Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[OSUBaneBrowns]

You can never piece it all together until you look at it backwards.
Then you get mad at urself and feel like a fool b/c more than likely the woman LIED to you right in your face and you believed it. Even tho you had no reason NOT to disbelieve her, you're still mad at yourself.

Now you KNOW she was wrong for u, a waste of ur time/feelings, and ur glad you got away from her....but some small part of you still likes her.

The sad truth.

 

[Turbulent]

If you're in a relationship with a girl and you're happy, NEVER think of it as "She makes me happy" or "I'm happy because i'm with her".

You should think of it like "I'm happy because she's doing what needs to be done for me to be happy." the fact that she happens to be the one to do what makes you happy should be circumstantial. Fall in love with how you feel inside instead of falling in love with the other person.

 

[mamba]

With your friends, you treat them well and they will appreciate it. Let's take even a dog for instance. You treat a dog well and the dog will be friendly and even give up its life for you. That's something that makes sense. You reward decent treatment with loyalty. On the other hand, the modern dating game is like having a dog that will only wag its tail when you're hitting it with a newspaper and screaming at it. When you give the dog a treat and attempt to pet it's head, it will bite you.

 

[MikelArteta]

Today is the day I realised I invested alot of time, money, emotion, etc into a female that ultimately wasn't worth it.

I feel like an idiot becase looking back, there were many signs, some more obvious than others. I'm a man so I always look at how accountable FIRST but damn man, still leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.

Anyway, I been following this thread since it began but today is where I really soak in, real, authentic, game tailored for the everyday man.

More in depth?

 

[qwertmeister]

You can never piece it all together until you look at it backwards.
Then you get mad at urself and feel like a fool b/c more than likely the woman LIED to you right in your face and you believed it. Even tho you had no reason NOT to disbelieve her, you're still mad at yourself.

Now you KNOW she was wrong for u, a waste of ur time/feelings, and ur glad you got away from her....but some small part of you still likes her.

yep..hindsight is always 20/20...but you live n learn

 

[Fredo Santana]

fukk em good

 

[Im clue]

fukk em good

With all the advice and knowledge on this thread, thats just a grain of sand.

 

[Wild self]

I didn't get around to answering the question, but I will now. I feel the solution is to stop dealing with women who have this entitled attitude. The reason they do what they do is that they are being rewarded regardless of how they act. They won't change until they quit being rewarded for their awful behavior.

The real problem is that these women were told they were sugar and spice and everything nice and they NEVER get chastized for their wrongs. They always have somebody bailing them out for their bad behavior and they end up getting spoiled rotten. How many times have women gone off the heel and started acting crazy, hooping and hollaring and even hitting a man, but the man is supposed to be quiet and just walk away? How often can the woman throw these hissy fits and do all this screaming, but the man is supposed to leave the house that he is probably paying for? That's nonsense.
The problem is you have all these simps defending this behavior and reinforcing the attitude that women can do anything and we're just supposed to just sit around and let her lash out.

Our parents may ask us, why aren't you married. Ask your dad whether he would have married a woman that can't cook, won't clean, has a bunch of male friends that she won't get rid of, has already slept with with 30 guys prior to you meeting her and what do you think he will say?

If all you're doing is having sex and leaving them, of course you will be happy with the status of these modern western women, because many of them give it up easy and they reward men who are noncommital... It's all gravy until you catch an STD or you start getting kids pinned on you which don't even necessarily have to be yours.

I think the big problem a lot of guys are having is that you just can't treat women with respect. I know a lot of men who WANT to treat a woman with respect, but they come to the stark realiziation that doing so will get them put in the provider category while she has some other guy blazing that thing up.You get the best behavior from women by being aloof, noncommital, disrespectful, all the while speaking some smooth gibberish out of your mouth. What's crazy is that you may want to get to know these women, but they don't really want to get to know you. They are more concerned with the image you are projecting. The less you tell them and being vague with your answers makes you mysterious in their eyes.

We sit here and talk about all that must be done to keep these 'modern women' interested, but the reality of the situation is that there is nothing you can really do to keep them interested. You can't keep someone who doesn't want to be kept. Most of these women hold no value on relationships, so you will be engaging in an unwise action getting in one with them. Now what they WILL do is play along with you. They will tell you they want commitment, but will actually punish it. They want the fruits of a relationship such as companionship, someone to listen to their problems, support them financially etc, while they reward the guy that is the opposite of it.

