Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

[Sharp]

This is a message for all of my younger brehs between the ages of 19 and 26

Don't stress these chicks. The older you get, the easier it becomes. Why?

Because you're more established. And then you will get to pick, choose,discard at will as women will be in abundance.

When women are in their early 20s they have an advantage. I'd like to compare them to new cars. Everybody wants the newest model. But as they age, they get model and their value depreciates.

Men we appreciate with value as we get older.

This is why you see women in their 30s and 40s desperate to find a man to commit, while men in that same age range are either settled down with the woman of their dreams or picking, choosing, and discarding these chicks.

When we are younger, the women are choosing, while men are running around chasing any piece of tail we can, resulting in many of us dealing with women of inferior quality, and some of us getting them pregnant, either having to pay child support or marrying a woman of poor quality

Wait! Take your time in your early 20s. Don't stress these chicks. Have fun, but work on building yourself to be the man you want to be. If you build it, they will come

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

I'm increasingly becoming more convinced that looks aren't everything as I get older. It sounds like common sense, but as men, as soon as we see a fine woman, our mind completely shifts into another zone and the majority of our logic and common sense get thrown out of the window. 9 times out of 10, this is how we end up in terrible situations. We put a woman's looks on a pedestal as opposed to the actual quality of her character.

One of the absolute key qualities that you need to find when dealing with a woman is to get with one that you are completely comfortable in being yourself around. Sooner or later, the woman will absolutely have to meet the real you and a lot of guys get caught up putting a facade trying to impress this or that woman, but they eventually get tired of putting on an act, the real them comes around and the woman leaves because 'you've changed', when in reality, the real you you've been hiding comes out. This sounds like common sense, but how many men really practice this as opposed to trying to use these pickup lines or secret techniques in order to impress some woman? The key to this is that you simply have to let women walk who do not naturally feel you.

There are women that a man just clicks with and then there are women where there is absolutely nothing there, but you end up trying to force the issues because she's fine. Instead of letting her walk, the guy will come up with a fake personality or some kind of routine and try to morph into the guy he thinks she likes, which eventually leads into the scenario I've talked about. He may catch her, but sooner or later, the act is too much effort to keep up, the real him comes out and she leaves because that isn't what caught her interest in the first place. Certain women you just have to let walk.

You simply have to spend 100% of time being yourself, but the best version of yourself and letting those women walk that aren't into who you are. There is a certain peace of mind that comes to you when you stop trying to put together some canned routine or dictating your every move by what you imagine what you think some woman likes. Stop asking yourself lame questions like, "What clothes do the women like? What secret things do I have to say?" Different women like different things. Your attitude should be if she doesn't like you, she needs to move out of the way so the woman who does can get a shot. The moment you stop questioning yourself and catering your every activity to what you imagine some woman likes and you focus on being yourself is when you start developing real confidence.

I understand what you are saying, but you speak from the perspective of an older head who's undoubtedly already had his 'fun', has maaad kills under his belt and is looking to settle down. I've been "myself" for the past two decades and it has not done anything substantial for me. Right now I am trying to get out more and pick up some interesting hobbies with the hope that it won't be as difficult to attract women. In my opinion there's very few people, let alone girls who will like you for you or maybe I just have some very superficial friends.

 

[RealAssanova]

Maaan, finally I am able to post here. I used to have a coli account around 2 years ago before I went on hiatus. I've been lurking a lot in the intervening time though. I really need y'alls advice about this chick I want to get. I don't know if I should disengage or keep yacking at her.
But anyways before I share the story just wanted to give a shout out to all the 6ixside brehs (it's always great getting game from you fellas with that local flava), especially @Asantehene ... you remember me breh? You were giving me advice on how to approach two chicks in my class two years ago. It was shytty advice my nikka . I graduated without getting the cheeks and I'm not talking to either girl right now which kind of sucks because we were sort of tight during school time.

You better redeem yourself by giving me good advice on how to handle this broad I'm trying to get right now

@Asantehene you heard da breh

 

[kevm3]

I understand what you are saying, but you speak from the perspective of an older head who's undoubtedly already had his 'fun', has maaad kills under his belt and is looking to settle down. I've been "myself" for the past two decades and it has not done anything substantial for me. Right now I am trying to get out more and pick up some interesting hobbies with the hope that it won't be as difficult to attract women. In my opinion there's very few people, let alone girls who will like you for you or maybe I just have some very superficial friends.

