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Essential Quick Lil Gems on Dealing with Women
- Thread starter Rominati
- Start date
Brandsdale
Big Yella
No need to explain tbhI'm an extroverted introvert.
Sometimes I feel like talking to everybody i see. Other times I don't feel like being bothered. Right now I'm in the don't feel like being bothered phase.
Neo. The Only. The One.
THE ONE
huh
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Straw Hat Luffy
Veteran
It’s always when you don’t even think about it fam. Friend of mine was in the city over the weekend with her girl. They told me to meet up with them but little did I know they had another friend with them. We hit it off instantly and I hooked up with her that night. We all hung out the entire weekend and it was so fukking fun.
We were like damn this one night stand might have to be more than just that. So I guess we will see what unfolds since she left. She always welcomed back to stay with me….
What’s wild is I don’t even invite the rest of my roster to the crib. I haven’t felt like this since I liked oh girl last year when. I went through a ordeal with oh girl from the past so a player gotta watch out and protect his mental health just in case I become super simp and things go south.
I got a friend that I talk to once in a while that’s heavily into church and hates the idea of sex before marriage. I talked to him last week where he was lecturing me that im gonna fall down a rabbit hole again when I smash a chick I catch feelings for.
Shesssssssssh
I got this tho.
We were like damn this one night stand might have to be more than just that. So I guess we will see what unfolds since she left. She always welcomed back to stay with me….
What’s wild is I don’t even invite the rest of my roster to the crib. I haven’t felt like this since I liked oh girl last year when. I went through a ordeal with oh girl from the past so a player gotta watch out and protect his mental health just in case I become super simp and things go south.
I got a friend that I talk to once in a while that’s heavily into church and hates the idea of sex before marriage. I talked to him last week where he was lecturing me that im gonna fall down a rabbit hole again when I smash a chick I catch feelings for.
Shesssssssssh
I got this tho.
Right! I had a whole other paragraph, which you probably described better, but essentially that whole scene is about competition and ego. The male side of the ego is who has the best table, the most bottles, the most women, and the club is just stripping money from the entire spectacle. It's not really about the women either, because like I said, most guys not going home with the beautiful strangers (and actually sleeping together) the bottle girls are explicitly encouraged to give their numbers to the highest ballers and even go on dates, because it's client retention.
Brandsdale
Big Yella
Nah I meant there’s no need to explain your story to that nikkaMaybe I just felt like telling my story like other brehs
He’s buggin lol
@D'Lo Brown
one of the reasons I wanted to participate here, is some posts of yours about "modern dating being based in prostitution culture", I thought that was an interesting theory/concept and while I don't 100% agree, I gave it a lot of thought, could you expand?
One could, easily argue, that the kind of courtship, and arranged marriages, of lets say the early 1900's are very close to prostitution too, and probably the root of all modern dating norms. Or even going further back to the feudal days of dowerys and shyt, is very close also. Transactional. but sticking with modern, if I was backing this theory, I would start here,
The money/transactional element, as in omnipresent relationship between money and sex, the (often unspoken) tacit agreement that looms over most dates, the idea that the man will pay for dinner and sex is expected, like a formula, whether once or three times, at some point it's expected.
Dating as a ongoing process, again, the tacit agreement, the man will pay, and support activities, but the expectation is that one will not continue without the other, and if one part stops, there will be a confrontation of sorts. Now, we are linking that to prostitution because of the exchange of money and sex, while mostly unspoken, is still there.
For my part, I don't care about any of those concepts, as in I don't feel anyone owes me sex, for dinner, or whatever, I like expensive places, that's my own thing, and never has any of my date's tastes, been more expensive than my own. I'm usually happy to invite someone and pay, but I do have experience in kind of this idea that I am not living up to the tacit agreement, which I found illuminating.
one of the reasons I wanted to participate here, is some posts of yours about "modern dating being based in prostitution culture", I thought that was an interesting theory/concept and while I don't 100% agree, I gave it a lot of thought, could you expand?
One could, easily argue, that the kind of courtship, and arranged marriages, of lets say the early 1900's are very close to prostitution too, and probably the root of all modern dating norms. Or even going further back to the feudal days of dowerys and shyt, is very close also. Transactional. but sticking with modern, if I was backing this theory, I would start here,
The money/transactional element, as in omnipresent relationship between money and sex, the (often unspoken) tacit agreement that looms over most dates, the idea that the man will pay for dinner and sex is expected, like a formula, whether once or three times, at some point it's expected.
Dating as a ongoing process, again, the tacit agreement, the man will pay, and support activities, but the expectation is that one will not continue without the other, and if one part stops, there will be a confrontation of sorts. Now, we are linking that to prostitution because of the exchange of money and sex, while mostly unspoken, is still there.