They want a responsible man so they can neglect him, while rewarding some guy that hits it and quits it on the side. More often than not, you got one guy who is paying the bills, listening to her problems, watching her kid, taking her to dinner, taking her to the movies, etc.. she gives that dude the attitude and rations out attention to him... but then she has that 'other dude' she met at the club or at work who talks to her any which way, who she'll let do things she won't let her man do. He plays hard to get, talks disrespectfully to her, might even hit her, etc., but she'll take her man's money and give it to him, let him push her man's car and let him do her any which way sexually.

That's the real dilemma here. You see a woman and you want to treat her respectfully, but you feel cautious because you don't want her to take that kindness the wrong way and try to turn you into a provider. It's so bad you got rules like don't take her to dinner, but take her for coffee instead or don't buy her a drink, and the sad thing is, those rules exist for a reason. It's like you have to do this trickery to maintain her interest, but really, what is her 'interest' worth?

Who really wants to be tethered to someone that unless you act a certain way, they will take advantage of you? Who really wants to be in a relationship with someone that punishes decent behavior? You have all these rules out here because it's true. You help a woman out with her bills, pay for her school, listen to her problems and things of that nature and you'll get used. You come at her like you don't care about all that and you just pretty much want to knock it down, then she rewards you. What kind of sense does that make?

With your friends, you treat them well and they will appreciate it. Let's take even a dog for instance. You treat a dog well and the dog will be friendly and even give up its life for you. That's something that makes sense. You reward decent treatment with loyalty. On the other hand, the modern dating game is like having a dog that will only wag its tail when you're hitting it with a newspaper and screaming at it. When you give the dog a treat and attempt to pet it's head, it will bite you.

When it comes down to it, you have to make a choice as a man. It's tough being you because you are rewarded in the short-term by being her three ring circus act or some immoral guy who is playing her thriller man on the side... but long term? Be you. It will give you WAY MORE peace of mind in the long-term... and you may have to actually get out of here in order to find a woman that was raised on decent values and is actually wifeable.

We've been sitting around here discussing countless solutions and methods to the problem, and the solution is much simpler than you've been expecting. What is it? Don't deal with it? If she's coming with that stank attitude, gotta go, gotta go. Doesn't appreciate what you're doing for her? She needs to keep it pushing... and all in the meanwhile, you're doing the things you love and just loving life. The only way to win is to not put up with her nonsense and demand that she actually brings something to the table. You cannot pay and plead with a woman to make her act right. You have to demand it, and if she doesn't want to bring decent behavior to the table, then you simply tell her she can't eat at the table.

you need to publish a book before the CIA kill ya

 

[II Showtime II]

you need to publish a book before the CIA kill ya

breh this thread is our manifesto

 

[Wild self]

breh this thread is our manifesto

Breh, the entire world needs to read this shyt

 

[Mickey Kane]

More in depth?

Man, you trying to make me look a fool out here, this is gonna be embarassing for me. Aight...

About 6 years ago, we met, she was 17, I was 19. Approached to get her number but she had a man but gave me the number anyway. Red flag #1 , but she young so whatever.

Anyway, guess I was in the Friend Zone for a couple years but it was cool. Ended up going going to same university too which was crazy & we'd hang out sometimes. I was still tryna get at her though & it got to a point where she was like, 'STOP'. I didn't like the way she said it & we stopped talking for just under a year. Anyway, fast forward to I'd say 2010 & we're cool again, more comfortable around each other. She's still with her man, I got my girl now. Deep down, I still wanna smash but for me, the friendship became 'genuine' by that point.

2011, June, she hollas at me, talking about she thinks her man is cheating. I'm like, "fukk" because a part of me sees that window of opportunity slowly opening & I feel guilty right. So I actually help her out her man by telling her not to rush to a decision, hear him out, get evidence, etc. I got my own girl, that r'ship was on its last legs & I felt uneasy about my urge to make my own move....

Anyway, she breaks up with her dude & I end up breaking up with my girl. More to do with the fact my girl just weren't on my level but the friend definitely help spark that break up.

So within a week of us ending our relationships, we start messing with each other. I look back & can admit I was a rebound but she'd say because of our history, I meant more, blah, blah, etc.

Anyway, now I start catching feelings. My logic is, we got the friendship. We got the sex. We like each other, obviously, we en route to something official.



She starts feeling a bit trapped, etc. Can't blame her, she just got out of a 5 year relationship. So we break it off. I ask her if she's ok with me doing my own thing. She says yes. Like an idiot, I thought it was straightforward.


