Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women

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HAWAII
I lived this for about the same amount of time you mentioned only thing different is that we never fukked or even dated. I had serious issues with this broad but have been in a pretty good mood since I overheard her and another woman discussing her being pregnant, I let the anger for her go instantly.


Care to elaborate on why she had you stuck like that? I will say that besides the emotional issues, my ex was gorgeous, very smart academically (studying to be a psychiatrist, the irony, I know), and just came off as a really cool chick. Of course I should have seen the red flag when she was able to hop out of a 3 year relationship and seemingly instantly (within a month or so) start dating me.
 
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Care to elaborate on why she had you stuck like that? I will say that besides the emotional issues, my ex was gorgeous, very smart academically (studying to be a psychiatrist, the irony, I know), and just came off as a really cool chick. Of course I should have seen the red flag when she was able to hop out of a 3 year relationship and seemingly instantly (within a month or so) start dating me.

For me the woman I wanted was one of the first or at least the only one I noticed giving me any type of attention, she would start up random convos with me, smile and stare constantly. I was around the 300 lb range when this was all going down so it did good for my confidence. I let her know how I felt about her and she led me on for months and just did a lot of uncalled for shyt over the last few years even after I had moved past the feelings I had for her, had I been coming here I would've left her alone a long ass time ago but I was trying to be a decent human being with someone who didn't care about me.
 
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For me the woman I wanted was one of the first or at least the only one I noticed giving me any type of attention, she would start up random convos with me, smile and stare constantly. I was around the 300 lb range when this was all going down so it did good for my confidence. I let her know how I felt about her and she led me on for months and just did a lot of uncalled for shyt over the last few years even after I had moved past the feelings I had for her, had I been coming here I would've left her alone a long ass time ago but I was trying to be a decent human being with someone who didn't care about me.


mm interesting. you have any reason to think she was BPD? and for brehs who ain't up on BPD just google the shyt and read the stories. you will be shocked and amazed.
 
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mm interesting. you have any reason to think she was BPD? and for brehs who ain't up on BPD just google the shyt and read the stories. you will be shocked and amazed.

I jokingly said that she had BPD the last time I really tried to talk with her and she accused me of trying to force her into a relationship but later that day this woman asked my neighbor about me joining the LSC at the school where she teaches at like shyt never happened. I spoke with an older lady who has known her for years and said she does that bipolar type of behavior to everybody. I saw that BPD mentions unstable relationships and she had at least three that I know of since I met her, she was in the middle of getting divorced when I first met her.
 

reserved_one

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:salute:

And you're a man for being in here learning cuz most dudes egos don't allow them to. But that's why most dudes have bad luck with women.

Yeah man, and trust if you know your confidence and swag is off she can absolutely feel it -- even if she's never seen you with your swag on a trillion yet. You know how we talk about women being emotional? We talk about it in the negative sense, but never forget that women are far more emotionally intelligent than us and can sense when your vibe is off. They're in touch with their feelings early, while we're more logical and put our feelings to the side. Women's intuition is real, so you can say all the right things but even the slightest passivity in your energy is going to ring alarms much louder than any words that come out your mouth.

That's why going for that hard yes or hard no is so important. They're both good, because they give you information. A yes is good for obvious reasons, while a no lets you know whether you're wasting your time or not. If it's an emphatic :wtf: type no, you know that y'all aren't on the same page and don't want the same things out of life. If it's a girly, wishy washy :usure: type no, where she makes up an excuse that seems silly or moves your hand off of her titty but doesn't seem cold, it probably means she's either not turned on enough yet or is trying to be a "good girl", which means all you gotta do is be like :mjgrin: "Word" and then wait for a little bit or change up your approach.

But either way, all it is is INFORMATION. If you treat it like information, you'll be detached from the outcome which means you have no reason not to have your swag and confidence on. If you're attached to the outcome, it means you're wanting her yes or no to validate your confidence and swag, which women take as a signal subconsciously that you're not the man you say you are, and on an animal level, not valuable enough for her to procreate with.

That's why I choose to hold men accountable, because we're always in the driver's seat for either getting what we want or recognizing it's time to move on. Women are more reactive and passive, so all they can do is give off signals. But when you learn to read the chess board and pick up on those signals your game will become gigantic :wow:


EDIT:


Shiiiit and bro don't be afraid to turn an awkward L into a W either. Being bold when you fukked up is just as sexy to a woman as not fukking up at all.

For instance, when you grabbed her face:


Ol' Girl: My dog does that :russ:

Breh: Oh yeah? :mjgrin: Well does your dog do this? :shaq:

THEN KISS HER


This shyt is like verbal/mental jiu jitsu :wow:

:salute:Real shyt.

Yeah next time we hangout, im going for the jugglar. I gotta just be myself, get rid of the fear and take that risk. If it pays off, cool if not..atleast I tried.
 