For my part, I don't care about any of those concepts, as in I don't feel anyone owes me sex, for dinner, or whatever, I like expensive places, that's my own thing, and never has any of my date's tastes, been more expensive than my own. I'm usually happy to invite someone and pay, but I do have experience in kind of this idea that I am not living up to the tacit agreement, which I found illuminating.
the literal term date/dating was used between a whore and a John.
Arranged marriages can't be prostitution because it isn't a sexual transaction.
Dating is not Courting.
Courting in most cultures was a Man going to a woman's parents and expressing his interest in their daughter and in turn, the man would spend a set window of time getting to know the woman + displaying his value (aka he has the ability to take care of her), if the woman deemed the man compatible she would be open for the next step. The same occurred in [many] cultures that do arranged marriages in the context that two families would come together and put the son and daughter together to see if they were compatible and if so then they would proceed with the marriage.
Prostitution is the literally selling of Sex as a translation. Marriage is a an institution of turning two into one for the purpose of legacy creation (children, combining wealth, taking over of land, etc).
You are trying to rationalize whore culture because it is all you know. No diss, but dating in the context we know it is not normal, hence why this thread is so long, because ultimately it is stupid. 95% of the nikkas in this thread only want sex, and only get in relationships for a stable supply of sex without having to compete in the market each time they want sex. you have people in this thread with multi year relationships with marriage no where in site.
But isn't old fashioned courting, (we can leave arranged marriages to the side) just the same transactional nature dressed up for different times? The act of buying gifts, sending flowers, sometimes or oftentimes pre even meeting? Couldn't modern dating generally fit the same description? ex: one pays for dinner and gifts to show interest and keep interest
it's not me trying to rationalize anything, I'm not interested in marriage, in the least, so I am not idealogical about any of this, as much as I am intellectually curious, sell me on that theory like a quick three point layout. Is the very idea of asking someone to dinner and paying, directly analogous to paying for sex? I think there's a lot true about that idea. Where is there more of a power imbalance? Me actually paying for an escort, or going on a regular date?
Like I was saying, mostly, between people don't discuss these things, or they discuss certain aspects, like WHO pays, and HOW much is paid, rather than why is money being discussed, and what are you really buying? Appreciate the insights.
Let me ask why are you even asking this? You don't come from a culture where courting is a thing (based on the responses) nor will courting ever be a thing in the USA in 2023/
You're conflating your understand of the world (naturally) and applying it to cultural norms that are not of your culture. Its all theoretical that really results in nothing.
I`m not even trying to be rude, but if what you took from my description of Courting is that it's dating in a different name then discussing the topic of courting is something you shouldn't even be doing, because you'll never understand it as you have no point of reference being that it is a foreign concept.
It's like someone explaining Hindu Traditions to a Southern Baptist, you'll "hear" them but you won't understand them no matter how much they explain lol because your lens of what is being presented will always be from that of a Southern Baptist (you're going continue to cross reference your culture in order to make sense of concepts that don't exist in your culture).
For me, it's just the intellectual curiously and attempts to understand the world, and those around me. I'm not ideological about these kinds of things. I'm far from some kind of traditionally moral person. I'm not defending or advocating for any of this. BUT, like I said, I think the concept is potentially fascinating. I think you may be right, or at least have a strong foundational theory, I just want to see it fleshed out more, but it's not me arguing.
So for me, I move in scenes, including my close friends, that very very very closely start to resemble escorting, but none of the people would label themselves that way. They would call it partying? dating? Friday night? but, what I see is that men of means, provide their homes, provide the drugs and alcohol, book dinner reservations, pay for the table they don't even want, basically to get women to their place. 4 women and 6 men, or 2 and, 2 whatever. A lot of the times these women are only vaguely interested in these men. And the sex part is all unspoken, mostly. But both parties know.
so, similar to how an escort may provide a fee to just show up, and then negotiate sex later right? By the end of the night, what happens, mostly, is the women finish the coke, finish the drinks and leave at 4:47 AM or whatever. That is for sure not always the case, but it often is. If these men decline to provide all the above, those women are NOT showing up. That is getting really close to escorting.
Tommy Lee Jones
All Star
Went out with this girl whose a federal prosecutor last Thursday. Kissed at the end. Friday I said round 2 next week she said def. I hit her up yesterday about meeting up on Wednesday. Haven't heard back yet. Do I hit her again or wait and if she don't hit me back follow up one more time? I am passed chasing these bytches hard but this feels like worth a follow up if I don't hear back?
RaspberryFitted
Boyz In Motion Member
just wait on her end.
You gave a definite time and it’s her choice if she wants to follow up
Talk to More women
Tommy Lee Jones
All Star
yea im not double texting about meeting up. was trying to see if I should follow up if I don't hear from her though.