When I say be yourself, I'm not saying do what you've always done. You might have to get out more, visit different places, workout more, be more social, etc., but at the end of the day, you have to stand on a set of principles. You're also going to have to work on various aspects of yourself that you find as a weakness. But to concoct some fake personalities to pull women, you're going to be wasting your time.

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

When I say be yourself, I'm not saying do what you've always done. You might have to get out more, visit different places, workout more, be more social, etc., but at the end of the day, you have to stand on a set of principles. You're also going to have to work on various aspects of yourself that you find as a weakness. But to concoct some fake personalities to pull women, you're going to be wasting your time.

yah I feel you on that bro. & i'm definitely not the type to go above and beyond for some woman. it's just too exhausting.

 

[root_eruditorium_org]

Damn sounds exactly like me.

I have photographic memory for the oddest conversation details, but I've learned to conveniently "forget" certain things in order not to look weird / like a creep. Once you get your social skills up it will be nothing navigating these delicate scenarios.

 

[Atlrocafella]

But anyways here's the story. I met this petite white chick at a party like late last year. I thought she was alright back then but we kept running into each other through our mutual friends and she looked like she was single so I figured I'd ask for her number which I did a couple of weeks ago (I can't remember if it was early January or not). Anyways during the time I asked for her number I remember her mentioning that she was joining this cooking meetup. She asked if I wanted to join and I said yea I'm down. The first meeting was starting like within the next two weeks so in the two weeks since I got the number I basically did not talk to her but after the first meeting I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie with me on Tuesday and she said she was busy on Tuesday but might be free on Friday and she would let me know if anything came up. Early in the morning Thursday I called her and she told me that she had to babysit her nephew (or niece? can't remember) on Friday and couldn't go out. Afterwards she told me that she pretty much wouldn't be free the last week of January because she'd been procrastinating about applying for jobs and had to do it ASAP and it would take her a while. The earliest she could do any hanging out is February, which incidentally is starting today!

Now the moment she told me this I was like because literally the last 2-3 chicks I approached who curved me did so in a similar vague manner (Like word for word I've had a broad not even give me a good reason - she said she didn't "feel" like hanging out this month, maybe next month - I was like cuz I already didn't like her shytty attitude anyways).

But anyways this chick is still a student so her excuse kinda makes sense. Since she's curved me two times, i was going to wait for her to put some initiative into going out sometime this week but it doesn't look like it's forthcoming. Should I pester her one more time or should I just basically ignore her until either she responds to me or she flies away like a birdie like that cam'ron song. What's y'alls advice? Has a chick ever not had time for you in the 1-2 weeks you started pursuing her but you still ended up being with her or is she basically a lost case for me? Keep in mind that my biggest problem since a long time ago is that I tend to take waay too long to make my move. I'm thinking of calling her tomorrow and just asking her if she wants to hang out and giving her an ultimatum, yes or no? If she says no I'm straight cuz there's maaad girls in the cooking class still who look promising so I won't be heartbroken for more than a day and a half lool

The OG @Reinscarf has said this before. When a chick is feeling you, there aren't excuses good enough to keep her from trying to see you. She already curved you twice breh, she belongs to the bushes now. Move on to something new, if she wants to hit you up at some point and you're still up for it, than cool, but don't be chasing this chick around trying to get her for a 3rd time.

 

[Atlrocafella]

This is a message for all of my younger brehs between the ages of 19 and 26

Don't stress these chicks. The older you get, the easier it becomes. Why?

Because you're more established. And then you will get to pick, choose,discard at will as women will be in abundance.

When women are in their early 20s they have an advantage. I'd like to compare them to new cars. Everybody wants the newest model. But as they age, they get model and their value depreciates.

Men we appreciate with value as we get older.

This is why you see women in their 30s and 40s desperate to find a man to commit, while men in that same age range are either settled down with the woman of their dreams or picking, choosing, and discarding these chicks.

When we are younger, the women are choosing, while men are running around chasing any piece of tail we can, resulting in many of us dealing with women of inferior quality, and some of us getting them pregnant, either having to pay child support or marrying a woman of poor quality

Wait! Take your time in your early 20s. Don't stress these chicks. Have fun, but work on building yourself to be the man you want to be. If you build it, they will come

This is the Truth. I "so what" these women so much it's rediculous. I feel like there's not a woman out there who wouldn't be happy to have me. When your shyt is together, that confidence booster is amazing . When you don't make women the center of your world, you tolerate less bullshyt and make them find the exit quickly. Now I only deal with high quality women worth my time. I got two dope chicks trying to have my babies right now, I gotta keep them back lol

 

[Urbanmiracle]

Sup fellas. After getting rid of some dead weight I decided to focus on myself. End up with a side gig for a label producing and song writing for their up and coming r&b acts.