So cool, lemme get back to doing me & we try to go back to our friendship. I'm telling her about other girls. Eventually, she telling me about dudes she dating. I'm feeling salty because I'm looking at her like, "Wasn't the reason we broke up because you said you didn't wanna be seeing anybody?". At the same time, she getting jealous over me seeing with other women? Lol. Between October 2011 to literally, June this year, a lot of back & forths occur. She'd try to get me jealous by flirting with other dudes in front me. I'm doing similar shyt, SMH.

But she still like, "I don't want to complicate things further so let's not do anything."

Aight. Anyway, recently, she thought I was trying to get at her girl. Which I wasn't, but had a fight over that. I'm at the club 2 Saturdays ago, I knew she was gonna be there so I tried to squash it because you know, I love(d) this girl. As a friend before anything so talked to her to make sure things are cool. But then I remembered her talking to a male acquaintance of mine which I didn't like but you didn't want to make a scene.

So I holla at him, just to see what's good. And he's acting surprised because he's asking me, 'Breh, why you getting aggy for? That ain't your girl & she behaving like that with a COUPLE of fellas within the scene..."

When I tell you I was shell-shocked. To make it worse, breh told me she denied anything that we had together. To be real, it was never official, but too many things happened & were said for anyone to say we never had a thing. So I'm looking at it like, you flirting with n*ggaz within my circle, you denying our thing, you being hypocrite because you wiled out at the thought of me getting at your girl...

Like, shyt still ain't registered. LOL.

But the bulk of all this pain took place in December, I'm more than ready to move on but to think of all the time, emotion, resources wasted on this girl annoys me.

 

[winb83]

i think it needs to be said that you can never fix a broken relationship and i mean never.
once a relationship is damaged you have two choices either accept the relationship under the terms of the damage and continue it from there as is or walk away.

shyt is like dropping a plate on the floor and having it break. even if you can glue the pieces back together it will never look exactly like it did before. the damage will always be part of it.

a lot of people deceive themselves and try to get things back to the way they were. part of things being the way they were is ignorance on either your part or hers. you can't regain that once its lost.

 

[Mickey Kane]

Like I mentioned earlier, I'm accountable for a lot of what took place. As a man, I'm not going to get bitter & start bashing. I allowed a lot of foolish behaviour & I want to take responsibility for that.

But my main thing is, as HOMIES, some of the sh*t done/said shouldn't have happened. On that level alone, she should be looking out for me. I genuinely believe that she does care for me in some way. She's told me she loves, I know she still keeps souvenirs from our time together. Sh*t even the fact she actually rages at the idea of me with other girls lets me know how she feels deep down.

What's crazy is, it's never been about actually BEING with her. It was more about her being real with me & admitting her feelings FOR me. Because I never knew where I stood with her, the mixed signals were crazy & had me bugging for a minute.

But denying our thing & subsequently making me look a simp? Nah. Last straw. One thing to break a man's heart & but his pride? Nah.

 

[OSUBaneBrowns]

Like I mentioned earlier, I'm accountable for a lot of what took place. As a man, I'm not going to get bitter & start bashing. I allowed a lot of foolish behaviour & I want to take responsibility for that.

But my main thing is, as HOMIES, some of the sh*t done/said shouldn't have happened. On that level alone, she should be looking out for me. I genuinely believe that she does care for me in some way. She's told me she loves, I know she still keeps souvenirs from our time together. Sh*t even the fact she actually rages at the idea of me with other girls lets me know how she feels deep down.

What's crazy is, it's never been about actually BEING with her. It was more about her being real with me & admitting her feelings FOR me. Because I never knew where I stood with her, the mixed signals were crazy & had me bugging for a minute.

But denying our thing & subsequently making me look a simp? Nah. Last straw. One thing to break a man's heart & but his pride? Nah.

That women for you. Just take the L and keep it moving. What goes around comes around eventually.

 

[The ADD]

Like I mentioned earlier, I'm accountable for a lot of what took place. As a man, I'm not going to get bitter & start bashing. I allowed a lot of foolish behaviour & I want to take responsibility for that.

But my main thing is, as HOMIES, some of the sh*t done/said shouldn't have happened. On that level alone, she should be looking out for me. I genuinely believe that she does care for me in some way. She's told me she loves, I know she still keeps souvenirs from our time together. Sh*t even the fact she actually rages at the idea of me with other girls lets me know how she feels deep down.

What's crazy is, it's never been about actually BEING with her. It was more about her being real with me & admitting her feelings FOR me. Because I never knew where I stood with her, the mixed signals were crazy & had me bugging for a minute.

But denying our thing & subsequently making me look a simp? Nah. Last straw. One thing to break a man's heart & but his pride? Nah.

But were you really ever homies? Deep down you gotta ask yourself that and from what I;m reading the answer is no.