sense why all of a sudden I want to meet her kids when the last 2 years I didn't care for them at all. She's like you never asked about them. I wanted to talk to yu so much about them but I couldn't cause she would get weirded out. She said I felt like I was embarrassed by her that's why I didn't get her to meet my friends or introduce to my family. Which is true. So she's like can you do that now. And I would say um.

My bigget issue was her needed time. Especially with the fact that she and her guy friend at work are become more friendly. She would tell me he's givng her rides and shyt. I was like already she's getting rides. I was just basically mad. Then she would ask me if I get back with you, this problem with the guy at work won't go away. How can you deal with it cuse I'm not gonna not be friends with him.

It just made me rage and more simp like. Cause she didn't want me back and she wanted to think about being back together with me.

What are the chances if I call her and talk to her? I hurt her bad but at the same she hurt me as well cause of the other guy being in the picture. It's just so mind boggling that during the 2 years I couldn't give a fukk if she left and that now all of a sudden she's gone, I can't control myself.

Also about the custody. It's 50/50. She has them half the week while she's by herself during the weekends. So all our plans would be Thursday-Saturday. The rest of the week we would talk all day.

man u dead wrong for acting like this afterwards when u treated her like shyt. u dont even have a right too be hurt or mad cuz of a guy at work that seems like he wants too holler. ur not together no more so she has every right too do what she pleases but now if she stringing u along giving u false hope she is wrong in that regard period.

truth be told how can u know for sure ur gonna change ur ways for her when or if u get back with her cuz if u aint let her go and move on with your life so she can be happy

but even though i dont recommend it unless u know for sure
if u know ur gonna do right by her then u need too respect her wishes and do this
tell her ur sorry and u will let her be and do as she pleases and remain friends with her
dont go bothering her and blowing up her phone either
dont keep asking her bout us let it flow
show her u have changed without being a damn simp for starters
if she ends up with the other guy u deal with the hurt and move on

 

[JT-Money]

"Found you guys the other day (when ranked #2 worst sub), and I gotta say that swallowing the rp has been rough. While I've always known I was more of a "beta" guy, every lost opportunity from my college days is coming back to slap me in the face as I'm burying myself in this new knowledge.

Aside from that, it's really opened my eyes to my current relationship -- I think I've become the beta provider to a girl that thinks she's hit the wall. We've been dating 7 months, and things are beginning to align themselves in a fashion that I will be supporting her when she goes back to grad school in 2014 (for reference, we're both 25). She hadn't gotten laid in almost a year before we met (and she is attractive -- cute face, very nice t*ts and a big ass). Maybe she's just picky/prude? Oh no, she's enjoyed her time on the carousel (not nearly all of them, just the interesting ones):

• Had a foursome (her + 3 guys) in high school
• Was FWB with a guy who had a girlfriend -- when he wouldn't dump her, she fukked both of his roommates for revenge
• Cheated on one of her boyfriends during a "mini study abroad" -- hooked up with another kid on the trip that fukked her in the ass in a bathroom
• Spent a long weekend being a base bunny -- each night with a different branch of the service

After reading TRP for the past 2 days, I've been slowly putting some pieces together: every guy she's "hooked up" with has been an alpha -- and (almost) every guy she's "dated" has been a beta. I guess what I'm asking here is, what does this mean for me? Is she setting me up to be her beta bytch (emotional & financial support) while she goes back to school and studies more alpha cock?"

http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/...ill_is_hitting_real_hard_right_now/?limit=500

Please tell me you hit it already. Because if not what in the hell are you waiting for?

 

[MikelArteta]

i agree with @twan83 if you are messing wiht a single mom for especially two years, and even though you never wanted to meet the kids, a credible decent single mother would realize that any man has to accept her kids and her, and since you didn't and it went on two years you should take solace in at least that. That's shes no good sorry to say and stop blaming yourslef and your actions