Recently I ran into a friend of a friend and we ended up on two dates. She 29, visiting nurse, no kids. She seems cool enough. Gonna chill on this one and still focus on my projects.

 

[DarkHorse23]

I'm increasingly becoming more convinced that looks aren't everything as I get older. It sounds like common sense, but as men, as soon as we see a fine woman, our mind completely shifts into another zone and the majority of our logic and common sense get thrown out of the window. 9 times out of 10, this is how we end up in terrible situations. We put a woman's looks on a pedestal as opposed to the actual quality of her character.

One of the absolute key qualities that you need to find when dealing with a woman is to get with one that you are completely comfortable in being yourself around. Sooner or later, the woman will absolutely have to meet the real you and a lot of guys get caught up putting a facade trying to impress this or that woman, but they eventually get tired of putting on an act, the real them comes around and the woman leaves because 'you've changed', when in reality, the real you you've been hiding comes out. This sounds like common sense, but how many men really practice this as opposed to trying to use these pickup lines or secret techniques in order to impress some woman? The key to this is that you simply have to let women walk who do not naturally feel you.

There are women that a man just clicks with and then there are women where there is absolutely nothing there, but you end up trying to force the issues because she's fine. Instead of letting her walk, the guy will come up with a fake personality or some kind of routine and try to morph into the guy he thinks she likes, which eventually leads into the scenario I've talked about. He may catch her, but sooner or later, the act is too much effort to keep up, the real him comes out and she leaves because that isn't what caught her interest in the first place. Certain women you just have to let walk.

You simply have to spend 100% of time being yourself, but the best version of yourself and letting those women walk that aren't into who you are. There is a certain peace of mind that comes to you when you stop trying to put together some canned routine or dictating your every move by what you imagine what you think some woman likes. Stop asking yourself lame questions like, "What clothes do the women like? What secret things do I have to say?" Different women like different things. Your attitude should be if she doesn't like you, she needs to move out of the way so the woman who does can get a shot. The moment you stop questioning yourself and catering your every activity to what you imagine some woman likes and you focus on being yourself is when you start developing real confidence.

 

[DarkHorse23]

Hey guys,

This isn't a woman related question, but a friend related question. An old high school friend today reached out through email(who i fallen out with 2-3 years ago) and said "Mike, It's been a long time since we have spoken. Although, we had a fallen out awhile back, I do miss our friendship. I still live in the Houston area and would like to hangout whenever you out here. If you want to speak again hit me up ***-***-****. If not I understand and I wish you the best." My question is do you think i should, or should i just move on since it's been such a while(2013/2014).

 

[360dagod]

Hey guys,

This isn't a woman related question, but a friend related question. An old high school friend today reached out through email(who i fallen out with 2-3 years ago) and said "Mike, It's been a long time since we have spoken. Although, we had a fallen out awhile back, I do miss our friendship. I still live in the Houston area and would like to hangout whenever you out here. If you want to speak again hit me up ***-***-****. If not I understand and I wish you the best." My question is do you think i should, or should i just move on since it's been such a while(2013/2014).

how long yall were cool?
what was the issue about?

 

[Gus Money]

Apologies if this is a long read.

I messed up and started speaking to ex again about a year ago. One thing led to another and we started having sex again. I was getting caught up and messed around unprotected...then she decided that she doesn't want to take the pill.

(For context) She has a condition where her ovaries don't produce the amount of eggs that it's supposed to so her window to have children could potentially be smaller than the average woman. This is what caused us to break up in the first place because she was afraid that she wouldn't get the chance to have kids when we were older and I didn't wanna try for kid at the time (I was 20).

Because of this, she outright told me that she wasn't gonna take the pill since she wants to see if she can conceive and because "she loves me", if she can only have a limited amount of kids, she wants to make sure that they're mine.

Since she had just recently had her period and she's irregular, I had to wait damn near 6 weeks before her next period came (Thank God it did). Those 6 weeks were hell for me because I was balancing my new job and dealing with her taking me through a mental roller coaster. She was doing stuff like guilting me, saying I'm not supportive, just making me feel like a generally shytty person.