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:salute:Real shyt.

Yeah next time we hangout, im going for the jugglar. I gotta just be myself, get rid of the fear and take that risk. If it pays off, cool if not..atleast I tried.

That's the right attitude to have, when I was out this weekend I made some moves with the chick I was with just didn't go as far as I wanted but next time i'm going for mine.
 

Deafheaven

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See the thing is with me...I don't want a woman that's too easy because than it makes me think of how quick she gave it up to other dudes.

But at the same time, I don't want someone that's hard as fukk to obtain where you feel like you wasting you're time.

I'm just like :yeshrug: at this point...I shouldn't be stressing this damn much over a woman :francis:
This is a silly mentality imo that a lot of brehs have. If she gave it up fast in the past and she making you wait all that happened is that dude ramped her attraction up wayyyyy faster than you or she sees you as boyfriend material. I've had girls I've slept with first couple times I've seen them and had good relationships and girls who made me wait far longer that fizzled quickly. Its 2017, people are more open sexually than ever. Only reason a women making you wait 3-5 dates or more to scrape is because she not really feeling you like that. And several dates without a kiss :wow ? pretty soon she'll auto disqualify herself and ghost because she either isn't attracted to you or she thinks you really don't like her.
 

twan83

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This is a silly mentality imo that a lot of brehs have. If she gave it up fast in the past and she making you wait all that happened is that dude ramped her attraction up wayyyyy faster than you or she sees you as boyfriend material. I've had girls I've slept with first couple times I've seen them and had good relationships and girls who made me wait far longer that fizzled quickly. Its 2017, people are more open sexually than ever. Only reason a women making you wait 3-5 dates or more to scrape is because she not really feeling you like that. And several dates without a kiss :wow ? pretty soon she'll auto disqualify herself and ghost because she either isn't attracted to you or she thinks you really don't like her.

C/s
Sometimes chemistry so strong u fukk that quick it don't mean she does it other dudes
Some that make u wait a lil longer might be worse off

It's not even something brehs should make it a deal breaker at all

I've had success with quick sex and long sex and failures on both

If she ain't feeling u for a kiss after 2nd date take ur damn L she ain't feeling u at all

Majortiy time u kiss first date latest 2nd
Later than that :camby:

As far as sex goes I don't even care when we fukking imo sure waiting months be like :dahell:
But I'm of a simple mind of this

1. I always got another chic or chics on roster cuz obviously we ain't exclusive

2. If she ain't misleading me or teasing me I respect her wishes and when it goes down it will go down I ain't tripping


Y'all stress too damn much over just approaching a female cuz of damn rejection WORSE SHE CAN SAY IS NO
Let that be ur inspiration as a way to get better to approach females and build confidence and talk to them better

Stop getting mad cuz ur shyt ain't up to par to smash on 1st or 2nd date she ain't feeling u that way yet chill let that shyt build after a certain time frame then yea cut ur losses and take that L especially Asap if she dikk teasing and not letting u
If she respectful give her time to open up cuz if u do believe me it's 1 or 2 things gonna happen
She the type where sex is real important to her and once u get them drawls ur all hers and only hers

If she the other type she fukk u often but keep u around as a side dish
 

A1aaa

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here are a few random thoughts i've had given a [crazy] few months dealing with multiple brehettes. partially me reflecting, but hopefully it's helpful for my brehs out there--


1) funny how some women justify having a high body count by saying that being sexually experienced helps in pleasing their current partner. bish whet? :what: sex isnt calculus... more mental gymnastics to rationalize making the wrong choices. a lot of women wouldn't have given it up to a lot of nikkas if they could do a repeat.

2) if you're a professional black man making decent bread, it's hard to overstate how much of a gem you're perceived as. for women with emotional baggage from past nikkas... you are literally their ticket to a fairytale ending. these women will be beautiful... scrutinize their habits carefully and don't be afraid to cut it off just because they are attractive. in fact, having the fortitude to break up with an extremely attractive woman will allow you to have the confidence to look for more than just a pretty face / nice body in who you settle down with.

3) everybody wants a traditional woman but still want to do dirt. pick a side, nikka :why:

4) black women can definitely understand you on a level that other races of women will be tone-deaf to. especially if she's an enterprising black woman... she will help you grow. on the flip, just by virtue of our culture and being more outward... it's normalized for some of em to just feel like they can be extra with you as a black man til you set that tone. some brehs may not want that and may prefer the more submissive type. figure it out.

5) doing the short-term relationship thing makes you appreciate how amazing, how calming it is to FINALLY have time to yourself... :wow:. i've never been a relationship where i don't eventually feel like a ineed to take one week solitary breaks for myself from the chick...