After she had the period, I fell back from dealing with her but since then, I'm subject to heavy phone conversations and having to listen to her cry on the phone and talk in a very borderline suicidal manner (this shyt eats me up because I'm genuinely concerned for her). It's draining.

So now, I'm trying to move on. I've got a new role within the company that I'm starting tomorrow and I'm trying to actually start dating again (haven't even spoken to another girl romantically for 4 years) but I've got this cloud of guilt swirling over me and I feel like I need to stay connected to my ex to a certain degree because I fear that if I cut her off properly, I'll get a phone call from her mum one day, saying that's she's killed herself.

I just dunno man

Honestly man, it doesn't sound like you're ready to start dating again, and that's okay. What's the rush? Why not just take some time to just focus on yourself and get the negativity out of your life?

I know the popular advice is to get over one chick by finding another, but it can be pretty bad advice. I mean, think of how often dudes just find themselves in a similar situation. You broke up with your ex for a reason and you still messed around with her. What's to stop you from ending up in another situation where a chick is pressuring you to have kids and then just goes off birth control? You don't want that stress again man.

I've made the mistake of messing with an ex before and it opened my eyes to the fact that I need to take a long time to just date myself. Also, you're only gonna struggle in the dating game if you're consumed by guilt from an ex.

Are you still in contact with the ex? Getting rid of her and her negative presence (or at least minimizing it) should be your first priority.

 

[DarkHorse23]

how long yall were cool?
what was the issue about?

2007(friends) I'm 26, he's 25. We've been friends since i was 17 and he was 16.

From his standpoint (this is what i believe and what I vaguely remember ) he came out to meet me on a week day (with another friend)and he drove out to see me, and i was suppose to meet up with him, but at the last minute couldn't because of my car situation, and i think that upset him because he felt inconvenienced, but trying to make an unfortunate situation better, i told him we could make up for it that weekend(fourth of july weekend). We also talked about hanging out that weekend anyway prior to him coming out to see me that day. So anyway i texted him on the day before July 4 and asked him "what are you doing this weekend?" and he texted back "i'm hanging with my girl." From my standpoint, i felt like he just curved me just because he was still upset about what happened earlier that week, and not only did he diss me but he did it in favor for his girlfriend. How you going diss me, and not only diss me in favor of someone you've known less time than me. I knew this nikka since 11th grade, we were best friends, and you curve me in favor of a girlfriend you may have had a year(if that). After he texted me that response, i haven't spoken to him since. That was July 3, 2013 or 2014. For the most part it's something petty, but it's been so long since we spoke, and quite frankly he had to started to change as a friend(in subtle ways) long before the incident that i don't even know if it's worth rekindling. SMH sometimes you gotta leave certain people in the past, so you can be blessed with better people. *shrugs* Idk

 

[360dagod]

2007(friends) I'm 26, he's 25. We've been friends since i was 17 and he was 16.

From his standpoint (this is what i believe and what I vaguely remember ) he came out to meet me on a week day (with another friend)and he drove out to see me, and i was suppose to meet up with him, but at the last minute couldn't because of my car situation, and i think that upset him because he felt inconvenienced, but trying to make an unfortunate situation better, i told him we could make up for it that weekend(fourth of july weekend). We also talked about hanging out that weekend anyway prior to him coming out to see me that day. So anyway i texted him on the day before July 4 and asked him "what are you doing this weekend?" and he texted back "i'm hanging with my girl." From my standpoint, i felt like he just curved me just because he was still upset about what happened earlier that week, and not only did he diss me but he did it in favor for his girlfriend. How you going diss me, and not only diss me in favor of someone you've known less time than me. I knew this nikka since 11th grade, we were best friends, and you curve me in favor of a girlfriend you may have had a year(if that). After he texted me that response, i haven't spoken to him since. That was July 3, 2013 or 2014. For the most part it's something petty, but it's been so long since we spoke, and quite frankly he had to started to change as a friend(in subtle ways) long before the incident that i don't even know if it's worth rekindling. SMH sometimes you gotta leave certain people in the past, so you can be blessed with better people. *shrugs* Idk

Dynamics change....

but the foundation should still be strong to overcome a circumstance like that..

You aint gotta be best friends like before, but i think time heals those kinds of wounds