6) a lot of educated, professional women out here who are big time freaks. the prudish exterior is sometimes a facade... big time :mjgrin:

7) a lot of brehs think they won if they got a baddie... a lot of men focus on the MONETARY aspect of keeping a chick in terms of dates, movies, etc... but the real drain is TIME. frivolous sex is never frivolous if you're wasting precious time that could be spent on hobbies, making more money, etc. Maybe i'm just hyper aware of the time i feel i'm *wasting sometimes hearing brehettes talk about random BS, arguments, etc... it's almost conditional with the p*ssy...

8) i've only dated women of color (mostly black, but also hispanic and arab)... and a lot have this latent fear of you cheating on them with beckies. that conditioning is a MF.
 
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here are a few random thoughts i've had given a [crazy] few months dealing with multiple brehettes. partially me reflecting, but hopefully it's helpful for my brehs out there--



8) i've only dated women of color (mostly black, but also hispanic and arab)... and a lot have this latent fear of you cheating on them with beckies. that conditioning is a MF.

When it comes to the last thought, I dont think its bad. Competition between females is a good thing and if black women, latina women or arab women, well women of color basically, feel they can lose you to a white woman anytime they will act right and make efforts to please you. A lot of women aint self-aware tho and might take you for granted still, but competition between females for you is never a bad thing. :mjpls:

You are right tho, A 22-45 year old black man in shape, well-dressed, socially calibrated and intelligent, and with serious money will have no problem to sample any kind of ethnicity out there. Women of color better step up their game and take action instead of worrying about pawgs.

:mjpls:
 

Crayola Coyote

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:merchant:You prob sound like Elliot Rodgers... fall back for a min. And take that L on backpages

Nah but no bullshytting the fact a stranger stopped you is a sign you fukking up badly

Instead of standing around watching me talking to women he should have joined in. :childplease: I'm going to Tampa this weekend so the women will be better. :ohlawd:
 

TRUEST

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here are a few random thoughts i've had given a [crazy] few months dealing with multiple brehettes. partially me reflecting, but hopefully it's helpful for my brehs out there--


1) funny how some women justify having a high body count by saying that being sexually experienced helps in pleasing their current partner. bish whet? :what: sex isnt calculus... more mental gymnastics to rationalize making the wrong choices. a lot of women wouldn't have given it up to a lot of nikkas if they could do a repeat.

2) if you're a professional black man making decent bread, it's hard to overstate how much of a gem you're perceived as. for women with emotional baggage from past nikkas... you are literally their ticket to a fairytale ending. these women will be beautiful... scrutinize their habits carefully and don't be afraid to cut it off just because they are attractive. in fact, having the fortitude to break up with an extremely attractive woman will allow you to have the confidence to look for more than just a pretty face / nice body in who you settle down with.

3) everybody wants a traditional woman but still want to do dirt. pick a side, nikka :why:

4) black women can definitely understand you on a level that other races of women will be tone-deaf to. especially if she's an enterprising black woman... she will help you grow. on the flip, just by virtue of our culture and being more outward... it's normalized for some of em to just feel like they can be extra with you as a black man til you set that tone. some brehs may not want that and may prefer the more submissive type. figure it out.

5) doing the short-term relationship thing makes you appreciate how amazing, how calming it is to FINALLY have time to yourself... :wow:. i've never been a relationship where i don't eventually feel like a ineed to take one week solitary breaks for myself from the chick...


6) a lot of educated, professional women out here who are big time freaks. the prudish exterior is sometimes a facade... big time :mjgrin:

7) a lot of brehs think they won if they got a baddie... a lot of men focus on the MONETARY aspect of keeping a chick in terms of dates, movies, etc... but the real drain is TIME. frivolous sex is never frivolous if you're wasting precious time that could be spent on hobbies, making more money, etc. Maybe i'm just hyper aware of the time i feel i'm *wasting sometimes hearing brehettes talk about random BS, arguments, etc... it's almost conditional with the p*ssy...

8) i've only dated women of color (mostly black, but also hispanic and arab)... and a lot have this latent fear of you cheating on them with beckies. that conditioning is a MF.

cant disagree with a single thing u said here. i must emphasize number 7 though. that is very important. i wrote a comment in a post several pages back about the amount of time i calculated i spent on just one chick over a weekend. 10 to 12 hours. if u dont have ur priorities straight, u can literally spend ur whole life chasing tale or doing "frivolous" things, if u do this type of sh1t every weekend or even multiple times a week.

but it takes discipline for a man to choose to be in solitude to work on himself, when u have so many distractions. it wont be until life has put u through a few fiery experiences before u realize sh1t, if u dont get ur life in order, no one's going to do it for u. all that roster keeping, or "fun" leads to nothing more than memories and wasted money.
 

MikelArteta

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I had a substantial amount of debt brehs , when I mean substantial I mean substantial incurring interest at a high rayev, since I'm getting married I told my fiance not knowing what to expect.


She gave me the money brehs.

She gave me the money to pay it off :mjcry:

Of course I'm going to pay her back but :wow:
 
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